Oh God, he needed to get off the pain meds if he was thinking like this. Actually, maybe it was a good thing. His brothers and parents had been hounding him to take a look at his life and decide what he wanted for his future. Until now, he’d balked at giving in to their demands that he come home and settle down, stop living his life with reckless abandon. Maybe he should stop thinking that life meant settling for less, when it really was the life he wanted. He’d nearly lost his life. He’d almost missed seeing his niece Lily grow up and Gillian and Blake’s baby come into this world. He’d almost missed finding someone to share his life and have children of his own with.
Hell, he’d almost missed the best part of life.
Up until now, he’d been chasing dreams, money, women, and the thrill of the ride. Nothing compared to what his parents had and his brothers found with their wives. The connection he shared with his family. Knowing they’d put their lives on hold to be with him here. That kind of love meant everything.
Dr. Bell risking her life to save his meant something. That kind of risk and sacrifice deserved a reward. He meant to find out what it was she needed and give it to her. It was the least he could do for all she’d done for him.
A real man pays his debts, and he owed her big time.
Shit. First he needed to save her from his overzealous, if not adoring, fans.
Bell stopped short in front of the wall of blonde women blocking Dane’s door. Five-six, she felt like a dwarf looking up at the five women who towered over her. She felt like the odd man out at a 1980s-rock-hair convention. The ladies’ long blonde hair, in varying styles of waves and stick-straight, hung down to the middle of their backs. Lean and curvy, they stood before her, looks of anticipation and simmering anger in their hazel to brown eyes. The man had a type. A very definite type.
The exact opposite of her.
Why did she care, anyway?
Men fell for leggy blondes with big boobs all the time. Such a cliché.
They did not choose brainy women with short-cropped dark hair, who looked more like a swimmer than an exotic dancer. Let’s face it, she was no man’s fantasy. In the few instances guys actually paid attention to her, she was the friend they confided in about the girl they really liked.
“Are you Dane’s doctor?” one of the women asked.
“Yes, I am.”
“Can I see him?” pink blouse asked.
“I want to see him first,” white tank top demanded, hands on her denim-covered hips.
“He’ll want to see me,” black skirt that barely covered her ass said, stepping in front of the other women. “I’m his fiancée.”
“The hell you are.” White tank top took a menacing step closer to black skirt and glared. “We’ve been seeing each other for months.”
“Bullshit. We had dinner last week,” blue shirt piped in for the first time.
“You’re not wearing his ring,” white tank top pointed out.
“It’s being sized,” black skirt shot back.
“You’re a lying bitch,” pink blouse accused.
The women closed in on each other. Bell rolled her eyes and stepped in the middle. “Listen up. I’m going to check on Dane. He’s got a couple of friends visiting at the moment, and his family is due back soon. You may all visit with him, one at a time, after I’ve finished my examination and so long as he isn’t overtired.”
“Dane. Tired. Honey, that man can go all night,” white tank top said, licking her lips.
All the women got this far-off look on their faces, thinking about their nights with the same man. She shook her head in disgust.
Why did they want someone who wanted all of them and cared for none of them?
How did being with so many women prove that he was a man? To her, a real man loved one woman. Then again, she couldn’t fault Dane. At least he hadn’t married one woman and stepped out with a dozen more. Black skirt said he’d asked her to marry him, but like the other three women, Bell didn’t quite believe it. Dane didn’t seem the kind of man to settle for one, when chasing after four was a hell of a lot more fun for him. Of course, any man that looked like him didn’t have to chase many women; they flocked to him. Case in point, the bevy of blondes standing outside his room.
Yesterday, three others had been standing around his bed, fawning over him. He’d given them polite smiles and called them all honey, but none of it seemed genuine. Instead of going in to check on him, Bell left to join her sister at the spa for a facial and a massage. Both good things, but Bell didn’t know how she and Katherine were supposed to get to know each other better when they spent practically the whole time with goo on their faces or someone rubbing their backs, neither of them saying anything to the other.
Setting aside thoughts of arrogant, women-chasing men and her family troubles, she addressed the horde. “I’ll be right back. Try not to kill each other.”
Bell opened the door to Dane’s room and stepped in, smiling at her sister and Tony.
“Hey, Bell, we were wondering if you’d make it past Dane’s Dames,” Tony teased.
Trying her best to be professional, she held back the smirk. “Uh, yeah, about them. Your fiancée would like to see you.”
Dane’s eyes went wide with surprise a second before his lips pressed into a tight line. “None of them is my fiancée. Send them all away.”
“As you wish. I’m sure the next group will be along shortly.”
His eyes narrowed on her. Did she see a glimpse of regret and shame in those dark eyes? Impossible. Men weren’t ashamed of having fun. No, if they felt anything close to that, they pushed it away and shoved the annoyance out of their life for something better. That’s what her father did when his affair went public. To keep his pretty wife and young daughter, he ruthlessly pushed Bell’s mother out of his life, then dumped his unwanted burden—Bell—on his mother, a woman even he couldn’t stand.
