Ellie’s eyes widened. “That’s pure evil. Let’s hope it’s the end of it. I expected the school to want to see me, but they haven’t been in touch.”
Holly put down her glass after taking a hefty draught then filled up both their glasses to the top. “No, they probably won’t after one of the girls gave them all the information they needed. However, the police probably will, if you wouldn’t mind giving a statement. I loathed pursuing the matter further for Leah’s sake, but Phil’s quite right when he says we have to make the assault official. Otherwise, Coral and her cronies will go unpunished for what they did to our daughter. Being stopped from going to school is not a punishment for children of that ilk.”
Once the food arrived, the mood lightened. Holly explained she was a regular at Intimo, often visiting with Phil at a weekend while Leah was at a sleepover with her friends. “It’s a neutral place where we can talk about our daughter and what’s going on in her life. We exchange information because she doesn’t always tell me what she tells Phil and vice versa. We try to make her life simple. It can’t be easy for her having a mum and dad in separate places.”
Ellie loaded a piece of ciabatta with a slice of salami and took a big bite. She tasted the truffle, which blended perfectly with the flavour of the meat. She thought she was in heaven. “Mmm,” she half-hummed, as she closed her eyes. “That is so good. You were saying, about you and Phil being separated.”
“Yes, we parted company when Leah was two. I don’t think marriage suited either of us. Although it was mostly my fault, Phil was the perfect adult about it and said it was both our faults in equal measure, but I know it’s not true. We get on better now than we ever did, thank goodness. We don’t want Leah feeling any guilt from our actions.”
Ellie had finished her starter in time to give Holly her full attention. She spoke while nibbling on the crisps. “I’m glad it’s worked out so amicable for you. Too often children are the pawns in break-ups. Some kind of bargaining chip. It’s not fair at all, and I’m sure it must have lasting damage.”
Lorenzo made an appearance and cleared the table. Holly picked up the bottle and waggled it in front of her. “Could we have another bottle, please,” she asked, fluttering her eyelashes wildly at him.
It made him laugh. “Certainly, madam. It will be a pleasure.”
Ellie took a long drink from her wine glass, hoping to drop the level somewhat. She thought she would have had enough by now, but felt very relaxed by her consumption of the red wine. She looked across the table at Holly and took in, for the first time that evening, exactly who the person was sitting opposite from her. They had started the evening as strangers, but within a short time, it was obvious they were destined to be friends.
Holly looked as though she had tried to straighten the curly tresses but achieved a wavy kind of forties look, which really suited her. The stunning large green eyes were set in a heart-shaped face, which now possessed extra rosy cheeks. Her skin held the soft bloom of a peach. Her clothes were smart casual, much like Ellie herself wore, but the colour scheme of lemon blouse and green slacks gave her a much livelier appearance. Ellie’s colours were earthy. Much duller, she thought to herself. A reflection of her current life, she mused.
Ellie’s eyes wandered back to Holly’s skin. How she’d love to caress it… all over. With her eyes closed and fingertips surveying information to her brain, she would relish it. She smiled at the thought. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so alive. So aroused. Perhaps it was the ambience, the smell of jasmine, the candlelight, or just Holly.
“Well, something’s tickled your fancy. Where did the smile come from?”
Ellie nearly choked on the mouthful of liquid she’d just swallowed. She hadn’t realised she’d been caught in the act of ogling her companion. She wiped the overspill of the liquid from the corner of her mouth. “I was just thinking if I’m not too full after my main meal, I might try some of the ice cream.”
Holly laughed. “If you look like that at the thought of ice cream, goodness knows what your reaction would be at the thought of a passionate encounter!” She held up her hand, palm facing Ellie. “No, please don’t tell me. Too much info,” she added with a giggle.
The highlight of the meal was the ceremonial cracking of the salt crust on Holly’s sea bass and the look on her face when she began to eat it. “Don’t you dare talk about me and the ice cream. You should see the look on your face! You look as though you’ve gone to heaven,” said Ellie, grinning from ear to ear.
