An idea of inviting everyone back to my place sprung to mind. I desperately wanted to see her and figured if there was a group of us altogether it would keep me and my feelings in check.
Rising slowly, I made my way to her and her friends. They were a rowdy bunch, all full of fun and having a good time. “Hey.” As soon as her eyes met mine I couldn’t help but crack a grin—she looked adorable. She looked speechless and her breathing was a little labored as she swayed slightly on her feet. The air between us thickened, and I was in danger of overstepping the mark and reaching out to touch her.
Lily took a deep breath, and her eyes fluttered almost closed, she was taking me in as well. I gave her a half smile, and she blushed. I bit back the smirk that played on my lips, and my eyes narrowed with the effort to contain it. She was affecting me as well, and my dick made my jeans feel like they’d suddenly shrunk at least two sizes.
Struggling to control herself, Lily seemed as intoxicated by me as I was by her, so I turned and fist bumped douche to break the intensity of the situation between us. Will’s eyes darted to her, almost like he knew he was betraying her and siding with the enemy.
Lily smiled to reassure Will, and I felt annoyed that she felt the need to do that. I kept talking to Will but my eyes flicked back and forth at her. She was clearly still affected at being near me. Nervously licking her lips and chewing the inside of her cheek, she had drifted off into her head, disassociating herself from the conversation.
“You were fabulous honey.” I smiled at Mandy, leaning forward, and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Lily bristled and clutched her arm. I offered Mandy the opportunity to come and do a guest spot with us later in the year when we played near home. She was good, and I wanted to help showcase her talent.
Mandy jumped up and down with excitement and the look Lily was giving her was either one of jealousy or embarrassment—I couldn’t quite decide which—because she looked away altogether before I could cement that thought.
Mandy chatted away, and I pretended to listen to her, but my eyes were ticking over Lily. She made me hard every time I looked at her. She had a faraway look in her eyes then a small smirk curved her beautiful luscious lips, her eyes refocusing on me. Once again, we only had eyes for each other, and I could feel my own smile forming.
I had to talk to her. “Are you going to introduce me?” I said turning to douche. His jaw fell open in shock, and he gave me a look that said, “You’re only just noticing this amazingly hot woman?”
Will was hesitant and was totally inept at what to introduce her as. “This is my… eh, mine…” I stopped listening as soon as he said “my.” She would be nothing to him, not while I was around anyway. Lily shifted on her feet; her eyes flicking to Will and a brief, concerned look washed over her face.
“Hey,” she said, putting her hand out. “Lily… I’m Will’s colleague.” She gestured with her index finger and pointed down the length of her, reminding me of the first ever meeting on the campus lawn when she’d mirrored me. A time before we knew what it was like to take each other. Lily’s eyes darted to Will, and she smiled affectionately at him. Why she felt the need to offer support to that douche was beyond me.
Reaching out I took her hand in the palm of mine. It was supposed to be a handshake, but it meant so much more to the both of us. The feelings that emitted from my heart were almost overwhelming—it ached—and it took all my restraint not to squeeze it. Touching this tiny part of her body was torture when my hands wanted to be all over her.
It was affecting her too, a slight tremor crept through her body and her face became flushed. The same now-familiar, but no less thrilling, electrical buzz detonated pangs of pleasure from so deep inside me my body hummed. Her now suntanned skin was a rash of goose-bumps and the same sensual, hooded eyes that lit up when I crawled over her and buried myself inside of her.
She shivered, and I ran my fingers over her skin smiling slowly.
“Hi, Lily pleased to meet your acquaintance,” My voice was so thick with lust, I might have just as well said, “Take off your clothes of Lily, I want to fuck you.”
Lifting her hand, my eyes never left hers for a second as I was bending forward to make contact. I drew my lips across her delicate soft skin on her knuckles. I couldn’t resist tasting her, and my tongue made the slightest sweep over the trail as well. Lily’s breath caught in her lungs, and she squirmed, her eyelids fluttering closed briefly while she gathered her thoughts. Opening her eyes, she stared back at me, a serious look on her face. She was measuring me up, and I was naked as far as my feelings were for her.
