I’d always thought it was best for me to satisfy my physical needs with shifters because I can’t get them pregnant, since I’m not a mate, and they don’t usually want emotional attachments, which would interfere with my ability to keep Dragon safe.
When Vivian and I started spending time together we thought it would just be casual, but the more we saw of each other we realized it was becoming emotional. Instead of parting ways like most shifters would have, we allowed our feelings to grow and moved in together. We eventually ended the relationship but remained good friends who occasionally have sex together.”
I’d kept my head down while he talked hiding the tears as they ran down my face, but now I looked up and met his concerned gaze. “Did you love her? Have the two of you had sex recently? Since the bombing?” My voice was shakier than I liked, revealing too much of what I was feeling inside.
For years he’d been trying to get me to date him and each time he’d asked I buried how I felt about him and told him no. Since the night of the bombing when he kissed me for the first time and the passion we shared later that night, the floodgates had been open. I couldn’t stop seeing him as mine no matter how dangerous those thoughts might be to my career or to my heart.
“I cared deeply for Vivian, I still do but it’s different now. I always knew what we had was temporary. Even when we were together she longed to find her mate, and I couldn’t blame her because I still dreamed of finding someone I could make my anai. I think that’s why I held back, why I didn’t let myself fall in love with her.”
He looked away before answering the rest. When his eyes came back to mine silver sparks danced around the edges. “I hadn’t had sex with Vivian, or anyone else for that matter, since the day I met you more than six years ago, not until the night of the bombing with you. And I haven’t been with anyone since then.”
My lips parted and I sat there stunned. Rook was gorgeous, almost irresistible with his strong muscular body, his long ebony hair, and the air of confidence and danger he exuded like he knew he could handle anything life threw at him. I’d seen the way other women looked at him and there were a lot of women to choose from here at Myths and Legends. He could have had a hundred women in the last six years, more if he’d wanted.
He slid across the couch closer to me and cupped the sides of my face with his hands. His eyes were endless pools of silver stars as he leaned down and brushed his lips over mine. It was a soft caress followed by a slow sweep of his tongue. Then another gentle touch and the sensual slide of his tongue against mine. He tasted like Heaven, or what I imagined Heaven should taste like. As our tongues twined and our lips moved together my arms came up around his neck and his hands held the sides of my face like I was a precious treasure. Desire burned through me, dampened the soft flesh between my legs, but that wasn’t what this kiss was about. This kiss was about two hearts longing to be together as one.
When our lips finally parted he rested his forehead against mine with his eyes still closed and whispered, “Every time I’ve seen you, or even thought of you over the years, I’ve prayed to the Goddess for a way to make you my anai. But even when I thought that wasn’t a possibility I knew there would never be another woman who could make me feel the way you do.”
“Rook, I...”
He pulled back and put his finger over my lips. “Don’t say anything Angela. I know you’re not ready and I’m willing to wait as long as you need me to.” He kissed my forehead and sat back with pure silver eyes.
There were so many things I wanted to say, but he was right, I couldn’t give him what he wanted to hear, not yet, maybe not ever. It felt like giving in to him would mean saying goodbye to everything I’d ever thought was important in my life.
“You’re right, I don’t think I’m ready for this, but I do need to ask; what does anai mean? And why was it so important to Kaleb that I was yours?”
He scrubbed his hands over his face before he answered. “Anai for my people is the same as mate for shapeshifters. It’s interchangeable meaning if you were my anai I would be yours too. There isn’t a separate word for male and female like husband and wife. But unlike shapeshifters we can choose our anai; we’re not bound to one perfect mate chosen by fate.
The problem is; that we can only choose someone to be our anai if that person can travel through time with us. That narrows the choices down to a few thousand time demons and the rare beings like you that we occasionally come across. I told Kaleb and Danarius you are my anai because if you were, you and your family would be protected as part of my family.”
“So basically you told them I was your wife.” Just saying that out loud sent a thrill through my body and I shivered.
His perceptive eyes noticed but without commenting he said, “Essentially, but the connection between anai is deeper than humans could ever imagine. The bonding takes place in the ether between times where souls are left bare, unprotected by their bodies and once two souls are bound as anai they can never be separated again.”
“How did Danarius know that we don’t share that bond when Kaleb just took our word for it?”
“Kaleb is young, and half human. He wouldn’t know how to tell if I was lying about the bond, that’s why he asked you for confirmation. Danarius knew because he’d be able to sense the bond if it was there. He’s very old and very powerful.”
“Is that why you were so worried when you found out he had Rachel?” I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs.
“Yes. He’s Travali’s new second in command, but in most ways he’s far more dangerous than Travali will ever be. Danarius is all about business. He doesn’t let his emotions get the better of him like Travali does. Take the fight on the beach between Dragon and Travali for example. Travali was fueled by his anger and need for revenge. Dragon had recently fought his old second, Malachi, in The Pit and burned him alive after ripping his limbs from his body.”
I gasped at the graphic description and the thought that the charming, debonair Donovan Drake could be so brutal.
