by Ivy Fox
“I think Freya here showed us enough for one day, Brother.” I hear Carter whisper and feel two strong hands lift me from my seat. Carter smells like a summer’s day, and I nestle my face in the crook of his neck, letting the summer breeze take me under.
“There’s always tomorrow.” I hear Chaz say, placing one chaste kiss on my head. And just like that, I fall asleep in Carter’s embrace, dreaming of the tomorrow Chaz is promising.
Chapter 9
Carter
When I close Freya’s door behind me, my mind and heart are still running a mile a minute. My head falls to the door, dazed with what I just let happen. Chaz is grinning like the fiend he is, and I wish he felt just a speck of the overwhelming feeling that is running through my veins. If he honestly took a moment to reflect on what occurred in our living room just now, maybe it would wash that stupid smirk off his face.
“We have to stop,” I whisper, trying not to wake Freya. I push myself off the door and sluggishly walk down the hallway.
“Stop what?” Chaz asks beside me, completely clueless.
“Antagonizing her,” I explain, my head bowed down in guilt.
“You think we’re antagonizing her? We are so far from it, Brother.” Chaz smiles profusely, patting my shoulder.
“Then what do you call what we just did to her?” I turn, annoyed with his boisterous attitude. If he keeps this up, I’m certain my fist will meet his hard jaw before the night is through.
“What we always wanted, Car.” Chaz confesses with a straight face. The light in his eye showing me the vulnerability he tries to hide away from the world cools my temper somewhat.
“We crossed a line.” I continue ashamedly.
“And what a fucking beautiful line it was,” he counters.
“You have to take this seriously, Chaz. What happened tonight is going to hit Freya in the face tomorrow, and she’ll be a mess.”
“No, she’ll be confused. There’s a difference. And it’s something you and I will need to work on,” Chaz replies somberly.
“I don’t follow.” Confusion now laced around my own damn brain. I head to the kitchen and grab a beer from the fridge, welcoming the chilled liquid down my parched throat.
“Don’t you see, Brother? The ice princess is thawing. Thawing! And I for one am going to drink her up until she’s dry.” Chaz explains while grabbing a beer of his own.
“You’re still on Tyler’s kick then?” I interrogate.
“No. I’m so far from Tyler’s resentful scheme, it isn’t even funny. I’m on my own ride now. Freya crumbled with us tonight, and she’ll crumble again until she’s ready to face facts.” Chaz beams proudly, convinced he cracked Freya’s guarded walls.
“Those being?” I question.
“You know damn well what I’m talking about. We haven’t been whole in years. But tonight we finally got a taste of something we have all been aching for,” Chaz utters, placing his bottle on the kitchen counter, staring right through me with a determined fire in his eyes.
“We got a taste, Car. A taste of her sweetness, of her surrender. She’ll bend in no time, and I’m going to make it my mission to make it happen.”
“Is this your way of punishing her?” I question again, fearing I might be misreading him completely.
“For fuck’s sake, Carter! Open your eyes. No one is being punished here but us. The way I see it, this is our only chance we have of making her realize she was wrong to cast us away. I don’t want to punish or toy with her any longer. I want her to see what she’s gone without all these years and crave it like air.” Chaz radiates.
A small flicker of hope begins to sprout within me, as I wonder if Chaz could be on to something. Could we make Freya see she was wrong for leaving us all those years? That no one on God’s green earth could ever protect, cherish, and love her like we do? Is it possible at all for her to even wrap her mind into the possibility of it all? Just these mere thoughts bring a myriad of emotions, and my legs suddenly feel too weak to stand on their own.
I slide to the floor, covering my face with my hands. I need a minute just to compartmentalize this new information, along with the feelings that were ignited by what the three of us shared. Chaz gives me my space and falls to the ground next to me. I close my eyes and lean my head back, hitting the refrigerator door. I can still smell her vanilla scent around me. My tongue still holds on to her honey flavor.
