It didn’t hurt at all; it was glorious. His mouth moved against hers, gently at first, then with more passion. Opening her lips, he deepened the kiss, bringing her fully against him as his hand slipped from her head to her back, pulling her against him. She angled her head slightly to better kiss him back.
Endless waves of enchantment swept through her. She wanted more yet would have to settle for this. Sadly, she gently withdrew from the kiss. She would treasure these memories her whole life, but she was realistic enough to know when to stop.
He rested his forehead against hers, his eyes dark and dangerous.
“I was not ready to stop,” he said softly.
She smiled sadly. “Me either.”
“Then why?”
She pulled away and went to the crib. “Surim, you are looking for a wife. Anything between us keeps you from that goal.”
“I’m not married yet.”
“No, but you will be. And I can’t stay. I need to return to England.”
“Stay with me, raise my children.”
To see him for the next eighteen or twenty years? Watch him with his own children, and his cousin’s? Have to see him with Yasine and know she wanted him for herself? She absolutely could not do that!
“The children have responded so well to your care. Hamid hasn’t had a nightmare in weeks. They are learning Arabic and doing well with their English schooling. And they’ve even accepted me. You can’t leave,” he said urgently.
She was torn. The sincerity in his tone convinced her he wanted her to stay. But things were too difficult. She could not do it. Slowly she shook her head.
He was silent for a long moment, then in a calm voice he said, “Then you must be my wife, Melissa. I choose you to marry me.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
MELISSA looked at him in shock. Surim wanted to marry her? For a blinding second her heart swelled in joy. Then reality took hold. He didn’t love her. He didn’t believe in love. He was worried she’d leave and he’d have to find someone else to help Annis with the children. Had that been the reasons for his kisses, his taking her out? To keep her happy enough to stay and make the children’s lives easier?
“I can’t marry you,” she said, stepping away, feeling sick at the thoughts that crowded her mind. If anyone had told her earlier that she’d refuse an offer of marriage from Surim, she’d have thought them crazy. But now, with no word of love, with no reason except he didn’t like the idea of her leaving the children, how could she even think of accepting?
“It would be the perfect solution,” he said reasonably. “The children love you. They’ve had enough disruption in their lives without another. You like Qu’ Arim, at least the parts you’ve seen. And we get along fine.”
“Oh, right, that’s a great recommendation for a lifelong commitment to live together. I’m sorry, Surim, but my answer is no. And I think it best if I leave as soon as Nadia is well.”
“No, I want you to stay!”
“This makes it awkward,” she said, trying to remain steadfast in her resolve, but weakening by the moment. To be married to the man she loved, without being loved in return, would mean nothing but heartbreak.
“I know you like the children. Would being married to me be so difficult?” he asked, ducking his head so his eyes were on a level with hers.
She shook her head. “Surim, we aren’t suited. We’re from different backgrounds—oh, wow, is that an understatement.”
He captured her shoulders, turning her to face him. “I was also raised in England, for the most part. More of my formative years were spent there than here. I have a job—it just happens to encompass leading a country—so you can say I work for my living. You know I need to marry to produce heirs. Don’t you long for children of your own? You are so good with them, I’d think you’d like to have a houseful.”
She stared into his warm brown eyes and yearned to have a little boy who would have those same eyes.
“You don’t believe in love,” she blurted out.
“We have discussed that issue before. Look at the longevity of marriages in my country. They function well without love. And affection grows. We would have a wonderful life together.”
Pictures of the two of them at formal dinners and receptions flashed into her mind. Then with children, Melissa always taking care of them and after him to spend more time at home, to share in their lives before they were grown and gone. Or sitting alone in the salon waiting for him to return late at night and having a few words before bed.
Where was the vision of confidences shared, of plans made, of family time? Or couple time? She couldn’t imagine it.
“I want more than affection,” she said finally. “I want to be loved and cherished. I want to be more than a mother to a houseful of children. I want to be a partner and confidante and lover. I want it all. I don’t want only a part of it.”
Maybe she should think it over longer, consider all the ramifications. But her instincts were good and she knew she needed more in a marriage than what Surim offered, much as she longed to say yes.
“Thank you for the honor you offered me,” she said, dropping her gaze lest she be swayed. “I appreciate it more than you know.”
“But the answer remains no,” he said softly.
She nodded.
He brushed a kiss on her cheek and released her, turning.
“If you have things in hand here, I’ll return home and check up on the other children. I’ll be back early in the morning,” he said, already walking toward the door. He paused and looked at her.
“If anything changes with Nadia, have them call me immediately.”
“I will.” She held her breath until he left, then let the tears flood her eyes.
Was she a total idiot, refusing an offer of marriage from the man she loved? Giving away her chance to stay with children she loved? To have little ones of her own.
Confused, hurt and lonely, Melissa returned to the rocking chair. She had a lot of thinking to do. She knew much of Surim’s background. He had not had love as a child. His parents didn’t sound as if they had been in love. He had nothing to show him the way. Could she? Dared she take a chance? It was her life on the line. And potential happiness. Or potential heartbreak.