I realized I was indulging myself; objectifying her, fantasizing about her, and I had been biting and licking my dry lips. Her hooded, lust-filled eyes were fixed on my mouth. She was watching my mouth intently, her tongue sliding tantalizingly slowly across her dry lips.
Mandy interjected again, asking for the dates of the gigs I had mentioned to her. Lily dragged her eyes out of our stare and walked past me. Thinking on my feet, I invited everyone back to the house for drinks. There was no way I was done being around Lily at that point.
Once I turned on my charm, her friends were all over the invite. Douche stood there with some reservations because of Lily, but he wanted to be there, afraid he’d miss something.
My heart beat stopped when Lily said she was going home. There was no way I wanted all those guys over at my house if she wasn’t going to be one of them. I needn’t have worried about that, her friends did a great job of coaxing her to be there with them. She relented, and the relief I felt that she’d given in to their demands was immense.
Walking quickly to my car, I thought about calling Drew for back up, but decided against that knowing he’d try to lecture me about what I was doing. So I swung by the store and picked up a couple of cases of beer, nine bottles of both red and white wine, some dips, and a few snack trays. Less than two minutes after I placed them in the fridge I saw douche’s car pull up outside, followed by Neil’s.
Lily hung back until most of the others came inside, but when she did, I smiled slowly at her. She was amazing to look at and taking her by her arms, I pressed myself into her in a hug. It was playful and friendly—no sexual intent—I wanted her to be relaxed. Lily smiled but her eyes darted to the stairs and a pink tinge stained her cheeks. Her eyes flicked to mine, back to the stairs, then over to the couch, and finally to the floor.
My eyes briefly met and followed hers as they traveled around the room. When I saw the stairs my eyes glanced up at the ceiling, thinking about the last time she had been here; in my bed, in my shower, in my head.
My dick hardened in reaction to the subtle cues she was radiating. She was remembering being here with me and all the intimate ways we’d experienced each other’s bodies. Knowing she was still affected made me smile, but I used my beer bottle to hide behind, not wanting her to know I knew exactly what was going on in that pretty little head of hers.
Douche stroked her arm, and I wanted to crush his fingers; the fucker seemed to use any opportunity to paw at her. “Are you okay with this?” he asked her. Lily nodded almost too quickly, and I felt so damned sad that she was uncomfortable. An urge came over me to protect her. Except for the fact it was me who made her vulnerable.
When everyone had their drinks I couldn’t get near her. Her friends played twenty questions about my band and touring, all eager to know how to get their music out there and what it took to get ahead in the business.
Glancing over now and then, it worried me how uncomfortable Lily appeared. She was perched on the edge of the couch, looking much younger than her years. Her innocence made her too fucking alluring from where I was standing.
She had a body for sin and the thoughts running through my head about her were nothing short of scandalous. The carnal feelings Lily brought out in me were second to none. Lusting about her could be taken to the nth degree.
Will was being all attentive. His girl was standing near Mandy, and he didn’t seem at al
l interested in making sure she was taken care of. Douche might have Lily fooled, but I’m a man. He wasn’t able to hide his attraction to her as well as he thought he was. I could see that all it would have taken was for her to let her guard down with that guy, and he’d be on her like a moth to a flame.
Lily hadn’t spoken loudly, but as soon as she did my ears were attuned to her voice. “Sorry. Is there any ice?” Inclining my head toward the kitchen, I pointed with my beer bottle in the direction of the kitchen.
She knew exactly where it was, but we went through the pretense of her not having been at the house before by offering another prompt, “Sure, there’s a dispenser in the fridge.”
She blushed again, embarrassed that we were playing out this game in front of everyone. Pushing up to stand, I was reminded of how her body undulated like that the first moment I saw her.
