“I smell something delicious,” Quinn called out. She moved toward the kitchen, the smell of cinnamon and banana filling her nostrils.
“Banana bread,” Carly said.
“The kind with the crumblies on top?” Quinn exaggerated her inhale as she moved into the kitchen.
“Is there any other kind?”
“Not any kind worth eating,” Quinn said. “I didn’t come for dinner, but if you’re cooking, I’ll stay.”
Carly packed together a nice-sized meatball and eyed her sister. “There will be plenty, but this isn’t all for us.”
Quinn walked over to the empty bowl where Carly had mixed together the banana bread. “I love when you don’t rinse the bowl out.” She slid her finger along the inside of the bowl, scooping out a good amount of the batter, then licked it off. “Even the batter is good.”
“I know. That recipe was a good find.” Carly rolled another meatball.
“Who’s all this for?”
“I thought it would be nice to take a meal to Grady,” Carly said.
Quinn only stared.
“Look, I know you don’t like the guy, but he’s been really great to Jaden. Got him up before dawn the past two days to work out, Quinn. This is Jaden we’re talking about here.”
“Jaden, the fifteen-year-old who still has schoolwork?”
Carly sighed. “Don’t be like that.”
“That’s actually why I came over here. I’m surprised you’re okay with this whole arrangement.” Quinn dropped her bag on one of the kitchen chairs and plopped herself in another.
Carly shrugged. “All I know is my kid is happier than I’ve seen him in a really long time. And his grades have actually gone up the last few weeks.” She glanced up at Quinn. “You know how hard things have been with him, Q. I was really starting to worry about him.”
“And what? You think Grady is going to cure all of that? What happens when he leaves?”
Carly’s forehead wrinkled in what could only be described as maternal concern. “Is this about Jaden? Or you?”
Quinn scoffed. “This is about Jaden. How can you even ask me that?”
“Because I think you like him.” Carly raised a brow.
“Grady Benson is not my type, Car; you know that.”
Carly walked over to the stove and turned on the burner. “I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you haven’t really dated enough to have a type. Marcus doesn’t count. You might as well have been dating a piece of lint.”
“Gee, thanks.”
Carly scrunched her face. “That guy had no personality.”
Quinn groaned. “Give me something to eat. A brownie. A cookie. Anything.”
“There’s Dove chocolate in the drawer,” Carly said. “But that’s not going to make him go away.”
Quinn walked across the kitchen to Carly’s stash drawer, where she kept every good and wonderful thing that would make Quinn feel better. At least for a minute. “That’s exactly the problem. Well, part of it anyway.”
“What is? That chocolate won’t make Grady go away?”
“That I don’t have . . . experience.”
Carly watched her for too many seconds—it made Quinn uncomfortable. “What do you mean?”
“I did an Internet search,” Quinn said. “Grady—he’s had a lot of girlfriends.”
“So?”
“So, I’m not like that, Carly. I should be with someone who . . .”
Carly’s face fell. “Someone who hasn’t slept around?”
“It’s different,” Quinn said to the back of her sister’s head. “It’s different with you and Josh and—”
“Q, by your logic, I don’t deserve to be with someone unless he’s got a questionable past.” Quinn could hear the hurt in her sister’s tone as her voice kicked up a notch. “Should I just give up trying to find a decent guy now?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what?” Carly spun around. “What is it, Quinn? Because all it sounds like to me is that you’re up there on your high horse judging the rest of us for the mistakes we’ve made because you haven’t made any. Admit it: you think you’re too good for him.”
“That’s not true!”
“Then what?”
“I’m scared of him!” The words were out and she could do nothing to reel them back in. She sank back onto the chair. “He scares me to death. He’s infuriating and impulsive and dangerous. I am none of those things.”
Carly turned the burner down and faced her. “A case could be made that you can be infuriating.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do.”
“We are completely wrong for each other.”
“Why do I feel like you’re trying to convince yourself?”
“Tell me what about it would make even a bit of sense. He doesn’t even like Harbor Pointe.”
“So, you leave.”
Quinn’s gasp was audible. “I can’t leave.”
“Why not? Because you never have? It might be good for you.”
She shook her head. “No. I’m meant to stay right here, to run the flower shop. To marry a nice, uncomplicated man and have kids and live happily ever after. I’m not supposed to go off chasing some adrenaline junkie with no concept of what an actual relationship is.”
Carly let out a wry laugh and went back to tossing meatballs in the pan of oil. “Oh, you’ve got it all figured out, don’t you?”
Quinn only stared.
“You think you know just how everything is going to go.”
“I have plans, Carly. I’m not going to apologize for that.”
“Okay, but things don’t always work out like your favorite song, little sister.” She threw down her spatula and walked over to her. “This is real life. You can’t figure everything out before it even happens.” She sat down and covered Quinn’s hand with her own. “You’re going to miss out on . . . everything.”
Quinn looked up at her through clouded, tear-filled eyes. “What if I already have?” Her voice broke and a tear streamed down her cheek. “What if that is my greatest mistake?”
The back door popped open and Jaden walked in. “You got that food, Ma?”
