Only God can!
thirteen
Judi stood alone in the master bedroom slowly turning in a circle to take in the surroundings. The memorable sights and smells belonging to her previous life were coming alive and rushing at her with thrusters on full burn, penetrating her soul with unbearable longing. It was as if she was returning to the pages of a suspenseful but unfinished novel she laid aside years ago. With a heavy sigh, she sank onto the king-size bed and absently smoothed out a crease along the wedding ring quilt.
Like a fog lifting, she could feel her heart respond to the surroundings. She had purposely closed away these pictures of her past and now they were being dusted off and put back into service.
She wished Nathan was with her at this moment; but in the silence of their house, she was quite alone.
Instead, Nathan was with Lindsey, explaining what he couldn’t convey in a phone conversation. He hadn’t volunteered any insight into what he was going to say to the woman, and Judi had been too afraid to ask. With a sense of foreboding, she watched him back out of the driveway and speed off toward the west end of town. It was hard not to worry about the outcome of his visit with this woman who also claimed to love him, but Judi had to preserve her physical and emotional energy to focus on what was scheduled next—her father. It was a visit she dreaded but desperately needed in order to understand why her father would have done such a thing.
How was she going to get through this meeting with her father when she’d been a total basket case just listening to Nathan’s phone conversation with him? There had evidently been some hesitancy at her father’s end of the line when Nathan explained his urgent need to see him, but Nathan had been firm and the older man eventually agreed to meet.
If that weren’t enough, Nathan’s entire family would be gathering at the house in less than four hours. Although she understood the necessity for the announcement of her return to be quick and efficiently executed, the sheer weight of the project besieged her. Nathan had warned that the media would be onto them within twenty-four hours and they needed to reach their family members before it had a chance to blow up. He had already been in contact with the statehouse, though she didn’t know the particulars. Nathan wouldn’t discuss it—not yet.
Judi took a deep breath and blew it out between pursed lips. Her gaze landed on the jewelry box sitting cockeyed on the dresser—her jewelry box. Getting up, she made her way across the room and carefully lifted the lid. Several glittering gems sparkled in the light. Piece by piece she examined the necklaces and rings, tilting her favorite opal ring to see the brilliant fire of color. Slowly she placed the ring back in the holder and continued her search. Her grandmother’s ruby brooch was glaringly absent.
It was then she saw another ring—a gold band.
Nathan’s wedding ring.
Carefully she lifted the ring and held it between her fingers. The beaded edge was slightly worn and Judi smiled sadly. The jeweler had explained that over the years the edging of their matching rings would eventually wear down into a radiant, shiny gold—a tribute to a long and happy marriage, the man had said.
Judi wondered how long Nathan had worn the ring before taking it off for the final time and placing it in the dormant jewelry box. What went through his mind when the decision came? Lost in thought, she stared at the gold band.
There was a slight sound from behind and suddenly she knew she was no longer alone. Slowly she turned to see Nathan leaning against the doorjamb watching her, his face solemn. For a long moment neither spoke.
“I thought you might be in here,” he finally said, breaking the spell of the silence. His tired eyes pivoted to the ring she held then back to her. He gently pushed off from the door frame and came near. “My wedding band.”
Judi nodded, instantly feeling intrusive. “I’ll put it back.”
His hand shot out and captured hers. “I don’t want it back in the box.”
Confused, but hopeful, she looked up to meet his captivating gaze. The expression on his face made mincemeat of her insides. He was fighting against the same stresses threatening to take her under and yet there was vivid fire in his eyes. With awareness he took the ring from her hand and slid it over his finger.
“This past week has thrown my entire world into a vortex of chaos.” Nathan’s voice was low and expressive. “So many choices and possible directions to go.” He gave a slight shake of his head. “I had no idea what I was going to say to handle Lindsey today, and I asked God to show me how to make an impossible situation a possible thing for Him.”
“And what did He show you?” Her breath felt suspended as her chest ached for the answer.
