“Sea air, reading too late followed by deep thoughts for a couple of hours. I was lucky to drag myself out of bed when I did. I beat housekeeping by a few minutes. They must be used to me being an early riser, too.” Ellie broke eye contact as she got to work on her second croissant. She felt relaxed in Ciara’s company, as she had since the day they’d met. Day after day, they’d chatted more and more, while it was just the two of them during the early morning.
Ciara put down her coffee cup and cleared her throat. “What are you up to today? Anything good?”
Ellie shook her head. “Nothing planned. Just the usual… eating, reading, walking—repeat.”
“How do you fancy a little shopping then a spot of lunch? It won’t be that stimulating, but it will be a break from the routine. I’d be grateful of the company. I hate shopping alone.” Her eyes were downcast for a moment, as though embarrassed to ask the question.
Ellie felt a little frisson of excitement in her tummy. “Yes, I think I could manage some shopping, although I have to admit, it’s not my favourite pastime.” She wiped her mouth on her napkin, ridding herself of the stray flakes of pastry. “I could actually do with some new stuff myself. Just a couple of lightweight jumpers. I forgot to pack some in my haste to leave. Serves me right.” Ellie gave a half-hearted laugh.
With the last bite of her Danish pastry finished, Ciara gave a little pump in the air. “Great! Lunch will be my treat.”
Ellie shook her head. “I can’t agree to that unless you let me pay for both breakfasts.”
Ciara studied for a moment, narrowing her eyes. “Go on then,” she said, “for the sake of the business.”
Ciara wandered across and had a word with Margaret, who was serving the last person in the queue. Ellie folded her paper and put it in the top of her bag so she could tackle the crossword later, then walked to the pay desk and paid for their breakfasts. A few minutes later, Ciara returned having retrieved her outdoor coat from the back room. She was ready to leave.
“Come on then,” she said tucking a scarf into the neck of her coat. “Let’s hit those shops.”
Hit them they did—energetically. Ellie couldn’t believe how quickly the morning had passed her by, flitting as they had from shop to shop. Chain stores to bijou boutiques, Ciara made shopping a very new experience for Ellie. No clothes business was safe from Ciara. She bustled her way around inside the shops, sliding coat hangers with a clatter, as they collided with their neighbours at great speed. Then, once she’d selected her prospective purchases, she made her way to the changing rooms, insisting Ellie stay outside the cubicles so she could ask advice or merely model them for Ellie’s approval.
Ellie admired Ciara’s body. Although not overly tall, Ellie guessed she was around five feet six inches and perfectly in proportion. Her skin was white as alabaster, wrinkle and blemish free. Her nearly black hair hung just below her shoulders, shining unforgivingly reflecting the harsh artificial light. She radiated beauty. Ellie was sure Ciara didn’t realise how beautiful she was.
“What do you think to these for going to dinner in?” she asked twirling on the spot. Ellie nodded approvingly at the sage green trousers, which fit as though they’d been handmade for her. “I thought maybe matched with one of the blouses from the last shop.”
“The apricot one would look lovely with them,” said Ellie, trying to drag her eyes away from the black bra, Ciara was displaying. Ellie licked her lips involuntarily, as she glanced at the impressively full orbs displayed in a half-cup. A sudden feeling of guilt engulfed her. Holly crossed her mind. Why did Ellie feel as though she and Holly were a couple and she was being unfaithful? Ellie had to remind herself they had a deep friendship. Nothing more, nothing less. Romantic feelings didn’t come into it. Yes, she had fantasised about Holly, but neither of them had pushed the bar higher in their relationship. They hadn’t even sat down and explored the possibility. So why the guilt? In her mind, Ellie broached the subject of being voyeuristic but dismissed the thought instantly. No, she had always been a doer, not a watcher.
Ellie was back in the present when, eventually, Ciara spoke to her. “That’s me done,” she said with a broad smile. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like to look some more? You might be tempted.”
