by Lucy Gage
She took a deep breath and blew it out. “No, probably not. How are we going to handle this?”
“We have to tell them.”
“How much are we telling them?”
“All of it.”
“Which part, Rob? The fact that the story about when we met leaves out the part where we slept together? Are we admitting to our affair after Lola? Or are we going to come clean and tell the real truth? That the only reason we’re not married and having babies together is because we couldn’t fall in love? Which version of the truth are we giving them? Because if you’re telling Emily and I’m telling Liam, then I want to have our stories straight. That girl can’t keep her mouth shut. You know she’ll tell Liam whatever you say to her. She’ll probably tell her friends, too.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it? I didn’t tell you all the crap I scrubbed after she left, Rob. Some things were false, but there was a lot I know for sure was true and had to have been shared by someone on the inside. Who do you think that someone was?”
“She’s my wife, Jen. You need to learn to trust her.”
Jenna pursed her lips. “Forgive me if I’m hesitant. She pushed the love of my life into the arms of another woman. I’m not inclined to be her fan at the moment.”
Just then, Ellie smacked her lips. “I think she wants to nurse. Have they helped you with that yet?”
“Not yet.”
“You want me to get the nurse?” Jenna nodded and Rob helped her switch babies, then left for a moment to get the nurse. When he came back, the nurse asked if she wanted him to leave the room while she showed Jenna how to help the baby latch on.
Jenna looked at Rob and smiled. As if he hadn’t seen the goods before.
“If you want me to leave…”
“No, that’s fine. Don’t worry about it. You’ve seen your share of boobs.” Not to mention that you’ve seen mine.
Rob walked over to Cam’s bassinet and picked him up, cradling the baby and walking toward the window, as if he had no interest in seeing her breastfeed. Probably a good idea, given that the nurse was present. Or maybe he didn’t really want to see her boobs again.
The nurse pulled out her breast for her and illustrated how to offer it to the baby. Ellie took to it like a champ and only needed a couple tries to latch on. The nurse said that usually, with only one baby, you’d have them nurse from both breasts, but since she had two, she should let Cam nurse on the other one after and to either burp her daughter or have someone else do it. Then she left. Rob was smirking at her.
“What?” she asked.
He held Cam like a pro. The man was meant to be a father. He looked as natural at it as Liam did.
“Are you going to tell me what that smirk was all about?”
“I think your fiancé and my wife might not be impressed if they knew I caught a glimpse of your boobs.”
Jenna laughed. It had erased all the bad feelings that had come moments before.
Just then, Liam and Emily came into the room.
“Looks like a party going on in here,” Emily joked. “Can I hold him?” she asked her husband. Jenna inwardly grumbled at the fact that Emily was his wife. She had to admit, however, that Emily was a natural with a baby. No hesitation, no signs of nervousness. She just held out her arms, cradled Cam and shifted his weight as she sat in the rocker. Then she played with his little hand, Cam’s fingers curling around Emily’s, as she smiled at the baby. She looked up at Liam. “He’s amazing,” she said.
“That he is,” Liam replied, a grin from ear-to-ear.
Cam nuzzled Emily’s breast, rooting, just as Ellie seemed to be slowing her pace. “I think he might be hungry,” Emily said.
“He can tell you’re a mommy, too,” Liam replied.
“Liam, can you take Ellie and burp her? She’s done,” Jenna said. He did as she asked, picking up his daughter and burping her. Emily carried Cam to his mother. Rob, wisely, turned away as Jenna adjusted herself to accommodate Cam on the other breast. No need to let Emily and Liam know he’d seen her before. When Emily placed Cam in his mother’s arms, Jenna forced a smile.
“I can burp her,” Emily said to Liam once her arms were free.
Liam turned to her, handing her his daughter, and Emily’s smile became genuine again. Rob was right; both of them were suspicious. There was a palpable tension in the room.
After a few minutes, when Ellie was burped, Rob remarked, “We should probably get going so you can rest, Jen. They’re both gorgeous. Good job, mom and dad.”
Jenna smiled at Rob’s term of endearment. She knew it meant more than that he thought her children were beautiful.
“Thanks,” she said, hoping he knew what she meant, too.
Liam offered Rob the most half-hearted hug she’d ever seen him give his best friend. Then he squeezed Emily tight and kissed her on the cheek. Rob kissed Jenna’s cheek and Emily gave another forced smile, then their friends were gone.
“You look a little better, baby. Cam is a natural,” Liam said.
For whatever reason, he had relaxed a little with Rob gone.
“He seems to be slowing down, too. Supposedly, once I can hold them both, I can nurse them at the same time.”
“Now that I’d like to see,” Liam said, laughing as he cuddled Ellie. He really was good at this.
“You’re going to be a great father, Liam.”
He sighed and smiled. “Thanks. I hope I’m going to be a great husband, too.”
“I have faith in you. I love you.”
He kissed her so sweetly. “One of these days, I’ll get to do that to you again,” he said, gesturing to Cam with his mouth on her breast.
“Don’t be jealous of your son, now.”
“Too late. I guess those aren’t mine anymore.”
