Judi nodded. “It took me a long time to figure out that logistical problem, but obtaining a legitimate Social Security number was crucial if this new identity was to work,” she explained. “I had to get a job. To provide a false number would only gain me a year, maybe two at most, before the jig would be up and I’d be on the run again.”
“But you came up with a plan,” he remarked assuredly, regarding her with new awareness in his eyes.
“Do you remember my work with the Hampton House?”
“Of course,” he acknowledged. “You volunteered once or twice a week with the developmentally delayed handicapped children and adults.”
She smiled, remembering those she had come to care a great deal about. “I came up with a plan to take one of the adult patients with me. Tracy Stecky! I took the birth certificate I’d obtained in Allegheny County and told the Social Security clerk that Tracy was Amanda and that she would need to apply for benefits soon. Since she was never able to work due to the severity of her disability, they never questioned why she didn’t have a number previously.” She shrugged. “Actually, it was easy.”
“And unbelievably ingenious,” he remarked as Judi sensed a note of wonder and then disappointment in his voice. “Ingenious, but quite illegal.”
Sadly, she had to agree. “Disappearing completely required more than the law would allow.”
“You’ve broken a number of laws—some very seriously.” He drew a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Even the federal government will be on your case with the fraudulent Social Security number.”
“After the city, county, and state have a go at me,” she added grimly. “I know the law well enough to easily envision the mile-long list of charges that will flow from one prosecutor to another. It should be enough to keep several of them busy for quite a long time.”
“Along with the life insurance company asking for their money back,” he speculated. “That might be a problem.”
Judi’s head jerked up and she felt a pang of hurt. “You’ve spent it?”
“Not exactly,” he answered, taking a deep breath. “Twenty-five thousand dollars of it I gave to the Hampton House in your name. The rest is sitting in a bank account.”
Judi’s heart swelled with hope and fear at the same time. “You did that for me?”
“I knew you would have wanted it,” he responded awkwardly. Sadness overtook his face. “I couldn’t have spent a penny of the money on myself.”
She sagged back into the seat. “This is getting complicated.”
“I agree!” Nathan bent forward and pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes. “It might have been better if I’d never searched for you and even better if I’d never found you. It’s been like opening Pandora’s box.”
“What you really mean,” Judi clarified, “is I’m like Pandora’s box.” When he let his hands drop and looked at her with a degree of uncertainty, she could see extreme exhaustion in his eyes. “Oh, I already know it. Everything I touch and everyone I know is somehow affected by me that way. Even my own mother left, and eventually my brother took off for Florida and never returned.”
“You really believe you’re the cause of these events?”
“Yes,” she told him quietly. “Just look at your family. Did I ever do anything to your parents? Yet they treated me like the plague.” Reluctantly, she met his gaze. “And you let them.” Saying the words ripped through her chest like fiery knives. It was true! Nathan always tried to soothe the tensions between them and his parents, but not once had she ever heard him defend her honor. Because he knew what everyone else knew—she wasn’t good enough.
“I had no idea you felt that way.”
Judi heaved a sigh. “Why is it that other people just live their lives, but I have to scratch and claw for everything?” Their eyes locked. “When I came to the island as Judi Rydell, they accepted me for who I was. I was finally free to live life as others do.” A fresh wave of despondency came over her. It was a freedom that would soon end. The prospect of losing what she valued so highly hurt terribly. The very people who taught her how to truly love God and trusted her implicitly would soon find out her secret and realize how undeserving she was of that trust. It would devastate those in the church. “I’m tired of fighting life by outwitting others with tricks up my sleeve.”
There was a moment of silence until he said very gently, “Then it’s time you stop trying to bend life around you and begin bending yourself. Maybe you need to start trusting a little more in yourself and giving others the benefit of the doubt.” When she began to protest, he stopped her. “We promised to face this thing God’s way and that will require both of us to bend. I never realized you blamed yourself for your family’s troubles, and I suppose I have to share part of that responsibility for not seeing this before. Besides, you’re right, as a husband, my place was to protect you—even from my own family.”
“Nathan—”
“Wait until I finish,” he interrupted softly. “I’m convinced that with God’s help, we can get through this thing.” He rubbed his hands together thoughtfully. “I’m equally convinced we need to keep clear minds to continue sorting through the details of what everything means.” He swiped his hand across the back of his neck. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve just about hit my saturation level for one day.”
Judi let her gaze roam over his face. She was again struck by the lines of fatigue on his handsome features, the dark five o’clock shadow accentuating his deep chin cleft, and the vulnerability of his candid gaze. Her throat constricted at the sight and more at the fierce emotions accompanying her thoughts. Love! It was love stretching out from behind the locked door of her heart. Right now, at this very moment, she loved Nathan more than she’d ever loved anyone.
“I’m going to head back to my cabin,” he told her, obviously unaware of her churning emotions. He stood up. “We both need our sleep. Tomorrow morning I’ll start working on a way to help you. I’d like you to go about your day as usual at the church.” He looked at her questioningly. “Can you do that? Then I’ll stop by and pick you up for lunch.”