Ellie gave a quick burst of laughter. “Only someone who didn’t know me well would say something like that. Anyway, unless I’m mistaken, it’s lunchtime. Come on—take me to the pub you’ve been telling me about.”
Ciara nodded her head, as she picked up what seemed to be tens of shopping bags. She raised them aloft in triumph. “Good job the pub is only a couple of streets away,” she said with a grin. “Time for some good old pub grub!”
Steam rose from their plates of food as the proprietor placed them on the table in front of the two women.
“Thanks, Evelyn,” said Ciara leaning forward and sniffing the aroma rising from her plate. She closed her eyes and smiled.
Evelyn, an elderly woman with a skinny figure and a long face with mournful eyes, laughed. “No need to go into raptures, Ciara. It’s only steak and kidney pudding.”
“But the best in England, in my humble opinion. I’ve tasted a good few, as well.”
“If you say so, dear,” Evelyn replied, placing a hand on Ciara’s shoulder. “Enjoy your lunch, ladies,” she said, giving Ellie a nod in passing as she left them to eat.
They shared the vegetables, and each poured a good amount of gravy over the top of their meals.
“I hope you like it,” said Ciara. “My mum makes a mean pudding, being a good Irish girl and all, but Evelyn’s is better. Just don’t tell my mum I said that!” Ciara cut into the thick suet crust and watched as the unctuous meat filling spilt onto her plate. “Heaven… pure heaven.”
“Ah,” said Ellie taking her first mouthful of food, savouring the delicious flavour before swallowing. “I wondered where you’d inherited your colour combination from. Pale skin and dark hair.”
“Yes, actually from my dad. My mother has light red hair. My dad’s from Eire, and my mum is Northern Irish. They came here to get some peace.” A slightly annoyed look crossed her features.
“The troubles?” asked Ellie, not wanting to pry but just verifying the reason.
Ciara nodded, but kept on eating, as though trying to avoid the subject. “Amongst other things. I just wish both families would grow up. In fact, I wish the whole world would grow up. If I had my way, I’d have every world leader sign a document bearing today’s date, saying that’s it. From today onwards, you have what you have… Get on with it. Wipe the history away. Paintballing will settle any dispute. Just another day in Narnia.” She laughed and put a carrot in her mouth. “Sorry for the rant.”
Ellie held up her hand. “Don’t worry about ranting in front of me. I’ve had my moments, recently.” Ellie sipped on some water as she thought about her mum. “Everyone at home must hate me at the moment. Hence the unexpected holiday. I’m better off away from everyone.”
Ciara’s eyes grew sympathetic as she stared at Ellie. “Feel like sharing those ‘everyone hates me moments’ or does the thought hurt too much?” she asked before eating her last piece of steak and kidney pudding.
Ellie pushed away her plate, only leaving a couple of pieces of carrot. “I wouldn’t know where to start,” she said in reply, moving her hair away from her face by pushing it behind her ears. In fact, Ellie thought it might be good to share her thoughts with a comparative stranger. It would help to get someone else’s point of view. How would Ellie herself know if she were overreacting to certain situations?
Ciara continued to stare her down. “Start at the beginning,” she said softly, “and before you start, I’ll get some wine.”
Ellie took a big gulp of Rioja before she began to speak. Her mouth tingled with the taste of summer berries, as she watched the alcohol run down the inside of her glass. She needed a high percentage of alcohol to get her through this.
“I suppose it all began with the death of my son
, Alex, in a freak accident at the playground of our local park.”
Ellie took another large gulp of her wine, hoping swallowing it would encourage the lump forming in her throat to go with it. Ciara made no comment, not even condolences.
“My mum and dad were a godsend. Some days I couldn’t even get out of bed, but they were there through it all supporting me, encouraging me. Don’t get me wrong, I will never be able to repay their kindness. My dad never asks for anything in return. My mother, however, is a different matter entirely.”
Ciara nodded and still didn’t make any comment. Ellie was surprised how easy it was to talk to her. So often people interrupted and broke the flow of her thoughts. Ciara was different.
