“Why didn’t you call and tell me?” Krissy said. “I would’ve enjoyed going.”
Daddy shrugged. “Aw, don’t be mad. I wasn’t sure I’d make it to Vegas in time. And Vivian didn’t want a big ceremony. She almost threw me out when I showed up. What brings you and the kids to town?”
Aunt Vivian laughed. “That’s my fault. I called her this morning and told her we’d be in at five. You surprised us in Vegas, so I surprised you today. We thought you could go out to eat with us to celebrate. You can spend the night and go home tomorrow. The kids will miss a day of school, but we wanted them here to celebrate, too. It’s okay, isn’t it?”
Daddy laughed the big, long, deep laugh that Saucy loved. She wanted to lean against his chest and hear the laugh echo deep inside somewhere. She wanted to cry and tell him about the awful week. But she had promised to keep quiet. Instead, she stood with Bubba beside the van and just watched.
Looking up, Daddy called, “Come here, Bubba!”
Bubba ran to Daddy to be crushed in a great bear hug.
Saucy waited. Daddy opened his arms to her next. She ran to him so fast that she hit his chest hard. Just as she looked up, he looked down. Daddy’s sunglasses jostled loose and fell. Two pieces skittered across the pavement.
Saucy said quickly, “I didn’t mean to.”
Daddy picked up the pieces and shrugged. “It’s OK, Saucy. They were old glasses anyway.” Daddy set the pieces onto the bumper of his truck. He blinked a few times in the sunshine. Putting his hands on his knees, he bent toward her until he could look straight at Saucy’s face. He asked, “How’s your day been?”
Saucy burst into tears. “I’m glad you’re back!”
Daddy pulled her into a bear hug. “I am back. And I’m not leaving again.”
17
Family Reunion
No, Saucy didn't ever mean to make anyone else feel bad, that was the last thing she wanted.
Saucy tried valiantly to stop crying.
When she calmed down a bit, Daddy said, “I brought you something from California. Go look in the cab of the truck.”
Saucy wiped away a last tear, ran to the red truck, and scrambled up. “Strawberries! Daddy, you remembered!”
“There’s more,” Daddy said.
Saucy looked again. On the leather seat was a blue book. Saucy turned it over. “Grimm’s Fairy Tales.” It looked exactly like the storybook that Mom had given her two years ago. Saucy’s heart beat fast. She opened it to the Table of Contents. “Hansel and Gretel” was the fifth story.
Daddy climbed up behind her. “What do you think?”
Saucy flung her free arm around his neck. “Thank you.”
“Thank Krissy. She’s been looking for a new copy ever since she lost the old one.”
“Oh.” Saucy drew back and sat cross-legged in the truck’s seat with the book on her lap. Daddy wanted her to say Krissy was just great for trying to find her a new book.
Daddy tapped the book. “Krissy is trying to get along. Are you?”
More than Daddy knew, Saucy was trying to get along. The strawberries smelled so sweet, so different from Krissy’s beer and rum. Saucy wanted to show Daddy the rum bottle under the cabinet and to tell him all about the fight that left her sleeping outside. Oh, yes. She was trying to get along.
“Come on,” Uncle Dave yelled. “Let’s get something to eat and celebrate!”
Daddy watched her for a moment longer, waiting for an answer. Biting her lower lip, Saucy just gathered up her book and strawberries and carried them into the house. She was glad now that she had washed dishes and made Bubba make the beds. No one would know they had been here.
After eating canned food for a week, Bubba and Saucy were glad to go out to eat. The Spaghetti Warehouse was Bubba’s favorite and even Saucy liked the lasagna.
Uncle Dave sat beside Saucy and told her that he taught high school English at the same school where Aunt Vivian taught science. She studied his ears: they weren’t big ears after all. Just normal size ears. Uncle Dave had noticed the book she had left at the house, so he asked her about fairy tales. Saucy found herself talking a lot, and again she checked out Uncle Dave’s ears. Still normal. Strange. He sure knew how to make people talk.
Daddy sat between Krissy and Bubba and smiled across the table at her. Bubba told Aunt Vivian knock-knock jokes, and they giggled.
Around the restaurant was another watching party. Waiters watched customers. Lonely men sitting alone watched lonely women sitting alone watch them. At their table, though, family was just watching family. Saucy sighed in satisfaction. It was a perfect family, just the kind of family who would live in the perfect gingerbread ranch house.