Surim drove through the dark streets. He felt curiously numb. He’d asked Melissa to marry him after seeing Yasine tonight. The young woman had expressed her concern for Nadia, but she didn’t even know her. She was showing him how compassionate she would be should she be chosen as his wife.
His aides kept him informed about the gossip around certain circles. He’d known Delleah wanted to marry him. Had Mara not died and left him guardian of her children, maybe he and Delleah would have made a match. She was beautiful.
As was Yasine.
As was Melissa.
He was stunned she’d refused him. He thought he caught a glimpse of emotion sometimes when they were together. He knew he wanted to spend time with her every day. He loved talking with Melissa on any topic. She was bright, articulate, had definite opinions. And she could make him laugh. Sometimes she did it deliberately, he knew. But other times he laughed for the pure joy of being with her. And when they kissed…
The road to his house came up, but he passed by heading for the sea.
She liked living here. The one certainty he had about Melissa was she wasn’t a person to play games. If she liked something, she showed it. If not, she was clear on that as well.
When he reached the road that ran along the Gulf, he turned toward the restaurant he’d taken her to for lunch only two days ago. It seemed a lifetime ago. Nadia’s sudden illness had changed everything. Put things into perspective, he’d thought. Melissa would make a perfect mother. She loved those children. Her refusal had to mean she didn’t care enough about him to stay.
Which hurt.
Surim was surprised to realize that was the emotion that filled him. He wanted her and she didn’t want him.
The story of his life, it seem
ed. He should be used to it by now. But he had thought she was different.
Reaching the restaurant’s car park, he pulled in and cut the engine. The silence was broken only by the soft soughing of the wavelets as they splashed against the shore. The night was dark, stars littered the sky. But Surim saw nothing, gazing out into the darkness, feeling the night reflect how he felt. Dark and silent.
Dawn was breaking when he started the engine again. He’d thought long and hard about the situation, but could find no resolution. If Melissa had her way, she’d be gone soon and he and the children would be left alone.
Unless he took drastic steps.
He reached home in record time. After a quick shower and change of clothes, he was ready for the day. Heading for his office, he placed a call to Max.
“Hello?” a rough voice answered the phone.
“Max? Surim here.”
“Do you know what time it is? It’s in the middle of the night. What’s wrong?”
“Sorry, forgot the time change. I need to talk with you.”
“Now? Is it an emergency? Did something happen to the restaurant? Don’t tell me the thing burned up. I thought we were on schedule for the opening.”
“It’s not about the restaurant.”
“Then what the hell do you need to talk to me about at two o’clock in the morning?”
“Melissa.”
“What? Is something wrong with her? She’s all right, isn’t she?”
“She’s fine. I need some advice, actually.”
“About?”
Surim wasn’t sure he wanted to confess the next part, but he needed Max’s input.
“I asked her to marry me and she said no.”
There was silence on the line for a long moment. Then, “You asked her to marry you? Why?”
“She’s blended in perfectly here. She’s terrific with the children. Thanks to her demands, I’ve come to know those kids and love them. I can’t imagine not having them as part of my life now. I know we wouldn’t have come to this without her.”
Surim took a breath, waiting to hear what Max would have to say. If he laughed or made some sarcastic comment, Surim would take the next plane to London to settle with his friend.
But Max didn’t say anything for a few seconds.
“Is that it?” Max asked.
“She’d be perfect.”
“Surim, she’s a woman. What’s in it for her?”
“She’d be my wife; isn’t that enough?”
“Nice, if that’s what she wants. From the little I’ve seen of Melissa, and I don’t know her that well, material things don’t seem to figure high in her scheme of life. She values relationships. How do you feel about that?”
“I want her.”
“Yeah, she’s a looker all right. But more than that?”
“What more?”
“I know men aren’t big on expressing emotions; my sisters tell me that all the time. But isn’t there something missing from your big declaration? Something like love?”
“That’s a western myth. In Qu’ Arim we arrange marriages. And they are highly successful. We have a very low rate of divorce.”
“Quote her that, why don’t you?”
“I have.”
Max laughed. “God, Surim, you’re a piece of work. I’d have liked to have been there to hear her response.”
“I have to marry to assure the succession. Why not to someone I want?”
“And Melissa is that someone?”
“Yes.”
“Tell her.”
“I did, and she refused me. Max, you’re English, you’d have a better handle on what I should do to convince her to marry me. I would have no difficulties if she was from here.”
“Tell me all the reasons you think this marriage would work,” Max said.
Surim listed the aspects of being with Melissa that he liked. He talked about the evenings they’d spent together, the delight he felt around her.
“So now tell me what it would be like to have her gone from your life,” Max said some time later.
After a moment, Surim shook his head. “I cannot.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t imagine her not being a part of my life.”