When she so beautifully came in front of us, it took everything I had not to go right to the source and lick her clean. I didn’t dare try since one small taste made me a goner. If I was to drink from her well, I’d bet I’d start declaring my love to her right there and then. Yeah, that would have spooked her for sure. And she wouldn’t be the only one. With Chaz’s idea sounding sweeter and sweeter to me, I can’t help but think of three people, who might take offense.
“Are you going to tell the others?” I ask concerned.
“Mason and Ty, I’ll keep in the dark for a few more days. I’m pretty sure the minute I tell them what went down tonight, they’ll come home in a heartbeat. I’ll tell Drew in a day or two. The news might brighten the moody fuckers spirits, but I want to give Freya a couple of days just with us two, to get back on solid ground with each of us, one at a time.”
I nod my agreement.
“Freya is a scared, frightened bird at times, but that’s not all she is. She’s forgotten that even falcons soar and have claws,” I reply.
“My point exactly. That’s why we need to make her brave and trust us,” Chaz states, putting his arm over my shoulder, bringing our foreheads to join together.
“We got three weeks, Car. Let’s make them fucking count!”
Chapter 10
Freya
When I feel the rays of sunshine hit my face, I pull the duvet over my head. Wishing I could stay under the covers for the rest of my life, and forgo the ridicule that awaits me downstairs.
My encounter with the twins last night has left me too embarrassed to set foot outside my bedroom door. What had come over me to do that? To expose myself in such a way? I mean, sure I’ve fed my fantasies to run amok at times, but never in my wildest dreams did I think any of them could come to fruition. I had come to the painful realization that my fantasies would continue to be the norm in my head, but to actually play them out like that? Never in a million years did I think I would have the courage to do such a thing. Especially with the twins. Well, with any of the Perry boys, really. I’d be putting myself out there for their disparagement. Because that’s what I expected from them now. Constant teasing and humiliation at every turn. They hated me, and now they would take my moment of weakness as a way to hurt me further.
So how do I handle this? I hide. I hide in my room all day. Again. Like the harmless game we used to play as children, me in a tower, while my knights surrounded beneath to protect their Princess from danger. Only now this isn’t a game, and they are the ones I should fear the most.
I hear a loud splash sound come from outside the window, followed by laughter. My curiosity gets the best of me as I crawl from my bed and peek through the curtains to see what all the commotion is about. Both twins are in the pool area, goofing about with a few guys I recognize from Hills High. Luckily, there is an absence of female companionship, but still, their carefree nature irks me to no end.
I continue to watch them parading around with their friends by the pool as if nothing happened last night. As if I was just one of the many who crossed their path. To me, they were special. The moment shared between us last night was life-changing, yet to them it was nothing. I was nothing. And never would be.
The day passed at a snail’s pace. I waited all morning until I was sure no one was in the house, to dash into the kitchen and grab some much-needed nourishment. Only when the house was dead silent, I attempted to leave my sanctuary. No way was I risking running into either twin. If I couldn’t feed my aching soul, at least I could replenish my body with a few snacks.
I grab what
I can and run back to the security of my room in five minutes flat. My breakfast and lunch consisted of two sodas, two packets of chips, one banana, and an apple. Of course, my stomach was furious at me for being such a spineless weakling and demanded actual food.
I waited again until I didn’t hear noise in the house, and venture into the kitchen to appease my grumbling stomach. Only this time I’m not as lucky as I was earlier on. As I prepare to take off with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, the twins enter the kitchen with two bags, containing the most delicious smell, that my belly does a happy dance with the mere scent.
“Hey, Princess. You sick or something? You didn’t leave your room all day,” Carter states, placing the bags on the counter. I shake my head, frozen in place, trying to strategize a way of leaving without too much damage, but then he turns to me and places a chaste kiss on my cheek. Eyes wide, I almost gasp when Chaz comes to my other side and repeats the kind sentiment on my other cheek. A rosy hue blossoms on my face at the unexpected tenderness shown by both boys.
