by Lucy Gage
The elation of being in bed with Reggie lasted as long as he was still with her. As soon as he drove toward Malibu, the energy faded.
When he found himself stuck in the ridiculous L.A. traffic, he was faced with time alone to think and nothing he could do to escape the routes his brain took.
He’d always really liked Reggie. She was fun, cool and never disappointing in bed. Before Jenna, she was his sole lover who was remotely regular in frequency and the only one of the three woman he genuinely enjoyed other than in bed.
No matter what he tried to tell himself, she couldn’t compare to Jenna. The idea that Jenna could see other people or even sleep with someone else like he’d just done made his skin crawl. How could he be such a fucking hypocrite?
She’d commit if you’d ask, asshole.
But what if she wouldn’t? He didn’t deserve a woman like her, who was brilliant, beautiful and gave him as much shit as Rob and Mary Cate did without pissing him off. He was terrified to take the chance that he could lose her if he asked for more.
It would kill him.
**********
Jenna inhaled. This bordered on pathetic. She was too smart for this, but she couldn’t help herself. Pressing the speed dial, she tried to put on a chipper front.
“Hey there, beautiful,” Chris’ caramel voice said.
“Hey, hot stuff. You free for lunch? I was thinking I’d take you to the Ivy.”
“You know I’ll always say yes to that. What time?”
“I’ll pick you up at the studio in an hour. Sound good?”
“See you then, sexy.”
An hour later, she pulled the S2000 up to the curb, where Chris waited for her. He laughed as he folded his gigantic frame into her little car.
“Honey, you have got to get yourself a car a real man can fit into or else you’ll never find yourself a big stud to regularly fulfill your dreams.”
Jenna laughed along with him. “Find me a man that meets all my other requirements first, then I’ll worry about whether or not he fits in my car.”
“You’re picky. Besides, I thought you were all hot and heavy with Rob’s bodyguard, Liam.” It was said with a little meow.
“We’re still doing our little dance, yes,” she said as they made their way over to the Ivy from Chris’ studio. “I don’t know how we can call it hot and heavy anymore. He’s never here.”
“He was here the other day for the premiere. I know I saw his hot little ass.”
Jenna laughed. “He does have a stellar ass. I didn’t see him then.”
“Oh? Doesn’t he always call when he’s in town?”
She sighed. “Yes. He did. I…was busy.”
“Uh huh. Sure you were. Getting a manicure on those ratty nails? Dying your natural blond hair? Or wait, going out with someone else?” He gave her a look of admonition.
“Fine. I was blowing him off on purpose.”
The valet took the keys and they went inside for a table. Once they were seated, and the waiter had taken their drink orders, Jenna said, “I need a favor.”
“Of course you do, honey. You don’t take me to the Ivy when you’re just itching for lunch company.” Chris grinned.
“You know me too well.”
“So, what do you need? It has to be something very specific, because you’re the right hand for one of the hottest tickets in town and you’re the child prodigy of an old-money, East-Coast socialite and a well-known entertainment lawyer. There is very little you could need from me personally. So spill,” he demanded as he sipped his Sangria.
Jenna sighed. “I need you to introduce me to someone.”
“Honey, I don’t know many attractive, single, straight men.”
“It’s not a man, it’s a woman.”
“Jenna, babe, you trying to tell me you’re bi?”
Jenna laughed. “Hardly. Introduce me to Reggie.”
“Reggie? You mean the makeup artist who works for me? Why would you want to meet her? You have some big event you need help with? You know I’d do your makeup for free, hon.”
“No, nothing like that.” Jenna bit her lip.
“Ooh. I get it. Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer. Now that she’s single, you’re thinking she’s competition.”
“Well, given that I blew him off, I’m almost positive that he slept with her. Did you see them talking?”
“I did. You could be right. Since you’ve been my best friend forever, I’ll do you this favor. But only because I love you. This can’t end well, Jen. You’re bordering on stalking him if you start friending all his other consorts.”
