“I totally agree with you, Sir, err, Mr Baines-Tennant.” Deidra dipped into a pathetic attempt at a curtsy. She could use a lesson in the basics, and I would give her one right now.
Placing one leg behind the other, I bent my knee slightly then bowed my head. I was busting to laugh, but she had taken up too much of my time already. The back and forth with her had brightened my mood. It was brighter than earlier, clouded over with a small chance of sunshine. “Now if you would excuse me, I have an appointment with my Latino friend.”
She flinched as I emphasised Latino. “There will be no need to relay any of this to your guest, a simple misunderstanding, and one I shall not repeat.”
“That is most gracious of you, Deidre, goodbye.” I closed the door on her then peeked out from behind the curtains and watched the little ferret scurry away, her mobile phone jammed in hand before she reached the pavement. I wondered how long it would take her to relay details of our tête-à-tête.
“That will teach you, you interfering old bat,” I sniggered, imagining how my mother would have dealt with her. Batting away an annoying insect with her gloved hand, I imagined. Glancing at my watch, proved why I felt famished, and I decide sulking was too exhausting. Instead of wallowing over the near-kiss with Milo, I would take an Uber to Nick’s—a veggie burger and fries would hit the spot right now.
An hour later, I slipped out of the Uber and pushed the door to Nick’s open; the delicious smell of food cooking made my stomach rumble.
The place was fairly busy today, and to my relief, homophobic jock free.
Country music played from the Jukebox—some God-awful song about seeing the light. It’s almost a yodel and an offence to my delicate eardrums.
“Hey!” Seth greeted me with a smile from behind the counter.
“Hello!” Even in uniform, I decided he was shaggable.
“Take a seat anywhere you. I’ll come take your order.”
“Thank you.” I knew where I’d prefer to sit. Right on his pretty face. Those big, pouty lips of his... I wagered he was experienced, and his tongue would tackle my arse like an electric whisk beats cake mix into submission.
Seth made his way around the counter and stood at my table. Rather than a whiff of grease, I caught a whiff of aftershave. “How are you today?”
“Very well, thank you.” He handed me the menu. “You smell nice,” I blurted out, before taking myself to task.
“Why, thank you.”
I blushed. “I don’t know what I fancy today.” Poor choice of words. I’d changed my mind about the veggie burger en-route. “What specials do you have for vegetarians?”
“Umm, not much choice, but I can rustle up something for ya.”
“I don’t want you to go to any trouble.”
“It’s no trouble for me at all.”
He was a shining example of customer service. “Can I have a couple of fried eggs, some toast, and grilled tomatoes?”
“I’m sure we can manage that.”
“And the largest coffee you have, my brain is a little frazzled today.”
“You tip up a few too many last night?” Seth quizzed me then dropped a compliment. “You look good considering.”
No words could convey the truth his eyes revealed. The boy was mine if I wanted him that was.
“Kind of—a date that went tits up.” I tried to call Milo on the way into town hoping he would meet me, but every time, my call diverted to his voicemail. I didn’t bother to leave a second message.
“We’ve all had one of those. I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“This guy is kind of special.”
“Aren’t they all when things don’t go our way?”
“You speak from experience?”
“I’ve met every asshole within state lines.”
“Sorry to hear that, you seem to be a good guy.”
“I try, which is why you shouldn’t give up. There’s plenty of good guys left. It’s just finding one.” He winked at me.
“I don’t think I stand a chance with him if I am honest—” Just then, the diner door swung open, and the last person I expected to see strolled in and revived my sleeping trouser snake. I put my hand in place in case Seth looked down and spotted it.
“Oh, hey, Milo,” Seth called out, looking at his watch. “You’re an hour early, d’ya know that?”
Milo glared but ignored me as though I was a stranger. “Yeah, but I need to dump my bag in the back while I grab a part for Sadey.”
“Oh, okay, man.”
He charged past us and straight through to where I assumed the staff room was situated. My eyes focused on his muscular arse.
“Sorry about that,” Seth sputtered. He readied his pen to finalise my order.
“Does he work here?”
“Oh, yeah, for ages. We’re good buddies, so working together is cool.”
“I bet he’s popular with the customers.”
“He makes way more in tips than I do, put it that way.”
I made a mental note to leave Seth a massive tip. He was as sexy as Milo Garcia, but they had totally different vibes going on. I had planned on cutting my losses and asking Seth out for a drink but doing so would over complicate matters.
“People can be fickle.”
“Milo’s kind of distant with most people, you know, the kind that only lets you in so far before he slams the door shut.”
“I know the type, yes.”
“But as I said, we’re good buddies, and he’s stood by me through some bad times. As friends go, I have the best.”
“At least you have somebody on your side.”
A customer waved for his attention. “Sorry for talking for so long. I’ll see what that lady over in the corner wants, then get your order in and bring your coffee over.”
“Thank you, Seth.” I intended to eat and get out of there before Milo returned from sourcing car parts. It’s a shame. I was fond of this place. The food tasted good; the staff easy on the eye. But it was Milo’s place of work, and I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable with my presence.