“Well, I guess I’ll trash this chicken soup then.” My mind unfreezes when I realize Chaz is holding out a small container.
“You bought me soup?” I ask, dumbfounded that they brought me anything at all.
“Well, yeah. You barely ate the whole day, so we thought you might be coming down with something,” Chaz replies bashfully, and it’s the first time the shy boy I once knew comes out. No longer the arrogant, cocky boy, who had made an effort in making my stay a living hell, but the Chaz I remember fondly.
“I was going to make it myself, but we ran a bit late so we didn’t go grocery shopping,” he replies, his soft smile tugging at his lips.
“Thank you. I’d love some actually,” I reply, moved by the endearment.
“Good. If you want some burgers and fries, we got those as well. Just thought soup would be better for you, in case you were getting sick or something,” he answers, with a vibrant twinkle in his sea-blue eyes.
“Thank you, Chaz. That’s very considerate of you.”
“Yeah, whatever,” he says, brushing his dirty blond hair back, showcasing a bit of embarrassment by my gratitude.
“After dinner, you up for a movie, Princess?” I’m still peeling the lid off the container when Carter poses the question. He takes it out of my hands, places the delicious broth into a bowl and heats it up in the microwave, while Chaz is meticulously concentrated in setting the table for all three of us. This domestic ease of theirs dissolves my previous anxious state. They haven’t made one crude comment about last night, nor are they treating me like a pariah. In fact, their behavior is reminiscent of the boys I grew up with. The care I had been previously acquainted with seems to have resurfaced, and my greedy body and mind want more of it. A small fear still lingers though, that this might be just some elaborate ploy which will end, either by breaking my restraint once more or leave me in tears with their cruelty.
“What type of movie?” I ask, my back now stiff, with the unsettling feeling churned deep within me. Is this out-of-the-blue concern premeditated? Just an act? Doing everything they can to get a repeat of last night? Sure, it was one of the hottest experiences I have ever had, but if they are being kind only to have their way with me, it’s a manipulation I will not take lightly.
“Whatever you’re in the mood for. We have some romcoms if action isn’t your thing. Girls like that shit, right?” Chaz asks. My shoulders relax at the earnest expression on Chaz’s face and the sincere smile on Carter’s.
“Yeah, I guess. I can go for a bit of laughter.”
“Cool. First dinner, then we’ll get the TV room ready,” Carter adds, placing the warm soup on the table. I take a seat between the two, but before I dig in, I ask the question which has been plaguing my mind since yesterday.
“So, is Drew going to join us?” I ask nonchalantly, not wanting to straight-out question why I haven’t seen him in a few days.
“Nah, he’s sleeping in the city at Ty and Mason’s place,” Carter answers, taking a big bite out of his burger.
“Oh,” I glumly reply. I should be pleased that Drew isn’t in here by the way he tormented me the last time I saw him. But like the masochist I am, I would rather have Drew’s hate, than his absence. A few questions also pop to mind.
The first is why was Drew staying with Tyler and Mason, instead of being here with the twins?
Was I such an ill wanted guest, he would rather leave his home than run into me at any given time?
The second was if Tyler and Mason were living in the city, why did they always come home on the weekends? I mean, this family has always been a tight unit, but it doesn’t seem logical that they stay here from Friday to Sunday when they are only a thirty-minute drive away.
I eat my soup and my stomach thanks me for the hearty meal, even if my thoughts are a jumbled mess. I find that my tummy is still upset as it has been deprived from actual food for so long, but now seeing as Carter and Chaz are a little bit on more friendly terms with me, makes me feel a little bit at ease.
Maybe I overreacted to what happened the day before. It’s probably a frequent thing with the boys anyway. Having girls over and masturbating in front of them must be a slow day for them where women are concerned. The idea doesn’t sit well with me at all, and the mere idea of it threatens the soup to make its way up my throat instead of down. I shrug the ugly thoughts away and clean my bowl.