Lily stood and made her way into the kitchen, her cute ass wiggling as she put one foot in front of the other. The carnal thoughts that ran through my mind when I remembered the feel of her perfect ass in my hands as I sunk balls deep into her almost made me groan out loud. I fucking hated the pretense of the whole situation, and now that I knew she was alone, my resistance to be near her was all but gone.
Excusing myself, I headed in her direction, my will all but destroyed by the feelings of lust and desire only she had ever made me feel. She was standing with her back to me in front of the ice machine, about to press the button. When she did the crushed ice spattered out of the dispenser, spilling all over her and the floor.
She leaned over the counter to get some paper tissue and fuck if she didn’t do that cute little thing where her leg came up as she stretched. My dick hurt like hell for her, Lily had the ability to take control of my body without saying a word, without touching me.
Before I could think, I was behind her and sliding my hand around her waist, pulling her back hard against my front and my aching erection. Lily inhaled deeply and held it. Her head rolling to the side to land at my shoulder.
She had a strong, fast beat to her heart that was palpable right down to her belly, and it was getting faster with each second I held her. My body, like hers, was humming, and I heard her swallow painfully. She was holding her breath as I swept her hair to one side and exposed the nape of her neck.
Touching her skin made me want so much more than what I was doing. Her body was fully awake and on high alert now. Goosebumps erupted instantaneously and a slight tremble radiated from her whole body, but she was frozen.
Slowly, I licked my lips and let my head fall forward, bending to place a soft, gentle kiss on the little spot behind her ear that drove her crazy. I knew it was a liberty, but it was one of those things that I felt absolutely compelled to do.
Smiling against her neck, relishing in the warm sweet rose scent and her own unique smell of Lily, it was all I’d wanted to do since the last time we were together.
The feeling of heat building in her, her skin turning from warm to hot as the white heat of our connection fired up inside and sent her blood running to the surface in an effort to cool itself.
Standing still, I held her from behind like that for a few seconds. Lily didn’t offer any resistance, but there was no melding, no outward sign she wanted this from me, and she exhaled slowly and controlled.
I was willing her to turn around, to wrap her arms around me. If she had, I knew for sure we’d have both given ourselves to the moment. I felt sure about that.
Lily didn’t—her message to me was clear. We were not going to that place that I desperately wanted to experience with again with her. Instantly, I dropped my hands, and left her, moving away as fast as I was able. I didn’t want her to feel embarrassed when she turned in my direction. In truth, I didn’t want her to have the awkwardness of rejecting me. I didn’t want to be rejected by her either.
Re-joining the group and leaving her standing there in the kitchen was so fucking hard. Trying to put on a front for everyone, being charming and cordial, when really all I wanted was for them all to disappear, with the exception of Lily.
When she reappeared Lily still looked nervous. Douche was trying to placate his girl and tend to Lily at the same time. It was laughable really. The guy could hardly control or attend to the one he had, and there he was, practically eye fucking my girl. I scowled in frustration at not being able to go over to him and tell him I knew his game.
Instead, I focused on distracting her. “Lily, what’s been the hardest part of today for you?” I was referring to my raging hard on that I’d pressed into her back not five minutes before. I knew instantly that her mind was still on it as well, because she blushed and got a deer- caught- in- the- headlight look about her face. Then damn, if she didn’t tilt that chin of hers in her now signature note of defiance.
“Nothing really, I mean, there is nothing hard that I can’t handle. If something is perceived to be hard, I usually deal with it by breaking it down to bite-sized chunks.” She stared back at me deadpan, and I wanted to belly laugh. She was hysterical when she was like that.
I grinned widely and held my bottle up saluting her. Lily had risen to my challenge and coped admirably. Turning away from her, I felt her eyes were still on me. Glancing back in her direction our eyes met briefly.
Lily was stunning and sexy and all kinds of horny—sinfully hot in bed—and dirty thoughts crashed into my mind about what I wanted to do to her. My eyes bored into hers, a silent communication that went on between our bodies that neither of us could fathom. The girl left me absolutely breathless. I lifted the bottle again in a second salute before flinging my head back to take a long thirsty draw on my beer.