“I’m not Anne Boleyn. It’s not like I’m planning to assassinate them or something. Besides, I didn’t friend the other two. I can’t figure out who Ally is and I hacked Dana’s Facebook profile. And Reggie’s.”
Chris laughed heartily. “Oh, honey, I love you.”
“Besides, Rob says he’s not serious about Dana and he told me himself that Ally is even more casual about him than he is about her.”
“So, you’re wondering if Reggie is the real competition, given that he hasn’t committed to you, despite being in love with you.”
“Do you think I’m seriously crazy? Or just pathetic? Or maybe desperate or something?”
“Honey, I think you’re in love with a man who has serious commitment issues. Until he gets past them, nothing you do is going to make much difference. But if it will make you feel better to get to know your competition, then I’ll help you do that. She’s as opposite you as can be. I mean, she’s no idiot; she’s smart. But you make her look like a dunce by comparison.”
“Oh, stop.”
“You stop. You know it’s true. You’re brilliant. Anyone can see that. But Reggie is funky and eclectic and a creative genius. She doesn’t have your head for numbers, but she’s an artist with a makeup brush. You’re going to be surprised when you meet her. She changes her hair with her mood and she dresses like she’s a frequent shopper at Goodwill. From behind, you’d expect to see a clown face. She has the face of an angel, though. Like a pixie angel with flawless makeup.”
“So she’s pretty?”
“Yeah. Pretty. Not gorgeous like you. You could be a model.”
Jenna waved him off as she dug into her salad. “No I couldn’t. I’m too short.”
“True. But if your legs were longer, you could be a model.” He looked at their waiter. “Don’t you think she could be a model?” Chris asked as the guy poured Sangria in their glasses.
The waiter was a typical Hollywood type, actor-wannabe who looked generic enough to play any part in any film. He gave his best movie grin to Chris.
Yeah, he was gay.
Jenna cleared her throat. “Are we trying to get you a date or are we discussing the woman who’s competition for the love of my life?”
Chris scoffed to say, As if I need help getting a date. “Reggie is adorable, despite her funky style, but no one would ever accuse her of being model material. I highly doubt Liam likes her more than you. My bet is, if you were blowing him instead of blowing him off, he wouldn’t have bothered to say more than hello to her the other night.”
“I don’t want him to want me just for sex.”
“Honey, I don’t think he wants that, either.”
“Oh? And how do you know that?”
“Because every time I see him and he’s been around you, he’s happy. And when I see him otherwise, he’s cranky. Period.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.”
“Sure, tell yourself that. Why don’t you just ask him to make a commitment to you?”
“Because he’s not ready for it. If I push and he’s not ready, I could lose him. I’d rather have him a little than not at all.”
“Suit yourself. You can’t worry about what he does when he’s gone if you’re letting him see other people. Ask for a commitment or let him do what he wants. Pick one and live with it. But I’ll still introduce you to Reggie. You’ll like her.”
<
br /> “That’s what I’m afraid of. It’d be easier if I could hate her.”
**********
A week later, Jenna went to lunch with Chris and Reggie. Her best friend had been right, Reggie was great – funny, energetic, as sassy as Jenna herself, and brutally honest. Finally, after they’d covered the small talk, Reggie got down to brass tacks.
“So, Jenna, you’re curious about me and Liam?”
Jenna’s eyebrows shot up. She looked at Christopher, who said, “Don’t look at me, hon. I didn’t say anything to her about it.”
“What makes you think that?” Jenna asked.
Reggie laughed. “Because if I were you, I’d be curious, too.”
“What do you mean, if I were you? You are me.”
“No. I’m not. It has nothing to do with looks or personalities. Aside from our intellectual capabilities, I think we’re actually a lot alike. I bet you don’t have many female friends, right?”
Jenna blushed. “No. Not really.” Just Catie.
