by Codi Gary
In this moment, life was good.
BLAKE AND A large group of military personnel sat in the auditorium at Alpha Dog while Evelyn Reynolds stood on stage, going over her plans for the ball the next weekend. Apparently, it wasn’t just a plan, but an actual reality with sold-out tickets, a booked venue, and a caterer.
“There will be approximately two hundred women at this event, and we want them happy. Ecstatic even. So, I will need at least two hundred volunteers to entertain them. Dance with them, sit with them, and make them feel special. We do not want anyone left out or alienated. Am I clear?”
Eve’s commanding voice was answered by a hum of grumbles. He wasn’t the only one unhappy about being forced to participate in this farce.
“This event has brought in ten thousand dollars so far, including raffle-ticket sales. The potential is closer to thirty, so please, take this seriously. We are really close to opening a second Alpha Dog location up the road for female offenders, and if we’re successful with this fundraiser, we could be ready as soon as April. The goal here is to help more kids and more dogs, so stop your bitching, Tyler Best—”
Tyler, who was sitting next to him, sat up straight and glared at her. “I wasn’t saying shit.”
“You were thinking it.”
Tyler mumbled something about “crazy,” and Martinez, who was sitting on the other side of Best, punched him in the arm.
“Please be at the location at six in the morning on Friday to help set up and arrive between seven and seven thirty that night to await our guests. Doors will open at eight, and the event will end at one in the morning. Be professional, but attentive. I will be there to handle any problems. You’re free to go.”
Blake stood up, wishing he could tell Eve and her ball to suck it, but he liked Eve. She was trying to help the program. He could put his comfort aside for that.
“So, how’s Hannah?” Best asked behind him.
“There is nothing going on there, I’ve told you this.” And the words were total bullshit.
He was back to avoiding Dale’s like a pussy, and after two sessions with Dr. Stabler, he was ready to move to the woods and be a hermit. She kept pressing him about Hannah, Jenny, why he felt guilty about moving on, and he was already exhausted. He would love to avoid his appointment this afternoon, but after his meeting with the general the other day, he knew that wasn’t an option if he wanted to remain at Alpha Dog.
“Dude, why the hell haven’t you talked to her?” Best asked, bringing him out of his head. “She seems nice, and she’s pretty. And all those curves will keep you nice and warm at night—hey!”
Blake had spun around and had Tyler by the front of his shirt.
“Shut. Up.”
“Easy there, Kline, don’t hurt the guy.” Martinez’s jovial tone cut through the red cloud of rage, and Blake let Best go.
“Sorry, man.”
Best rubbed at his neck with a smirk. “Don’t mention it. I totally understand now. You don’t like her, and I should just stop talking about her.”
Blake gritted his teeth, but instead of rising to Best’s bait, he stormed out of the auditorium and toward study hall, where his squad was waiting for him.
Sparks had taken a few kids from each of the other squads and put them with Blake. So far, things had been going well. He had a pretty easy group of kids at the moment. There were eight of them, most of them in for drug offenses, and they had been more than willing to learn what he had to teach them as long as they didn’t have to go to juvie. Considering the shit they’d dealt with in the past, this was a cakewalk.
Blake stepped into the room they used for study hall, and they looked up from whatever they were working on.
“Hey, guys, wanna grab your dogs and meet me out back?”
“Yes, Sergeant.” Their chorus was followed by the sound of shuffling pages and books.
“Hey, Kline, walk with me for a second?” Sparks said behind him.
“Actually, hold that thought, guys. As you were.” Blake followed Sparks out into the hall, and the two of them walked toward the outside training area, neither saying anything.
“How are things going with Dr. Stabler?” Sparks asked.
“Isn’t there some kind of doctor-patient confidentiality?” Blake still hadn’t forgiven Sparks for recommending he do these therapy sessions.
“I’m just asking because of what just happened in the conference room with Best. I’ve never seen you put your hands on anyone like that.”
