by Joyce Magnin
"So Asa won't need to go to jail?" she asked.
"Probably not, but we don't have the final answer yet. I have a feeling Hazel has a way of pulling bureaucratic strings."
Rose draped her arm around Suzy. "It's over, Suzy. Everything is going to be all right now."
The dam broke, and Suzy stood in my yard for a full ten minutes and wailed like a banshee. The sound ricocheted down the street. Old Man Hawkins got back in touch with his more zany side and came out hollering that Paradise was being bombed and shouting orders to disperse and seek cover.
Mother, of all people, reassured him that we had it all under control and helped him back to his trailer. We gathered inside my trailer, and I made two pies while we talked about what would come next. No one really wanted to speak about it, but we would need to bury what was left of Fergus Wrinkel. Suzy had no clue about what to do.
"I didn't either," I said as I rolled out piecrust. "After Herman died, I worried until I found some insurance papers, and then I just went to my old church and the pastor did the rest. Course, I had to go the funeral home and pick out a casket and—"
"Insurance," Suzy said. "I don't think we have insurance."
"Well, you won't find any papers now," Rose said. "Even if there were any."
So we ruminated on the situation over a lattice-crust cherry pie and decided we'd ask everyone to pitch in and help pay for Fergus's funeral. Ginger suggested having him cremated, but that seemed a little redundant.
41
Asa arrived home that day a little after suppertime, just as Hazel had promised. He came to my trailer looking not too worse for wear, although he needed a shave and he smelled a bit gamey.
But that was okay. I hugged him anyway and welcomed him home. "Are you hungry, Asa? I made pearl onion and cucumber stuffed burgers."
"They're not as bad as they sound," Rose called from the kitchen. She was washing the dishes. "Pretty tasty. A surprise in every bite."
"I was hoping to see Suzy," he said.
"She's in the bathroom. She'll be right out. Now how about some supper?"
"Well," Asa said, "that jail food wasn't very good, and to tell the truth, I didn't have much of an appetite. A burger sounds good."
"So sit at the table. I'll get you set up."
Asa followed me into the kitchen. I poured him a glass of milk, which he downed in a second and a half. I left the jug on the table. There were two leftover burgers in the fridge, all stuffed and ready to fry. I dropped them in the pan.
Suzy came out of the bathroom. Asa stood and walked toward her.
"Asa," Suzy called. "You're home."
I expected her to run and leap into his arm, but she didn't. She stood, frozen. Asa kept his distance also, and the thought occurred to me that what he did could very possibly come between them.
Mother dried her hands on a blue terry towel. "Maybe true love isn't strong enough," she whispered.
Suzy didn't say a word. She slipped back down the hall and disappeared into her room. Asa took a step forward and stopped.
"Come on," I said. "Your burger will be ready in a minute."
"That's okay, Charlotte. I'm not hungry anymore."
A few days later I heard loud noises—crunching and twisting of metal. Workmen were at Hazel's, dismantling her trailer. A brand-new trailer, light blue with white windows, waited on the street, poised to take the old trailer's spot.
"Look at that, Mother," I called. She was watching TV."Hazel's new trailer has arrived. Looks like they'll have it set up today."
She joined me at the window. "That's nice, dear. It's blue. At least that's a normal color."
"I said I'll have it painted as soon as I can."
"Well, that doesn't matter, since you'll be coming home with me as soon as softball season is over."
Suzy came out of the bathroom carrying a paper bag. "I guess I'm ready to go. I got my toothbrush and that new comb you bought me and the new panties in this bag."
"Good," I said. "We'll go shopping again, real soon."
"So," Mother said, "today's the day."
"Guess so," Suzy said. "I can't believe this is happening. It's like a dream sometimes."
Mother put her hands on Suzy's shoulder. "It's going to be okay. You'll see."
My mother continued to look into Suzy's eyes, and I knew she was imagining her in an alternate capacity—a confident woman in a John Wanamaker Young Miss Business Suit perhaps.