No surprise Dane wanted the annoying women yelling at each other in the hall out of his sight.
“Right. Well, I’ll toss them out as soon as I have a look at you. Katherine, Tony, if you wouldn’t mind leaving me with my patient, I’d appreciate it.”
“Bell, what time do you want to go to dinner tonight? It’s our last night in town,” Katherine said.
The ever-present plea in her voice always set something off inside Bell. She was never quite sure what Katherine wanted from her. Sure, to forget the past and be friends, sisters, in the here and now.
Bell mustered up her resolve to spend yet another dinner listening to Katherine and Tony’s plans for their ranch in Montana, the family they couldn’t wait to start, and all the wonderful things they wanted for their future. Right. Katherine and her perfect life. Every wonderful thing that came out of her mouth made Bell want to rant about all she’d endured, all she’d been denied growing up, which Katherine took for granted.
“I’ll meet you back at the hotel in an hour. We can decide where we’ll go from there.”
“Why do you call her Bell?” Dane asked out of the blue.
Bell caught the startled look in Katherine’s eyes. Her sister turned away to look at Dane. “She’s always been known as Bell.”
A simple enough answer, but not entirely true. Yes, she’d always been known by “Bell” because her parents had been so horrified by the scandal that neither of them had given her their last name. No, her mother, in all her Miss Kentucky glory, didn’t want to tarnish her already rusted tiara by acknowledging that Bell was her illegitimate daughter by a man she tried desperately to snare into marrying her when he was already married. Oh, her mother didn’t know that at the time. Hell, she barely knew the man’s name when she fucked him in a conference room during a fund-raiser for some cure for some disease. No, her mother targeted the man being honored that night with some award for his outstanding research on a new drug. Not the first one he’d been instrumental in creating. Not the last either. The man was a genius. Too bad that night he thought with the wrong head, impregnated Bell’s v
ery young and calculating mother, and got caught by the chairperson of the committee throwing the party in his honor. The scandal rocked the scientific community and her father’s marriage, but like all things that are kept out of sight, she remained out of mind for the next twenty-six years and counting.
“You call her by her last name?” Dane asked, pressing the issue.
Katherine glanced at her, wondering if she’d explain. Not going to happen. Bell had long ago stopped trying to explain something not worth her words.
“Let’s take a look at your leg.”
Tony took Dane’s hand and held it tight. “I’m sorry, man. Really. I know it’s only a matter of time before a bull rider gets hurt, but I hate that it was my bull.”
“Don’t worry about it. Your sister put the pieces back together. I’m grateful she was there.”
Dane stared at her, but she focused on his chart, reading over the nurse’s notes from yesterday. Didn’t mean she didn’t feel that penetrating stare.
“Feel better soon,” Katherine said to Dane. “I’ll see you at the hotel, Bell.”
“See you there,” she answered.
The door closed behind Katherine and Tony. The silence in the room stretched as she read over how much medication Dane had been receiving and when. His pain levels had decreased. The length of time between doses had increased. All good signs.
“Why won’t you look at me?”
Startled by his deep voice and the question, she looked up and caught his questioning gaze.
Sticking to business, she asked, “How are you feeling this morning, Mr. Bowden?”
“Dane.”
She waited for his answer.
“You saved my life. Can’t you even say my name?”
“Dane, how are you feeling?”
“Confused.”
Worried about his concussion, she moved to the side of the bed, took her penlight, and leaned over him. She checked both eyes and his pupil reactions.
“Are you experiencing any dizziness? Blurry vision?”
“No.”
“Headache?”
“No. My head is fine. Well, better.”
“Can you elaborate on your confusion? Are you experiencing any memory loss? Do you have difficulty remembering things, or thinking of the right words?”
“No. I can’t seem to figure out why you stand there acting like you don’t know me, when we met eleven years ago.”
She remembered every detail. She’d seen him fall from his horse and gone against her grandmother’s strict command that she not speak to anyone, let alone let them see her outside. She’d lost her outside privileges for three months after Dane had come to her house looking for her.
“I didn’t think you’d remember me.”
“I thought I fucking lost my mind after you helped me and disappeared. Where did you go?”
“Home.”
“Where was home? What were you doing out in the woods in the middle of nowhere?”
“I lived next door to your ranch with my grandmother.”
“You’re a Warwick?”
“No. But she’s my grandmother.”
One side of his face scrunched in confusion. “That doesn’t make sense. There was never a girl living next door.”
“How is your pain level today?” She changed the subject. She was his doctor. Not his hidden-away neighbor. Not his friend.
“Fuck my pain level. I want to know why I never knew that crazy woman with the crosses in every window and on every door of her house had a girl living with her.”
“She didn’t want anyone to know I exist.”
“Why?”
“Well, like most people, she wanted to hide the family shame.”
“Why the hell would she be ashamed of you?”
“Mr. Bowden, my background really has no bearing on your injuries or taking care of you, so let’s get back to you.”
“No. I—”
“Mr. Bowden, if you don’t want me to continue as your doctor, I’m happy to turn you over to another orthopedic surgeon. I’m supposed to be on vacation. I took your case because I know your family.”
