by Ali Parker
But Mason didn’t even look like he was listening. He grunted wordlessly, still studying the pool table like he was figuring out his next move, picking absently at the label on his beer.
I took a deep breath. “It wasn’t that I didn’t need you. Or that I didn’t want you. There’s so much chemistry between us; don’t think I don’t feel that. The other night was incredible. But you showing up at the farm today, that took me by surprise.”
The tension there between him and his brother Ted was no surprise, I’d experienced that for myself, but I hadn’t expected Ted to fire him, no more than he had, I was sure. And then, to have Mason turn to me, of all people, like I was the most important thing in his world, even more important than his family, that had been a lot to take in.
Mason made a noise of disbelief, finally turning to face me. “I showed up at your farm today because I needed you,” he said. “Everyone else is against me. I went to you, and you turned me away.” He gave me a bitter, wry smile. “I guess there’s nothing more to say.”
“I want to make things right,” I said. “I do need you. I just want to make sure you’re there for the right reasons. Not just because you like me or want to have sex with me.”
“You really think that it’s just about sex?” Mason asked, his eyebrows shooting up towards his hairline. “Jesus Christ, Abi, if I just wanted sex, there are twenty other women in town who would have been easier.”
Flinching as though he had slapped me, I quickly tried to control my expression. I knew he had fooled around before he met me, but I never expected him to reference it so boldly to my face. “Maybe you would be better off with someone else then,” I said, trying to keep the hurt from my voice. I thought he understood me, thought he knew what I needed. I had thought that was why we clicked so well when we’d finally actually had sex.
Mason gave me a dirty look. “Yeah, I got your message loud and clear,” he said. “You’d be better off if I found someone else, wouldn’t you? Because it’s you and Gavin, right?”
“What?” I asked, actually flabbergasted.
“Oh come on, I saw the two of you,” Mason said, rolling his eyes. “I only came down here because Luke told me you were really upset. Only then I came in the front door and saw you laughing with Gavin and your brother.”
“They were trying to cheer me up, that’s all,” I said. “If you honestly believe that after the night we shared together, I could go on to another guy so quickly, you don’t know me at all.”
Mason stared at me for a long moment. I could see his face soften slightly, but then he looked away again.
“You thought I was just in it for sex,” he said. “How do I know that’s not what it was for you? Maybe you weren’t even a virgin at all.”
I felt tears prick my eyes. “I didn’t lie to you, not about that,” I whispered.
There was another silence, both of us hurting. I felt him slipping further and further away from me, and I tried frantically to figure out what to say to him. “I need you,” I told him. “I’ll never be able to pull off saving the farm without you. But that’s only part of it. I can’t deny how much I like you. I’ve tried to. With everything with Ella, I tried to keep from getting involved. But I just couldn’t help myself.”
Mason sighed when he looked back at me. “So what, all of this is you trying to keep away from me? What have I done to deserve that?”
“I’m just scared,” I admitted. “I keep trying to push you away because I don’t want you to start pushing me away. If that makes any sense at all.” I paused, taking a deep breath. “Like I said, I’m not experienced in this kind of stuff. Not like you are. You have to give me some time to figure things out. I need you to be patient with me.”
“And I need you to trust me,” Mason said, rubbing a hand over his face. “If you keep trying to push me away, eventually it’s going to work.”
“I know,” I said. “I know I need to trust you. That you’re not trying to hurt me. But there just seems to be some sort of disconnect between my brain and my mouth. I’m sorry.”
Mason smiled crookedly at me. It wasn’t a full-blown smile, but I could tell that he at least partially forgave me for what I’d said earlier. It made me feel bold enough to say what I said next. “Mason, I want you to make things right with your brother. But I also, however selfish it might be to say this, want to make things right between us.”
That really got Mason’s attention. He stared at me for a long time, and I held my breath, wondering what he would say. If he turned away from me right then, I wasn’t sure that I could keep from crying, even if it meant crying right there in the bar, where everyone in town would know.
