by Rinelle Grey
The words came out clearly, but as they left her mouth they took the last of her self-control with them. She burst into tears.
There was a stunned silence.
“Rubbish.” Mianna’s face was firm. “You’re scared of loving him, but it’s obvious to anyone who saw the two of you together that you’re in love. I could see it even when you were trolls.”
Kriss stumbled back, shaking her head. “No… I…”
It hit her in the chest like an arrow.
And even then, she tried to deny it.
She couldn’t love Jasyn. He wasn’t her type at all. She’d seen from the beginning that he wasn’t tough or strong. Not physically. And there was no way she was going to risk her heart on someone that could up and die on her.
Except that she had.
He was tough in the ways that she’d always wanted to be. He stood up for what he believed in. He fought for it. He never let fear stand in his way, even if he was physically weak.
That was something she could admire.
Someone she could love.
And now he was gone.
A loud keening filled the air, and she realised the sound was coming from her own lips. She dropped her head into her hands. Gulping sobs overwhelmed her, her whole body shaking with emotion.
She felt hands on her shoulders, arms around her waist, and this time they weren’t heavy. They lent her strength.
Strength to cry as though her life depended on it.
As though she was never going to stop.
She had been so stupid, wasting all those years she and Jasyn had shared. How could she have let him die thinking she didn’t love him?
The tears intensified until Kriss was sure she was going to die. That was how it worked, wasn’t it? The pain of losing him would kill her.
No, she wasn’t going to die like that. If this was going to kill her, which she no longer doubted, then she was going to die remembering the good moments they had shared. The joy of watching Yass and Uma’s twins hunting with their favourite uncle. The excitement at each new plant they managed to nurture into fruiting. The satisfaction of seeing the trolls changing under their shared rule.
And the passion of that one night they had shared.
The pain grew worse, but the sobs lessened. It was a real pain now, one that she was no longer trying to deny.
She lifted her tearstained face and her eyes sought out Mianna. “You’re right, I do love Jasyn. So why am I still alive?”
“Because Jasyn isn’t dead.”
Kriss’s heart skipped a beat.
“What?” Brianna demanded.
“There was no way he survived,” Lyall said firmly.
Mianna folded her arms. “You explain it then.” When no one spoke up, she continued. “When I thought Brianna was dead, I felt awful. But the moment I realised that I didn’t want to die, that I didn’t feel the slightest need to die, was when I realised that she had to be still alive. It’s the only explanation,” she insisted.
“But how?”
Kriss wanted to believe it. She desperately wanted to believe there was a chance Jasyn was still alive. But it didn’t seem possible.
“They do have a mage,” Lyall said thoughtfully.
“And all the damage was physical, not magical,” Brianna added.
“Why would they heal him though?” Terion asked.
The answer was blindingly obvious to Kriss.
“Because now they have a hostage.”
22
Magic Ties
Kriss wavered between the hope that Jasyn was still alive and the despair that his continued existence would be the one thing preventing them from rescuing him. Because there was no way she was going to agree to any kind of raid if Jasyn could get killed.
Brianna, Lyall, Kriss and the others considered many possible solutions, and discarded them one by one. In the meantime, the warriors set up camp, pitched tents, and lit fires. Someone brought Kriss a bowl of food. She had no idea what it was, but her practical, warrior side ate it automatically.
“We might have stood a chance at getting in before I redesigned all Eryvale’s defences,” Brianna said eventually. “But with the wall and towers, the clearing between the wall and the forest, and the magical barrier created by the gem, there’s no way to get inside without someone knowing.”
“There’s the back door that you used when we had your village surrounded,” Lyall reminded her. “We could sneak in that way.”
Brianna nodded. “We could get a small force in that way,” she agreed. “But a small force isn’t going to be of much use against a mage. And we don’t know how many people Mugos has working with him. We need more information for a precise attack if we’re to have any chance at success.”
“If only we knew what we were up against,” Lyall said in frustration. “If they didn’t have the gems, we could spy on them magically. But there’s no way through the barrier.”
“That’s what it was designed for,” Mianna reminded him. “Otherwise you would have realised we were there, even from Isla de Magi. But the barrier stopped anyone from ever getting in.”
“Actually, it didn’t,” Brianna said.
“What do you mean?” Lyall demanded.
“Remember when you were trying to teach me magic and I zoned out?”
Lyall frowned. “I do. You shifted into the astral and it surprised you.”
“It surprised me because I didn’t just shift. I ended up in Eryvale.”
“What?” Lyall’s stared at her. “That’s not possible.”
Brianna turned to her twin. “I never asked, but did you talk to me that night—your wedding night? Or was I imagining it?”
“I thought I was dreaming. That I must have made up conversation I would have had with you if you’d been there.” Mianna’s voice shook. “You mean that was really you?” Tears filled her eyes.
Brianna stepped forwards and enfolded her twin in a hug. “It was really me.”
When Mianna pulled back and wiped away the tears, Brianna turned back to Lyall.
