by Dara Girard
Suzanne looked at Mandy’s hand and didn’t see a ring, but was sure that would come soon enough. She glanced at the porch swing and the embarrassment of her behavior yesterday rushed back to her with painful clarity. Like her father and Wallace, Rick probably liked his women on the side to be docile and unobtrusive. Instantly she realized that she’d asked for something she knew he could never give—loyalty and faithfulness.
Suzanne stepped back and opened the door wider. “Please do come in. The house is yours. No place is off-limits.”
“It’s not what you think,” Rick said in a low voice, glancing at Mandy who was sniffing the freshly picked flowers in the foyer.
“How do you know what I’m thinking?” Suzanne replied in a cool tone, not meeting his gaze. “Are you a mind reader?”
He stepped in front of her. “I can explain.”
She turned away and straightened a picture on the wall. “There’s no need to.”
“I won’t show them your bedroom.”
“You can show them any room you want to. I’m staying in the attic.” She smiled at him with smug indifference. “Don’t worry, I don’t plan to stay long, Mr. Gordon.”
“Call me Mr. Gordon one more time and you will regret it,” he said in an acid tone.
“That won’t be anything new. I regret a lot of things when it comes to you.”
His jaw twitched, but before he could say anything, Mandy called out to him from the living room.
“Oh, it’s beautiful,” she said, darting through the rooms like a kid in a toy shop. “Rick it’s wonderful. Has your mother seen it yet?”
“Not yet, but soon.”
“And the furniture is perfect.” She rushed over to an item on the mantle. “Wow, a genuine antique clock.”
Suzanne shook her head. “Actually, it’s—”
Rick rested a hand on her shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze. “Yes,” he cut in.
“I’m surprised.” Mandy looked at Suzanne. “You should see his apartment. Nothing in it is older than the last decade.” Mandy smiled and studied the bookshelves.
Suzanne glared at him. “What are you up to? Or do you regularly lie to her?”
He grinned. “So you are interested in our relationship. You had me worried.”
“I don’t like deception.”
He shrugged. “No one needs to know,” he said, removing his hand.
Mandy looked at the dining room. “Rick, come see this.”
He turned to Suzanne and said, “Don’t leave,” before following Mandy into the other room.
Suzanne was about to do just that when she noticed a small figure standing near the doorway. Luke. She’d forgotten about him. Had they forgotten him, too? Mandy was an absentminded mother if that was the case. The boy stared at the floor as if it were the most fascinating thing in the world. Suzanne loved children and had always hoped to have a few of her own, but fate hadn’t given her that choice. She wondered if Rick knew how lucky he was.
She squatted in front of the boy. “My name is Miss Suzanne.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said in the same soft tone as before.
“Don’t you want to see your new house?”
“Yes,” he said, but he didn’t move.
Suzanne was trying to think of something to break through his shyness when she noticed the reptile prints on his shirt and glanced at his hat again. “There’s a pond out back.”
He lifted his gaze, intrigued. He looked so much like Rick it unnerved her.
“A pond?” he said. “Really?”
“Yes and you can see it clearly from one of the rooms upstairs. Would you like to see it?”
He nodded and took her hand with instant trust. Suzanne’s heart shifted, surprised by the feel of his small hand in hers. She headed upstairs to one of the spare rooms.
“Where are you going?” Rick demanded when they were halfway up the stairs.
“To see the pond!” Luke said as though Suzanne was taking him to the circus. “Come, Daddy.”
“Yes, Daddy,” Suzanne teased, still trying to reconcile herself with his new role. “Come on.”
Rick sent her a hooded look she couldn’t interpret then followed them up the stairs.
“Where’s Mandy?” Suzanne asked as she opened the door to one of the rooms.
“Somewhere,” Rick said without much interest. “Don’t worry, she’ll find us.”
“Yes, I suppose she’s used to finding you in a bedroom.”
Before Rick could reply, Luke ran to the window and stared at the pond enchanted. “I can see the pond. Daddy, look!”
Rick walked up to him and rested a hand on his shoulder. “I knew you would like it.”
“You didn’t tell me it had a pond.”
“I wanted to surprise you.”
Suzanne watched the pair with a slight ache of longing. They looked like the perfect picture of a father and his son and it was an intimate portrait where she didn’t belong. She took a step back. “I’ll leave you two and—”
Luke spun around with dismay. “No, don’t go, Miss Suzanne.”
Suzanne bit her lip finding no reason to stay, but Luke’s liquid brown gaze softened her resolve. “Okay, I’ll stay just a few minutes.” She sat down on the bed, and before she could motion for him to sit besides her, he scrambled up on the bed and promptly sat on her lap. Suzanne looked at Rick for guidance, but he appeared as surprised by his son’s boldness as she was.
“Luke, you’re supposed to ask permission before you sit on someone’s lap,” he said.
“Miss Suzanne doesn’t mind. She likes me.” He looked up at her. “Right?”
“Right,” she said, wondering if he were truly as shy as he’d first seemed.
“Can you tell me a story? Daddy says you know lots.”
