by Anne Fraser
‘And what was that, darling?’ Abby asked.
‘He told me that panic kills more people than anything else. He said if you use your head, there is always a way out of most problems. So that’s what I did.’
Abby slid a glance at Mac. Emma was more her father’s daughter than she had realised. ‘When Simon fell, I knew he had hurt his leg quite badly and I knew we couldn’t walk out of the cave together. Not through the tide. So I climbed down to stay with him. But I had to get help. My mobile wasn’t working. I could hear you, Mum. Some of the words, at least, but not everything. I didn’t know for sure if you could hear me.
‘I waded out, the tide wasn’t so high then, and I waved my arms until I got someone’s attention. Then I went back to stay with Simon.’ Her voice trembled slightly. ‘But on the way I fell over a rock that I couldn’t see in the water and bumped my head. I think that’s when I hurt my arm.’
‘You were very brave. It must have been difficult to climb back up to Simon with only one arm.’
Why didn’t you stay out of the cave once you got out? Abby wanted to ask. But she knew the answer. Her heart swelled with pride. Abby hadn’t wanted to leave her friend alone and hurt by himself. As Mac had pointed out, she couldn’t change her daughter’s nature. And despite everything she had been through in the last hour or two, she wouldn’t change her daughter for the world.
Eventually, Emma closed her eyes, the exhaustion and the excitement of the last few hours catching up with her.
Abby reached for Mac’s hand as they watched her breathing deeply. To her surprise he didn’t pull away. Instead, he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed each finger tenderly.
‘My God, Abby. For a moment I thought I was going to lose you and Emma. Don’t ever do anything like that to me again.’ His voice was ragged.
‘Don’t want to have to train a new teammate?’ she said lightly.
‘I don’t want to lose the woman I love,’ Mac replied quietly.
Abby’s heart kicked against her ribs. He’d said he loved her. Did he mean as a friend or a lover? She had to know. Silently she waited for him to go on.
‘Two months ago I thought I was happy. I had a job I loved, a decent place to live where I could do the sports I enjoy whenever I wanted. It was a good life, a perfect life, until you walked into it.’
Abby couldn’t stop her smile. He sounded almost annoyed. But she knew his life had been empty of all that was important, even if he didn’t.
‘And then I found out I had a child. This child.’ He bent over and kissed Emma gently on the cheek. ‘At first I could hardly take it in. I didn’t want it to be true. Emma would be nothing except a duty and while I knew I couldn’t ignore my responsibilities, I never thought that she would become such an important part of my life. And as for you.’ He sighed. ‘You drove me insane almost from the moment I set eyes on you. Not just those cat eyes, or that mouth that just cries out to be kissed, or your body, which would make most women weep—those are the things that counted in my other life, but as I got to know you, I realised I was falling hard for you. And it frightened me.’ He half smiled. ‘That was a new one for me. I didn’t think I was scared of anything but I was. I was scared of being in love.’
A warm glow was spreading upwards from her toes and surrounding her heart like a blanket. But she still couldn’t be certain he was saying what she so desperately wanted to hear.
‘I thought if I took you to bed, that would break the spell. But I was wrong. If anything, I wanted more. I wanted nights and nights with you. I couldn’t imagine a time when I would no longer want you. Then you told me you loved me and that frightened me even more. What if I couldn’t live up to your expectations of me? What if I let you—and Emma—down? What if I turned out to be like my father? I’d be dragging you and Em down with me. I couldn’t do that. I tried to stay away from you, Abby. I wanted you to find someone else, even if the thought ripped me apart. And if it meant losing Emma, too, I knew the man you chose would be a good man. Someone who would love Emma the way she deserved.’
‘Do you still believe that? ‘ Abby clasped her hands together to stop herself from reaching out and pushing a wayward lock of hair out of his eyes. Didn’t he know that she would never love another man as long as she lived?
‘No. I don’t. I came close to losing you and Emma today. I knew then that I couldn’t let you go. I’m not strong enough to do that.’
Abby came and crouched by his side. Taking his hands in hers, she looked up into his eyes. ‘You are the strongest man I know, Mac. In the truest sense of the word. You are not your father. And even if you were I would still take my chances with you. I would rather have a tempestuous life with you than one without you.’
He stood up abruptly, forcing her to drop her hands. ‘But that’s not all. The lab that took our DNA for testing called today. That’s why I was on my way to see you.’
A tendril of fear curled around her heart. The look in Mac’s eyes told her something was far from right.
He lowered his voice. ‘Abby, Emma is not my child.’
‘What?’
‘Whatever Sara told you, Abby is not mine.’
Abby’s head was reeling. ‘But why did she say you were? ‘ As soon as she said the words she guessed the truth. Sara probably hadn’t been sure who the father was and that was why she hadn’t wanted to give Abby a name at first. But when she’d known she was going to die, she’d given Abby the name of the man she would have liked most to be the father of her child, Mac. Perhaps in her heart she had harboured a dream that once her child was born, she would go to Mac and persuade him Emma was his. They would never know.