“Honestly, Ellie. I can’t explain how good this is. You must taste it.” She loaded her fork with some fish and offered it to Ellie.
Ellie couldn’t think of anything more romantic than feeding each other forksful of food. “Thank you,” she said, pushing her head forward to accept the food. The green eyes held her own in a stare, as they twinkled in the candlelight. “Ooo,” said Ellie. “That is really good. Would you like to try one of the mussels? I can highly recommend them.”
Holly nodded, never taking her eyes from Ellie’s face. She wrapped her hand around Ellie’s as she accepted the food. She closed her eyes while she chewed… slowly. Ellie thought it one of the most erotic moments she had ever witnessed.
“That good, huh?” Ellie asked in a low voice. The wine and the fragrance of Holly’s perfume were making her actions bold and her mind wild. She felt more than a little tipsy.
Holly nodded in reply. “Divine. Like the company.” She held Ellie’s gaze as before.
Ellie felt herself redden even more. “That’s a lovely thing to say. You’ve made my first outing in a long time very pleasurable. Thank you.”
The atmosphere changed dramatically by the end of the meal, both women relaxing into the spontaneity and the moment.
“I can’t believe I’m too full to manage a pudding,” said Holly, pulling the corners of her mouth down and puffing out her cheeks. “I don’t even get my After Eight with my coffee!”
Ellie had been waiting for an opportunity to prolong the evening. She didn’t want it to end. Just the thought of going back to an empty house and loneliness depressed her. She knew she would spend the rest of the evening listening for Alex’s footsteps on the stairs. Sometimes, she did hear them.
“I’ll tell you what. Why not come back with me, and then, when you’re feeling less full, I’ll make coffee. I’ll even give you some dark chocolate to go with it. How does that sound?”
Holly tilted her head to the left and furrowed her brow. Her cheeks reddened some more, and her eyes flashed. “Is that the same as offering me cookies to come to the dark side.”
Ellie took a few moments to grasp what she was saying. She let out a belly laugh and tapped Holly playfully on the arm. “Is that a yes?”
The reply was frank. “Of course, it is. Why would I want this evening to end?”
As they gazed into each other’s eyes, Lorenzo popped his head around the corner of the alcove. “Your taxi is here, Mrs Simons,” he said apologetically. “I’m sorry to interrupt.”
They made their way to the door, each wondering how the night was going to progress.
Each praying for the same thing.
5
As she showed Holly into her home, Ellie felt relieved. She was glad she’d spent the morning cleaning, although there was very little do now that Alex was no longer with her. She went ahead of Holly, leading her into the lounge, and turned on the small lamp on the side table, achieving a warm, suffused glow in the room.
Holly had shrugged off her coat and handed it to Ellie’s offered hand. “Please, have a seat while I get things sorted out. Make yourself comfy.”
“Would you mind if I took my shoes off? They are beginning to feel uncomfortably tight. That’s what I get for wearing new shoes.”
“You feel free to do what you like. I’m not one for standing on ceremony.” Ellie offered Holly a smile. She received a grin in reply.
“You’re so lucky not to have children under your feet, bein
g able to do what you want when you want. You can never keep the house clean. It’s like painting the Forth Bridge… it never ends. I don’t know how a twelve-year-old can make such a mess when she’s in her room most of the time. I feel like putting a biohazard warning on the front door.” Holly smirked at her own comments.
She’d lost Ellie at the beginning of the conversation. What she wouldn’t give to have a messy Alex back with her. Her heart ached with longing. She was suddenly sober. She turned her back on Holly. “I’ll go make the coffee,” she said sombrely, her face—pained.
Ellie shuffled into the kitchen, eyes on the floor, her shoulders rounded. She gazed around trying to locate the things she would need in her head. In her confusion, it looked and felt like someone else’s kitchen. She breathed heavily, trying to focus. She took the cafetière from the cupboard above the kettle and then turned the kettle on to boil. She slowly assembled a tray with the other things they would need.
Holly’s voice emanated from the hallway. “What a handsome looking little chap. Is he a relative? He definitely has your looks.”