Rook snorted. “If you had seen what he did to Serafina before I reset time to undo the damage you wouldn’t be so shocked about his gruesome demise. Believe me, he didn’t suffer nearly enough. But Malachi had been Travali’s lover for hundreds of years and that’s why he took Serafina that night. Had Dragon been in his right mind when they fought he could have easily taken Travali. But Dragon wasn’t any better off than the vampire with Serafina screaming in the background and her pain flowing through their bond.
I’ve seen both of them fight when they’re focused and they’re both deadly. But that night their emotions just ran too high. If Danarius had been there in Travali’s place, Dragon would have lost, because Danarius wouldn’t have let his emotions get the better of him.”
I shook my head. “You keep making casual references to time like a few decades are nothing more than a week or hundreds of years could pass without you even noticing. Just how old are you Rook?”
His lips curved into a small smile. “I was born on our sacred day, the thirteenth day of the thirteenth year during the thirteenth century.”
I swallowed hard while my eyes roamed over his handsome face that appeared to be in its mid-thirties. “So you’re saying you were born on January 13, 1213?” I asked to clarify.
His smile widened when he nodded and my eyes got even bigger somehow. “Yes, that was the date of my birth.”
“Wow.” That didn’t even begin to cover it. “Are all of you around here that old?”
He laughed and still smiling said, “I’m sorry but you should see your face.” My face grew hot and he shook his head. “No we’re not all that old, but I’m not even the oldest. There are many people here in the resort that are much older than I am. Take Claire for example, as Dragons mother she’s centuries older than me and him.”
“Did you just say Claire is Dragon’s mother?”
He smiled wide at my astonishment, “Yes.”
When I thou
ght about it, it actually made a lot of sense. Most of the resort staff members appeared to be in their early thirties with a few exceptions. But in talking with them on different occasions I’d always gotten the sense that they’d been around much longer. It was just something in the way they spoke. An outdated word or slang term here and there, or in Solomon’s case, a teenager speaking with the maturity of the fifty year old man he impersonates during his shows. And then there was Claire. Somehow she always seemed like a lioness protecting her cubs.
I was getting the answers to questions buried so far in the back of my mind that I barely remembered ever thinking them. All these years this place had made me think I was going crazy and it turned out my instincts were right all along.
Just then there was a knock at the door and Rook went to answer. He returned with an armful of bags and boxes.
“Solomon had these sent up from the gift shop downstairs. We can put some clothes in the other room for when Rachel wakes up and you can take the others to clean up now if you’d like.”
I hadn’t thought about it until that moment with everything else going through my mind, but I was dead tired. “That’s probably a good idea. Where will you stay tonight Rook?”
“I’ll just camp out here on the sofa and make sure nothing comes to get you,” he teased but I could tell he was still worried.
“Don’t you think Solomon’s wards are strong enough to keep us safe?”
“It’s not always about strength when it comes to magic. Sometimes it’s about finding the right loophole. I’ll sleep better here knowing you’re safe in the next room. Besides, after having you and Rachel so close to Danarius I don’t think I could leave the two of you alone if I wanted to.”
His eyes were haunted and I guessed that like me, he was imagining all the horrible things that could happen if we fell into the hands of someone like Danarius.
Not knowing what else to say I told Rook goodnight and placed some of the clothes in Rachel’s room before going to mine to get ready for bed. I washed my face and brushed my teeth using the complimentary personal hygiene supplies I found in the bathroom, then slipped into a pair of comfortable yoga pants and a soft cotton T-shirt.
When I climbed into bed the sheets were cold and I couldn’t get comfortable despite the sinfully soft bedding and relaxing mattress. I tossed and turned for over an hour. My body was beyond worn out from the stress of the evening, but my mind wouldn’t stop working. And on top of that I was acutely aware of the man in the other room and the pleasure he was capable of giving me. That night on the terrace had been hard and fast, but it had been the best sex of my life. I’d only had a few sexual partners and none of them had lit my body on fire like Rook had.
I flipped over and punched at my pillow. Thoughts like that certainly wouldn’t help me get to sleep.
I must have fallen asleep at some point because I woke up screaming Rachel’s name. The room was dark except for the moonlight seeping in around the curtains. Rook rushed into the room scanning for danger and stopped beside the bed.
“What’s wrong Angela?” Concern filled his voice.
My heart was racing and I was having trouble breathing. “It was only a dream,” I told him as I tried to convince myself the nightmare hadn’t been real. My eyes moved wildly around the room grounding me in reality. “It was just a dream,” I assured myself again.
He sat on the bed beside me and pulled me into his arms. “What did you see in your dream?”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to think about it Rook. I can’t think about it. You can’t ever let that monster get close to her again.”
“I’ll do my best to keep her safe Angela, I promise.”
The promise was given like he was swearing a solemn oath and I was glad he didn’t promise more than he could control, even if I’d rather hear that Danarius would never touch Rachel again.
His hand stroked over my hair while my heart slowed and the adrenaline rush caused by the dream faded. When I calmed down enough, I noticed he was wearing a pair of sweatpants and nothing else. My cheek was pressed against smooth, darkly tanned skin covering hard sculpted muscles.