"Okay, here's the plan," I said as I pulled my keys from my purse. "We stop at the doctor and get that cast removed, and then it's off to Willow Way. Hazel said she gave you the best room. It's in the front with four windows and a closet so big you can walk right inside and have room to change your clothes."
"That's nice. But I . . . I don't deserve all this attention."
"Suzy," Mother said. "You are going to like it at Willow Way. And, remember, it's just until you get the insurance check and get settled someplace."
"I like it here," she said.
"But, but you said you couldn't stay here, remember? You said the memories were too strong. You won't even talk to Asa."
She turned her head away. "I know. I know."
I took her elbow. "Come on, the doctor is waiting with his trusty saw. It will feel good to get that plaster off your arm. It's been a long six weeks."
"I'll be back as soon as I can, Mom," I said.
I patted Lucky's back and side. "You take care of Grandmom."
When we got outside, Suzy saw the new trailer. "What's that?"
"It's Hazel's new place. She'll be coming back to Paradise just as soon as it's set up and furnished and everything's plugged in and hooked up and whatever else goes on with these buckets."
"It's pretty," Suzy said. "Kind of reminds me of Fergus and mine's trailer when we first moved here. It was all clean and shiny and almost brand-new."
I saw Asa walking down the street.
"He's come to see you off, Suzy. Are you going to talk to him?"
She shook her head and climbed into the Galaxy. "I can't. Not yet."
"Please. At least say good-bye."
She wouldn't even look out the window at him.
"Would you mind if I spoke with him for a minute before we go?"
"Free country."
I closed the car door and met Asa several yards away. "She still won't talk to you."
"But why? I don't understand."
"She feels guilty. She doesn't want you to take the blame for what she did. Last night she asked if there was anything she could do to make it up to you. I told her it was over. Finished."
"But it was to save her from being punished. She doesn't have to do anything but accept it. I love her, Charlotte."
"I know you do, Asa. Give her some time."
I kissed his cheek. "Hazel's trailer is going in today." I hoped to lighten his spirit. "She'll be home soon."
He looked at her property. "I know. She'll be back to her crotchety old self in no time."
"Oh, Asa, she's a good egg."
He pulled me in for a hug. "I know. She got me out of a deep jam. I'll always be grateful to her."
I drove away, and Suzy never even looked back.
"You'll need to talk to Asa," I said as I drove between the palm trees. "He put his life on the line for you. It could have turned out so much worse."
"I know that!" she shouted. "I never said I wasn't grateful for what he did, but I still did it, Charlotte. I still was responsible for killing Fergus, and I'm letting Asa take the blame."
I jammed on the brakes, causing the car behind me to swerve onto the shoulder. He beeped like crazy.
"Suzy," I said as I steered the Galaxy onto the side of the road. "You did not cause Fergus's death. He ran inside because he was greedy. He thought he could save his beloved stamps. You didn't make him do it."
"I know, I know. But it was still my fault."
"Okay, you think about it. But you also think about how much Asa loves you, so much so that he—" I couldn't go on. Tea
rs welled in my eyes and ran down my cheek.
"Charlotte," Suzy said. "What's wrong?"
I swiped at the tears and looked at their wetness on my hand. "I just thought of something that Rose has been trying to get across to me. Don't you see? That's why she put up that giant hand statue—to remind us all, every day, all the time, in living color, that Jesus loves us and carries us in his palm. There's just no better, safer place to be."
"What does that have to do with Asa?"
"Fergus gave his life for money—stamps. Asa was willing and happy to sacrifice whatever was necessary for you to be spared. Don't slip through Asa's hand."
Our ride to Willow Way was quiet. Suzy barely even looked at me, but I could tell her wheels were turning. I only hoped she would see the situation the way the rest of us did.
Fleur de Lee greeted us at the door. She held a wailing Angel in her arms. The baby sounded like she was in some kind of pain.
"Is she okay?" I asked.
