‘Is that a new toy?’ Louisa asked slightly scornfully, her perfectly shaped eyebrows rising in amusement. Kate pulled her inflatable dolphin closer to her and, despite Louisa’s attempt to ridicule her, she managed to laugh.
‘Oh, you mean Danny?’
‘Danny?’ asked Sebastian, coming up behind them. It was the first time he had intervened between the two ladies since Kate had arrived. It was as if he was enjoying the barbed comments.
‘Danny Dolphin.’
‘I should have guessed,’ laughed Sebastian, obviously recalling how Kate always named her toys. ‘Like Freddy Fox, Bobby Bear and Porky Pig?’
‘Percy Pig,’ Kate corrected him, enjoying the shared moment of intimacy, a memory from childhood which effectively shut out Louisa and which, for some reason that Kate was not going to think about, she deeply delighted in. She knew Louisa was stinging from her exclusion—she could see it in the tension lines that pulled at the girl’s mouth and her sullen expression.
They walked downstairs and out to Sebastian’s car. Kate climbed into the back and leant forward, pushing her head between Louisa and Sebastian, who sat in front, in a pretence of wanting to talk.
‘It’s good of Sebastian to look after you today. I’m sure your father will want your company again soon,’ Louisa said in a consolatory tone. Kate immediately sank back as if she had been slapped. Had her father tired of her? Did he no longer want her company? She remained silent, stunned by Louisa’s words but knowing them to be the truth. It was always the same: Howard soon tired of her, always had done, and the familiar feeling of rejection welled up inside her like a huge wave of water beating against a dam. Kate stared out of the window, ignoring the careless chatter of Louisa. She was too lost in her own thoughts, her own bitter pain twisting inside her. She hardly noticed the car drawing to a halt, or Louisa alighting, but she was aware of the kiss that Louisa gave Sebastian. Kate’s nerves tensed at the sight of it but she refused to acknowledge the jealousy that stirred deep within her.
‘Come and sit up front, Kate. You’ll get a better view,’ Sebastian said as they set off again, and Kate did not need a second invitation. She scrambled over the seat and settled herself down next to Sebastian.
‘Where exactly are we going?’
‘Nylia Beach.’
Kate nodded, but she was not prepared, despite her high expectations, for the beauty that was awaiting her. The beach was an endless stretch of pure white sand that shimmered with a silvery light. The sea was a clear deep blue and as smooth and flat as a fine sheet of glass.
Sebastian parked the car in the rough car-park in the harbour, leaving Kate alone for a few minutes. She waited, enjoying the lovely view and listening to the gentle lapping of the water on the shore.
‘It’s all fixed.’
‘What is?’ asked Kate.
‘I’ve booked us on to a boat trip, to see the reef. I thought you might like to go diving,’ Sebastian explained, misinterpreting her silence as unwillingness to go.
‘Diving?’ she whispered. ‘It’s been years,’ she said wistfully, recalling the time when he had first taught her to scuba. It had been a family holiday in the Caribbean, one of the happiest, but it was after then that her relationship with Sebastian had begun to change. It was not as easygoing as it had been after that; there was a strain there that she couldn’t comprehend.
‘So are you interested?’ snapped Sebastian irritably.
‘Of course,’ breathed Kate. The thought of seeing the reef filling her mind, she followed Sebastian to the tiny hire shop, where she opted for a sleek black wet suit emblazoned with a fluorescent band of orange down the full length of each side. Then, within moments, they were boarding a boat and setting sail.
‘Ready?’ asked Sebastian a short time later as he studied her perched on the edge of the boat, her hands wrapped around the edge as she leant back. Kate avoided looking at him directly; she could remember clearly how stunning he would look in a wet suit. The tight fit covered his body, emphasising the sleek strength of his male frame. She nodded and took a deep breath, hesitating for a moment as a niggle of apprehension filtered through her mind. But she heard the splash of water behind her and that was invitation enough.