Ellie turned very slowly, knowing Holly would be standing in front of Alex’s photo. Her voice was almost a growl. “He was my son.”
Holly turned her head towards Ellie. “Oh, I’m sorry. Does he live with his dad?”
Ellie bowed her head and shook it vigorously hoping to keep away the tears. She was fighting a losing battle. Tears coursed from her eyes and dropped on the floor.
Holly lifted her hand to her mouth and rushed to Ellie’s side. “Oh, no, Ellie. Don’t tell me. He died?”
Ellie lifted her head and nodded. “An accident in the park last June,” she croaked, shifting her body in an effort to find something to do with her hands. As a last resort, she wrapped them tightly around herself. She was shaking intensely.
Holly’s arms enveloped her and pulled her into a full-body contact hug. “Come on, you need to sit down. I’ll make the drinks when you’re settled.”
Ellie looked into Holly’s eyes. In them, she saw a deep sorrow, but Holly spoke no further words until they reached the lounge. “You come and sit down on the sofa.”
Ellie did as requested, too spent to argue. Holly bent down and took off Ellie’s shoes, then lifted her legs over the seating. As Holly gently caressed her cheek, Ellie closed her eyes, feeling ashamed of her reaction in front of Holly. She was hoping to get through the evening without tears. She was annoyed at herself for not succeeding. This is why she kept away from social situations. This is what Holly would remember of their evening together. Not the fun they’d had.
“You put your head back for a few moments while I go make the drinks. I think tea might be in order rather than coffee. We don’t want you awake all night.”
Ellie nodded without opening her eyes. Shame clawed at her from the dark recesses of her mind. “I’m sorry,” she said vacantly. “So sorry for spoiling your evening.”
Holly cupped Ellie’s chin with her hands, lifting Ellie’s gaze to meet her own. “You have nothing to be sorry about. Our evening has been perfect and still is. I’ll be back in a moment with tea. You rest a while.”
Ellie’s mind was in a whirr. Could she find it in herself to face Holly ever again, even on her Thursday visits to the library? Could she hide her embarrassment and shame? The clatter of cupboard doors and rattling of cups told Ellie searching was going on in the kitchen. She wanted to get up and help, but couldn’t. She could feel the shaking and weakness in her legs. She’d had prescription pills for her moments of extreme anxiety, but she wouldn’t be able to take them because her alcohol level would be too high. She let out a deep sigh, screwing her eyes even tighter shut than they were already. What a mess her life was.
She could feel Holly’s presence in the room. Her subtle perfume edged its way in front of her. The aroma aroused Ellie’s senses. Despite her efforts for it not to happen, it stirred her dormant longing. Just the touch of another human being, the fingers and hands expressing a longing in them too, creating the magical charge between her and Holly. She longed to wake with her skin touching warm flesh, her arm draped across a woman’s midriff. She longed for these things deep in her subconscious. She rejected the thoughts with all her might.
Holly offered the tray when Ellie opened her eyes. “Tea. The cure for all ills.” Holly realised what she’d said when it was too late. As she placed the tray on the coffee table, she added, in a low voice, “Well, perhaps not all.” Her eyes were downcast in supplication.
Ellie offered a weak smile. “I’m sorry for the outburst. As you can see, I can’t seem to get over it.” Tears began to form again, this time, leaking slowly from the bottom lids.
Holly’s face showed a sympathetic look, her own eyes glazed with wetness. She reached out her hand and laid it on top of Holly’s. “Grief doesn’t come with a use-by date.” She asserted some pressure on Ellie’s hand as if to reinforce her point. “Come on, tea time.” She grabbed a tissue from the box on the coffee table and handed it to Ellie without saying a word. Holly couldn’t speak anyway, because of the lump of emotion beginning to immobilise her throat.
Holly poured then handed Ellie a mug of tea. She lifted the milk and sugar and offered them to Ellie, who took the milk and dispensed a little into her mug.
“Feeling a little more human now?” asked Holly, concern still showing in her voice. It warbled slightly as she spoke.