When the doctor arrived, Melissa had been up all night. Nadia had wakened a short time earlier and eaten all the breakfast the nurse had brought. Her temperature was back to normal and her eyes looked bright again. She smiled at Melissa and was restless, wanting to get down.
The doctor examined her and smiled.
“She is better,” he said.
Melissa knew that. Nadia had awakened with her normal zest for activity and running around, and it was hard to keep her in the bed or hold her.
“So she can go home today?” Melissa asked.
“One more day, just to make sure. But I’m certain she is on the road to full recovery. Children this young get sick suddenly, but recover almost as quickly.”
Melissa was so happy to see the little girl look like her normal self again. She could hardly wait for Surim to hear the good news. She asked the nurse to contact him.
“So, little one, you’re going to be fine,” Melissa said to Nadia when the doctor and his entourage left. “Soon we’ll be back home.” Melissa stopped suddenly. They’d return home, but she had plans to make. Who would take care of these lovely children? Would Annis be enough now? They’d had too many changes in a short time.
By mid-afternoon, Melissa realized Surim wasn’t coming to the hospital. She’d had the nurse phone him again, and taken the receiver to speak to him directly. She wanted some of the books Nadia liked. And maybe a couple of toys to counter her restlessness now that she was feeling better.
He was not there, but the person answering rang her through to Annis who promised to send the requested items.
“How are the other children doing?” Melissa asked.
“They went with Surim today. They were all overjoyed with the good news,” Annis said. “As was I.”
For a little while Melissa thought Surim might be bringing the others to visit Nadia, but when one of the servants arrived with her books and toys Melissa gave up on that idea.
Where would Surim have taken the children?
By the time Nadia went to sleep that evening, Melissa was ready to drop. The nurse urged her to get some rest, reminding her that the next day Nadia was to be released and Melissa could scarcely care for her at home if she was too exhausted to even stay awake.
She reluctantly agreed. Before long the limousine had been summoned and Melissa sat in solitary splendor in the back, dozing on the ride to Surim’s home.
When she arrived, the lights were on, but upon entering she found the house was silent.
She went upstairs, wanting to check on Alaya and Hamid.
Miracle of miracles, they were both asleep, and it wasn’t even nine o’clock.
Going to her room, Melissa quickly showered and crawled into bed. She hadn’t seen Surim today and already missed him with an aching that wouldn’t go away. Was this how she would spend the next week and months and years without him?
The next morning when Melissa rose, the sun was shining as brightly as almost every other morning she’d been in Qu’ Arim. She dressed, anxious to see Alaya and Hamid, and then go to the hospital to get Nadia. She went up to the nursery, surprised to see Surim already at the table with the children.
“You got the message about Nadia, according to Annis,” she said, entering the room, trying to quell the sheer delight seeing him brought.
“I did. We will all go to get her at nine. I have already spoken with her physician this morning,” Surim said. “Before we go, however, I wish to speak to you in the study downstairs. After we eat.”
“Sure.” Melissa greeted the children and soon sat down to eat her breakfast, wondering what Surim would have to say. Was he arranging a flight home for her right away so not to hinder her departure? Or would he try again to talk her into staying? It prov
ed awkward to be with him after refusing his proposal. Her heart fluttered with apprehension. Either way, she was on tenterhooks until their meeting.
He escorted her down the two flights of stairs, not saying a word. They walked into the study and he closed the door. Without another word, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her.
She clung with abandonment, returning each caress and touch, running her fingers through his thick hair, holding on tightly for the exquisite sensations that threatened to explode. She’d missed him so much last night. Yearned to see him.
“I’m so relieved Nadia is getting better,” he said a moment later, resting his forehead against hers. “Thank you for your devotion, Melissa. I’ve hired a nurse to watch her for a few days, just to make sure she’s all right.”
“Annis and I could have managed.”
“I know. But there is no need. We will bring her home, then, before you leave, I want to show you something. The oasis I told you about.”
Her heart dropped. Was this his gesture of farewell?
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she smiled. “I should love to see the oasis. But shouldn’t I stay with Nadia?”
“As I said, she’ll be safe with the nurse and Annis. We will wait another day and then fly to the interior.”
Melissa held onto her smile, hoping it reached her eyes and that the sadness she felt wasn’t evident. She wanted to run to her room and shut the door and pretend everything was as it had been a week ago.
Surim established the nurse in charge of the sick room. The little girl made rapid recovery. He went to see her that evening, reading to her and staying until after she fell asleep. Watching her sleep, he was filled with love. How wise of Melissa to make sure he and the children got to know each other. He couldn’t imagine his life without them now. Any more than he could imagine it without Melissa. But if he didn’t change her mind, that was exactly what he faced.
Early Wednesday morning, Surim escorted Melissa to a private airport near the capital’s huge commercial airport.
“We’re taking a private plane?” she asked when he parked near the small terminal.
“I have a plane I keep here. It’ll take us to Wadi Serene.”
The Nanny and the Sheikh Page 16