Quickly, she drew herself out of the chair. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look beat.” Thankfully they had retrieved his car earlier so he could leave right from her place, but the truth was—she didn’t want him to go. Then the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. “There’s an extra room here.”
Something passed across his features she couldn’t read. He shook his head. “That’s not a good idea.”
Disappointed, she only nodded. “It was just a suggestion. But please be careful.”
He moved toward her and gave a weak smile. “I will.”
When he paused long enough, she waited in hope that the look on his face was more than just concern over the situation, but concern for her. Slowly, he bent and gave her a quick peck on the forehead. “Everything will be all right.”
With that he wordlessly turned around and walked to the door, closing it silently behind him, leaving Judi looking at the white decorative wood. It was as if the warmth had suddenly been sucked out of the room and left a cold, damp chill in its place. Already she missed the man whom she had previously hoped to never see again. It was craziness! She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt she still loved him, and right now it was coming at her full force. But why? Because he believed her story? Because she finally believed in him? Because he was finally stepping forward as her protector? If possible, the love she felt was deeper and more encompassing than the day they married.
And it scared her!
She was about to lose everything, even if Nathan assured her he’d find a way to fix the problem. What if he couldn’t? What if she went to prison? What if God chose not to intercede? Could she bear to lose Nathan all over again?
eight
Nathan opened his laptop computer on the kitchen table and flipped it on, turning the screen away from the morning sun. It was already past eight o’clock. He should have rolled himsel
f out of bed at his usual time three hours ago, but he gave in to the fatigue claiming his body and burrowed in for a few extra hours. A hot shower welcomed him into the day, along with a strong cup of black coffee. Still he was drained. It made him question whether Judi had awakened yet. She would be due at work in less than an hour.
He had almost called her earlier to make sure but stopped short. Last night he was having trouble keeping his eyes focused, much less his thoughts. Seeing Judi for the first time in two years brought the enormity of his anger to the forefront until it slowly gave way to a painful bout of incomprehension, protectiveness, and then—what? If he wasn’t careful, he’d fall for her all over again. He could feel the old familiar draw and knew this would be a dangerous path to follow.
She’d lied to him in the past, craftily enough to whiz right under his usual radar of perception without detection. Then her death had wrung him dry. He wasn’t sure he could withstand another blow. Nevertheless, she was still his wife and whatever had passed between them couldn’t change that fact. He would do whatever he could to shield her from the maniac who wrote the notes—and the law, if it came to that. The price would be steep! There was no naïveté toward the outcome. He stood to lose a great deal.
The computer came alive, and Nathan pulled his glasses out from the case, resting them squarely across his nose. Much better! Yesterday would have been so much easier if he’d remembered to take them. He let his finger roll across the pad, tapping where needed until his e-mail program opened. Quickly, he scanned the mounting mail as it downloaded. One caught his attention. Thomas had written only one word late last night: Urgent!
Without waiting he flipped open his cell phone, scrolled through the numbers, and connected. When Thomas answered, he pulled his glasses off and propped them on the top of his head.
“What’s up?” he asked, not bothering to identify himself.
“You got my message, sir. Good!” Thomas cleared his throat and lowered his voice. “You need to get back here right away.”
Nathan heard voices in the background. “Where are you and can you talk?”
“Hold on, sir.” A minute passed as the noise gradually faded until there was silence. “All right, I’m back. The Speaker of the House only gave you a one-day reprieve on the eminent domain bill. If you don’t get back here by Friday, we might have to wait until the September session starts again to get this bill passed.”
“I thought we had another week or two before the session was out for the summer,” Nathan replied, trying to remember his calendar. His life at the statehouse already seemed like weeks ago.
“We did have two weeks,” explained Thomas, “but they passed the budget yesterday, much sooner than expected.”
“I missed the budget!” Nathan couldn’t believe it. How many times had they haggled for weeks over one line item after another, inevitably holding up the vote until the deadline of July 1?
“We were all surprised, sir,” Thomas commiserated. “But now that the budget is passed, they want to recess early. A sort of bonus, I guess, for all their hard work.”
Nathan had to think. “The speaker is willing to put my bill on the floor Friday? That’s two days from now.”
“Yes, sir. I already told him you had a family emergency, and he’s willing to keep the session open until you can get back since you are the prime sponsor of the bill—but the sooner the better. If you wait until next week, they might pressure him to postpone it until the fall or at the very least, your fellow representatives might vote against it for spite.” He gave a snort. “You don’t mess with their time off.”
“Don’t I know it!” Nathan drummed his fingers on the table. This would shove his timetable downhill like a runaway locomotive. He had no other option. “All right! I’ll be back by Thursday night. Have the committee ready and in place.”
“I will, sir!” Thomas assured and then paused. “How’s everything on your end going?”
“Very problematical! Has anyone been asking questions?”
“Just Lindsey.”
Nathan blew out a mouthful of air. “What did you tell her?”
“I told her you were out of town attending business, sir. She seemed very anxious to talk with you.”