We enjoy our meal surrounded by lively banter. Chaz and Carter talk about their summer, and all the things they intend to do before they need to start their college classes in the fall. I stay quiet and listen to all their plans, including the surprise announcement Chaz makes about possibly starting his freshman year in France, of all places.
I smile at both of them, eagerly nodding and laughing on cue, with them at their jubilee of beginning the next phase in their lives, while inside my chest cracks with every word. Soon, the Perry boys will no longer have a place in my life, and I will have to take steps to start living without them altogether. I took the first one ages ago, but this one is going to damage me in ways I’m not yet prepared to handle. Soon I’ll be licking my wounds on my lonesome.
I wash the dishes while Carter dries and Chaz places them in their respective cupboards. By the time we leave the kitchen, talks about the future have ceased, and I feel a bit more human. Maybe tomorrow I’ll repay the boys’ kindness with a home-cooked meal. I’ll give Chaz the night off from kitchen duty, which I’m sure will be appreciated, and prepare them a good old fashion stir fry.
Once we reach the living room, my eyes trail to the couch of sin, and my disobedient body shivers at the recollection. If the boys had similar thoughts, they didn’t show it. Both sat on the couch, pushing me in the middle, and watched the whole movie making jokes about the heroine obsession of all things Jane Austen, while I defended her tooth and nail. The evening went on like this, in playful banter and joyful spirits.
I whisper a prayer to the heavens and thanks for the additional happy memory the twins have given me.
Chapter 11
Freya
Life with the twins these past two days have been surreal. Both Chaz and Carter have gone out of their way in making me feel special and cherished. I feel as if I’m walking on air, soaking up all their attention and gentle touching. Neither has broached the event that happened between us nor have they instigated its repetition. Instead, they have held my hand while watching movie after movie. They have kissed my cheeks at every opportunity. They’ve played with my hair and put their arms around me but never crossing the line to anything overtly sexual. I’m both pleased at their restraint and frustrated in the same breath.
This afternoon, they asked if I wanted to accompany them to the beach and watch them surf, something I’ve longed to do. But I declined, thinking better of it. The twins need their bonding moments without my interference, but I did promise them I would have dinner on the table once they arrived, bringing infectious smiles to their fully drawn li
ps.
I’m gleefully getting ready to start the endeavor when Drew enters the kitchen, and my back immediately stiffens. The only time we had been in the same room together, he had shown me nothing but animosity. The twins might have had a change of heart where I’m concerned, but I fear Drew doesn’t want me anywhere near him or his brothers.
“Making dinner, I see,” Drew says, leaning against the marble countertop behind me. I feel his eyes roam up and down my body, and even though I know he is probably measuring me in contempt, having his undivided attention is making every inch of skin heat up under his gaze.
“Thought I’d give Chaz a reprieve from being the only one who cooked in this house,” I reply sternly, hoping my harsh tone is enough to camouflage the ache in my belly every time I hear his voice. There is a long pause, and if I didn’t feel his presence linger behind me, I would swear he had left me alone in the kitchen talking to myself. I place the knife on the cutting board and walk to the sink to rinse my hands. As I turn around to grab a pan for the stir-fry, Drew places one hand on each side of the counter, imprisoning me where I stand.
“You look different today,” he says, his glacial eyes focused on mine.
“I do?” I whimper, losing my voice for being this close to him. My eyes lower from his relentless stare, and I bite my inner cheek for not being strong enough to bear it. But Drew won’t let me run away that easily. His thumb caresses my chin, bringing my face back up to his full view. The glint in his eye is no longer vengeful, but more mischievous than I’ve ever seen them.
“Definitely different,” he hushes, and I feel his breath kiss my face, setting a new swell of emotions to run through my body. I shut my eyes unprepared for how his closeness affects me. Just the feel of his thumb tenderly caressing my chin, is making me unashamedly wet. He leans in closer, and my knees start to quake. I hold on to the counter behind me with both hands, so I don’t make a fool of myself right here and now and stumble to the floor.