Now, the waiter was coming back with a bottle of wine and four long-stemmed glasses. He stopped at their table. “I understand we have a wedding to celebrate!”
Aunt Vivian blushed. “Krissy! You told them!”
Krissy laughed. “It’s a day for surprises.”
The waiter pulled the cork out of the bottle with a “Pop!” A group of waiters joined the first one, and they sang a crazy “Happy Wedding” song. The waiter poured wine for Daddy and Aunt Vivian and Uncle Dave. And Krissy. Krissy gulped hers and refilled her glass immediately.
The red liquid gleamed in the candlelight.
“I’m ready to go home,” Saucy said quietly.
Krissy laughed loudly. “The night is young.” She poured herself a third glass of wine.
“Strawberries,” Saucy said a bit louder. “I want to go home and eat my California strawberries.” She turned to Daddy. “Isn’t it time to eat strawberries?” She turned to Uncle Dave. “Don’t you just love strawberries?” She turned to Aunt Vivian. “Strawberries?”
“Strawberries!” repeated Bubba.
Aunt Vivian laughed. “All right. I think I’ve got chocolate ice cream in the freezer. We’ll go home and eat strawberries and ice cream.”
“Oh, all right,” Krissy said. She drank a fourth glass of wine, while Daddy paid the bill.
Walking out to the van, Krissy stumbled a little and leaned against Daddy. She was drunk.
Daddy took her keys and drove. Saucy scrambled into the very back of the van, as far away from Krissy as she could get.
At home, Aunt Vivian and Saucy cut up the strawberries and fixed everyone bowls of ice cream and strawberries. When Saucy handed a bowl to Krissy, Krissy’s hand was shaking. Saucy went back into the kitchen, as far away from Krissy as she could get. Aunt Vivian wiped her hands on a towel and said, “Fix your own bowl. I’ll be back in a minute.”
Saucy stood with the ice cream scoop in her hand, but didn’t scoop anything. The night was ruined, and she didn’t want ice cream or stupid California strawberries.
A moment later, Aunt Vivian stood in the kitchen doorway staring at her. Her face was flushed as red as the strawberries. “I need to talk to you,” she said.
“OK,” Saucy said.
“In here.” Aunt Vivian led the way to her bedroom. She shut the door and sat on the bed.
Standing in front of Aunt Vivian, Saucy wiped her sticky hands on her pants. What was wrong?
Aunt Vivian turned on the answering machine and played the message from Krissy earlier that day. “Vivian! The kids are gone. . .”
While the tape played, Saucy stared at her shoes. Krissy was going to be mad. She had forgotten about the messages. I can’t tell Aunt Vivian anything, Saucy reminded herself. Krissy had saved Bubba and she owed her.
“What’s going on?” Aunt Vivian asked.
“Nothing. That’s just playing around with the answering machine.”
“Saucy, come sit beside me.”
Saucy looked at her Aunt’s face, then back at her shoes.
Suddenly Aunt Vivian knelt in front of Saucy and tried to look her in the eye. “I want to help you. You can trust me. Did you and Bubba run away from home?”
Emotions battled in Saucy’s chest. Krissy was drunk again right now in front of Daddy and
Aunt Vivian and Uncle Dave. Suddenly, she was mad. Her throat tightened, and she realized her hands were in fists. She’d tried so hard to keep Bubba from ever seeing Krissy drunk, and now he was out there sitting beside her on the couch.
But Krissy had saved Bubba. Saucy wasn’t sure she could keep herself safe, much less Bubba. She took a deep breath and blew it out slowly.
Aunt Vivian was waiting for an answer. Saucy had to have help. She was so overwhelmed with anger, she couldn’t speak. Her head went up and down in a tight nod.
“Did you come here?”
Saucy nodded. Finally, she squeezed the words out, “Can I live with you and Uncle Dave?”
Aunt Vivian sat on the bed and shook her head. “It’s Krissy, isn’t it? She drinks too much. I’ve told your father that, but he won’t listen. He’s in denial.”
“He needs her.” Saucy repeated Daddy’s words. “He shaves. He smiles. He plans things and does them. He knows that Bubba and I are there.”
