Love with Every Beat

by K. L. Shandwick

  Security was one of the things I wanted to discuss with her that day, but mostly I just wanted to spend time getting to know her better, and I figured it was time she got to know me better as well.

  Chapter 51 – Overthinking

  I sent Lily a text that I was taking her out, then drove over and picked her up. Driving Lily down to a little beach restaurant at the beginning of the Florida Keys, I chose it for its special significance to me. I had fond memories of playing on the small beach as a child with my sister Layla as we sat at the very table my parents sat at while planning all of our future as a family. I shared that fact with Lily.

  “They were always planning something,” I told Lily staring out at the vast ocean and the undisturbed horizon. When I turned and looked at Lily she looked so sad for me, and yeah, I was a bit hurt about my parents and what could and should have been. I was so fucking thankful for her being in front of me.

  Sometimes I’d wonder about my parents, what would they have thought about what I’d done had they lived, but they would have left me at some point, and that was kind of how I came to resolve their deaths in my head. At no point could I contemplate ever being resigned to living without Lily.

  “I just figured that this was a great place to bring you, so that we could do our planning here too. They were an amazing couple, Lily. They were so smart, loving, funny, supportive, until my mom got sick.”

  Nodding her understanding, she probably understood that times like special holidays and birthdays were particularly hard for me. Leaning over, Lily hugged me, and I kissed her cheek, but I didn’t want to get all maudlin so I signaled the waiter to come over.

  We didn’t agree on everything that we wanted as we ironed out our differences on how this was going to work, and I knew most people didn’t ever plan how to start dating, but we weren’t under normal circumstances.

  We would probably get about ten weeks a year altogether, without commitments, where we could actually be in the same place at the same time without the bands. Even during this, we would have to schedule some rehearsal time with our band.

  Begging Lily not to overthink things about us since this was usually the point, when she told me we couldn’t be together. She didn’t this time.

  “Lily, when you truly love someone, you take what you can get. Nothing else matters,” I said quietly..

  Reflecting on what I said, Lily sat quietly for a few minutes, then leaned in and held my hand. “You know what Alfie?”

  Searching her face, I worried about what she might say. “Yeah?”

  Smiling slowly, she said, “It doesn’t matter, none of the planning, the traveling, the bands, the fans. We just have to do this. You told me you were desperately in love with me. I want to show you that I’m just as desperately in love with you. Apart from you being faithful and loving to me, I have no conditions on us.”

  Rising slowly from my seat, I walked around the little tiki table. This was all I’d wanted to hear from her since I had given in to my feelings about her. Wrapping my arms around her from behind, I bent over and hugged her. Suddenly, I hauled her out of the seat and ran full pelt into the ocean with her.

  Lily was screaming for me to let her go, and I shouted, “She loves me.” I know I was being a romantic pussy, and to be honest I didn’t give a fuck if they were all looking. I was fucking Alfie Black. Rock god, superstar; according to the media so it was expected that I would pull that shit right?

  Throwing Lily in, completely submerging her, I’d never felt so alive in my life. Grinning, I pulled her tightly to me. Once she had re-emerged and got her breath back. And fuck if Lily didn’t surprise me and just go with the moment as well, jumping up, wrapping her legs around my waist as I bent to kiss her. As I did, the sunbathers on the beach cheered me.

  Feeling charged, I just wanted to make love to her, and fuck if she didn’t put yet another hoop for me to jump through. I thought when I did finally get laid, I’d give her such a good fucking seeing to, she’d never want to deny me again. No matter how much I pleaded with her, she kept telling me it would be worth the wait.

  There was no way I could wait to see her later. So as soon as I got home I called her cell and imagine the puzzled look on her face when she heard our song, ‘Insatiable,’ play instead of that stupid house number she had as her ringtone. I’d changed it when she’d gone to the bathroom to put her bikini on.

  Lily always kept one in the car, and she’d brought it from her trunk to my car as we left her apartment. I also informed her I’d deleted that tool, Luca’s number as well. She wasn’t going to need that any more.