Without any further doubts, she released her grip, leant back and slipped into the calm, warm waters. She could feel the weight of the sea pressing hard against her as she sank beneath the waves, swimming lower and lower. She followed the supple body of Sebastian as he swept further down. Nothing could have prepared Kate for the wonderful sight before her; she turned in astonishment to Sebastian, her eyes dancing with unspoken delight. The reef was alive with activity: summer was drawing to a close and the coral was spawning. The clear blue water changed to a cloudier green, thick with the millions upon millions of tiny egg-packets. Kate watched in fascination as the tiny balloons swelled up from the coral before bursting and releasing in the water. Worms began to emerge, intertwining their green and blue and red strands into the rose-coloured spawn.
Kate was far too engrossed in the miniature life forms in front of her to notice the dark shadow that was cutting silently through the water. She was oblivious to the slow beat of a fish tail as the whaleshark approached. Her breath caught in her throat as Sebastian suddenly drew her in towards him and her heart skipped a beat, but the intent look in his eyes warned her that all was not right. Her own eyes darted about, trying to focus on the danger: the sea was always full of it and she knew that something was wrong! The power of Sebastian’s action had alerted her; her back was pressed up hard on to his chest and he wrapped his arms protectively around her tense body as he drew her back into the large rocks. The shadow of the huge fish cast its darkness over them and Kate shut her eyes momentarily. It was young, about twenty feet long, its eyes ebony jewels, its teeth large white pyramids of power and strength. Kate’s heart tightened at the awesome sight, her stomach churning as she considered the danger they were in, yet strangely enough the reassuring presence of Sebastian helped her to release the tension in her chest and breathe.
The shark passed them, close enough for them to see the clear design on its back: a spectacular colour-pattern of white polka dots on a rich navy background. It moved gracefully, sinking lower and deeper into the water, and Kate watched its descent until she could see it no more. Sebastian did not release her instantly, though the strength of his grip slackened. Kate felt herself being cradled protectively in his arms and she allowed herself a moment of self-indulgence, moving her body closer to his. She turned her head, tilting it upwards so that she could see his face. His dark eyes were visible through the face-mask, staring at her with an intensity that she found strangely disturbing. Then she saw the change, a flicker of something—it was far too quick for her to define what it was—but Sebastian’s reaction was instant. His arms dropped and then Kate felt a sharp shove on her shoulder as he pushed her away and indicated that they should surface quickly. Kate did not need to be told a second time. The magic of the moment had been lost and destroyed forever. She floated away, glad of her face-mask. She began to kick herself upwards, making for the surface, her legs moving frantically as she tried to escape. But she couldn’t help but wonder who she considered the real threat—Sebastian or the shark! She splashed to the surface, pulling away her mask and breathing fresh air with relief. Sebastian rose at the side of her and removed his mouthpiece to speak.
‘That was exciting,’ he said, pushing his mask up on to his forehead. ‘They don’t normally come this early on. It follows a pattern: first the coral spawns, attracting the smaller fish, then the food chain continues till the whale-sharks arrive, but usually not for another few weeks.’
Kate was glad of his enthusiasm as it allowed her to recover her equilibrium. She kicked her legs gently, keeping herself afloat as she listened to him.
‘I wish we’d had a camera—what a shot!’
‘Aren’t they dangerous, sharks?’ Kate commented, her heart still thudding as she recalled the size of th
e beast.
‘It’s hard to say. Some fishermen claim their boats are attacked but I doubt that’s the case. You see, they eat by shifting the water through their mouths. If a boat happens to be in the same area fishing, it might look as if the shark is attacking them, open-jawed and hungry, but I doubt it. Anyhow—whale-sharks especially are generally harmless—you just need to be careful because of their size!’ He laughed as he lay back in the water, but Kate was not amused. She began to climb up the side of the boat with sharp, quick movements.
‘Hey, what’s the matter, Kate?’ Sebastian called after her, scrambling to her side and meeting her on the deck, a pool of water forming at their feet. ‘You weren’t frightened, were you?’ he asked, sounding almost concerned, but she could hear the laughter in his voice, too.