She glanced at Rick wondering what else he’d told his son. “I do.”
“But you can only tell me your safe ones.”
“My safe ones?”
“Yes.” He giggled. “Granny says that you tell dirty stories, but I’m not big enough to hear them yet. And she says—”
Rick cleared his throat. “That’s enough about Grandma. Let Miss Suzanne tell you a story.”
“Okay.”
Suzanne thought for a moment, then said, “Well, let me tell you how a pond came to be in our backyard. One day, when I was about your age, I wanted to go swimming, but I couldn’t find any water. So I decided that I would make my own swimming pool. I found some of my mother’s gardening tools in the barn and went out in search of the perfect place. When I found a small hole in the ground, already filled with some rainwater, I decided that that was where my swimming pool would be. I did some digging, a lot I thought at the time, and when I was finished I decided to try it out and go for a swim.
“Well, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that I got a lot of mud all over me. I had a great time, but when I tried to enter the kitchen, my mother screamed in horror at the sight of me covered in mud, and my dad had to take me out back and use a hose to wash me down. I cried and cried, because I couldn’t understand why they were so angry. My dad kept asking me, ‘What on earth were you doing, child?’ In between my tears, I told him that I had gone swimming in my swimming pool.
“Well, later that day, my father found my swimming hole and hired a contractor to create a ‘proper’ pond for me to swim in. The contractor was the father of Billy Waxman, a boy in my class who liked me. When Billy found out that his father was making a pond for me, he had his dad fill it with goldfish and tadpoles. Billy was my first boyfriend. He liked me a lot and I liked him a lot. We were in first grade. So you see, you will be only the second little boy to play in the pond. Billy was the first.”
“I want this to be my room,” Luke said, scurrying off her lap.
“I’m glad you like it.”
“I can wake up and see the pond every day.”
“Yes, and there are frogs and snakes and fish.”
“Really?”
&
nbsp; “Yes. When I was a little girl I used to sit out there and play my violin.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “And sometimes, if you listened really carefully, you could hear the crickets play along with me.”
Luke widened his eyes and said, “Can you play your violin for me so I can hear them?”
“It’s been a long time and I’m sure the crickets are gone.”
“You could make them come back. Maybe because they haven’t heard the violin since you left so they went away. But when they hear it, maybe they will come again.”
Suzanne sent Rick a rueful look. “Smart kid.” She returned her gaze to Luke. “Maybe another time.”
“When? Tomorrow?”
“No, but we’ll see.”
He pointed to an image on his shirt. “Do you know what this is?”
“No.”
“It’s a green tree frog.” He pointed to another image. “And this is a spring pepper and this is a pig frog.”
“Wow,” Suzanne said, impressed.
Luke lifted his head, basking in her praise. “I can tell you the names of all the frogs on my shirt,” he said. Smiling broadly, he pointed to each frog and told her its name.
“Good job,” she said once he’d finished.
He leaned against her. “Daddy’s gonna get me a book on crocodiles, but crocodiles don’t live in ponds.”
“No,” Suzanne said in a soft voice. It was too comfortable being with him. His little body curled up against hers. He was not just any child, he was Rick’s child. He smelled good and she could imagine tucking him into bed at night and kissing his forehead in the morning. “I’d better go,” she said, desperate to escape. She stood and headed for the door despite Luke’s cry of protest, but Mandy stopped her.
Chapter 10
“This is where you disappeared to,” Mandy said, suddenly appearing in the doorway and blocking Suzanne’s escape. “What ya’ll looking at?”
“The pond,” Suzanne said, reluctantly returning to the bed.
Mandy rolled her eyes. “That boy and his slimy creatures.”
“This is going to be my room.” Luke took Suzanne’s hand. “Can you show me the pond, Miss Suzanne?”
She opened her mouth to reply, but Rick interrupted her.
“You can go with Mandy,” he said. “I have to talk to Miss Suzanne first.”
Luke began to scrunch up his face, ready to argue. “But I don’t want to see the pond without Miss Suzanne.”
Rick’s voice remained firm. “Luke.”
“We’ll be right there,” Suzanne quickly said, not wanting the boy to get into trouble, “and if you’re good I’ll show you the tadpoles.”
He looked doubtful, as though he was used to disappointments. “You promise?”
“I do.”
He folded his arms. “But I still—”
“One more word and I won’t come down at all.”
Luke sighed, acknowledging defeat. “All right,” he said, leaving the room.
“Good job, Suzanne,” Mandy said. “When he gets into his stubborn moods he’s a nightmare. I doubt he’ll sleep tonight after he sees this pond of yours.” She followed him.
Suzanne smiled. “He may not want to leave.”
“That’s what I hope,” Rick said.
Her smile dimmed. “Well, congratulations. He’s wonderful.”
“He’s shy,” Rick said, as though embarrassed to admit it.
“But he warms up quickly.”
“Only to some.” Rick shoved his hands in his pockets. “He’s not usually this way. He likes you.”
Suzanne dismissed his words with a wave of her hand. “He likes the fact that I have a pond.”
“No, he likes you. I can tell the difference.” He glanced out the window. “With most strangers he’s mute and won’t look up.”