Quinn turned away, praying Grady wasn’t right behind him.
Carly stood. “It’s not ready quite yet.”
“Okay. I told him he could just eat with us here.”
Quinn stood. “I’m going to go.” She slung her bag over her shoulder. “Thanks, Car.”
She turned around just as Grady walked in, eyes fixed on her, still perfecting that rugged “I should be on a billboard in Times Square” look.
“Stay and eat, Quinn,” Carly said. “I know you’ve probably been too stressed to sit down for a good meal.”
“I can’t. Too much to do before tomorrow.” It was a lie. Truth was, she had no idea what she would do once she left Carly’s. She’d gotten every task on her list finished up early, thanks in part to the help of so many other people, including Grady. “Have a good dinner.”
As she drove home, her conversation with Carly replayed in her mind. Her sister was right. She’d pinned her goodness to her shirt like a ribbon she’d won at the state fair, turning herself into a judgmental person who could only see the flaws in the people around her.
How had that happened without her even realizing it? It had blinded her to her own flaws—her inability to forgive, to move beyond the past, to let it all go.
She’d been a prisoner to it her whole life.
And she had no idea how to break loose of those chains.
CHAPTER
27
LATE FRIDAY AFTERNOON, as Grady and Jaden packed the car for their trip up north, all he could think about was how good it would be to get out of town for a few days.
The grand reopening of the flower shop had been the buzz of the town for two days straight, and while he was happy for Quinn, it was hard to get her out of his mind when she was all anyone was talking about.
&
nbsp; She’d cold-shouldered him Tuesday night at her sister’s house, but he’d gone to the shop on Wednesday regardless. He wanted to congratulate her. He wanted to be a part of her happiness.
Worse, he wanted to be the reason for it.
But she was so busy with the crowd of people who’d come out to celebrate with her that he’d left without saying a word.
Thursday, Ryan Brooks caught Grady in the gym to tell him to report to him that day—something about renovating a small cottage on the other side of the lake. Grady had been dog tired by the time he got home, but he put himself through the paces of his workout anyway and even cooked his own meal.
And the icing on the proverbial cake? He’d heard from Benji that he’d pieced together the money for that month’s PT, so he must’ve either dipped into his own savings or gotten it from their parents, which meant once again, Grady was the letdown. Benji had been coaching kids for a while, but Grady knew that job didn’t leave Benji with much extra, and the insurance was only paying about half the bills. Grady had promised he’d take care of his brother. He couldn’t break that promise.
He called Pete immediately after he hung up with Benji.
“There’s still Spectre,” Pete had told him. “They’re talking about having you design your own line of ski gear, Grady—it could end up being a pretty sweet deal.”
Reluctantly, Grady had given Pete the go-ahead to get some facts and figures. They’d talk about it Monday. And Grady would see just how bad things really were financially. Pete was trying to prove he was still on board, but Grady wasn’t convinced.
Now, as he and Jaden headed out of town, he tried to think of something—anything—other than Quinn.
Turned out, he had the world’s best distraction riding shotgun in the car. Carly had told him at dinner the other night that Jaden wasn’t a talker. He was moody and withdrawn. They’d had trouble with him at school.
“That all kind of changed when you showed up,” she said.
At first, the idea of it hadn’t sat well with him. He’d always balked at the idea of being anyone’s role model. But he actually liked Jaden, and if he’d ever been moody and withdrawn, Grady had never seen it.
At this moment, he was prattling on about a World Cup race where Grady had “absolutely crushed it.” It seemed like Jaden had every single one of Grady’s races memorized.
“What’s it like? Being up there with the cameras? Knowing the whole world is watching?”
Grady chuckled. “Well, it’s not the whole world. Lots of people don’t watch skiing. Even your aunt had no idea who I was.”
“Still. It’s a lot of people watching. How do you do it without freaking out?”
“You just do it. You tune all of that out, get in the zone, remember your training, and go for it.” Though that wasn’t exactly his routine, was it? At least not the “remember your training” part.
But he did know how to get in the zone. He tuned out the rest of the world, the voices in his head—all of it. It was as if the soundtrack of his life were suddenly muted, and it was just him and the finish line. Sometimes his body seemed to move on its own, as if it instinctively knew when to lean, when to push, when to let up. He wished his instincts were that good off the slopes.
“Bet the girls fall all over you,” Jaden said.
Grady laughed. “Is that important to you?”
The kid shrugged. “Maybe just one girl.”
“Oh, so there’s a girl? You talk to her?”
Jaden stared straight ahead. “Nah. She doesn’t even know I’m alive. Or if she does, she acts like she doesn’t.”
Grady sighed. “We always want the ones who won’t give us the time of day, don’t we?”
“Like you and Aunt Quinn?”
Grady shot him a look.
“Come on. I’m young, but I’m not stupid.”
“Let’s just say your aunt isn’t my biggest fan.” Grady hated knowing it was true.
“You two are just different is all,” Jaden said.
“How do you figure?” Grady was genuinely curious what kind of insight he could gain from a teenager.
“Well, first of all, the religion thing.”
“What religion thing?”