“It’s not like my mum expects money or anything. It’s more that she takes liberties with my time and my emotions.” Ellie explained about the Michael Devlin involvement and the latest developments.
Ciara took a drink from her glass and spoke for the first time. “I take it your mother’s retired, then. Being able to take such an active role with the library and all. No doubt she was in charge at work.”
Ellie nodded in reply, her eyes bright with attention, and then added, “Right on both counts. She was a matron at the hospital.”
“Seems to me she’s making you one of her nurses. I bet she expects a certain type of behaviour from you.”
Ellie was wide-eyed with astonishment at Ciara’s perception. “Yes, she does,” she answered none too proudly.
“For what it’s worth, I think you’ve done the right thing. Her own grief could be affecting the way she’s thinking. Because you’re her child, she’s putting you first. She’s trying to be super-efficient to show you and everyone else that she’s coping. Once everything is on an even keel, she’ll be able to grieve for herself. How long’s it been?” she asked tenderly.
Ellie thought of her mum and could feel her eyes filling with tears. “The end of last June,” she said, not able to look Ciara in the eye. She threw back the last of the red wine in the glass.
“Everybody reacts to grief in a different way and in their own time. You can’t force someone to get over a loss. Neither should you rope them in to cope with yours… emotionally, I mean. Offered help is a different thing. Is your mum the only problem?”
“No, not really.” Ellie refilled Ciara’s glass and then her own. “I have this situation with a friend. The first thing you should know is… I’m gay.”
Ciara’s face looked impassive. Ellie tried to explain the main points about her and Holly’s meeting and how the friendship had grown from there. She also explained about Leah.
“So Holly is gay as well, but has an ex-husband on the scene who uses Leah as an excuse,” she asked inquisitively.
Ellie eyebrows lifted. “What do you mean… excuse?”
“Well, it sounds to me as though he’s using his daughter to keep tabs on his ex.” Now it was Ciara’s turn to lift her eyebrows.
“Why would you think that? Do you still think he has feelings for Holly?” Ellie asked.
“I certainly do,” Ciara said. “Despite what you say about him being a good father and having a new woman in his life, he sounds to me like just another control freak. I bet Holly made the first move in the break-up. He probably went along with it in the hope she’d see the error of her ways pretty soon afterwards. When she didn’t, it seems the worm turned. I hope you don’t think I’m speaking out of turn with this. Just ignore me if you think I’m wrong.”
“I don’t know what to think, except I need the loo. Back in a minute.” Ellie walked away from the table and followed the sign for the women’s toilet. She was questioning her own thoughts about Phil and why she disliked him from the off. Perhaps she sensed what Ciara had said about him without realising it.
27
A couple of minutes after Ellie left for the loo, her phone began to ring and buzz at the same time. It snaked its way across the smooth, shiny surface of the table. Ciara glanced in the direction of the loos, but there was no sign of Ellie coming back.
Ciara lifted the phone and swiped the green icon to answer it. “Ellie’s phone,” she said cheerfully. “I’m afraid she’s not available at the moment. Would you like her to ring you back?” she asked, trying to be helpful.
The silence on the other end was deafening.
“Hello? Can you hear me?” Ciara asked, but no reply was forthcoming, only the sound of dead air. It was then Ciara noticed what the caller information showed…
Holly.
“Oh, shit,” she said to herself in a low voice. Ciara’s stomach dropped, knowing another woman answering Ellie’s phone would have given Holly totally the wrong impression. She felt mortified but had no idea how to rectify the situation. Should she phone back and explain that Ellie had only nipped to the loo? She closed her eyes and tipped her head back, wishing a big mouth would come along and swallow her up. That’s what you get for trying to be helpful.
As Ellie neared the table, Ciara looked over her shoulder then picked up Ellie’s phone and waggled it at her. Ellie noticed Ciara’s sheepish look before she sat down, knowing there was an apology coming.