“Poor thing. He stood in the foyer as though he expected to get into trouble.”
Rick sent her a sharp look. “I don’t hit him.”
Suzanne stared at Rick, surprised by his vehemence. “I didn’t think you did.”
He folded his arms and Suzanne could see where Luke had learned his defiant stance. “Why not? You know my past.”
“Yes.”
He studied her for a moment then let his arms fall to his sides. “And you never once thought—”
“That you’d hit a child or a woman? Never.”
He looked at her unsure. “Even though I’m a Gordon?”
It was a loaded question that Suzanne refused to answer. She stood and gazed out the window, expertly changing the subject. “No one would think Luke was a Gordon with that shy personality. But I’m sure he’ll grow out of it. He’s smart and funny and definitely has your charm.”
A proud grin touched Rick’s mouth. “You liked him?”
She turned to him suddenly aware of how close he was to her, but she didn’t move away. “Who wouldn’t? If I had a son…” She bit her lip. “You and Mandy must be proud.”
Rick looked out the window at Luke running to the pond. “I certainly am, but I don’t know how Mandy feels. She’s not his mother.”
Suzanne didn’t look at him. “She’s not?”
“No.”
“Where is his mother?”
He toyed with the cord for the blinds. “Don’t know. Don’t care.”
“Doesn’t he?”
“He doesn’t remember her. She left when he was a year old. Look. The truth is I got careless and things happened. It was supposed to be a brief fling, but then she told me she was pregnant and I wasn’t going to have my kid grow up without a father so I decided to marry her. After Luke was born I knew our marriage was a mistake so I paid her to disappear from our lives and she did.”
Suzanne finally looked at him, shocked. “You paid her to disappear?”
“She would have eventually, it just would have taken longer.”
“I can’t believe she’d abandon her child.”
Rick stared down at her with amusement. “If you knew her you’d believe it. I met her at a high society gathering. She pressed a pair of black lace panties into my hand and I took her up on her offer. I was flattered that a woman like her would take interest in me. I was reckless back then.” He rested his shoulder against the wall. “But that’s no surprise to you. You never expected much of men. Especially me. No one did.”
“I never said that.”
“Some things don’t need to be said.”
“Well you’re wrong, but I’m not going to try to convince you.”
He shrugged. “I can’t say I’m proud of what happened. I was stupid.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning, what was supposed to be a one-night stand dragged on for nearly two years because I wasn’t paying attention. But I don’t regret getting Luke out of it.”
“Good.”
He searched her gaze and soon the very air around them seemed electrified. She lowered her eyes. “So now you have Mandy who is more of the motherly type.”
He nodded. “Yes, I pay her to be.”
She looked up at him again and frowned. “Pay her? What is it with you and money?”
“She’s Luke’s nanny.” He smiled at her expression. “Who did you think she was?”
“You know who I thought she was.” Suzanne paused. “But she’s not very good.”
“What do you mean?”
“If she’s his nanny, she shouldn’t have forgotten him in the foyer.”
“She didn’t forget him. She just doesn’t want to hover over him. He tends to freeze in new situations, but eventually recovers.”
Suzanne didn’t agree, but shrugged. “Doesn’t matter anyway. I’m sure you’ll be happy here.”
Rick’s gaze grew serious. “Actually it does matter. I brought Luke here for a reason. I wanted you to meet him.”
“Why? You needed something else to brag about?”
“I think we can help each other.”
Suzanne shook her head. “The answer is no.”
“You don’t even know what I’m going to say.”
“No, but I already think it’s a bad idea. It has to be. It’s yours, after all.”
“At least let me finish.”
She shrugged and folded her arms. “Fine. Go ahead.”
“I’ve got money and I can clear all your debts and you’ll be free to write. In exchange I ask for only one favor.”
She looked at him, wary. “Can I say no now?”
“Suzanne,” he said with warning.
“What’s the favor?”
“Marry me.”
Her arms fell to her side. She’d imagined him saying many things, but not that. “What?”
“I’m asking you to marry me.”
“Are you crazy?”
He held up his hand. “Hear me out. I don’t care how people treat me in this town, but I do care how they treat Luke. With you as his stepmother he’ll meet the right people and grow up the way he should. I want to give Luke all the benefits I didn’t have.”
“But there are plenty of other women—”
“They are not who I want. I want someone who knows the ins and outs of this town, how this house should be run. I want someone who has your reputation and history.”
“Della would marry you in a second.” She snapped her fingers.
“I want someone with half a brain.” He shook his head. “You’re perfect. You have the right name.”
She laughed. “That name may not mean as much anymore. Especially because of the book.”
“It’s still better than mine. You know this can work. You’ve got the style and class that I don’t have and in this town that matters more than money. People respect you.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “And I’d take care of you.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“I need your help.”
She headed for the door. “No, you don’t.”
“Don’t think of me, think of Luke. Help me take care of him.”
She halted in the doorway. He was offering her a chance she’d stopped allowing herself to dream about. To be a mother. But at what price? “I promised I’d never marry again.”