‘Yes, I was,’ she snapped back. ‘Very frightened.’
‘You have no need, Kate,’ he said, his voice softer now and as warm as the sweet air that teased her damp hair from her face. ‘You should know I’d never let anything harm you.’
The words hung in the air between them, sounding oddly poignant. Kate nodded silently, hating the hopes and desires his words created. She hurried away, leaving him standing alone on the deck, lost in his own thoughts. She could feel his eyes still following her and sensed his confusion, but the situation was impossible. He did care for her—he always had done—but not in the way she wanted. He saw her as a little sister in need of protection and Kate was no longer sure what she felt for him. Her emotions swung so erratically, it was impossible for her to know exactly how she felt.
She took longer than she needed to dress, her mind still racing with a mixture of thoughts and emotions, and it was with reluctance that she joined Sebastian back on the deck. He stood leaning against the rail and gazing into the bottom of the boat, which had a window into the sea. Kate watched him, noting his total absorption in the changing picture of underwater life, his eyes and mind lost in the sea world. He had changed, too, and was now wearing a pair of dark navy shorts and a slim-fitting white T-shirt. He looked so relaxed, not in the least bit threatening, but Kate was not about to drop her guard. She knew love could cause as much pain as it did pleasure, and she wasn’t about to take the risk. If only she could look upon him as a brother and nothing more. She had to—anything else was a waste of time and bound to end in tears…
She took a steadying breath and braced herself. He’s my stepbrother, my stepbrother, she chanted over and over in her head as she approached. She stood by his side, their arms touching briefly.
‘Are you OK now?’ he asked, glancing up briefly before returning his attention to the sea.
‘Yeah, fine. It was just the shock, that’s all,’ she lied convincingly. ‘Still, something to tell the grandchildren.’ She managed a stiff smile.
‘You’re planning on having children, then?’
‘Some day—and you?’
‘I guess.’
Covertly she studied the sharp angles of his face, so hard and unyielding. ‘Do you think you’d make a good father, Sebastian?’ she asked, unable to keep the doubt from her voice.
‘You don’t, I presume?’ he asked as he swung round. She cold read the tell-tale signs of his anger behind his swift movements. It was the way his eyes gleamed with a spark of indignation that could ignite his temper at any moment. Kate remained silent but the expressive shrug of her shoulders told him all he needed to know.
‘I won’t be like your father, if that’s who you’re comparing me to,’ he told her, and in that instant her own anger was aroused.
‘My father is an excellent man and he has been a good father to you,’ she bit back, angered by his criticism of a man who had shared his home, life and love with another man’s child.
‘To me, yes, but what about you, Kate?’ he asked, his words smooth but probing. ‘I was already fully grown when I met our father, but you—’
‘He’s always given me everything I ever wanted,’ she cut in desperately, while a tormenting voice whispered in her ear, Except love, Kate, never love.
‘Yes, well, that was his mistake; that’s why you’re so spoilt,’ Sebastian concluded matter-of-factly.
Kate’s hand tightened around the boat’s rail and she fixed her sight on it ‘Sebastian—’ she began, her voice grating.
‘I’m sorry, Kate, but that’s the truth,’ he interrupted her, suddenly impatient as he swung away and headed for the rear of the boat—as if tired of the conversation.
Kate went after him, her muscles tight with indignation.
‘I’m spoilt?’ she said to him through gritted teeth, hurt that he should see her needs so easily filled by material wealth. Her father had given her everything but love.
‘That’s right.’ He pivoted round.
‘I had everything, did I?’ she asked sarcastically.
Her father had given her everything. ‘Everything money could buy,’ she continued bitterly, but Sebastian stopped her.
‘We’re not playing the role of poor little rich girl, are we, Kate?’
He laughed without humour.
‘I only ever wanted one thing, Sebastian, and you took that,’ she told him, her eyes fixed on his in confrontation. ‘You robbed me of my partnership in my father’s company.’