“Ellie, I’m so sorry,” she said in the most apologetic voice she could muster, her small pixie face looking sheepish. “It started to ring and vibrate, and there was no sign of you coming back from the loo, so…”
“You answered it?” asked Ellie, half questioning and half in disbelief.
Ciara’s expressive eyes looked sad. She looked as though she might burst into tears any minute. “It was Holly’s phone. I don’t know if it was her calling because she didn’t speak. Just ended the call.”
Ellie’s reaction was calm, and it was many moments before she spoke again. “Oh, well,” she said dismissively. “She’ll phone back if it’s important.”
Ciara took a slug from her wine, never taking her eyes off Ellie, trying to work out if Ellie understood the implications of what had just happened. “You do realise what she’ll be thinking, don’t you, Ellie?” she asked furtively. “She’ll be thinking—”
“Not my problem,” she answered sharply, the steely determined look in her eye reflecting her mood. “Holly can think what she wants. If she doesn’t call back, I’ll phone her tomorrow evening to talk to Leah and try to explain why I had to leave early. They both know there were problems, which there are, just not ones they think. Anyway, let’s not spoil the day by hashing it over. Now I think I’ll get back to the hotel and have myself a little reading session. What about you?”
As if on cue, Ciara yawned. “I feel like a little piggy, just wanting to sleep now that I’ve eaten, and that’s exactly what I am going to do. I’ll head back to the flat and get my head down for a couple of hours. I feel absolutely shattered.” She took her purse from her bag and headed to the bar to pay their lunch bill.
Ellie grabbed all the bags littering the floor and arranged them on the table. When Ciara returned, Ellie pointed to the bags, then the empty floor. “Come on,” she said as Ciara placed her bag over her shoulder. “I’ll give you a hand back to where you live with all these. Do we need to get a taxi or is it within walking distance?”
Ciara shook her head and then smiled. “I live above the café. I thought you knew. Sorry, I should have said. I live there and bake off the premises. I rent a little unit at the bottom of the street where the newsagents are. I do all my baking there and then bring it to the shop in the van at sparrow’s fart.”
Ellie laughed at the expression. “In that case, I know where I’m going. Follow me.”
The space where Ciara lived consisted of two floors, with an oak staircase running between the two. It shouted the opulence of a bygone age, with high ceilings and a beautiful intricately tiled, mosaic floor. The alterations, if there had been any, were tasteful.
The living room was large, bearing two bay windows. An area to the right of the door was given over to a kitchen, large enough to house all the usual appliances. Ellie stared at the range and wonde
red how it arrived in the space where it currently stood and the engineering work required for the extraction of cooking fumes. She smiled to herself, thinking she would have to stop living her job.
Ciara arrived from downstairs, where she’d been checking in with Margaret, who’d looked a bit frazzled when they came in the front door.
“Everything okay?” asked Ellie hoping that if there was something wrong, it wasn’t anything serious.
“Yes, everything’s fine now. Margaret had a mini-meltdown earlier. The oldest child was ill in school this morning, so she had to arrange with hubby to go pick him up. Other than that, everything is fine. Would you like a quick coffee before you go back to the hotel? I have lots up here,” asked Ciara who seemed to have caught her second wind. Her face was fresh and eyes alert, no sign at all of the tiredness she’d displayed after her lunch.
“Oh, go on then,” Ellie answered with a slow smile. “I can read any time. You are very good at tempting me.”
Ciara laughed loudly. “That’s what my last boyfriend used to say,” she said with a giggle. “He used to cost me a fortune in coffee, though I’m not sure he used to appreciate the subtle differences between them. I could have given him Nescafe, and he wouldn’t have known the difference. The moron.” She screwed up her face.
Ellie let out an unexpected guffaw. Not because of what Ciara had said, but the fact she herself had read Ciara all wrong. She suspected, and taken it as read that Ciara was gay. Now she felt a bit of a plonker. Her gaydar was so far off the mark, she deserved to have her toaster taken back.
The Harbinger Page 23