“That I have already committed to love and cherish the woman I married.” Nathan gently took her face between his hands. “We said it would be for better or for worse. We’re experiencing the ‘worse’ part now, and I’m willing to hold out for the ‘better’ portion to come.” He sighed. “I’ve not always been the best husband. I know that!”
“It’s not true,” Judi cried, clasping her hands over his. “I’m the one to blame. It was immature of me to be jealous of your political work. I should have trusted you enough to know your long hours of work weren’t a reflection that you loved your job more than me—or that you weren’t trying to get rid of me. If only I had come to you. I’m so sorry!”
Nathan leaned closer. “We’ve both made mistakes in the past, but we have to look to the future. We have something very solid to bond us together that was missing before.”
“God!”
“Are you willing to see if God can bring us together as one again?”
“Willing?” she cried, drawing one hand endearingly down his chin. “I’ve been desperately praying for it.”
Nathan imprisoned her hand and pulled her close, his lips beginning an exploration of her face, kissing her cheeks, chin, and eyes, moving into the hollow of her neck. “I’ve missed you so much. When you disappeared—”
The obvious pain in his voice tore at her heart, and she gently put her fingers to his lips and hushed him. “I’m here now and I promise to stay this time.” Judi felt a great surge of happiness when he kissed her again.
Slowly he pulled her back. “I wish we didn’t have to deal with our families this afternoon.”
Judi sagged against his chest feeling the tightening of his grasp. “I can do anything as long as you’re beside me, Nathan.”
“I love you, Judith!”
Closing her eyes, she reveled in the depth of his tone, the beauty of his words. For several minutes they stayed in the close embrace, Judi never wanting to leave the warmth of his touch.
Suddenly, she heard a gasp from the doorway and both jerked toward the sound. Nathan’s sister stood in the doorway, her mouth gaping in utter surprise.
“Judi?”
“Are you sure Laurie’s going to be all right by herself?” Judi asked when they pulled out of the driveway. “She looked absolutely floored.”
Nathan sent her a sideways glance. “She’ll be okay! I never thought she might make it into town this early and use the spare key. That was my fault.” He looked in the side-view mirror before changing lanes. “I’m sure my cryptic message insisting that she meet at the house tonight with the rest of the family sent her into a panic.”
“She won’t tell the rest of your family before tonight, will she?” Judi looked at him doubtfully.
“She promised not to, but one can never tell.”
Remembering the shocked expression on Laurie’s face sent shivers through Judi. If Laurie had reacted with such alarm, Judi could only imagine how her own father was going to respond. Her hands were beginning to sweat as they drew closer, finally turning into her father’s driveway.
Nathan turned to her. “Stay in the car until I give you the signal. We don’t want to give him a heart attack. Let me talk with him first.”
Mutely, she nodded and once again sent up a prayer for guidance. Nathan got out of the car and walked onto the p
orch stoop and rapped on the door. She saw the front door open and a second later Nathan disappeared inside. Nervously, she clenched her hands together, feeling the tremors of apprehension coursing through them. Her emotions were seesawing with joy from Nathan’s affirmation of love and God’s mercy to exonerate her from criminal litigation, to despair over her father’s behavior—and over seventy-five thousand dollars in debts she had no idea how to pay.
Suddenly Nathan appeared at the front door, beckoning her to come. As she opened the car door, she caught a glimpse of her father trying to see around Nathan. When she reached the front steps and then the door, she heard his surprised intake of breath.
“It can’t be true,” her father sputtered as he hurriedly skirted around Nathan and embraced her with a fierce hug that threatened to break her ribs. He pulled her back to look into her face. “It’s you. It’s really you!” Once again, he held her close, and she felt him shudder, a sob reverberating against her shoulder.
“I’ve missed you, Daddy,” she exclaimed, tears forming in her eyes as she looked questioningly at Nathan. The old man seemed genuinely overcome with elation at her return. How could he be the one who’d sent her such hateful letters? “Can we talk, Daddy?”