‘That’s not true, Kate,’ he said, shocked. ‘You know it isn’t.’
‘Not true?’ Kate scoffed. ‘Then how come you have the partnership and I don’t?’ she challenged.
‘Because you were too young, too selfish and too spoilt You weren’t ready to work hard and you just couldn’t bear the thought that someone had something you didn’t,’ he told her.
‘Thief!’ she spat at him, shaking her head as she swallowed the taste of envy, sour memories flooding her mind. But it was all in the past now. She realised that she had been too young to take up a serious role in the company. Besides, these days she was far happier working for her favourite charity. She derived a satisfaction from knowing that she had helped people in a positive way, rather than being part of a large corporation. If only she could explain all this to Sebastian, and make him understand, but she knew that he would only twist what she had to say and they would end up arguing as usual. In that respect they were like siblings—he always teasing and both of them forever fighting. Kate, though, was battleweary, and longed to achieve the same peace and understanding with Sebastian that she now had with her father.
She glanced round, looking for him. He was standing looking out across the clear blue sea as if searching for a lost island. She joined him, standing silently at his side. He reminded her of the sea: deep and vast, with hidden dangers as well as hidden treasures. Then he turned, the sunlight shining on his face, lighting the fine lines around his eyes. He smiled, his teeth bright white in the daylight
‘I’m sorry, Kate, I shouldn’t have said that.’ He swung away and settled himself on a deckchair. Kate followed him, sitting down next to him.
‘You’re right, Sebastian, I was spoilt,’ she admitted, still keeping some of her thoughts to herself. She wanted his understanding without being forced into giving him explanations.
‘Yes, but you were cute with it,’ he grinned.
‘Was I?’ she asked, wrapping her arms around her hunched-up legs and hugging them, despite the heat of the day.
‘Yes, very,’ he acknowledged. ‘It would be hard not to spoil a child if she was as cute as you were,’ he added with a touch of humour and a hint of understanding.
‘What’s with the past tense? I’m still cute,’ Kate mock-objected, turning to smile at him, but there was a far-away look in his eyes, a lost, haunted expression that made her smile stiffen and freeze on her lips. She knew that at that moment he was thinking of long ago. Back to times when they had been inseparable. The past had forced its way into the present, sending a flurry of shared images racing through their minds. It was too dangerous and Kate moved swiftly away.
‘I think the boat is about to stop. Where are we?’ she asked, steer
ing the conversation back to the safe present. Sebastian stood as the boat rocked to a stop, his eyes scanning the area.
‘Picnic time,’ he said, a forced lightness in his voice as he strode away to reclaim their supplies. Kate waited, watching him, conscious of the awkwardness and tension that had sprung between them once more.
CHAPTER SEVEN
SEBASTIAN placed the ice-box on the shore before returning to collect Kate. He reached his arms out to her.
‘Come on, Kate,’ he grinned, sensing her reluctance. ‘I promise I won’t drop you.’
‘You’d better not,’ she agreed, falling into his outstretched arms and holding herself rigid. She could feel the supple movements of his chest muscles as he picked her up and strode to the beach, the gentle play of his muscles under his shirt rippling against her own soft body. Kate was pleased when that ordeal was over and he placed her on the sand.
‘Delivered safely,’ he said triumphantly. Kate walked away and settled herself on the hot, soft white sand. There was a hidden bond that welded them together in a special way. She picked up a handful of sand and allowed it to trail through her fingers.
‘It’s lovely and quiet here,’ she said as Sebastian joined her, flopping down next to her with a casual air.
‘I’m going to do some serious sunbathing. This is my first day off since arriving here,’ he confessed as he pulled his T-shirt up over his shoulders. Kate lowered her head and cast a covert glance under her eyelids. His physique was as powerful as ever. His chest was strong, with well-defined pectorals, and he had a rigid flat stomach. She saw his fingers catch hold of the button of his shorts and twist it unfastened. She looked out to sea, concentrating on the lace-edged waves that lapped quietly on to the silver sand.
On Equal Terms Page 8