"Well, she ain't sick, if that's what you mean, Charlotte. But I can't seem to get her to quiet down. She just cries and cries and I been walking the floors since early this morning. I changed her diaper. I fed her. I rocked her and sang to her and nothing, no, nothing is gonna make this baby be quiet."
Suzy dropped her paper bag on the floor. "Give her to me."
Fleur de Lee seemed happy to hand the baby over. Suzy looked in the baby's eyes. "Where's the bathroom?"
"Bathroom," I said.
Fleur de Lee pointed upstairs. "Jaster and mine's is connected to our bedroom."
We followed Fleur de Lee up the long, grand staircase."Turn the shower on. It's a trick I learned. Just turn the water on full force."
Fleur de Lee followed Suzy's instructions. Suzy sat with the baby on the toilet seat and rocked her. Every so often she seemed to whisper something in the baby's ear, and after a few minutes Angel fell fast asleep.
"How'd you do that?" Fleur de Lee asked.
Suzy placed the baby in her crib. "Babies like the sound of the water, and sometimes, well, who knows, rocking gentle in someone else's hands does the trick."
Hazel wandered into the bedroom. "Goodness gracious," she whispered. "The baby is finally quiet."
"It was Suzy," Fleur de Lee said. "She did it."
Hazel put her finger to her lips and then called us into the hallway. "Suzy, I think you just got yourself a job."
"What? Doing what?"
"Well, I can't stay here. I want to get back to Paradise. But you can stay here and be in charge—sort of. The folks need someone to help them with things from time to time—like Fleur de Lee here with the baby. I'll pay you a good salary."
"What about the woman who ran Haven House?" I asked."I just assumed—"
Hazel clicked her tongue. "Now, you know what they say about assuming anything. That windbag quit right after the storm. She didn't want to be bothered anymore."
"She never really liked us anyway," Fleur de Lee said.
Suzy swallowed and then looked in at Angel. "Maybe. If you'll have me." She looked around. "I always wanted to live in a real house with a real porch."
I smiled into Suzy's eyes. "I think you belong here. It's a good place, and you're not far from Paradise."
"Heck, no," Hazel said. "You'll be coming by all the time. I'm sure Charlotte has another barbecue to plan."
"And you can come to all the softball games," I said. "You can even play."
"I do have a pretty good arm."
The next week passed quickly. Hazel had moved into her spanking-new trailer, what was left of the Wrinkel trailer had been removed, Hazel named Asa as the new manager of the Paradise Trailer Park, and The Angels were set to play The Hop Bottom Hooligans.
The Angels were relaxed and ready to play.
Two strange station wagons pulled into the Frost sisters' driveway.
"That must be the Hooligans," Lillian said. "What a dumb name for a team."
"Must be," I said. "Now, Mom, you go sit with Hazel and watch. I have a feeling we're going to chalk up another check in the wins column."
"I do too, dear."
I watched until she joined Hazel, who sat on the players' bench holding Angel. Fleur de Lee, of course, stood right behind her, keeping a watchful eye. Suzy stood right behind Fleur de Lee, keeping a watchful eye.
The umpire arrived and called the team captains and coaches. He went through the usual routine, and the Angels took the field.
Ginger, who now had her regulation uniform, looked great at shortstop, and Gwendolyn was ready for anything. I moved her to the lead-off batter spot, and you'd think I had just crowned her Queen of the Universe. Rose looked almost comfortable behind home plate, and Edwina promised the hole in her glove had been repaired, to which Thomasina replied, "Just catch the dang ball, Edwina. Make Daddy proud."
Greta, who had been complaining about her leaking breasts, solved her dilemma by wearing two Kotex napkins under her Angels' jersey. All in all the team had worked it out, as my former Canaries coach used to say.
"Play ball!" hollered the ump, and off we went.
Frankie had no problem striking out their side, except for one slow grounder to Ginger, who tossed it nicely to Gwendolyn for the third out.
"This is going to be a piece of cake," Clara said as they came off the field.