Douche and his girl wanted to leave so he was suddenly ushering Lily and Saffy to the door, and I moved in to slow this down. Even though Will was with his girl, it was Lily he was guiding out, a protective hand on her lower back in guidance. Clenching my teeth, I strategically placed myself in front of them, effectively blocking their exit.
When the rest of the crowd saw them leaving, everyone else started to gather their things and head out as well. Soon they were all either on the sidewalk or getting in their cars. The clever way I had placed myself and opened the door had prevented them from walking out, until it was only the three of them yet to leave.
Saffy had draped herself around Douche’s neck, and his hand automatically fell from Lily’s back to adjust her arm. She almost had him in a strangle hold.
The opportunist in me reached out, and I slid my hand to the small of her back, the warmth from her body radiating into my palm. She visibly sagged under my touch, and suddenly the heat through the fabric of her clothing wasn’t nearly enough.
The t-shirt she was wearing was one of those baggy types that hung loosely and fell just at the waistline of her jeans, and in my heightened state of arousal, it was far too tempting not to bunch it up slightly and slide my fingers lightly along her soft silky skin from her spine to her hip, tracing the waistband of her jeans.
The move stole her breath, and she tried to move away. Before I knew it I was losing control and my other hand was sliding around her thigh and between her legs. I rubbed my hand between her legs and even through the thick denim material I could feel the dampness of her moist juices pooling there.
A tiny stifled noise escaped her throat, and I pulled my hand away. Bringing my hand to my face, I could definitely smell the essence of her sex and leaned in, my mouth near her ear. “Your arousal smells fucking awesome,” I whispered. She gripped the hand still on her hip and pulled it away, pushing it down before anyone saw it.
Fighting to control my feelings but needing to know how she really felt, I let my head fall forward again and murmured, “You still want me, don’t you? Say it and I’m yours…anytime,” I whispered. A fleeting conflict of feelings passed through her eyes, but when she spoke she was resolute in her decision about us. “Thanks again, Alfie…Goodnight.” Her words tore a tiny hole of rejection in my heart.
Standing on the sidewal
k watching them disappear from view, I shoved my hands deep in my pockets and kicked at imaginary stones on the way back into the house. There was definitely a war of attrition going on between my conscience, emotions, mind, heart, and soul about Lily.
Once inside, I stared at the couch where she had been sitting only twenty minutes ago, and I was berating myself because there was no way I should have behaved like that around her. There was no room for a relationship of any kind in my life, and what I’d done was tantamount to molesting her.
I knew she wouldn’t know what to do with it, and I’d taken advantage of that. Feeling disgusted at my behavior, I sent her an honest text. I should take whatever she wanted to do about what happened here tonight. I wouldn’t have blamed her if she had wanted to report me to the police. I really had overstepped the mark.
Maybe in some sick, twisted way that was what I was trying to achieve, someone else to help keep me away from her, because I sure as shit couldn’t do it on my own. I sent her a provocative text message. I wanted her to keep on hating me because fuck knows I was the weak one in this and if anyone was keeping us apart it was her.
SEXPERT: You felt so good in my hands tonight and you smelled so fucking amazing…I wanted nothing more than your legs wrapped around my waist.
It was a horrible predatory text, but fuck, it was honest. Because, damn, Lily had felt amazing. Her back to my front, when I’d held her in the kitchen. Perfect. Touching her felt amazing. To have wanted something for so long and to finally have felt her in my hands again, even if it had been all one sided, was an incredible rush.
Another thought entered my head. Maybe I was sick. Maybe this was some kind of mental breakdown I was going through. Maybe something had triggered all this crazy fucked-up emotional stuff that’s been supressed for so long, and I was taking it out on her.
Pink Lady: Exactly who do you think you are, don’t you ever touch me again. I don’t want you to touch me… last thing I want is my legs wrapped around anything to do with you. If you do that again, I will scream sexual assault.
Love with Every Beat Page 16