He was shaking his head. “It’s not possible. I tried passing through the field astrally and there’s no way. There’s no magic inside, how could you be there in magical form?”
“It must be because of the twin bond,” Brianna said firmly. “Somehow it allowed me to connect with Mianna, even though she was inside the field. It probably works the same way with the marriage bond.”
“That means we only have to get one of us in there and we can all see,” Lyall’s voice sounded hopeful, then it fell. “Even if one of us could sneak in there, it’s too dangerous. The risk of giving Mugos another hostage is too great.”
“I’ll go,” Brianna volunteered. When Lyall scowled, she put her hands on her hips. “We have to do something. We have no idea what is going on in there. Everyone in Eryvale is in danger.”
“And I won’t let you put yourself in danger to save them.” The two of them glared at each other.
Mianna put up her hands. “There has to be another way.”
“There is,” Kriss spoke up. “Jasyn is already there.”
Lyall snapped his fingers. “Of course he is. Brianna, do you think you can explain to Kriss how to do what you did that night?”
“Maybe,” Brianna said doubtfully. “I don’t really know what I did though. I was trying to do the mental exercise you had explained to me, clearing my mind and thinking of nothing, but I couldn’t. Instead I started thinking about Mianna, wondering what she was doing and whether the restless feeling I had was because of her. Then I was just there.”
Lyall’s brow furrowed. “You didn’t travel the space in between?”
Brianna shook her head. “I wasn’t aware of it. One moment I was on Isla de Magi, the next I was in Mianna’s room.”
“Maybe that’s why the barrier didn’t affect you,” Lyall guessed. “You didn’t go through it, you linked directly with Mianna.” He turned to Kriss. “Do you think you can try that? Think ab
out Jasyn, and see if you can link directly to him?”
Kriss was doubtful. “I don’t know anything about magic. Jasyn tried to teach me, but none of it made sense. I couldn’t do any of it.”
“Neither could I,” Brianna encouraged. “You can still give it a go.”
“In fact, not knowing anything about magic will probably help,” Lyall said. “Because otherwise, you would be trying to do things the way you always have, and this doesn’t seem to work that way.”
“I’ll try,” Kriss said.
She sat down by the campfire and closed her eyes.
“Now think about Jasyn,” Brianna said. “Try to imagine what he’s doing right now. What he’s feeling, maybe.”
Thinking about Jasyn was easy. Kriss hadn’t stopped thinking about him since he’d walked towards Mugos and agreed to a fight.
It was still hard to believe that the troll who had been so frightened of her brothers had stepped forwards without hesitation when Mugos challenged him. Jasyn had come a long way since that day. She was so proud of him.
Was he still alive? That was her real question. Mianna seemed to think he was, but Kriss found it hard to believe. Mugos wasn’t the type to show mercy to anyone. Especially when that someone had caused him as much trouble as Jasyn had.
“Can you see anything?” Brianna asked.
“Shh,” Lyall interrupted.
Kriss needed to focus. She took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. Jasyn. An image of him filled her mind. As a troll first, then as a human. She focused on the troll, the way he looked when she last saw him.
The image smiled at her. That gentle, lopsided smile she’d come to know so well. It melted her heart. How had she not realised she was in love with him?
No, that wasn’t helping. She needed to focus on finding him.
She tried to think about where he was now. Somewhere in the village. Was he still wounded? Was he even alive?
This was pointless. Opening her eyes she said, “I can’t do this.”
“Yes you can,” Brianna encouraged. “Try again. Just think about your connection to Jasyn.”
Kriss sighed and closed her eyes again. Her connection with Jasyn. What did that mean? It wasn’t like they had anything in common. They were so different. Maybe that was why she loved him. He was everything she wasn’t, and that helped to bring out the best in her. Whenever she saw fighting as the only option, he thought of an alternative. He helped her see the things she’d never noticed before.
And he helped her feel safe.
The thought blew her away. She’d spent her whole life thinking that loving someone was a risk. And right now, when her worst fear came true and Jasyn was captured by the enemy and was in danger of dying, she still felt safe.
When she knew he loved her, death wasn’t so scary anymore.
Did that mean he really was still alive? Surely she wouldn’t feel like this if he was dead.
If that was the case, she needed to focus on finding him.
Thinking about him was just distracting her. She needed to do something different. She tried to sense the magic, as Jasyn had shown her. Without opening her eyes, Kriss could see the colours swirling around her. A few steps away, she could see the rainbow of colours that were the four mages.
But that wasn’t what she was looking for. She focused on her own magic, looking for anything there that might be her bond with Jasyn. The magic glowed and pulsed around her, but didn’t extend more than a hand span from her own body. There was no convenient string that might lead her to Jasyn.
Kriss sighed. So much for that idea. Instead, she tried making an image of Jasyn out of the magic. It occupied her for a minute, but she never had been much of an artist so the image looked more like a misshapen rabbit than Jasyn. She let it go and the magic slid back into nothingness.
What was she going to do then? She was their one hope of connecting with Jasyn and finding out what Mugos had planned, and she was failing. If only she’d paid more attention to Jasyn when he was trying to teach her. She didn’t know how to do this.