Reluctantly, her father released his hold and stepped back, wiping his face against the sleeve of his worn shirt. His thinning gray hair looked unkempt and wild, a scraggly three-day beard prickled over his jowls.
“Let me straighten up a little so we’ll have a place to sit,” her father said, immediately setting about to clear strewn newspapers from the couch. He dumped the papers behind a chair and turned to the couple, thrusting out an anxious hand indicating for them to sit. “When Nathan told me you were alive, I just couldn’t believe it. I’m not sure I can believe it now even though I see you.” He dropped into a chair and shook his head as if to clear his mind. “What happened to you? Where have you been all this time?”
Judi sat on the edge of the sagging couch within easy reach of her father. “I’ve been living on an island off Lake Erie for the past two years. The drowning accident never happened. It was all a fake.”
Stanley Porter cradled his forehead with one hand. “A fake? But why?” Then he turned to Nathan. “You knew about this?”
“Listen to me, Daddy,” Judi intervened, touching her father’s knee. “Nathan didn’t know anything about it until last week.” She waited until her father looked at her again. “I left because someone was sending me threatening notes. I feared for my safety and yours.” Contritely she gave Nathan a look. “I mistakenly thought Nathan had sent them. I was wrong!”
“You faked your own death because of those letters?” The old man’s face paled. “That can’t be!”
Judi pressed on, her heart thumping wildly. “Did you write those letters?”
“Me!” A haunted look pierced his eyes.
“I need to know the truth.”
The old man seemed winded, his eyes darting riotously. “It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this.”
“Like what?”
“You were supposed to come back home to me,” he blurted breathlessly, “not kill yourself.”
Judi looked at Nathan, who shrugged his shoulders and nodded for her to keep talking. “I don’t understand. Why was I supposed to come home?”
There was agony on the man’s face. “Don’t you see? Nathan didn’t love you, and his family was killing your spirit day by day with their uppity snobbery. I could see how unhappy you were.”
“But the letters were so… hurtful.” Judi had to pause a moment to gain control of her voice. “How were those awful notes going to help me be happy?”
“By coming home where you belong!” her father answered, one shaky hand resting on his knee. “I wanted you to come to me for help, but when you didn’t come, I figured you might have gone to Nathan about the notes. That just wouldn’t do. He didn’t care about you. He only cared about making money and being a famous politician.” He looked accusingly at Nathan. “You know it’s true!”
Judi closed her eyes for a second. “Oh, Daddy!”
“Don’t you see? I had to change tactics. That’s when I stuffed the chimney flue with a bird’s nest after sending you the letter about the carbon monoxide. I thought for sure if you believed Nathan was trying to harm me, you’d have to come to me then.” His voice cracked. “But you died instead! I assumed you’d been so distraught that you committed suicide.”
“Is that why you’ve treated Nathan so badly?” Judi asked. “You thought he was ultimately responsible for making those threatening letters necessary? That was wrong, Daddy, no matter what your reasons were.”
The old man nodded. “He’s no good for you, Judi.”
“Daddy, he’s the man I love.” Her voice was gaining strength. “You shouldn’t have tried to come between Nathan and me. We would have worked it out.”
Nathan rested a comforting hand on Judi’s back and began to speak. “Sir, I do take partial responsibility. You were right about the fact that I should have been a better husband and not let my family treat her with disrespect. I plan to change all that.” He stared back at her father’s wide-eyed expression. “We can’t alter what’s already happened. We can only move forward. In light of that, Judi and I have agreed that it would be of no use for anyone else to know that you wrote those notes. We would like to clear the slate.”
“He’s right, Daddy,” Judi chimed in. “We want you to be part of our lives.” She grew serious. “But you have to promise not to interfere with our marriage again. That’s between Nathan and me.”
“But what are you going to do now?” her father asked, consternation on his face.
“I don’t know!” Judi answered truthfully.
Stanley looked at Nathan. “You don’t have any plans?”