“I’ll call her!”
“Anything else, sir?”
“Thomas…” Nathan paused a moment to gather the right words. “Things might get ugly very soon. It’s imperative that you keep this matter about Bay Island out of sight until this bill is passed. The people are counting on me to protect their property rights, and the opposition’s too strong to wait for others in the committee to try to gather support again in the fall. I might not be there to rally a comeback.”
“What are you saying, sir? You’re going to step down from office?”
“I don’t think I’m going to have a choice.” The words nearly stuck in his throat. All of his life he’d wanted to make a difference and finally he’d achieved the position to do it on a grand scale. If God saw fit to let him keep his post, Nathan would be most grateful, but realistically, he didn’t expect it.
“Then I wish you best of luck on the island, sir.”
“I need more than luck,” he said. “I need God’s intervention.”
“Yes, sir.”
“I’ll call you as soon as I get back.” Nathan closed the phone thoughtfully and laid it on the table.
He would have to call Lindsey. She might call his parents and have them worried enough to cause trouble. He already had his fill of trouble. Reluctantly, he opened his phone and scrolled the numbers again until her name appeared. It rang only twice before she picked up.
“Where have you been?” Lindsey scolded, her restless voice shooting through the airwaves. “I’ve been worried sick. You weren’t at the house, and Thomas wouldn’t tell me where you were.”
“Everything is all right,” he soothed, instantly regretting the lie. He’d promised to do things God’s way and that included the avoidance of perjury, no matter how innocent. “I can’t explain right now, but I need to talk with you when I get back.”
“But where are you?” she asked, her voice rising with anxiety.
“I’ll explain that, too, when I get home.” He pulled the glasses off the top of his head and placed them on the table. “I need you to be patient.”
“Why do I get the feeling that something is terribly wrong?”
“Probably because I’ve never been evasive with you before,” he answered honestly. “Can you trust me on this?”
“I suppose,” she answered somewhat hesitantly.
“I’ll be home soon.”
“Soon enough for our dinner engagement with my parents tonight?” There was a hint of hurt in her voice as if she already knew the answer.
“Lindsey, I completely forgot!” Nathan could have kicked himself for not placing the date in his planner. Thomas could have headed this off. It was just the beginning of the damage he was going to cause her, and he hated it. “I’m so sorry,” he apologized with genuine grief. “Please send my regrets to your parents.”
“I wish I knew what was going on, Nathan,” she said pleadingly. “Maybe I could help.”
“I know you would help if you could, but there’s nothing you can do.” Nathan pinched his nose between his thumb and finger. “I promise you’ll understand fully when I get back and explain everything.” She would understand the situation better, but he also knew she wouldn’t like it.
“Can you tell me when you’ll be coming home?”
“I’ll be back in time for us to get together either late Friday or Saturday,” he answered vaguely.
“Then I’ll wait for your call,” she returned with conviction. “I have total faith in you.”
Nathan winced, feeling as though he’d been slammed in the chest. “I know.”
“You will call when you get home?” she asked, her insecurity resurfacing.
“Promise!”
“Please be careful,” she went on, “and I love y
ou.”
Another kick to the gut. “I know.” He wouldn’t give her the chance to question why he didn’t reciprocate the words and hurriedly ended the call. “Be good. I’ll call you soon.”
He couldn’t snap the phone closed fast enough. He felt like a total, absolute heel. Lindsey was an innocent bystander who would be crushed under when the steamroller started moving at Judi’s official comeback.
It wasn’t fair to her. He and Lindsey had a comfortable relationship. For his part he had no illusions of profound love for her—all of which she accepted. But he did care for the woman.
Sure, he could say the obligatory I-love-you when the situation seemed right, but it wasn’t a love like he’d had with Judi. There would never be another love like that in a lifetime.
Lindsey had been the right woman at the right time. She was beautiful, smart, and exciting. Marrying her seemed the reasonable thing to do; he was lonely, his family loved her, she was good for his political career and made him feel wanted.
Only one thing had stood in his way, causing him to hesitate about setting a wedding date—she didn’t believe in God. It was quite simple to her—life was life, and then it was over. Finished! One day you exist, the next day you were gone.
Nathan, conversely, couldn’t reconcile the two of them living in unity with their faith, or lack thereof, at opposite poles. It probably would have never worked out in the end, but he certainly didn’t want to conclude their relationship like this. He thanked God that his hesitation saved Lindsey and himself from an even more unbearable and intolerable situation. Not that the current news wouldn’t be any less demoralizing to her.
His head was beginning to ache from the complexity of the moment. He’d assured Judi that with God’s help he would find a way out of this problem. It was a tall order he wasn’t sure could be delivered.
He took a tired breath and stood up. It would be so easy to walk away and let each of them live their lives as they had done for the past two years. He could keep his job in the Pennsylvania House, and she could continue the new life she loved. Everyone would be happy—except for God. Okay… he wouldn’t be happy either. How could he be happy to marry the love of his life, lose her, find her again, and then leave her under such circumstances?
Bay Hideaway Page 9