Why wouldn’t her mind be still and quiet? Why did it keep rambling like this? She was getting nowhere.
Kriss tried to focus. Jasyn? she said in her mind. Are you there?
There was no reply. She hadn’t actually expected one.
After a few more moments of focused concentration, she gave up. “I can’t do it,” she said to the others. “I’m sorry.”
Brianna started to say something, but Lyall spoke first. “We’ve had a long day and everyone is exhausted. We should rest, then try again.”
It wasn’t going to make any difference, but Kriss didn’t have any other ideas. She knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight, but she lay down next to the campfire along with the others anyway. At some point, her eyes closed.
She wasn’t sure how much later it was when she stirred. The fire had died down, and it was dark. Apparently she’d slept. How could she have slept at a time like this?
Had Jasyn been able to get any sleep, wherever he was? She hoped so. He was going to need it. He was right there in the middle of things, frustrated that he couldn’t do anything to help, and worried about her.
What? How did she know that?
Kriss stilled her breathing and opened her mind.
Jasyn was right there, just out of reach. She could feel it. She could almost hear him breathing.
Relief and happiness welled up in her, and tears pricked her eyes.
Jasyn?
Nothing.
Are you there?
Still nothing.
She could sense him, but nothing more. She hadn’t gone to where he was like Brianna had described. And until she did, she couldn’t communicate with him.
Now that she knew he was alive and that she could sense him, the rest would be easy, wouldn’t it?
Kriss sat there, concentrating as hard as she could, but nothing changed.
Slowly the others began to wake up around her. They talked in low whispers, but that was enough to distract Kriss. She gave up her attempt and joined them.
“We need to go in,” Brianna said quietly. “The longer we wait, the more time they have to prepare for us.”
Lyall glanced over at Kriss, then turned back to Brianna. “I agree. But we need a plan. We can’t just rush in with our swords out.”
Brianna’s face fell. It was plain that’s just what she had been thinking. Kriss didn’t blame her. It would have been her plan too.
“What can we do?” Kriss asked. “How can we make plans when we don’t know what we’re up against?”
“You know Mugos better than we do,” Brianna said. “What do you think he’s doing?”
Kriss frowned. “This isn’t like any situation he’s ever been in,” she said. “Usually he just fights, then goes home and feasts. He doesn’t do things like this. There’s never been any need for it.”
Lyall sighed. “We’re starting from nothing then.”
“Not quite nothing,” Brianna said. “We know he’s a troll, and we know he’s happy to set traps and use people as hostages. Since he has Jasyn, we have to assume he’s going to use him as a hostage.”
“Otherwise he would have killed Jasyn by now,” Kriss said quietly. “In fact, I’m surprised that he didn’t. It’s not like him at all.”
“That’s probably Oriana’s influence,” Lyall said. “From what I know, it’s exactly her kind of tactic.”
“We have to expect them to use Jasyn,” Brianna said. “And we need to know exactly what we’re going to do when they do. If we hesitate, we could lose everything.”
They were all looking at Kriss. “What?” she demanded.
“We need to know what to do, if they try to use Jasyn as leverage once we get there,” Lyall said quietly. “Jasyn already made his position clear by staying and fighting Mugos while we escaped. I’m pretty sure he’d tell us to attack regardless. But I need to know what you think.”
She’d already made that decisi
on once. Why did he think she’d change her mind now?
“We need to…”
Her voice broke. She couldn’t do it. How could she agree to sacrifice Jasyn in order to destroy Mugos and save the village? The truth was, they had no choice. One person’s life wasn’t worth sacrificing everyone else. Not in the grand scheme of things.
For her though…
She dropped her head in her hands. “I can’t do it,” she whispered.
Brianna put her arm around Kriss’s shoulder. “You don’t have to,” she said firmly. “We’ll find another way.”
What other way? Mugos had kept Jasyn alive for just this reason, to use his life against them. If they tried to protect Jasyn, others could die instead. And what right did she have to prioritise Jasyn’s life over everyone else’s?
“No,” she said. She looked up at the others, trying not to see the pity in their eyes. “No, you have to save the village. Jasyn would want that. Save him if you can, but not at the expense of everyone else.”
“That means you will die as well,” Lyall said softly.
Kriss took a deep breath. “I know. That’s why I have to stay here. You need to do this without me.”
Her proposition was met with silence. Finally, Lyall nodded. “We will do our best to bring him home to you, Kriss. I promise.”
Tears filled her eyes. She had no doubt he spoke the truth. “Thank you,” she said.
Kriss felt strangely distant as the mages continued talking over their plans. She had nothing to contribute. She couldn’t even face the fact that they were going. At least their plan seemed decent: splitting up the army, sending the main force in the front as a decoy and a smaller force in the back gate. Brianna’s knowledge of the village layout could be the difference between success and failure.
Someone brought Kriss food and she picked at it. No need to force herself to eat when she wasn’t going into battle. No need to force herself to do anything.
She could just sit here and wait for it all to be over.