“We have a lot of details to work out with our attorney, families, and my career,” Nathan told him. “My first priority, however, is to protect Judi, and I’ll do what it takes to accomplish that. In the meantime, we’re going to go wherever God leads us.”
“God?” The word sounded foreign on her father’s lips.
For the next few minutes, Judi expressed how God had miraculously changed their lives. “God can help you as much as He’s helped us. You need Him.”
The old man shook his head. “I don’t have time for no religion.”
“I’m not talking about religion, Daddy,” she said with a rueful smile. “I’m talking about a personal relationship with Christ.”
Her father took a deep breath. “Another time, Judi.”
Nathan cautioned her with a nod. “I think he’s been through enough for one day. He’s still in shock by your appearance.” He looked at his watch. “And we need to get back to the house before my family comes.”
“You’ll be coming back, right?” There was alarm in her father’s voice.
Judi stood and gave him a big hug. “I’m not going anywhere. I already promised Nathan I’d never run off again.”
It was a promise she planned to keep!
Nathan rounded the street corner and spotted three cars in the driveway. That could only mean Laurie had spilled the beans and the family was already gathered. Great! Just great! The day had been extremely draining, and he wondered if he would be able to keep pace on the last leg of the relay.
The visit with Lindsey had taken a toll on him. She had gone from being devastated and angry one minute to cajoling and pleading the very next. Just when she seemed accepting of the inevitable, she would beg him to reconsider what he was doing. Nathan was torn by her grief, but no amount of pain could keep him from making the decision he knew God wanted—the one he himself desired. Judi’s response to him confirmed he had made the right choice.
“Nathan, your family is already here,” Judi said with dismay.
“I know.” Nathan parked the car behind his parents’ luxury sedan and shut off the engine. He saw the living room curtains move and felt several pairs of eyes on them. “Laurie never
could keep a secret.”
“I was hoping to have time to talk with you before meeting them,” Judi remarked jadedly, clutching her purse.
“I know! There’s so much we have to discuss.”
“Before we go in, I want to show you something.” Judi rummaged around inside her purse and brought out a velvet bag. Tipping it up, a glimmering diamond ring and band spilled into her hands.
Nathan looked at the jewelry. “Your wedding rings.”
“I brought them with me, hoping…” The color heightened in her cheeks. “I thought maybe, if you didn’t mind, I’d like to wear them again.”
Taking the rings from her trembling hand, he placed them on her finger. “I was hoping you still had them.” He gently kissed her, feeling the warmth of her lips. She tasted so sweet.
The sound of the front door opening caused him to sit back with a sigh of exhaustion and look over at his parents standing impatiently in the doorway. He unsnapped his seat belt.
“Be brave,” he instructed, squeezing Judi’s hands.
Utter chaos reigned for the first five minutes when they entered the house. Questions began flying back and forth until Nathan’s head ached.
“Quiet!” The loud reverberation of his voice instantly had an effect and a hush settled over the room. “I can’t answer twenty questions at one time. I’ve already explained that Judi’s drowning did not happen, and I’ve told you about the threatening letters that caused this whole chain of events.”
“Have you seen these notes?” his normally soft-spoken father asked, throwing a suspicious glance Judi’s way. “You say she knows who wrote the letters, but you won’t tell us. How do you know these letters even existed?”
Nathan gave his father a stern look, a rush of anger coming over him at his father’s tone. “Yes, I have seen the notes, and yes, I know who wrote them. It will serve no purpose for you to know the identity of this person.”
“But—” His mother began to interrupt, holding up her delicate hand.
“Let’s get something straight.” Nathan’s voice grew harsh as he looked from face to face. “Judi has been treated shamefully by this family, and I will not let it happen again. It’s time I stood up and acted like the man of this house. Maybe we were wrong to go off and get married without anyone knowing, but that doesn’t give anyone in this room the right to bully or slight her. She is my wife, and we come as a package deal. You’ll treat her as you treat me.”
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