Chapter Nine
Milo
I gripped Sadey’s wheel harder than usual as I whipped her out of the parking lot. What the hell did Edward think, stalking me?
In an attempt to drown out the nagging voices in my head, I turned up the radio as Linkin Park’s “Bleed it Out” pounded through the speakers. Last night’s bad decisions oozed out of my pores as the wind blew about through the open window. Edward’s house disoriented me and pounding my frustrations out by fucking Scarlett one more time nailed me as being equal or worse than my old man. Only users and abusers behaved selfishly; I earned my seat in hell next to the man I detested with every shitty decision I’d made over the last three days.
I bolted out of the house early for work because the worry in my mother’s eyes drove me out of my bed this morning, as guilt tore through my heart. The heavy burden of lying to my mother about dinner with Edward, and why I smelled closer to a whorehouse than an upstanding citizen when I came home. She didn’t use those words, but I knew with each crease pressed into her forehead, I caused the pain in her already broken heart. And then karma—that bitch, dangling Edward before me at work. He confused me beyond reason. And the worst confession I made to myself, the one that forced me to punch a hole in the garage wall, I thought about Edward with each thrust into Scarlett. Somewhere I knew I needed a shrink as men weren’t my thing.
Sadey purred in good health, so the lie I spewed to Seth piled another rich layer to my list of wrongs, leaving a rancid taste of a shitty day sitting on the tip of my tongue.
On top of everything else, “Bleed it Out” played on repeat for some reason and each time it spoke louder to me. It started as a creative side for me when I first heard the song. But today, it seemed to tell me how my dark hidden secrets weren’t far from exposing all the things I’d buried over the years and perhaps even more recently. Driving around aimlessly hadn’t changed my mood, but m
oney in my pockets led me back to Nick’s. This time, I slipped in through the backdoor.
The morning rush had left, and dishes sat by the wash station. One I gladly positioned myself into today. No customer should deal with my shitty attitude, so I stuck myself in the back.
“So, what’s wrong?” Seth knew me too well.
“The usual.” I shrugged and scrubbed a few more plates.
“I ain’t buying your crap. What’s wrong?”
The problem with working with your best friend was never allowing them to sulk or be in a terrible mood without them noticing and being intrusive. Instead, I decided to give him a crumb. “I hooked up last night.”
He shrugged. “So, you hooked up a lot before Deborah.”
“Yeah. Well, I went back to the old stomping grounds.”
“Oh, gasp!” Seth lived for sarcasm. “How could you?” There was no reason to name the issue at hand.
“That’s it. Poor choices put me in a bad mood.”
“It would me, too. I mean, she gets around. But rumor has it she still has hopes you’ll be placing a ring on her finger after graduation.”
I knew the rumors, which made her easy pickings, and another hot poker stained my demon heart. The focus changed when I dug myself deeper in the world of lies and asked, “So who was that guy you were helping?” As if I didn’t know Edward. What kind of an asshole layered on the bullshit to his best friend? I stole a glance up at the mirror, which helped us monitor when orders came up and knew in the reflection exactly what type of smarmy character did this.
“He’s a new kid at your university. His name is Edward.”
“He sounded funny.” Crap. He hadn’t said a word when I walked in and out.
Seth didn’t notice the mistake and kept right up with the conversation, “He’s from England. He has these great, big blue eyes. You know the kind that seem to go on and on like the endless oceans only we North Texans dream of?”
“Yeah. The ocean looks pretty good right about now.” I dumped a few coffee mugs into the hot water.
“I handed him my phone number.” Seth sighed in that 1950’s he’s dreamy kind of way.
I grabbed a coffee mug and slammed into the bottom of the sink too hard; it broke, slicing my palm. “Fuck,” I hissed as I pulled my bloody hand out of the soapy water.
“Jesus, Milo. You’re jacked up today.” He handed me a towel and reached for the first aid kit.
“Don’t report this,” I pleaded. Seth was one of our managers, and I needed to work. A deep cut potentially stopped me from making money for a few days. Paychecks I couldn’t afford to miss.
“Let me look at it. You know I need this job, too.” His lips pursed as he took the towel off and ripped open an alcohol swab.
The alcohol sting covered the irritation as I pressed Seth further. “Your number to a customer? That’s new.”
He grinned as he cleaned the cut with antiseptic wash. “You know there are only two things in Texas?”
I chuckled at his reference and decided to indulge him. “Only steers and queers.”
“Since we know Edward is not a steer, he fits right into my pocket.” For the first time in months, Seth’s cheeks pinked, and he smiled with a glow I only saw when his otherwise internal self-control allowed his outside facade to show his interest in someone. Something that rarely happened here in Texas because people were assholes and outwardly homophobic despite it being the twenty-first century.
“Well, then I guess you have yourself a date.”
“I doubt it. But I tried.”
“Why?” He bandaged my hand and then drained the sink to dig out the broken mug.
“He told me he had eyes on someone. I wished him luck. I already know all the datable men in town, and there are none.”