  “So, shall we start the call again?”

  She giggled at me. “Sure.” I hummed some of the introduction from ‘Insatiable.’

  Lily played along. “Hello?”

  “Hey,” I smirked and added, “I love you, baby.”

  “I love you too. Why did you call me?” she chuckled.

  Smiling, I said, “Because.”

  There was a long pause then Lily said, “Are you still there?”

  “Uh, huh.”

  There was a smile in her voice, “Okay, you were telling me why you called.”

  Chuckling, I said, “I did.”

  “Nope, you didn’t.”

  “Seriously, Lily? I did. I told you I called because.”

  “You’ve lost me, Alfie. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “You need me to expand?”

  She giggled again, “Expand what?”

  Pretending to be annoyed I told her, “I called you because…because I can do that now. Because I love you. Because I wanted to hear your sweet voice, with that sexy accent. Because I know you just got out of the shower and might possibly be naked. I called you, because I can’t wait for tonight. Because I love you; I said that already right? I also called because I can’t wait for tomorrow night to hold you in my arms. So you see, Lily, I called you ‘because’.”

  “Wow,” she panted breathlessly. “Alfie, I think I just fell in love with you a little more after that.”

  “Did you know that because is a ‘wow’ word?” she asked.

  “Why?” I asked puzzled.

  “Because anything that’s said after because is what makes the sentence have reason. I love you Alfie, and wow, I’ve finally realized you are my ‘because.’” Damn and my heart burst at those words.

  Christmas Eve night was fun at Eject. There was a huge private party and the club had a big VIP section, and there were people here from different disciplines within the arts, all getting to mingle together.

  A great mix of people to be around as well, all famous and most were just as humble as before but there was the occasional one who thought their particular talent was better than any in the same field. Boy, were they gonna fall on their asses at some point. “Taller the climb the greater the fall,” my mom said.

  As far as I was concerned, I’d never think I was more important than anyone else, because if I did, I’d want someone like Drew or Andy or even Jack to tell me to get the fuck down from that high horse and treat everyone like they are someone.

  Really, I was going through the motions and wishing it was Christmas Day already because maybe I’d get to spend some time alone with Lily. When I asked her if she was ready to leave, I was relieved when she told me she was. I was all out of socializing credits and just wanted to be me.

  Thank God for Henry, he picked us up around the back and started to drive us home. I leaned in and kissed Lily, “Mmm…I can’t wait until tomorrow. Spending Christmas with you is something I have dreamed about. I never thought it would ever happen.”

  “Henry can we go to Alfie’s first?” Looking puzzled at Lily, she explained that she wanted me there to wake up to on Christmas morning.

  I was ecstatic. “Seriously? You’ve changed your mind, I can stay with you?”

  Frantic, would be the best description for how I was running around gathering everything I needed to take to Lily’s for Christmas. By the
time I went back to the car, I was laden down with all kinds of stuff. “Jesus, Alfie, I haven’t asked you to move in with me. It’s one night.” I glanced at the trundle case on wheels and chuckled.

  “It’s Christmas, I had a list drawn up and got my PA to shop for me today. I wasn’t shirking my responsibilities. It’s just that I didn’t want to spend time shopping instead of spending it with you.”

  Holding her hand, I faced her. “I did take the time to shop for your present though. I didn’t want anyone else to do that,” I smirked and kissed her hand, as I thought about the fun item I had stashed away.

  Her dad stared at me, but tolerated me because I seemed to be making Lily happy, but then Lily disappeared for a discussion with her parents, I presumed, because they were suddenly absent from the sitting room, and I was left with Jack’s parents.

  Charlie and Roslyn came back and were like different people after Lily was done with them. Actually, once we cleared the air, Charlie and I had a chat about Lily.