Asa hurried over to give some pointers. "Just make contact. Don't kill the ball." He spoke directly to Gwendolyn. But she didn't listen, and the next thing I knew the Hooligan's center fielder fell into the cornfield trying to chase down a fly ball that landed six rows back.
"Oh, yeah," called Mother. "We got this one. Go, Angels."
And we did. Seven innings later the score was Angels 19, Hooligans 6.
The team enjoyed a few minutes of celebration before shaking the Hooligans' hands. We watched them climb back into their cars and drive off.
Rose made a check mark in the air. "That's two for the Angels."
But the most exciting part of the evening was when Suzy talked to Asa. It was during the fifth inning. He was standing along the third base line, when I saw her sidle up next to him. Of course, I couldn't hear a darn thing, but I knew, I knew in my heart that she had made peace with what he did for her. I knew it for certain when I saw her reach up and kiss his cheek.
Asa and Studebaker gathered up the equipment as the fans made for home and the team joined their families. Mother, Hazel, and I had started back through the woods when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned with a start.
"Cash," I said. "You've got to stop startling me."
"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."
"Cash Vangarten," said Hazel. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to watch the Angels play."
"You did?" I said. "You've been here the whole time?"
"From the first pitch. I was hoping you'd agree to that dinner now."
I took a few more steps. "Not now, Cash. Not yet."
"Then when?"
"Can't say."
"Mr. Vangarten," Mother said. "You seem like a nice man. But you can understand my daughter's situation. She just isn't ready to begin dating. Why, her husband, Herman—he was a salesman for the Fuller Brush Company—has only been dead for"—she counted on her fingers—"less than six months. You understand."
"I do," he said. "My wife has been gone three years now. Three years, seven months, and two days."
"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't know."
Hazel slapped her knee. "All this maudlin talk. Yeah, yeah, and my Birdy's been dead for twenty-five years."
Lillian sniffled. "And my Henry ten."
We all looked at each other and then suddenly burst into laughter.
Cash took my hand after a minute or so. "Okay, Charlotte. You let me know when you're ready."
"Might be a while."
"I can wait."
Then he looked at Hazel. "So, Mrs. Crenshaw, how much longer do I need to coach that team before you'll see I've repented? I've changed. I haven't
touched a drop in three years."
Hazel twisted her mouth and considered his question."Okay. You're done. This can be your last year."
"Thank you," he said. And he took off back toward the field.
Later that night after Mother and I ate a celebratory fried zucchini omelet and she was settled in front of the TV with tea and Lorna Doone cookies, I decided to take a walk with Lucky.
"I'll be back, Mom. I might go visit Rose. We haven't talked much over the last couple of weeks."
"You go right ahead, dear. Enjoy yourself."
"I'll take Lucky."
"That's fine. I'm sure I'll turn in early, or I was thinking I might go over to Hazel's and swap stories about elastic underwear bands."
Sad to say though, Rose wasn't home. I said, "I bet she's at Ginger's." It was one of the only places she went. Lucky made himself comfortable under the hand near the petunias.
"Come on, Lucky, time to go home. Rose isn't here."
He wouldn't budge.
"Lucky, now. I said Rose isn't home."
He straggled to his feet and grabbed my pant leg and pulled me toward the hand.
"What are you doing? Home is that way."
He barked and circled himself into a comfortable spot.
"What, you want me to go up there?"
He blustered.
"Okay, okay."
I climbed the ladder and sat with my back against God's thumb, under the vastness and the miracle of a million stars. I thought God must have called the entire team onto the field because I never remembered seeing that many stars before.
"So, God," I said. "You know I've never really been comfortable up here. Always seemed just a teeny bit weird. You know, grownups sitting in a cement hand. But I just want you to know that I get it now. I also want you to know that I might not be very good when it comes to keeping secrets, but I am good at keeping my promises, and I promised Suzy and Asa I would never tell. And I won't."
The street light blinked a couple of times, and I thought maybe God was winking at me, but that's silly. "So I guess this makes me an accessory to the crime. Learned that on Perry Mason. So I'm guilty. I confess, Lord."