No gain to our relationship existed in telling Seth the truth here. Vegas odds already settled up that no chance existed that Edward and I would go further. Last night, a fluke at best, happened in a moment of weak delirium. Best thing I could do, and, for some reason, it pissed me off even more, came flowing as easy as hot lava as each word burned while leaving my tongue, as I lied and said, “I’ll see if I can find him on campus and set you two up.”
“You would do that for me?”
“Yeah. What are best friends for.”
“I told him today I had the best friend in the world.” Seth finished the dishes, and I stayed on shift at the cash register. We didn’t say another word about Edward or my mood the rest of the day. Instead, I smoldered in the embers of my hot mess for the next week.
“What time will you be home?” My mother finished serving the steel oats and set two bowls on the table—one for me and one for her. My father left this morning as a consultant to the university football team. He’d be gone four days, and the release of tension from his absence felt good.
“Late. I have a midterm and then a study group in the library.”
“If I make tortilla soup before I leave, will you eat it when you get home?”
“Mom. Stop worrying. I’m fine.”
She brushed her hand over the top of mine. “Milo, you listen to me. I know you all too well. You’ve lost at least ten pounds over the last six weeks. You’re pasty white and have a vampire look about you.”
“Stop. I’m finishing school and working at Nick’s and cars on the side. You need to trust me.” I peered up at her through my overgrown inky mess. Elvis had nothing on my fringe at this point.
“Don’t you dare cut me off. I know you better than anyone. Is this over Deborah? Your father? Me?”
I took one bite of my oats and dried fruit before answering with something to satisfy her. “I’m preparing for us to leave him.”
“What?”
“Mom. We need to move out. I know this is the house grandpa and grandma left to you, but we need to go. He’s not good for us. I’m afraid I’ll come home one night, and you’ll be—”
“Don’t say it, Milo.” A tear slid down and dripped off her jaw onto her silk blouse.
“We both need to clean up and get out of here. But that’s what’s got me worked up.”
Her hands trembled in her lap as I scooped the leftover breakfast into storage bowls. I kept my plans to myself for years. I knew the thought of leaving her family home upset her, but how could I tell her my love life sucked.
Nobody in this God-forsaken valley interested me. They wanted what looked good on paper—a man who provided for them while they popped out baby after baby. My future didn’t include any of those checked boxed items. My future was simple. Degree, job, leave, and provide a place where my mom rested her mind and body without a care in the world.
Then it all crashed down around me. The moment I acknowledged the personal space intruder. The quirky British student, Edward. He’d invaded my thoughts and showed up front and center in my dreams. Nothing I did the last few weeks flushed him out of my thoughts. Seth was gay, not me. No good Catholic used birth control or thought about shoving his cock into another man’s available holes; I’d had one too many thoughts about that since Edward’s dinner disaster. This town, and my situation, finally caught up with me, forcing me down a path where I’d end up shattered and destroyed.
Her tears fell harder with each dish I washed, and my heart broke. The thoughts running through her mind shouted inside my tortured head. Leaving her upset wasn’t happening, so I broke first. “We can do this. Together. I won’t leave without you.”
She sniffed and wiped her chin. “I’ve been putting money away for years to leave. I wanted you to finish school and have something to start with. I made my bed. I’ll figure out how to divorce him, but I won’t leave what’s mine.”
“I won’t take your money. I’m telling you now, be prepared to leave after I graduate. We aren’t staying here one day longer.”
“Honey, I have a lawyer working on things. That’s why I’ve been late. I think your dad knows.” Her lashes held back the flow as she stared up at me.
It took m
e a moment processing her confession. She already knew in her heart it was time. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Oh, my sweet boy. You have so much more on your plate that I simply wanted you to finish school and spread your wings. I know what I’m doing. I document everything. I’m smarter than most give me credit for. We’ll get through this.”
My legs wobbled, and I sat back down next to her, wondering how I missed she devised her own plan. “When will the soup be ready? We need to talk tonight.”
“Does seven-thirty give you enough time?”
“Yeah. I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too.” I leaned over and kissed her cheek before throwing my wallet in my back pocket and plucking my keys off the holder. “And Milo, tonight we need to talk about the actual stuff bothering you. We’ve lived with your father for seventeen of your twenty-one years, and, granted, he gets worse with age, but your weight loss and behavior have nothing to do with this.”
She folded her napkin, squeezed my arm, and walked back down the hallway to finish getting ready for work.
How the hell did she know I scooped her a full helping of bullshit? Well, not entirely, as I planned to discuss leaving when I saved at least six thousand and prepared to interview for jobs. But now she left me speechless; I never figured I’d tell her about Scarlett, the fallout with Deborah, or the evening at Edward’s.
Sadey rumbled to life, and I barely remembered the drive to school, but the litany of possible half-truths outlined in my mind formed. One thing I knew for certain—I’d never tell her about Edward. She didn’t need to be privy to an error in judgment in my stressful world.
Chapter Ten
Edward
This last week had been awful, and, for the first time since arriving in Texas, I felt homesick and missed my parents and, to my surprise, my sister, Felicity.
Lost in a funk, I resolved to all but give up on Milo ever calling or texting me. My mind went over and over the events of that night. He made the first move, not me. So, what was his problem?
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