  “So, you know if you hurt my daughter again Alfie, I will gut you?” he said smiling but the threat was very real. I knew her dad liked hunting. Lily Had met Saffy, when their dad’s met up during a hunting trip, and Saffy was the reason Lily ended up in Florida in the first place.

  “I never intended to hurt her, Mr. Parnell. We got off on the wrong foot, and kept going along the same line, that’s all.”

  Charlie looked at me and nodded, “And now? You’re on a different line?”

  Smiling, I ran my hand through my hair, nervous because I was going to show this man, her father and the most important man in Lily’s life, what Lily meant to me.

  “Well, Mr. Parnell, I was kinda hoping that somewhere down the line in the not too distant future to be asking for her hand.” Glancing at her dad, his face was stoic, and he stared at me for about a minute. Part of me wanted to look away, but there was no way I could let him unnerve me now that I’d dropped that particular bomb.

  “And if I said yes? What would Lily’s life be like with you? Would she be a rock star’s wife? Paraded out for events and abandoned at home while you have the time of your life out there?”

  Damn, I could have kicked the asses of all the hell raiser rock band artists out there for putting me in this position. “Mr. Parnell.” Putting his hand up, he crossed his leg, his ankle resting on the other knee, “Charlie, you need to call me Charlie, I’m not your math teacher for God’s sake.”

  Snickering I started again, hoping that this was the right thing to do. Lily and I had just barely got back together, and I was sticking my neck out, desperate for her dad’s approval. I knew without it I wouldn’t have Lily either.

  “Charlie, I know this might seem odd to you, and I may appear to be the tattooed bad boy.” Looking at his face, he’d lifted his eyebrow in a challenge. “Alright, I’m in a rock band. A pretty successful rock band. However, that’s my job. Not who I am. On stage I am Alfie Black; musician, rocker, and public property. Off stage, I’m Alfie Black; the guy who got it so wrong for so long with your daughter, and is now breaking his balls to win her back.”

  Charlie stared at me unimpressed with what I had to say so far.

  “Lily is the only woman for me. Trust me, Charlie when I tell you that. She is my first thought in the morning, she consumes my every waking moment. She’s in here.” I patted my chest. “And here.” I tapped my head. “And she is in my soul. She owns me, Charlie. I am hers. I give myself to her completely. She is my fairy tale ending. My princess.”

  Charlie was rubbing his hands together, his elbows on his knees now, leaning forward in the chair. Staring at me as I spoke.

  “I know you might think, What the fuck? Excuse my language, but what am I doing, interfering in Lily’s life when there are tons of women hanging around me. And what that will do to Lily.” Seeing I had his full attention, I knew whatever I said next would make his mind up about me.

  “Charlie, you know infinity and beyond? That’s where my love for Lily stretches. Nothing compares, nothing will ever compare to Lily. Everything is Lily. I know that word doesn’t sound like much, and it’s not very descriptive, but believe me when Lily is in the room and I look at her, my heart beats only for her. Love with every beat. Every beat is Lily, every thought is Lily, every feeling is Lily, every emotion is Lily. Everything IS Lily.”

  Now, I knew I had rambled, but every word I spoke came straight from my heart, and it was honest. Charlie sat back in his chair.

  “Lily is an extremely special young woman. She is the most precious girl in the world to me. If my daughter feels a tenth of the emotion for you, that you have just demonstrated here, then I’m never going to stand the way of you being together. She tells me she loves you, but what I see is a very wary girl, Alfie. Petrified you’ll play with her heart.”

  Standing up I stated, “I know I did before, and I paid for that dearly. Lily has chosen to give me another chance, and I’m never going to let her regret that decision.”

  Charlie stood and patted my back, then said, “Alfie, you have the makings of a good son, but I want a great one for Lily, show me the great son, and you’ll have my blessing.”

  Jack and Rosie came in and there was a bit of joking around from him about him sleeping in Lily’s bed, which I quickly quashed, before there was an awkward moment when Lily said we were going to bed.