Jenna laughed. “They’ll always be yours, baby. You going to stay the night here?”
“That’s what I was talking to Em about. Rick is going to stay on for a bit with Brian. I’m officially on paternity leave.”
“I didn’t know that Deacon Security had paternity leave,” she teased.
“You learn something new every day, right?” he said, his voice indicating that he might not be talking about Deacon’s leave policy.
“Like the fact that we can’t have any more children?” she asked. It had tumbled out of her mouth. She hadn’t meant to say it as a diversion from the fact that Liam was now suspicious of her and Rob. But it worked to change his focus anyway.
“I’m happy all of you are okay,” he said, kissing her forehead.
“Promise?” she asked.
He looked at her sincerely. “Promise.”
**********
The door swung open swiftly but silently. Not one to make sure people were decent before he entered a room, Jenna knew it was Chris.
“Hello, beautiful,” he said as he crossed the room in a few short strides of his long legs. He kissed both cheeks and sat on the bed. “I will kill you myself if you give me a heart attack like that again. I must have at least a dozen new wrinkles from frowning so much. And you made me cry, damn you. You are not allowed to leave me, do you hear?”
She squeezed his hand. “I love you, too.”
“Stop. You’re going to make me cry again.”
“You cry at sappy commercials.”
“Do not.”
“Do too.”
“Fine. But you can’t blame a man for crying at the Guinness ad where those sexy boys play wheelchair basketball with their friend, even though they can all walk. Makes me teary just saying it.”
“You know I’d play wheelchair basketball with you, right?”
“Oh, honey, I know. You got me my dream job. I’ll never be able to repay you in this lifetime.”
“Friends don’t keep score.”
“No, they don’t,” he whispered. “They also don’t keep secrets. Why does your fiancé suddenly seem openly hostile to our boss? Correct me if I’m wrong, but the two of them have b
een the best of friends for a decade and a half, true?”
“Yes.”
“So what the hell happened? At Rob’s wedding, they were their usual joking selves. Now, Liam is acting as if Rob is persona non grata. The only thing to occur in between was the birth of your children. Don’t tell me those babies are Rob’s.”
“What? Why would you say that?”
“Oh, please. As if I didn’t know you two have gotten down and dirty before.”
“How the hell did you know that?”
“Ha! You didn’t deny it! I knew I was right all along. Did you console him after Emily left? Is that how you got preggo?”
“No! The babies are Liam’s. I haven’t been with Rob since before I met Liam.”
“Then what’s the issue? Oh. Liam didn’t know. Before this, he had no idea, right?”
Jenna sighed and nodded.
“Did he know?” Chris asked.
“Did who know what?”
“Did Rob ever know you were in love with him?”
“I…I wasn’t.”
“Uh huh. Tell a brother who’ll believe your bullshit. So he didn’t know. And you two never told Liam. Did you tell him now? Is that why he’s pissed at Rob?”
“No. We didn’t tell Liam anything. That’s probably why he’s pissed at Rob. He knows he’s missing something and he’s mad that he’s being kept out of the loop on purpose.”
“You have to tell him.”
She sighed. “I know. I’m putting it off until I can’t. Rob said we have to tell them both. I don’t see why she needs to know.”
“Uh, because she’s his wife and you’re his right hand. Not the best idea to keep it a secret that you and Rob were bed buddies for what, a few weeks just before I came on board?”
“How in hell could you possibly have guessed that?”
“Honey, it is my job to pay attention to the details. God, that man pined for you for ages before he met Emily. You forget how much time I spend with him.”
“Did he tell you?”
“Of course not! I just know these things.”
“Yes. You’re all-knowing,” she said flatly.
“Sarcastic bitch. You know I’m only letting you get away with that because you nearly died on me. My point, doll, is that you need to be honest with your fiancé. That man adores you. I told you that ages ago. How long have I been saying that you should just make him commit to you? For. Ever. And damn, why didn’t you tell me he was Catie’s brother? You know how much I love that girl!”
“I didn’t tell anyone that I knew he was Catie’s twin. I can’t believe you knew about me and Rob all this time and never said anything.”
“I figured you had your reasons for keeping it to yourself. It’s not like I’m ignorant of his life, Jen. You do all the dirty work, but I have to do my part, too.”
“Which is why I’m never telling you the details. The fact that you know is way more than enough. Do not tell anyone. Period.”
He made the lock and key motion over his lips, tossing a fake key over his shoulder.
“When do I get to see those beautiful babies?”
Chapter 34
Jenna and the babies had been home from the hospital for a few days when Rob came to see her alone. Em had an errand to run and Rob had volunteered to stay with Jenna while Liam went out.
“Hey, gorgeous.”
That made her smile. He hadn’t said that to her in a while. “Hi, honey. How are you doing these days? It seems like we never have time to talk anymore.”
“I’m hanging in there.” He looked like he wanted to say more but he hesitated.
“Just say it, hon. What’s bothering you?”
“It’s time.”
“Time for what?” Jenna asked, confused until she realized what he meant. It was time to confess.
She sighed. “What do you suggest we do?”
“I need to tell her the truth. All of it. Every last bit.”