“Krissy has helped him forget,” Aunt Vivian said. “She’s helped him start living again. Sometimes, when adults are in pain–like your Daddy hurt after your Momma died–sometimes, they get wrapped up in themselves.”
“Daddy’s trying to do better.” Saucy tried to smile, but her face muscles were numb. “We’re going to have a horse ranch.”
Aunt Vivian raised her eyebrows. “He’s going to sell the rig?”
“Yes,” Saucy said. “And buy two mares and take horses to board and give riding lessons.”
“So why did you run away?”
“Krissy drinks. I hide.”
“You what? You get so scared of her that you have to hide?”
Saucy held herself rigid again and just stared at her shoes. Why had she said that? Now, even Aunt Vivian was mad at her.
But Aunt Vivian hugged her and wouldn’t turn loose. “Before he gets busy with plans for a horse ranch, he is going to make sure his children are safe.”
Glancing up quickly, Saucy saw Aunt Vivian’s lips were in a tight line, and her eyes narrowed in anger.
“It’s not like in high school,” Aunt Vivian said, “when he always had a girlfriend, and that girl controlled his entire life. By the time I get through with him, he’ll feel like a Mack truck hit him. I’ll make sure things change for you.”
Relief and fear filled Saucy’s eyes with tears. “Bubba and I could stay with you and Uncle Dave. Uncle Dave likes me. I’ll be good.”
Aunt Vivian stood and put her hand on Saucy’s shoulder. “We’ve got to talk to your father and Krissy. Now.” She opened the door.
“No,” Saucy’s voice trembled. This was not what she had planned. “Don’t tell Krissy.”
18
The Question
Aunt Vivian marched into the living room where everyone was laughing and eating ice cream. “Jonathan Dillard, did you know your children ran away from home?”
Saucy hid in the doorway behind her aunt.
Krissy stood up and swayed. “Saucy, did you tell her that?”
Saucy shrank back until just her eyes peeked around the doorway.
Aunt Vivian said, “No, I listened to my phone messages. You left a message that the kids were gone.”
“Oh.” Krissy sat down and waved a hand. “I found them. They’re fine.”
Daddy tilted his head and looked at Krissy. His voice was puzzled. “They ran away?”
Krissy tried to nod, but her head wobbled around in a circle. “No problem. They’re fine.”
Daddy rose and came toward Saucy. Her heart pounded. He drew her into the room, then his hand lifted her chin, “Saucy?”
Saucy’s throat was tied in knots and words wouldn’t come. “Ask her.” Saucy nodded toward Krissy.
Daddy twisted back to look at Krissy, who was sprawled on the couch. He turned and bent until his eyes were level with Saucy’s. “She’s had too much wine. I’m asking you.”
It surprised her. Daddy was actually saying Krissy was drunk. So he knew that sometimes she drank too much?
The words that she had been longing to say wouldn’t come. She was supposed to be good at words, but somehow words didn’t seem strong enough. Saucy swallowed, then said quietly. “You know she drinks too much? She drinks. I hide.”
Krissy made a snorting sound.
“Are you saying you get so scared that you have to hide?” Daddy said. “I don’t believe it. Why are you making this up? I don’t know what to do when you lie to me.”
Daddy wasn’t listening again. Saucy put her hands on her hips and lifted her chin. “I’m not lying. I hide. But I make sure Bubba is safe.”
At that, Krissy waved her hands wildly in the air. “Yeah, right. What about that cookie man at the store?”
Saucy’s mouth opened, then shut. There was nothing she could say about that.
Bubba said, “He was nice. He just gave me some cookies.”
Krissy sat up and waggled her finger in Bubba’s face. “Not nice. No chocolate chip cookies for you, mister.”
Aunt Vivian looked from Krissy to Bubba to Saucy to Daddy. “OK, this is not good. Jonathan, make coffee for Krissy.” She pulled Saucy to her feet and hugged her protectively. “Saucy and Bubba come to the bedroom, and you’re going to tell Uncle Dave everything that has happened this week. Can you talk to Uncle Dave, Saucy?”
Saucy looked at his normal size ears. If anyone could make her talk, it would be Uncle Dave. But she didn’t want to talk. Yuk! They wanted all talk, talk, talk. That changed nothing. Krissy would still drink. Daddy still wouldn’t hear what she was saying. She shrugged.