Ellie picked up the tissue with her free hand and finished drying her tears. She nodded in assent. “Much, thank you. The grief still comes over me in a wave, and as it crashes, so do I.” Ellie stared in front of her, wanting to share more with this fabulous woman, but not knowing how.
“I don’t care how long it’s been, if you need a good cry, you need one. That’s all there is to it,” said Holly. She took a long pull on her tea. “If you don’t feel like talking, then don’t, but if you do, I’m a good listener. I know my mouth runs ten to the dozen most times, but I can keep it shut when necessary.”
Ellie smiled with her eyes. “There I was thinking you were an incessant gasbag.”
Holly grabbed a tissue from the box and balled it up, then threw it directly at Ellie. “Watch who you’re calling a gasbag.”
Ellie laughed a belly laugh. She was amazed how this woman was handling the situation. It would have been so easy for her to grab her stuff and run for the hills. Ellie tilted her head to one side and looked into pools of green that were Holly’s eyes.
“I want to thank you for being so kind to me. You make me feel better. It’s a gift if you ask me. Not everyone has the capacity to feel empathy. It seems to come naturally to you, and I’m grateful for it.”
Holly shook her head. “Just a little common sense, that’s all. It’s what friends do. They support each other.”
Ellie’s eyebrows dropped, giving her face a questioning look. “Is that what we are? Friends? You hardly know me.”
“I don’t think there was ever any doubt—on my part anyway. You’re the kind of person I want in my life. Fun to be with and caring, about other people. I don’t think I’ve ever had such a fun evening as I had tonight. Despite your woes, Ellie, you’re marvellous company. So thank you from Phil and me for looking after Leah. We’ll be eternally grateful.”
“I’d love to be friends. I don’t seem to have many left now, and since Alex’s accident, I’ve hardly seen any of them. I think some are embarrassed about the way I handle my grief. The others, well, they don’t seem to know what to say. I don’t hold it against them, but I think the closeness has gone.” Ellie was genuinely sad, and her face reflected it. Some of the friends she’d had since school days. They were so supportive when she told them she was gay, and when she decided to have a baby alone. Yet they weren’t there when she needed them the most. “My mum and dad have been brilliant throughout, though. So I did have lots of support.” A faint smile crossed her lips.
“Oh, bless them. Their hearts must have been breaking—twice over. To watch you in yo
ur grief and to lose a grandchild must have been unbearable for them.”
Ellie nodded in agreement. “I found my dad sobbing at the kitchen sink one morning. I was so busy thinking about my own loss, I’d completely forgotten about theirs. The episode certainly brought me to my senses. I appreciated them more than ever… and still do.”
Holly looked down and was surprised to find her mug completely drained of tea. Her eyes wandered to the clock, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Ellie.
“You must be ready to head home. Shall I phone for a taxi?” Ellie hoped she’d managed to keep the sadness from her voice.
Holly shook her head. “No, if it’s okay with you, I’ll stay over. Firstly, if you need to talk during the night, I’d like to be here to listen. Secondly, I hate going home to an empty house, so I am being partly selfish.”
Ellie felt a great relief in the pit of her stomach as her muscles relaxed. Her tension seemed to ebb away by hearing Holly’s voice and the comforting aroma of her scent. “First, I want to say I’m okay, so if you want to go home, you can. I’m not going to do anything silly.” Ellie raised her eyebrows, making her eyes wide. “But if you would still like to stay, I certainly have no objection.”
Holly’s smile turned into a wide grin, showing off perfect teeth, at the same time she held up her hand. “In that case, I promise not to rob you of your family heirlooms.”
Ellie laughed and threw a cushion at her. “I bet you say that to all the girls!”
“Not lately,” added Holly quietly, with a smirk.
Ellie came into the kitchen while Holly was clearing away the tea things. Holly had managed to locate the dishwasher behind a cupboard front. “I love what I’ve seen of the house, Ellie. You’re very talented, and I’m so envious.”
The Harbinger Page 5