But he didn’t shut me down. Instead, he sighed and ran a hand back through his hair. “I made a promise to you,” he said. “I told you that I was going to help with this harvest festival. And whatever Jeff and Gavin are helping with, neither of them has ever really worked a farm before. You need me.”
“I need you,” I echoed, almost breathless with the desire to tell him just how much.
“I have at least a few more days off, until everything is resolved with Ted,” Mason continued. “We might as well take advantage of it. We could probably finish up the corn maze, and maybe get those refreshment stands built. I’ve got a couple other ideas as well.”
It was almost like nothing was wrong, and the normalcy brought tears to my eyes. I’d really thought that I’d lost him. “Please,” I said. It was the only word I could form at the moment. The only thing I could say.
Mason nodded at me. He was still cool and reserved, our relationship only a shadow of how it had been the other night. I knew I had a long way to go before he fully forgave me, before he gave in to the pull of the connection between us. But for now, it was enough.
I moved to pull him into my arms, so thankful that I hadn’t messed everything up between us. He clearly hadn’t forgiven me yet, not entirely, but we were closer to that. At least he would talk to me again. But when I tried to hug him, he took a step away, shaking his head. “No,” he said. “There’s still too much work for us to do still.”
My chest constricted. “Too much work to do,” I echoed. I knew he didn’t mean on the farm, either. He wasn’t talking about the harvest festival and the zombie haunt. He meant that there was too much work between us.
I swallowed hard. Things weren’t going to be like they were before, with Mason’s easy smiles and affectionate ways. I was going to have to work for everything that I got, from now on. Was I prepared to do that?
One look into his eyes, though, and I knew the answer was yes. I was ready to do whatever it took. I still felt heartbroken, a deep ache in my chest, but maybe we could work it out somehow. I could only hope so.
Chapter 25
Mason
On Saturday morning, I still woke up before dawn, my body insisting I get ready for breakfast and for a day out on the ranch.
But I didn’t work for the ranch anymore.
I swallowed hard as the reality hit me, in a way that it hadn’t the previous day. Immediately, I reached over to the bedside table, there at the Dew Drop Inn, and grabbed my sketch pad. There were a couple things about the corn maze that I didn’t like, the more we completed of it. There were a couple places where I hadn’t realized the extent of the damage that the tractor had done to the fields.
Drawing up a couple quick sketches, I drank a pot of terrible hotel coffee, and then, still before 8am, headed over to the Brock family farm.
I paused when I pulled up outside the house. The place was still quiet, the lights all turned off. I clicked my teeth in impatience. We had things to do on the farm. We would open for business with the zombie haunt in what seemed like no time at all. Everyone should be up and working by now.
Grinning to myself, I realized that my inner voice had taken on a decidedly Ted-like tone. But the grin was tinged with sadness. I wondered if I was ever going to be able to make things right with my brother. It wasn’t about my grovel
ing to get my position back, though. I needed to know that he appreciated me as well.
Shaking my head, I got out of my truck, walking quickly to the front door. I rang the bell, but when no one answered, I ended up letting myself in.
I wandered up to Abi’s room, led by the glittering sign on her door. I knocked, but there was no answer. Slowly, I pushed the door open with my toe, peeking inside. She was just starting to stir in bed, and for a moment I was frozen in shock.
She looked beautiful, angelic, and so innocent. Her hair fanned out over the pillowcase, and the golden light spilling through the window just barely kissed her cheeks. She made a soft noise of protest but yawned and stretched herself awake, blinking over at me.
Then, she sat bolt upright, pulling the sheets up to her chest. I realized then that she was fully naked, her sheet the only thing between me and her breasts. It made me think of the other night, but now wasn’t the time for that. I cleared my throat roughly and held up my sketchpad. “We’ve got a lot of work to do today,” I reminded her. “Up and at ‘em.”