‘Whoever the biological father of Emma is, it isn’t me.’
The pain and disappointment in his eyes shook her.
What now? What would he do? There was no reason for him to continue with the relationship. He would walk out of Emma’s life and what would that do to Emma?
‘Emma’s going to be devastated. She adores you. She’s so proud to call you her father.’
Mac’s jaw tightened. ‘No prouder than I was to think she was my daughter. And I love her.’ A small smile curled his lips. ‘I never thought the day would come when I’d say that.’ The smile faded from his eyes. ‘I don’t care what the test says. I don’t care who the biological father is. Damn it, Abby, Emma is my daughter. I don’t want to lose her.’ He looked away. Emma was still sleeping peacefully.
He reached out and took Abby’s hand and pulled her to her feet.
‘Come with me. There’s something I want to show you.’
‘But, Emma … I don’t want to leave her.’
‘She’ll be out for the count for an hour or two. We won’t be that long. I’ll ask them to bleep me the minute she wakes up.’
Abby hesitated.
‘Please, Abby.’
She couldn’t resist the appeal in his blue eyes. He was hurting.
She followed him out to the car park. He opened the door to his Jeep and helped her in.
‘I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me where you’re taking me?’ she said.
He smiled at her and her heart cracked. She loved him so much it hurt. She would have given anything for Emma to be his child.
They drove in silence, turning onto the track where Mac had taken her a few weeks earlier. Abby was baffled. As they drove they passed diggers and lorries. There was obviously work going on.
Mac helped Abby out of the car.
‘You and Emma are everything I wanted. I just didn’t know it. I love you both.’ He turned to Abby, pinning her with the intensity in his blue eyes. ‘I’m in love with you, Abby. I’m not good at finding the words, but I know I couldn’t bear to live without you. I want to wake up every morning with you beside me and I want yours to be the last face I see when I go to sleep. I want to live my life with you and Emma by my side. I want to have breakfast and dinner with you and Em, take you to Tiree to show you the place I grew up. The works.’
Abby’s heart started to pound.
‘I thought I could run from you. But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t let myself accept that I was falling for you.’ He smiled sadly. ‘Thinking I was a father was shock enough and even though it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me, I didn’t know if I could commit myself to a wife. All I knew was that I didn’t want to let you go.’
He gestured to the building site. ‘When you refused to let me build this house for you, I thought I would build it anyway. I began to realise that I was putting down roots. Then, when I was discussing the plans with the architect, I saw the little sitting room with you in it, looking out to sea, a book in your hand. The garden where you would grow your roses. The kitchen where we would eat, the bedroom where I would fall asleep with you in my arms and the starlight shining in the window. Everywhere I looked, there you were. You and Emma. My family. My heart. My reason for living.’
He reached out and tipped her chin so she was looking into his eyes. ‘Abby, I love you. I want you to marry me. I want you and Emma to be my family. I know she’s not my biological child and that one day she might want to find her real father, but until then, could you love me enough to spend the rest of your life with me?’
A frisson of joy was spreading through Abby’s body. Happiness swelled inside her. He loved her. But she had to be sure that this wasn’t his way of hanging onto Emma.
‘I’ll never stop you seeing Em, whatever the results of the test say, and as long as she wants you in her life, which, knowing Em, is going to be for ever. You do know that, Mac?’
He glared at her. ‘You don’t think I’m saying all this simply because of Em, do you?’ He smiled grimly. ‘I love you. Heart and soul. For ever. I want babies with you, to grow old with you. To laugh with you. Argue, too, if it comes to that.’ He pulled her into his arms. ‘I love you, Abby Stevens. Will you get that into your stubborn head?’
The blood was singing through her veins. The way he was looking at her left no doubt in her mind. She brought her face up to his. ‘For heaven’s sake, how long do I have to wait for my fiancé to kiss me, then?’
And then he was kissing her as if he would never let her go, and she knew at last they had both found the place they were meant to be.
* * *
Emma was just waking up when they tiptoed back into her cubicle. One look at their faces must have told her something was up.
‘Hey, what’s going on with you two?’ she asked.
Mac and Abby sat on the bed on either side of Emma, careful not to bump her injured arm.
‘We have two things to tell you. Both are surprises. The first you’re going to have to prepare yourself for, the second we think you’ll like.’
Emma eyed them warily. Then she broke into a wide smile. ‘I know what one of the surprises is,’ she said. ‘You two are getting married. Am I right?’
‘You are. But how did you guess?’ Abby said.
‘Grown-ups can be so silly,’ Emma said scornfully. ‘I knew you were in love ages ago. Anybody, even a kid like me.’ she slid Abby a mocking glance ‘.could see it a mile away. Even if you are old.’
Abby and Mac laughed. ‘Hey, we’re not that old,’ Mac protested. ‘There’s still a few years before we get really ancient.’
‘So you’re okay with us getting married?’ Abby asked.