Jenna’s heart sank. That meant she had to tell Liam the same thing, because if she didn’t, and he heard more from Emily than he did from her, then he’d wonder if she’d hidden other important things. That couldn’t end well.
“Okay. I hate it, but I’ll do it. When?”
“When they get back. Tonight.”
“You’re not giving me much time to think about what I need to say to him.”
“Just tell the truth. It’s the easiest way to deal with it.”
“You have the simple end of things. Tell your wife that the secret you’ve been keeping is about a relationship with someone that was over years before you met her. I have to tell my fiancé that I’ve been keeping a previous relationship a secret and oh, by the way, it was with his best friend. A friend he knows is more genetically gifted than him.”
“Why does it matter how big my damn dick is?”
“That’s not the only thing and you know it. You’re prettier than him, you’re smarter than him. The fact that you also happen to be well-endowed is another thing that makes you more than him. Which is why I never mentioned us. I love him. That’s what matters.”
“But he’d see it as a competition.”
“That was my fear, yes. It never mattered to me. As soon as I met him, I knew he was it for me. Do you know how I knew?”
Rob shrugged noncommittally. “He liked hockey?”
“Because I’d seen those eyes and those eyelashes looking at me from Catie’s bookshelf every time I hung out at her place. I’d wanted to meet him for years. I knew who he was as soon as he opened the door. The second I saw those eyes, I was sure he was Catie’s brother. Every single thing he said after that just supported the idea. When I did my monthly hack of Deacon the next day, I confirmed my suspicions.”
“How did you do that?”
“Simple. His birthdate and place were the same as Catie’s. It was enough. I already knew the rest.”
“That day on the beach, were you trying to get me to tell you that I knew you had been friends with Mary Cate? Because I didn’t. Not until the other day.”
“You mean, because I kept asking you to tell me why you thought I would be good for Liam?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“I don’t know.”
But she did. She had wanted Rob to tell her why she should be with Liam and not him. Jenna knew, even if Rob didn’t, that there was a reason for her path and Liam’s to intersect then. She hadn’t been sure if Rob knew or if he was trying to tell her that he didn’t want her. He’d been so wishy-washy that day. Flirting with her one second, pushing her toward Liam another.
“Is that why you stayed with him? Even though you hated the fact that he still saw other people? Because of Mary Cate?”
“The simple answer is yes. That and the fact that I love him. I had faith he’d come around. You had said it yourself.”
“You were ready to give up on him, just before I met Em.”
“I was. Three years is a long time to wait.”
“Are you going to tell him all of it?”
“You’re not leaving me much choice. You have this notion that you need to be completely honest with her about every little thing, and that means I can’t be anything less, either. I don’t know if you’ve noticed how close they are. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he’d been stuck to her like glue the six months he was here.”
“Are you jealous?”
Yes. “No. Just wondered if you had seen that. And since the babies came, he’s been distant around you.”
“Because he knows I’m hiding something and I won’t tell him what it is. We have to do this now, before it gets out of hand.”
“Tonight. Do you mind taking the monitor? I…I need to rest.”
“Yeah. Of course. I’ll wake you if they need to nurse.” He kissed her cheek and left.
But Jenna didn’t sleep. She lay there, thinking about how the hell she was going to tell Liam the secret she’d kept from him as long as she’d known him. It might make very little differe
nce to Liam that it had been done with the best of intentions.
**********
Liam entered their bedroom, where Jenna lounged with her laptop open, trying to work. He’d put the twins to bed. The good part about still recovering from the birth was that Liam and the kids were learning how to communicate from the beginning. How she could have done this alone, as she had planned to do if he wasn’t around, she had no idea.
“They’re asleep,” he said. He smiled and kissed her sweetly as he sat on the bed. He was happy, in a good mood.
Excellent.
Better to start that way when you were about to deliver a big blow. She had no idea how he’d take any of this, but it was time.
“Can you sit with me and talk?” she asked.
“Yeah, sure. Everything okay?”
Jenna sighed. “I don’t know. I hope so.”
“You’re scaring me, baby.”
“Just…hear me out, okay?” Liam nodded. “Remember how you said that I could tell you my secrets a little at a time? That I didn’t need to tell all of them to you before we got married?”
“I remember. You have something you want to tell me?”
She sighed heavily. Want wasn’t the right word. “I have something that I need to tell you.”
She hesitated. Clean, she had decided. No sugarcoating it, no pussyfooting around it. Straight ahead. Of course, it was easier to think that than to do it.
“Just say it, baby. Whatever it is, I’ll still love you.”
“Good.” She took a deep breath. “I had a…thing with Rob.”
Liam looked dumbfounded. “I’m sorry, what did you just say?”
“I had a thing, an affair, with Rob.”
He shook his head. “Um, okay. When? While we were apart? After Emily broke up with him?”
Jenna vigorously shook her head. “No. No, a long time ago. Before I ever met you. Right after Lola. It’s… complicated, Liam.”
“How is it complicated? Is there still something going on? Are you in love with him?”
“No! Nothing like that. Actually, that’s why it never went anywhere for us, because we weren’t in love with each other. And once you and I met, I didn’t want anyone but you ever again.”