“Good,” Aunt Vivian said. “You and Bubba go with him, and we’ll take care of Krissy.”
An hour later, Uncle Dave led Saucy and Bubba out to sit on the couch. He had listened carefully to everything they said. Saucy had told about getting locked out of the house, but how could she explain everything else? How she worried about Krissy so much that her stomach ached. How she worried about getting hit. How she hated sleeping in the cold van outside a beer joint. How she worried about keeping Bubba safe, and how she did such a good job that he didn’t think much was wrong. How she worried and worried and worried.
Talk, talk, talk. It was boring and solved nothing. She told Uncle Dave what she had to and not much more.
“Do you believe me?” she asked.
Uncle Dave nodded. “I do. I listen to kids all day at school. I know when they lie and when they tell the truth. Don’t worry. We’ll get this straightened out.”
Uncle Dave went out and talked to Aunt Vivian and Daddy and maybe to Krissy, and now they were ready for everyone to talk together.
Daddy nodded at her when she walked in. “It’s time we had this conference about the future of our family.”
Because it was dark outside, the blinds were closed. Daddy sat on the small sofa with his arm around Krissy, who leaned on him. Her eyes were bloodshot, but she kept looking up at Daddy with a secret smile. Daddy kissed her gently on the forehead and smoothed her silky hair away from her thin face.
On the opposite sofa, Bubba sat between Aunt Vivian and Uncle Dave while Saucy sat on the end. Bubba was so short, his cowboy boots stuck straight out from the couch. Saucy moved her legs up to sit cross-legged.
Aunt Vivian flinched.
Saucy brushed off the bottom of her shoes, and stuck her feet straight out. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get the sofa dirty.” She wanted to add, “Please don’t be mad at me,” but was afraid that would make Aunt Vivian even madder. She needed Aunt Vivian to like her right now.
Aunt Vivian passed a hand over her eyes. “Child, sofas don’t matter a bit. Not after–”
Daddy cleared his throat. “We’ve all talked it over. I don’t think Krissy has a big drinking problem. But we’re going to talk to some people anyway. Maybe just a little bit of help would make a difference. We’ll decide for sure tomorrow when she’s fully sober, but maybe Alcoholics Anonymous.”
He looked at Saucy, and she thought that she s
hould say something. But what?
“Oh.”
“Do you understand?”
Saucy nodded. Understand what? This was just more empty talk. What was Alcoholics Anonymous, and how did they help people stop drinking? And why didn’t Daddy understand that Krissy had a big problem? How many times did she have to run away before he would listen? But maybe Alcoholics Anonymous would make Daddy listen to her, and she wouldn’t have to run away?
“Good,” Uncle Dave said.
Aunt Vivian took her hand. “So, now, we have a question for you. You can go home with your Daddy and Krissy, or we’ll let you stay with us for a while. Where do you want to live?”
Aunt Vivian had blue eyes, and her curly hair was in a ponytail. She wore a T-shirt for the girl’s basketball team that she coached. Daddy had the same blue eyes, but his were brighter, more glittery.
Saucy was in a whirl. Why were they asking her what she wanted? How did she know what was best? She was only twelve years old. Well, eleven. Until next month. They were the adults, and they were supposed to decide things, not ask her what she wanted. She just wanted to be safe.
“Saucy, honey, you’ve got to decide,” Daddy said.
“Daddy?” Did he want her to stay with Aunt Vivian?
Krissy coughed, and Daddy looked down at her pale face. “Are you OK?”
When Krissy nodded, Daddy looked back at Saucy. “You’ve got to decide.”
Saucy’s face blazed fire-engine red with anger. Her hands tightened into solid fists. She shouldn’t have to decide. Decisions are what adults did. Kids might yell or scream, but Saucy needed to trust adults–especially Daddy–to do what was best. What good did talking or yelling or screaming do her? Yes, she wanted to jerk out Krissy’s blond hair; yes, she wanted to smear lipstick all over the sofa; yes, she wanted to rip up the new fairy tale book. Yes, she was mad enough to do all that. Her fingernails dug into her palms, making marks.
But throwing fits shouldn’t change the question Daddy asked. How could he ask her to decide where she wanted to live? If Daddy asked her opinion, she wanted to live with him–of course. But he didn’t want her opinion. He wanted her to choose.
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