There was no need for a reply. The smile that lit up Emma’s face was all the answer Abby needed. ‘I wished you would get married. Does that mean we’ll all live together? For ever? Like a real family? I’ll have my mum and my dad just like all the other children?’
Despite her happiness, Abby felt a chill. It was going to be a blow to Emma finding out Mac wasn’t her biological father.
‘Emma,’ Mac said, taking her hand. ‘I have something to tell you. But first I want you to know that I couldn’t love you more than I do now.’
The smile left Emma’s face. ‘What’s going on?’ she whispered. She clutched Abby’s hand again.
‘Remember that test we had? To prove I was your dad?’
‘When you and me went to the hospital?’
‘Yes, that one.’ He took a deep breath and Abby knew he was having difficulty finding the right words. ‘It turns out that I’m not your father. At least, I never made you.’
‘You mean it wasn’t your sperm with my real mummy’s eggs?’
Mac looked so shocked that Abby had to laugh. ‘I’ve always told Emma the truth. And it seemed silly to wait until some other child gave her the wrong information. Emma knows how babies are made. At least,’ she rushed on, in case Mac misunderstood, ‘the biological basis.’
Emma frowned. ‘I thought you said people made babies when they loved each other. But my real mum didn’t even know who my father was.’
Oh, dear. Abby thought. This was going to take some explaining …
Luckily Mac stepped in. ‘Your mum, Sara, was a kind, lovely person. But she was a little lonely. Sometimes people make babies because they want someone to love and look after. I think that’s why Sara made you. Whoever your real father is, your mother made you out of love.’
‘And you always have to remember that,’ Abby said softly. ‘She loved you more than anything in the world. So much she didn’t want to share you.’
‘But if Mac’s not my real dad.’ Emma’s lip trembled and tears spilled down her cheek ‘.then we’re not really a family.’
‘Emma, look at me,’ Mac said firmly. He waited until Emma turned her blue eyes to his. Abby’s throat tightened when she saw the trust there. ‘You and Abby are my family. I love you both more than anything in the world. I want to be your dad for as long as you’ll let me. I want to be the one who chases the boyfriends away, who picks you up from parties.’ His voice softened. ‘Who walks you up the aisle. We can carry on looking for your real dad, but if you let me, us.’ he turned to Abby ‘ … we want to adopt you, so you really belong to us. What do you say? ‘
Emma cuddled into Mac, snuggling deep into his arms. He stroked her hair, comforting her.
‘I say yes,’ Emma said. Then she pulled away and took hold of Abby’s hand, too. ‘So does that mean I can go to night-time parties now?’
EPILOGUE
ABBY stood by the window of her new home. In the sitting room, her mother and Mac’s were chatting ninety to the dozen, each trying to outdo the other. Mac’s mother had come down for the wedding and although she had grumbled about being away from Tiree almost constantly since she had got to Cornwall, Abby suspected she was pleased and touched that Mac had asked her to come to their wedding. Two more days then she’d be walking down the aisle with Mac, and she still couldn’t believe it.
She felt his arm slip around her waist and she leaned against him, savouring the warmth and security of his embrace.
‘Happy? ‘ he whispered into her ear.
She nodded. Two more days and he’d be coming to live with her and Emma. He had refused to move in before, saying he wanted to wait until after they married. The house was everything he had told her it would be. Although enormous windows captured the view from every side, it was still cosy.
‘You must come to Tiree to visit me,’ Mac’s mother was saying. ‘I don’t live in a grand house like this,’ she sniffed, but Abby was beginning to realise that she didn’t mean half of what she said, ‘or in London, where all the fancy people live, but my house is good enough for me.’
‘Your house is so sweet, Gran MacNeil,’ Emma protested. ‘I love it. Especially the chickens. And so is yours, Grandma Stevens,’ she added hastily.
Abby smiled. Emma was ever the diplomat. Whatever differences the two older women had with their own children, there was no doubt they doted on their grandchild. Indeed, they spent all their time trying to compete for her affection.
Behind her, she heard Mac stifle a laugh. He had learned to be tolerant of both parents. ‘At the very least,’ he had told Abby, ‘we both know how not to do it.’
Emma left the two o
ld women to their bickering and came to stand next to Abby. She was to be bridesmaid at their wedding and was barely able to control her excitement about having a brother or sister to boss around in a few months’ time. Mac reached across to pull her into the circle of his embrace.
‘My two best girls,’ he said. ‘My daughter and my wife-to-be.’ Mac and Abby had formally adopted Emma. His voice turned serious. ‘Have I told you both that I consider myself to be the luckiest man alive?’
Emma giggled. ‘Only all the time. You’re so sad, Dad.’
He placed a proprietorial hand on Abby’s stomach, where her body was just beginning to swell with her pregnancy.
‘No, not that. Not any more.’
Abby raised her face to his. She never got over seeing her love reflected in his eyes.
‘I have the best life,’ Emma sighed happily. ‘The best life. That’s what we have. No one could be luckier.’
Together they watched as the sun melted into the sea.
All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all the incidents are pure invention.
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