“How does your skin get so dark when you always wear those long sleeved shirts?” I asked, tracing the intricate design tattooed on his chest with my finger. It was exactly like the one I’d seen on his chest during my massage.
He tensed and said, “I swim in the Gulf almost every day when I wake up around twelve or one.”
“Oh?” Now that was something I’d like to see. All those muscles moving gracefully, pulling him through the surf as it rolls on shore.
He cleared his throat. “I think you’ll be alright now,” he said and started to rise.
I don’t know what came over me but I couldn’t face staying in that bed alone, waiting for the nightmare to return.
My hand shot out and gripped his forearm. “Don’t leave me Rook; I can’t be alone right now, not after everything that’s happened tonight.”
Our eyes met and the emotions I saw in his scared me. I saw what it would cost him to stay with me, if tomorrow I turned my back on him again. But in that moment I couldn’t think about that. I needed him, and maybe that was selfish, but I couldn’t let him go.
A long moment later he climbed into bed with me, lying behind me as I rolled onto my side. His warmth and weight was just what I needed to feel safe again. I closed my eyes, ashamed for needing him so badly but not being able to give him what he needed in return. I wanted to promise I’d never turn my back on him again but I couldn’t make myself say the words. Why did life have to be so complicated?
His arm came around me and pulled me in tight against his body.
“Thank you Rook,” I told him sincerely.
“Anything for you Angela,” he replied a little sadly as he took my hand in his.
Bringing his hand to my lips I kissed his fingers then held his hand in mine just below my chin as I drifted off to sleep
Chapter Twelve
The sun was shining outside and its rays had replaced the moonlight peeking around the edges of the curtains. I’d been lying in bed awake for some time thinking about my life and the very hard choices I needed to make. Rook and I slept the whole night spooned together with his arm wrapped over me and his hand held in mine. It felt so right to wake up beside him.
I’d only had one serious relationship in my life and that had been with Rachel’s father Jimmy. We had an on again off again relationship for more than ten years that included a few incidents of domestic violence. I hadn’t seen him for a while and I couldn’t have been happier about his absence.
But even when my relationship with Jimmy was fresh and new, I never felt this comfortable with him. I never felt like he was a part of my soul, but with Rook it had always been that way. I had to fight with myself constantly not to open up to him. Yet, no matter how hard I tried not to, I still let him in. I’d told him things I hadn’t told anyone else, not my friends, or even the partners I’d had. For six years Rook had been the one person on the planet that I thought of when I was alone, that I felt I could go to with anything, and that I knew wouldn’t let me down even when I treated him like a common criminal. Why was I letting anything keep me away from him?
His arm tightened around me and his hips shifted pressing him closer to my body. Oh God how I wanted to just say screw everything else and tell him I couldn’t live without him.
“Have you been awake long?” Rook asked quietly behind me.
“For a while.”
“I can practically hear the wheels turning in your head. What have you been thinking about so hard?”
He pulled his hand from mine to run it along my side and down my hip then back up again. I loved the feel of his hand on my body and I wished there weren’t any clothes between us.
“I’ve been thinking about what’s important in life.”
“And have you come to any conclusions?”
“I don’t know how to answer that...” I struggled
to find the right words. “Obviously Rachel is important to me and every decision I’ve made since she was conceived, I’ve made with her in mind. I’ve worked hard to build my career so I could support her on my own and give her a better life than I had growing up. I had two parents but neither of them could stay sober long enough to hold down a job for very long.
When I was still very young I met Rachel’s father Jimmy. At that age, I thought he was great. He always had grand plans that he promised would make us rich someday soon. It was good for a while after Rachel came along. We never did get married but I stayed with him and he did a better job supporting me than my parents ever had. Then his businesses started failing and he started drinking more. Things got physical a few times and I left him.
After that, I found some support groups, joined the force and learned to stand on my own. Then one day he came back into my life. Every time he came back it was the same. He’d lavish gifts on me and Rachel, treating us like queens. He could be so charming when he wanted to be. But it always ended the same too. His businesses would take a dive, the drinking would start, then the 911 calls. Right after I met you I told him it was over, that he could still see Rachel but we were through and I haven’t seen him since.”
Rook was listening quietly, growling when I mentioned the physical abuse. He continued caressing my hip idly like he wasn’t even aware he was doing it. It just felt so right to lie there in his arms baring my soul to him.
“I’ve never been involved with anyone other than Jimmy. I mean, I’ve had a couple of casual flings, but no real commitments. I don’t have a lot of faith in relationships given my past experiences. That’s why it’s so hard for me to take that next step with you. I have to think about Rachel. If we were to go any further down this road we’re traveling I would most certainly be thrown off the force. I could argue that there’s no evidence suggesting that anyone at this resort has ever committed a crime, but it wouldn’t matter. They’d eventually find a way to get rid of me. Where would that leave me and Rachel? We can’t just expect you to take care of us. And what if things didn’t work out between me and you? What then?”
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