Chris laughed. “The pretty, stupid ones hate her because she’s prettier than them, and the smart girls hate her because she’s smart and gorgeous. Catie is the exception to all rules, am I right?”
“Oh, stop, Chris.”
“It’s true and you know it. Why else would a girl like you have a gay, black best friend, hon?”
“Because you rock.”
“Oh, honey, I love you, too. But seriously, she’s right. I’ve tried to tell you before, but you won’t listen.”
“What are you talking about?”
“He’s saying that you mean something to Liam and I don’t.”
“What? Why would you say that?”
“Jenna, I’ve been doing this on/off thing with Liam for a while now. I pursued him, not the other way around. He never made much effort, but when you came along, he made even less.”
“Are you saying he’s lazy in the bedroom with you?”
“No! Not at all. I can’t speak for what he has with you there, but I’d never say he’s lazy in bed. I mean that he never tried very hard to be anything other than a booty call with me. Which was fine. That’s what I proposed to him in the first place, and I was okay with it. He said if I met someone I liked better or whatever, he wouldn’t be offended. If I was single, then we got together when we were in the same place. I never expected more than that because it’s what we discussed, but once he met you, he didn’t even bother to call me anymore.”
“He said you had a boyfriend.”
“I did, here and there. But there were several times when he first met you that I was single and he didn’t pursue me, even though I made it clear I was available.”
“What are you saying? That he turned you down?”
“I’m saying he knew I was single and he didn’t call me and that when I called him, he didn’t make any effort to get together with me, even though I let him know I was interested.”
“He called you when he was here recently, didn’t he?”
“No, he didn’t. I saw him at the premiere, asked if he wanted to come over to my place the next day and he said sure. I told him if he didn’t want to do this anymore, say so, and he said he was interested. The next day, he was seriously distracted. When I asked him what was wrong, he told me he’d been seeing Rob’s assistant for a while, then smiled like the Cheshire Cat.”
Jenna couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face. “He told you about me?” Reggie nodded. “What did he say?”
Reggie smiled. “He said you were brilliant and beautiful. That I’d like you because you were sassy, like me. He went from sullen to happily animated as soon as he started talking about you. You’re not me. Trust me. Don’t get me wrong, I know he likes me more than the other two. But he’s in love with you.”
“If he’s so in love with me, then why is he still sleeping with other women?”
“Because he can? You gave him permission and he’s terrified of commitment. From the beginning with me, he made it clear that he didn’t do commitment. He never calls or contacts me if we’re not in the same place. I thought it was because that’s what we’d agreed, but after a while, I realized he didn’t want more.”
“And what makes you so sure I’m different? He doesn’t call or contact me when he’s not here, either.”
“Did he call you before he came here the other day?”
“He called the week before.”
“He’s never called me that far ahead. Did you tell him you were busy?” Jenna sighed and nodded. “And yet, he still didn’t call me. If I hadn’t asked him to my place, he wouldn’t have initiated it. He was ready to leave for the premiere without saying anything. Even if he doesn’t know it, he’s in love with you. I’d bet he wants to commit to you and he’s afraid.”
“Afraid of commitment?”
“Afraid you don’t feel the same way as him.”
“Why would he think that? I’ve been in love with him from the beginning.”
“I don’t know. I’m not him. But I’d bet that’s part of his issue. Guys can be emotional wimps. Look, if you don’t want me to sleep with him anymore, I won’t. I like you. You’re a cool chick and you’re a real person. That’s hard to find in this town. I’d like for us to be friends and if me sleeping with Liam makes that impossible, then I’ll stop.”
“I don’t have a say in that. Our agreement was that we could see other people.”
“I won’t pursue him, but I’ll keep things the way they always have been between me and him. I’ll be honest, I like sleeping with him. If you’re okay with it and he still asks, I’d say yes. I take it you’re hesitant to push him to be exclusive?”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to lose him. What’s the saying? If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours. If not, they never were. If he’s meant to be mine, he will.”