“She’s kind of really into Jesus, and you’re, you know, into partying.”
Grady frowned. “Is that what you think?” Is that what she thinks?
Jaden let out a mocking laugh. “Do you read the stuff they write about you?”
Unfortunately, yes.
“It’s why Aunt Quinn doesn’t want me hanging out with you. She thinks I’ll pick up your bad habits.” Jaden blew out a stream of air.
“She doesn’t want you hanging out with me?”
Jaden’s pointed expression was his only reply.
That stung a little. “Because you’re into partying too? You think the Jesus stuff is a waste of time?”
Jaden faced him. “Heck no. I’m not into partying. I want to keep my body strong, you know, for the slopes. And me and Jesus are tight.”
“For real?”
“Ever since my first time up on skis,” Jaden said. “Never feel closer to God than when I’m up there, giving up control.”
Grady felt a twinge of something at the back of his mind. He wasn’t sure he could relate to that. He was always perfectly in control on the slopes. There was nothing spiritual about it. Besides, his memories of church and religion were more a laundry list of all the things he wasn’t allowed to do.
Didn’t that pretty much sum up who God was?
Underneath the Jeep, the road clicked along at an even pace. Grady stared straight ahead at the horizon. The sunlight had begun to fade, but his eyes were still shielded by a pair of aviators. He was thankful for that; he didn’t need Jaden reading anything into what he was—or wasn’t—saying.
“Don’t tell me you don’t at least believe in God,” Jaden said.
No, he did. He just chose to ignore God, same way God had ignored him the day of Benji’s accident. He’d sat there, holding his brother in his arms, begging—pleading—for divine intervention, but God had stayed silent. How Benji could still spout off about God’s goodness the way he did made no sense to Grady.
Maybe that’s what his parents could never understand about Grady. They all went back to church like everything was fine. They still did the whole Bible study thing, and Mom still played her worship songs while she cleaned the house.
And the rage pulled itself into a tight ball at Grady’s core.
“See, that’s a hill Aunt Quinn isn’t gonna climb.”
Jaden’s voice jerked Grady back to reality. “Sorry, I was thinking about something else. I do believe in God. I just haven’t spent a lot of time with him these past few years.”
Jaden shrugged. “Maybe you should.”
He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. A heaviness settled on Grady’s shoulders.
“Then there’s all the other stuff,” Jaden said.
“What?” Grady had lost track of their conversation.
“You and Aunt Quinn. All the other things that make you a terrible match.”
“We’re still talking about that?” Grady tried to play it off like it was nothing, but the truth was, he didn’t want to hear it—not really—because all he heard was You’re not good enough for her. And of course, he already knew it was true.
But Jaden wasn’t done talking. “Like, you have sports and she has flowers. You travel all over and she stays here. I don’t know if she’s ever even been on an airplane.”
“Seriously?”
Jaden shrugged. “Even I’ve been on an airplane. Went out to see my dad once.”
Grady focused on the road in front of him. Jaden had never mentioned his dad before, though Grady had gathered they weren’t close. “How’d that go?”
“I haven’t seen him since, if that gives you an idea.”
Grady kept his eyes on the road. “I haven’t seen my dad in a while either.”
<
br /> “I’m talking years here,” Jaden said, as if he could one-up Grady.
“Yeah,” Grady said. “Me too.”
Jaden’s wounded eyes found Grady’s. “Really?”
Back to the highway in front of him—it was safer to look there. No chance of unwanted emotion creeping in. “We had a sort of falling-out. I haven’t been back home since I was eighteen.”
“Wow,” Jaden said. “Does he ever call or anything?”
Grady shook his head. “Not for years.”
The kid’s shoulders dipped. “Yeah, mine neither.”
“I’m sorry, Jaden,” Grady said.
Jaden waved him off. “I’m over it.”
But Grady recognized the nonchalance of a protective lie.
“Anyway,” Jaden said, “how do you get the girls to notice you?”
Grady laughed. A much better topic, for sure. “What’s her name?”
“Mariah.” Jaden sighed. “Mariah Kramer.”
Grady glanced over. “Man, you’ve got it bad.”
“She’s perfect. Dark hair. Beautiful. And she skis.” He dropped his head back on the seat.
“So what are you going to do about it?” The GPS interrupted their conversation with instructions to take the next exit.
“I told you—she doesn’t know I’m alive.”
“Win the competition, and maybe that’ll all change.”
Jaden’s grin cut through the darkness in the car. “You think?”
“Why not? You’ve just got to go for it. Push yourself.” When had he become a font of wisdom? He wasn’t even sure it was good advice.
“You think I’ve got what it takes to be as good as you?” Jaden wasn’t looking at him now. The question likely made him feel vulnerable, something Grady had a hard time relating to. He rarely let anyone see his own insecurities.
And yet, he’d shown that side to Quinn, hadn’t he? Almost immediately. Granted, he was intoxicated at the time, but still. Some part of him must’ve known from the start that he could trust her.
Maybe his instincts weren’t all bad after all.
“No way, buddy,” Grady said.
Jaden gave him a sideways glance.
“You’ve got what it takes to be better.”
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