Abi stared at me for a moment longer, while I retreated from her room. Then, she gave a quick nod. By the time I had shut her door, I could hear her moving about the room.
What I wouldn’t give to toss the door open and take her naked body in my arms. We had meshed together so well the other night, her body against mine. I wanted to kiss her all over again, to taste the unique flavor of her skin and to thrust inside of her.
I shook my head and headed for the kitchen, feeling embarrassed. This wasn’t what I had come here for.
In the kitchen, I whipped up a quick breakfast, nodding at Gavin and Jeff, who came down a few minutes before Abi did. “God, you’re freakishly awake for this hour,” Jeff complained.
I laughed. “I’ve been waking up before dawn for most of my life,” I told him.
Both of them shook their heads, like I was some sort of marvel.
When Abi finally bustled into the kitchen, she was all business, a stack of printouts in her hands. “All right, what we really need right now is the workers,” she said. “I’ve printed out the most promising resumes, but there are a lot of them. Maybe if we all went through them in stacks of five, picking out the best candidates, we could actually figure things out.”
“Perfect,” I said, noting the way she straightened slightly at my praise.
She didn’t act like someone who didn’t want me around, when I really thought about it. I knew there was a lot that we needed to talk about. But I didn’t want to do it in front of her brother and his friend. Maybe after a few days of working together, though, things would be better between the two of us.
“I think I could recruit Luke, too, if we needed someone extra on a few of the nights,” I told Abi. “There are a few other guys around town who owe me favors, too.”
“I love the way your mind works,” Abi said, enthusiastically. “I’d like to get a good core group of people who were committed to working for us, but it would be great to have a few backup people as well in case things got busier than expected.”
We continued going through the pile of resumes until lunch time, at which point Gavin and Jeff disappeared to go set up the pumpkin patch studio. They had their first shoot that afternoon, just a trial one and unpaid, but it was still a big deal. Things were really starting to come together.
Abi caught my arm as I was preparing to leave. “Did you go back home?” she asked.
I sighed and shook my head. “No,” I admitted. “But honestly, I don’t really want to talk about it.”
Abi looked taken aback. “Oh,” she said in a quiet voice. “But you’re happy staying at the Dew Drop Inn?”
“It’s not like I have any choice at the moment,” I snapped. “Although I was thinking that maybe, if this is the way things are going to be, I might look for an apartment.” I shrugged. “The thing is, though, I’m not exactly pulling a paycheck right now, so unless Ted has a change of heart and begs me to come back, I’m probably not going to be sticking around much longer.”
Abi bit her lower lip. “Right,” she said, her voice barely audible. “I suppose it wouldn’t help if I told you that our guest house is open right now? I mean, it’s not much, it’s just up above the barn. Nothing fancy. But it’s where our hands always stayed, and I suppose that with the way you’re helping out with the zombie haunt, you’ve got as much right to it as anyone else.”
I stared at her for a long moment. “Isn’t Gavin staying up there?” I finally asked, unable to keep the bitter note out of my voice. I knew she had said the previous night that she and Gavin weren’t doing anything, but I still couldn’t help feeling jealous of him being there when I wasn’t, for having some tie to Abi and her family that I would never have.
“Gavin’s staying up in my brother’s room,” Abi told me. “Not Jeff’s room, the one my older brothers used to share. There’s no one in the guest house right now.” She paused, “It could be really perfect for you. I know you want to be alone right now, but you’d still be close enough to working here that you wouldn’t have to worry about the commute. And I’d like having you close.”
She said the last like it was a confession. I stared at her for a moment, watching as she blushed. “But it’s just if you’re interested,” she said.
“It sounds good,” I said, my tone a bit grudging. I was worried that if I started living there, things would end up just like they had at home. But I knew Abi wouldn’t place demands that she knew I couldn’t follow through with. Neither would Jeff or Gavin.
“Why don’t I show it to you?” Abi suggested.