“You took my case because you saved my life and refused to let that fucking butcher hack off my leg because he didn’t want to take the time to fix it right. Look at you. You’ve got stitches across your head. Ella said your shoulder is black and blue where you got hit. You laid yourself over me and protected me when that damn bull came after us again. You stayed with me after I got thrown from my horse until my dad came to get me all those years ago. You stayed with me all night after you spent nine hours in surgery fixing my leg. Don’t stand there and tell me that you did all that because you know my family and it’s your job. It’s something more.”
“Mr. Bowden—”
“My. Name. Is. Dane.”
“Dane.”
His eyes went soft, and he sighed out his relief. Whenever he saw her, something flickered to life in his chest. It flared now, when he heard his name from her lips. Why? Because she said his name. What did he care what she called him?
“I don’t know what it is you expect me to say.”
“I want you to tell me what happened after I fell off my horse all those years ago.”
“I took care of you the best I could until your father came looking for you. When he arrived, I saw him take you home.”
“You didn’t stay and tell him what happened. You hid.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“So I wouldn’t get into trouble.”
“Why would you get into trouble for helping me?”
Bell wrapped her arms around her middle. “Because I wasn’t meant to be seen.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Why? Because you’re some family shame? That makes no sense.”
She rolled her eyes. “Believe me, it did to my family.”
“Is that why your sister calls you by your last name?”
“Bell is my first.”
“Why do you use your first name as your last name?”
She sighed and glanced up at the ceiling, trying to hold on to her patience. “Dane, this has nothing to do with your injuries. My past, my name, are none of your concern.”
“They are when you saved my life twice.”
“I hardly saved you after the horse threw you.”
“Bullshit. He found me because he heard you whistle for him.”
Caught, she rolled her lips into her teeth and didn’t say anything.
“Why did you hide?”
“I’ve said all I’m going to on the matter. Now, if you’d like to discuss your injury, I’m happy to do so. Otherwise, I’m supposed to have dinner with my sister.”
“You look nothing alike. Why is that?”
“Okay then. Which of Dane’s Dames would you like to see first?” She used the term Tony used earlier. “Or shall I send them all in, and you can take your pick from the litter?”
“Why won’t they just go away?” He held his hands together, raised his arms, and pressed the backs of his hands to his forehead and closed his eyes.
“One thinks she’s your fiancée. The other three call dibs. I’m sure the horde that came in and out yesterday feel the same way.”
“Do you have any idea how it feels to nearly die and wake up and find all these women coming to see me, and I find that I don’t care about any of them? Yes, they’re friends. Mostly a bit more than acquaintances. I like them. I’ve had my fun and so have they, but not one of them is here because they’re concerned about my welfare. They know about the money, and what it means for my new future. A future I have because of you. You saved me, but you can barely stand the sight of me. Why? Why would you risk your life for someone you don’t know or care one bit about? In fact, the way you look at them, then me, tells me you certainly don’t approve.”
Why did he care so much? Why did it seem so important that she like him? Because she saved him. That connected him to her. That’s all it was. Right?
; “Mr. Bowden, it is not for me to approve or disapprove of how you choose to live your life. I don’t dislike you. I barely know you.”
“My name is Dane.” The words came out on a weary exhale.
Reading his need for her to understand his confusion about his life, where he’d been the day before his accident and where he was now as a person, she reluctantly gave up one of her secrets.
“I used to watch you ride by the river. I envied you that freedom. I wanted to ride your horse and feel the wind in my hair.” I wanted to ride away and escape my lonesome life. “I’m the reason your horse got spooked that day. I’m the reason he threw you. I saved you in that arena, yes, because I’m a doctor and saving people is what I do. But I saved you because I’d hurt you once. I’m sorry for that. I owed you. I became a doctor because of you.”
“You never owed me anything. I didn’t control the horse. It’s my fault I got thrown. You certainly didn’t have to risk your life in that arena to save my life.”
“Be grateful I did. You would have bled out. Gabe and Blake told me you’re moving home.”
“With this leg, I can’t rodeo anymore. Besides, I promised my family I’d settle down and run my dad’s ranch. He’s traveling with Mom, and my brothers have their own families and lives. It’s left to me, or my father sells. I don’t want to see that happen.”
“Just because you settle in one place doesn’t mean you have to settle, or change who you are.”
Dane cocked his head and studied her. “I never thought of it that way.” He’d been pressured to return. He wanted to, but he didn’t want to be told to do it and when. He wanted to do it on his terms. Well, fate stepped in and made it impossible for him to do anything else right now.
“That leg will need plenty of time to heal, but once it does, you’ll still be able to ride horses. You’ll have to be careful. It won’t take an impact like before, but you’ll get by.”
“Thanks to your handiwork. How did you become a surgeon so young?”
“And we’ve circled back to me again.”
“I still have so many unanswered questions.”
She wrapped her arms around her middle again. “None of which matter.”
“They matter to me.”
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