  Leaving the room Lily half ran, half walked to get out of the main sitting area and into the hallway leading to her bedroom. Snickering, as I thought people might see it as Lily keen to get me into her bed.

  Once in the bedroom, I closed the door and leaned against it, “Your family and friends are amazing, Lily. I can’t believe I’m here with you.”

  Lily pulled her lip and stared at me. “I’m not having sex with you tonight Alfie, remember that.” Staring back, I replied, “Whatever you want, Lily. I’m just glad to be here.”

  We showered separately, her returning afterwards in her towel, and when I came back she was under the comforter. Then there was the worry about getting into bed, because I didn’t believe I could keep my hands off of her when I lay down beside her.

  Lily had turned off the bedside light. That moment, when she was lying in bed waiting for me, was one I never ever thought would happen again. Nervous I was going to bulldoze in and take what I wanted anyway.

  Placing my clothes over the ottoman at the bottom of the bed, I turned the bathroom light out, and just stood still—trying to figure out how the hell I was going to get into her bed and not go hard, and not touch her.

  “Alfie, what’s the matter?”

  Clearing my throat, I worked a swallow. “Not too sure I can get in there with you, Lily.”

  “Come sit on the bed,” Lily coaxed, but I couldn’t move. The sexual tension was intense between us, and I was petrified I’d fuck up by just taking her. There was no controling my feelings when it came to her.

  “Maybe I should have let Jack in here after all.”

  Growling, I said, “Not fucking funny, Lily. I like him, but I hate that he’s rubbed his dick on your ass when he’s lay beside you in bed.”

  “It isn’t like that Alfie.”

  “It wasn’t like that, Alfie,” I corrected her. “That bastard is never touching you again, understand? I can just about tolerate the sexual flirting and shit, but not that.”

  “Alfie, I haven’t allowed Jack to sleep in my bed since he’s been with Rosie. He’s learning that it seemed harmless fun when we were kids and weren’t in relationships, but as adults, it definitely isn’t acceptable. He was joking tonight. I’ll speak to him though. It isn’t fair to you or to Rosie.”

  “Okay, Alfie are you ready to get into bed now? I’m tired, and I really do have to help with lunch tomorrow.” Again, I couldn’t move, so Lily got out of bed and stood beside me.

  “Come on, you can do this. I promise you it will be nice. We owe it to us to take this slowly, just for one more day. Actually less than that, it’s about three am now.”
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  Leading me to the bed, Lily dropped her hand, and I crawled over to her side of the bed. When I lay down I could smell her scent on the pillowcase. I smiled and inhaled deeply. “The pillow smells like your hair.”

  Lying beside Lily felt incredible. Knowing she was next to me gave me a feeling of calmness I wasn’t expecting. Reaching out I took her hand and squeezed it, “I love you, my little Lily. Merry Christmas.”

  Lily squeezed mine back. “Alfie, I’ve never stopped loving you. Tonight, this moment… it’s all my Christmas wishes coming true at the same time.”

  There was a strained silence as we both lay, not trusting ourselves to touch anything except our hands, and we both managed to stay strong until we fell asleep.

  Chapter 52 – Picture That

  When I woke up we were lying on our sides, me facing her back. Even in sleep my body was so attuned to hers. My arm was over her hip and my hand was spread possessively across her lower belly. Feeling her warm skin underneath mine was amazing.

  Resisting her was difficult, but I made a small concession by strumming my thumb and drawing lazy circles on her with it, and thanked God for guiding her back to me. I was careful not to touch her anywhere else because if I had, it would have been putting my needs before Lily’s, and I’d done that far too many times already.

  Stirring and stretching lazily she laced her fingers in mine before turning to face me. “Hey,” I said softly, smiling contentedly at her.

  “Morning. Merry Christmas,” she husked.

  Gazing into her eyes and her lying next to me, looking all sexy and smiling up at me with those big innocent eyes made my heart thump. Feeling my dick harden as I became excited at what I wanted to do to her and it was almost too much. “Fuck.” The word came out in a rush.