“Okay, sure,” I said, following her out into the yard and towards the barn.
“You know, I really didn’t mean it. What I said yesterday morning,” Abi said. “I really do want you here. I need you here. Gavin and Jeff are great, but their focus is more—single-minded. Jeff knows the photography stuff, and Gavin knows the marketing and customer service stuff. But you actually seem to get things done. I need you to balance out the rest of us.”
I didn’t say anything as she led me up to the loft. The stairs creaked, and the loft was a little rundown. The wallpaper was peeling, and the whole place smelled like hay. It was cozy, though, with a big bed over on one side, stretched beneath big, shuttered windows. And there was everything else I could need. A dresser, a bookshelf, and even a record player.
“I know it needs a good cleaning,” Abi piped up, running her finger over the top of the dresser and coming away with a layer of dust. “But we’d do all of that, I promise. We could have it ready for you by the evening.” She tugged a sheet off the bed, shaking it out. “At least the bed is clean.”
“How much do you want for it?” I asked.
Abi stared blankly at me. “What?” she asked.
“For rent,” I said, frowning at her.
She shook her head. “With all the work you’re doing? No way. We’ve never charged rent for this. Like I said, the hands normally live up here; it’s included in their board.”
“I’m not just some hand,” I reminded her. And there was something about being compensated, in any way that rankled me, after everything with Ted. The last thing I needed was for her to turn around and proclaim that she was my boss and had the right to fire me whenever. I wasn’t ready to go through with that again.
“But you’re doing so much already,” Abi protested. “It wouldn’t be right for me to charge you rent on top of that.”
“I’m good on money, though,” I said. “Besides, if I was staying at the Dew Drop Inn, I’d be paying. Make my cost here lower than that and I’ve got a good deal.”
“Are you sure?” Abi asked, uncertainly.
“If you’re really worried, consider it my donation towards the production costs,” I said.
“But I should be paying you, though, for everything you’re doing,” Abi fretted.
I shrugged, looking her seriously in the eyes. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be here,�
�� I said.
Abi ducked her head, looking up at me through her lashes. “It’ll be good to have you around more,” she said shyly. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” I admitted. It was a silly thing really, we’d only been apart for one night. But I couldn’t help thinking about how much I’d like to hold her. To remind me that everything was going to work out, somehow.
Abi bit her lower lip, taking a step closer to me. “I was afraid that I had lost you,” she told me. “I thought I had screwed things up forever.”
Sighing, I took a step closer to her, finally pulling her into my arms as I’d been wanting to do. “You’re not going to lose me,” I told her, my voice quiet but firm.
“Everything I was trying to say came out all wrong, though,” Abi continued, sounding close to tears. “I hurt you and I didn’t think you were ever going to forgive me.”
“We all make mistakes,” I told her, leaning my cheek against her hair. “And anyway, I could tell you didn’t really mean what you were saying. You were just as upset as I was. I was never really mad at you at all, I was just taking out my frustration towards Ted on you. And that wasn’t fair.”
“I know,” Abi said. “And I never really meant that I didn’t need you here.” She paused and took a deep breath. “To be honest, I was just scared. It was all so much, so quickly. I shouldn’t have panicked the way that I did, but having you tell me that all of this was more important to you than what you have with your family, that was a lot. Especially given the other night.”
I lightly stroked her cheek, suddenly understanding exactly where the miscommunication had occurred. “I’m sorry,” I said sincerely. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I know this is all new to you.” I paused. “But you have to know that you mean a lot to me. Like I said before, my aim in all of this is to get you to stay.”
“I know,” Abi said. She trailed her fingers up my shirt. “And I like the idea of that, if I’m being honest.” She looked sharply up at my face. “I’m not making any promises. I don’t know what I’ll do after the harvest is over. But before everything went bad during lunch with your family, I really enjoyed getting to know them, working together to get the meal on the table. There’s a really nice sense of community here. Something I’ve been missing back home.”