“He was being a douche. Besides, it’s not as though you haven’t tried to take out Best a time or two and vice versa.”
“That’s true, Best and I get into it, but you are always Mr. Calm and Cool. But it seems like you’re on edge the last couple of months.”
Blake grimaced, thinking about how he used to think Sparks’s and Best’s bouts of violence were unnecessary and stupid.
“I guess being around you guys is rubbing off on me.”
“Bullshit.”
“You know how Best gets up in everyone’s business. Seriously, I just grabbed the guy’s shirt. No big deal.”
“I know you’re pissed at me for recommending you see Dr. Stabler, but I really think you’ve got shit too heavy to carry on your own.”
Blake hesitated, knowing that Sparks wasn’t completely wrong. He did feel like he needed to talk to someone, and out of the members of their group, Sparks would be the guy to understand where he was with Hannah. Lord knew he’d fought his feelings for his girlfriend, Violet, hard enough.
“If I talk to you about something, I don’t want you telling the other guys.”
Sparks nodded, understanding in his dark eyes. “Shoot.”
“That girl, Hannah . . . I think I might have feelings for her.”
Sparks grinned and slapped him on the back. “That’s great, man. What’s the problem then?”
Blake sighed as they opened the back doors and walked toward the grass. “Every time I start to think about taking a step in that direction, I think about my wife.”
Sparks seemed to be contemplating this and finally said, “Shit, Kline, it’s been two years, and you’re not even thirty. I know you loved her and you guys had a long history, but I can’t imagine she wanted you to mourn her forever.”
“It’s me. I feel like I’m betraying her. I mean, if it was just about sex, that would be one thing, but with Hannah . . . I get up and I can’t wait to finish my run and get to Dale’s. Not even for the breakfast, but just to see her, hear her voice, and just listen to her talk, you know? She’s sweet and funny; she likes to make me laugh, and it makes me want to do it, if only to please her. Does that sound weird?”
“No, not at all. In fact, I’m not hearing a problem.”
“The problem is that I am afraid of taking a shot with her, realizing I’m really not ready, and hurting her. I’ve already done that once, and I just feel like it is better to keep things friendly and not cross that line until I’m sure.”
Sparks leaned against the wall across from him, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched him thoughtfully. “I get where you’re coming from, but how are you ever going to know if you are ready or not if you don’t put yourself out there? I did the same thing you’re doing; I tried to deny myself happiness because I felt like I needed to atone before I could move on with my life, but I was wrong. I just needed to forgive myself. You need to do the same, man. It wasn’t your fault Jenny was killed. Blame the man who shot her.”
“I do, every day. But what if that was it? What if what Jenny and I had was the best I’m ever going to have, and say I try with Hannah and can’t give her what she needs because I don’t have it in me anymore?”
“You are doing a lot of what-ifs for a girl you haven’t even been on one date with. You might hook up with her and find out she sneezes like a lumberjack and wipes her nose on her sleeve.”
Blake laughed at the image in his head. “You’re an idiot.”
“Just trying to give you so
me perspective. It does no good to speculate on what might happen, and besides, you haven’t dated for thirteen years. You don’t want to jump right into another relationship. Test the waters with Hannah. At least you know her, right? And she knows what you’ve been through. She seems like she’d be good for you.”
Blake had to admit that Sparks had a point, which brought him back to Dr. Stabler’s comment about his attraction to Hannah being a part of his body and mind letting him know he was ready to move on and try dating again.
If he started to move that way, maybe he could cut back on his sessions with Dr. Stabler. If she thought he was at least trying to move on . . .
“Yeah, I’ll think about it, but don’t tell Bryce, or I’m going to be bumping into her entire Facebook friends list at every function.”
“Deal.”
Chapter Fourteen
ON SATURDAY, HANNAH dropped Milo at her parents’ for the day and thanked them for watching the puppy while she and Nicki went shopping. Her mom had been especially excited about the Valentine’s Day ball and ordered Hannah to show her everything she’d bought when she returned to pick up Milo.