“In the meantime, have you dated anyone else since you met him?”
Jenna blushed. Chris answered for her. He’d quietly listened, which was unusual for him.
“She hasn’t dated anyone but Liam since she moved back to California. I told her that she should go out, try to meet someone else, but she won’t. I can’t help much. I don’t know many straight men who aren’t dicks or Hollywood users. My Jenna deserves better than that.”
Jenna leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Thanks, hon.”
Reggie smiled. “I know people. We should at least take you to places where single men congregate. I doubt Chris takes you anywhere but gay bars.”
“Oh, please. I don’t hang out at gay bars. I don’t hang out at bars anymore. But you’re right. I’m not the best resource. Look, hon, we’re not saying you should replace him, but you should give yourself the option of meeting other people. Don’t let life pass you by while you wait for him. He might never come around.”
Jenna nodded. That was what she feared most, waiting for Liam and then missing out on marriage and a family. And that’s what he was saying to her when he left L.A. eighteen months ago. He didn’t want her to wait for him.
Just in case.
Chapter 13
Minneapolis, Minnesota, one year ago…
Jenna spent most of the year after she met Reggie hanging out with her new friend and occasionally dating. Liam wasn’t around much – he was gone with Rob often because their boss was on set when he wasn’t at a premiere or required at an awards show.
True to her word, Reggie let Liam contact her, and he only called if Jenna wasn’t available. If Jenna agreed to see him, then he didn’t pursue Reggie at L.A. premieres. Even outside L.A., he pursued Reggie only once or twice. To see what Liam would do, Chris and Reggie arranged for her to be unavailable for one of Rob’s Berlin premieres. Chris said Liam was grumpy, but there was no indication that he’d tried to find a random girl instead.
Jenna made arrangements to be at MSU a couple of times when she knew Liam would be around. She went to Homecoming again the fall right after she met Reggie. This time, she
spent longer in Minneapolis, and things between her and Liam were better than ever. They hung out with the Deacons, went to a club with Rick and Kelly, took a day trip leaf peeping, stayed in a cabin overnight, went to local museums and showed each other all their favorite spots around Minneapolis/St. Paul. Then they did much of the same in the spring, when Jenna attended a conference at school. She was around for a week and Liam took several days off so they could be together.
Regardless of how great things between them seemed, no matter how often they got together or how much Liam showed her he loved her – even though he never said it – he still didn’t make any effort when they weren’t in the same place. Occasionally, he still slept with Reggie, though not often. She didn’t ask about the other two, convinced that they didn’t matter anymore.
Jenna and Reggie had told Liam straight away that they were now friends. While he’d pretended like he didn’t care, they agreed that it made him uncomfortable. It bothered Jenna that Reggie still slept with Liam, but she had little control over that.
She made plans again for Homecoming. This time, though he wouldn’t automatically be there, she knew Liam could switch schedules with Alan if he chose. She wanted to see if he’d try to be with her outside his regular schedule if she facilitated it.
But he didn’t.
He left keys to the condo for her with the doorman, left his car for her to drive, but he didn’t return to Minneapolis, despite the fact that Rob and Rick would have made it happen and they were in North Carolina. Without difficulty, he could have flown to and from Minneapolis for a few days.
Liam’s lack of effort gave Jenna serious pause.
When she arrived at the condo, she let herself inside, sat on the sofa and cried. Her life always felt empty without him, but the silent condo was a perfect representation of it all. She’d laid on his bed, hoping that the pillows would smell like Liam, when she’d noticed a laptop sitting on the desk.
She booted it and grimaced when she saw that he still had Vista for an OS. Curious, she nosed around and found nothing interesting on it. Apparently, he didn’t surf a lot of porn or even keep many pictures. In fact, there were two pictures in his place, which sat on the mantel below the giant flatscreen TV: one of him and Catie when they were little and one of his niece, Lila Beth.