“Actually, Nicki is coming to pick me up, and I’m going to leave my car here, if that’s okay?”
“Oh, sure, sweetie, do you think you’ll be back to join us for dinner?”
The sound of a horn honking outside was Hannah’s cue to skedaddle. “Probably not. Who knows how long it will take with Nicki in charge.”
“Well, have fun!”
Hannah raced out the door before Milo could escape with her and ran toward Nicki’s car.
“There she is!” Nicki, her dark hair in a clean A-line bob with burgundy streaks throughout, waved out the window. Hannah climbed into the passenger seat and gave her a hug, pulling away to study her friend’s face; Nicki’s eyes were lined with kohl and dark shadow, and her lips were the same shade as her hair. She always did her makeup as if they were going clubbing, and today it was a little much for trying on formal dresses.
“Ready to get our pretty on?” Nicki asked, stepping on the gas as she backed out of Hannah’s parents’ driveway.
Hannah grabbed the oh, shit handle and held on for dear life. “As I’ll ever be.”
“That’s the spirit.”
The bridal shop was about ten minutes from her parents’ house, near the Sunrise Mall. Traffic wasn’t bad in the middle of the day, so they didn’t have nearly as long to talk before Nicki was pulling into the parking spot in front of the store.
“All right, we have an appointment, and I don’t want to hear any whining about the prices, you got me?”
Normally, assertive people intimidated Hannah, but she’d known Nicki too long to let her railroad her. “I won’t whine. I’ll just take off out the door and wait for you at Starbucks. I’m not blowing my savings on one dress I’ll never wear again.”
“You’re such a poop,” Nicki said, climbing out of the car. Hannah didn’t take offense, though. For as romantic as she was, she was the more levelheaded of the pair and wouldn’t let Nicki go broke over an outrageously priced ball gown, either.
They stepped into the open room filled mostly with white wedding dresses, and Hannah was a little surprised when the elegantly dressed saleswoman walked over to them and gave Nicki a hug.
“Nicki, I’m so glad you came in.” She gave Hannah a discreet once-over. “And who is this?”
“This is my friend, Hannah. Hannah, this is Madeline, a friend of my mom’s.”
“Nice to meet you.” Hannah held her hand out, and Madeline placed her soft palm in hers.
“Lovely to meet you. Hmm, what size are you, dear?” Madeline asked.
“She is a size sixteen,” Nicki answered for her.
Hannah expected the woman to remain cool and aloof, but instead, her dark eyes twinkled. “I think I have something just perfect for her. Why don’t you ladies follow Karen to the dressing rooms, and I will bring you some choices.”
Karen, a petite blonde with a vacant smile, motioned for them to follow her.
The first two dresses didn’t work for Hannah, but when Nicki squealed, Hannah poked her head out to find her friend looking like a sexual dynamo in a wine-colored strapless dress with a mermaid skirt. The corset back was lined with sparkling beads that matched the top of the bodice and edge of her skirt.
“That’s the dress,” Hannah called.
“Hell yeah it is.”
Nicki received a disapproving look from Madeline and a clucking tongue from Karen. A few moments later, Madeline slipped a dress through the curtain of Hannah’s dressing room.
“Try this on. I think it will look amazing on you.”
Hannah held up the dress in her hand. It was a gorgeous lilac color with an off-the-shoulder sweetheart neckline. The skirt gathered up with little seed pearls, and the back was a corset, loosened to allow her to step in.
When she had the dress in place, she called out to Madeline, who stepped in to cinch her up. The woman was practically bouncing on her feet as she looked Hannah over.
“I think you’ll be pleased when you see the full effect.”
Once the dress was tightened just shy of oxygen deprivation, Hannah and Madeline emerged.
Nicki’s eyes widened, and her mouth dropped. “Oh, Han, you look freaking gorgeous!”
Hannah’s heart kicked into high gear as she stepped up onto the block and let the dress fall around her. Raising her head up to look in the mirror, she stared at her reflection in awe.
In this dress, she didn’t lament the pounds she needed to lose or that her legs weren’t long enough to pull it off. The dress fit her as if it had been made just for her, and with the right heels . . .
It would be completely perfect.
“Geez, I can’t go with you to this thing. Guys will be fighting just to stand near you.”
Hannah knew that Nicki was exaggerating, and she loved her for it.
“As long as you buy that red one, we’ll both be beating them off with a stick.”
HANNAH WAS SO tired by the time they finished shopping. Once they had purchased their dresses, they’d headed to the Sunrise Mall and gone to Torrid for their undergarments. Hannah found a very pretty white bustier and thigh-high stockings to go with it, while Nicki had gone for black everything. They’d hit three shoe stores before they found the right heels and swung by Claire’s for their accessories.
“This is so awesome. I cannot wait.”
“You know this was a lot more expensive than staying in and watching movies, don’t you?”
“It’s only once a year, if we even decide to go again, so stop sweating it. You’re killing my buzz.” As they stuffed their purchases in the back of Nicki’s car, she asked, “What should we do now?”
“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving,” Hannah said.
“Hell yeah! Wanna hit BJ’s?”
It was a little out of the way, being off Arden Way, but it was Hannah’s favorite. “Sure, sounds good.”
Thirty minutes later, they walked into BJ’s Brewhouse. Hannah’s feet ached, protesting the walk from the parking lot to the restaurant. She couldn’t believe they’d shopped for over six hours; that had to be a record.
“How do you not want to curl up and sleep right now?” Hannah asked.
“Wearing my shoe gels, baby. Gotta dress comfy if you want to shop with the big guns.”
Hannah laughed. There were several groups waiting for tables, and as Nicki went to put their name in, Hannah decided it was a good time to go to the restroom.
And then she spotted Blake, sitting on the bench in front of her, smiling at a pretty brunette holding a present. Their heads were bent close together, the way people did in a loud atmosphere or just when they wanted to be near each other.
The bottom dropped out of her stomach as she realized he’d given her the brush-off. All that talk about not being ready to date, that he was still mourning his wife, had been just to spare her feelings.
; She wished at that moment that the floor would open up and swallow her whole.
Ducking her head, she rushed past them, praying she made it to the bathroom without him noticing her. Tears were already stinging her eyes and blurring her vision.
There was no reason to cry about this. She and Blake were just friends. No harm, no foul.
If that’s really what you think, then why does it feel like someone just ripped your heart from your chest?
BLAKE SMILED AS he pretended to listen to Bryce go on and on about her friend Jill, who would be perfect for him, but he really couldn’t care less. He had only come to Eve’s birthday dinner to give her the gift card he’d bought and drink some beer with his friends.
Blake caught movement at the door and did a double take as he spotted Hannah, her caramel waves falling across the shoulders of her black sweater. He almost called out to her, but Bryce said his name at the same moment, drawing his focus away.
“What?”
“I said, who are you staring at?”
Blake glanced over and saw that Hannah was walking past him toward a narrow hallway, presumably to go to the restroom. She must not have seen him.
“I thought I saw a friend of mine,” he said.
“If you want to go talk to them, I can wait for everyone else to get here. They said it was going to be ten minutes until we’re seated, anyway.”
Blake hesitated. He didn’t want it to seem as though he was stalking Hannah.
“Nah, I’ll just wait until she comes back,” he said.
“She, huh?” Bryce gave him a wide grin, her blue eyes filled with mischief as she elbowed him in the ribs. “Is this the same she you gave self-defense lessons to?”
“It’s not like that, we’re just friends.”
“Oh, here comes Slater.” Blake didn’t miss the way Bryce smoothed down her hair.
“You like Slater, huh?”
“I will kill you if you say anything,” she warned.
“I’m shaking in my boots,” he said dryly.
“I know you are, you big pussy.” Bryce laughed when he glared at her insult.