by Dara Girard
“You’re making an assumption that what Warren said isn’t true. Dr. Silver admitted to everything,” Lora said.
“Yes, and naturally you took the time to hear the full story before you jumped to your conclusion, correct?”
“Well, no, but—”
“That’s what I thought. You overestimate your ability to assess situations, Lora. You always have. You have a quick mind, but it’s both a strength and a weakness.” Carla sat back. “I can’t comment about what Warren’s told you about the school program, but I can clarify the other two. First, Dr. Silver didn’t cruelly remove Warren. He wasn’t performing well and would have been fired if Silver hadn’t stepped in. Dr. Yung had given him several warnings that his performance needed to improve or he would be out of a job. Silver actually created a new assignment with Dr. Yung so that wouldn’t happen. Second, he cut funding for my current project because he wants me to head a major pain management research project working with Johns Hopkins University and George Washington University. This is a dream come true for me. Silver’s sharp when it comes to seizing opportunities—that’s how he’s gotten this far.”
“But he made you cry! I saw you standing outside of your office with him. He’s known for making people cry.”
“I was crying because I was happy. I know Silver can be tactless and distant, but did you even wonder why Rappaport has been so quick to confide all his troubles to you? He’s hardly been here six months, yet he’s made you his confidant. If you wanted to know what had happened, all you had to do was come and ask me.”
“He confided in me because we both don’t like Silver.”
“And he used that knowledge to his advantage. Even if what Rappaport said was true, you still could have behaved with dignity. What references do you expect Silver to give you? If for no other reason than to keep your career on track you should apologize, even if it’s halfhearted.”
“I just thought—”
“Stop thinking and just listen. Right now you’re blind, so I’ll open your eyes. Silver likes you. That means new opportunities and contacts. But Rappaport just closed that door for you. You look bad to both Silver and Rollins because you’re a wild card. And guess who’s waiting to step up into your space?”
Lora felt her heart fall.
Carla continued. “Dr. Rollins heard your outburst. You keep wanting to blame Silver for halting your career, but now you can only blame yourself.”
“What can I do?”
“I honestly don’t know. I can try to talk to Silver for you, but Dr. Rollins did not look pleased. I think it’s out of our hands.”
“But I thought he was doing to you what he’d done to Suzette.”
“What did he do?”
“He let her die.”
“Stop being dramatic. That’s not what happened. I was there, remember? I’d been working with Silver at the time. I was there when you shouted at him and when he came after you.”
“I don’t remember...”
“Exactly. You’ve made yourself forget what you need to remember if you really want to heal. You want to be angry at him. You want to blame him, but you need to stop. Close your eyes and remember that day. He came after you...”
Memories she’d buried came flooding back. Lora remembered pacing the waiting room floor, knowing she had to compose herself before seeing Suzette and Mrs. Gannotti again. She hated the feeling of helplessness that gripped her. She remembered seeing Carla standing by the vending machine—she’d been one of the white coats in Suzette’s room. She’d barely noticed. Carla had given Lora a brief, compassionate smile that Lora ignored. All she saw was another white coat who was part of an institution that didn’t care or understand how awful it felt to lose her friend. What would her life be like without Suzette?
“Stop being so selfish.”
Lora had spun around, startled by the harsh, deep command. She’d glared up at Justin.
“What did you just say?”
“You’re not helping your friend by making her feel that she’s failing you. You’re not doing her any favors by thinking of yourself instead of her.”
“I’m not.”
“Aren’t you wondering about what you’ll do without her? How you’ll manage? Did you once think about how it must feel for her to be in that hospital bed, receiving few visitors? Not seeing people who you care about but who don’t want to see you? You may not realize, but you see her as a disease. You see her as something broken that needs to be fixed. And you’re scared by how she is now. If you truly love her, give her the gift of letting her go.”
His words had pierced her heart. “You have no right to tell me how to feel.”
“No, I don’t. But I can say this. You want me to regret the decisions I’ve made, but I won’t. You will. If she passes on with things left unsaid between the two of you or without you by her side, it will haunt you for the rest of your life. I know you don’t like me, but that doesn’t matter. Suzette is all that matters. Think about it. Arguing with me and hating the doctors or the nurses won’t change anything. Be a friend,” he’d said. Then he had turned and walked away.
That night Lora had gone back into Suzette’s hospital room and knew she didn’t want her friend to feel anything but love. “Thank you for being the best friend in the world. You’ve made my life so much brighter.”
Suzette didn’t speak then, but Lora had seen her eyes light up for a moment. A few minutes later, she was gone.
As Lora opened her eyes in Carla’s office she was forced to admit that Justin had given her that moment. She’d been so focused on fighting the disease that she’d forgotten what her friend needed—her presence. If she’d spent more time arguing with the doctors, she would not have been at Suzette’s side when she died. Yes, he’d given her that, but she’d made herself forget because she wanted to be angry—at him. His presence was always forcing her to face a truth she didn’t want to see. She had lost her dearest friend and needed someone, anyone to blame.
Lora realized, for the first time, that he was the one man who could make her stop feeling numb. He had reawakened emotion in her: rage, despair, even attraction. She had to admit that he’d been right. There was nothing they could have done. That was what angered her—the truth he forced her to see. He’d taken away her hope, but hope had already gone.
Carla sighed. “You know, one day you’re going to have to shout at your father instead of at every man who reminds you of him.”
Lora jumped to her feet. She didn’t want to talk about her father or her misjudgment. “Thank you,” she said, then rushed out of Carla’s office.
Yes, she had been blind, rash and foolish. She needed to think. There had to be something she could do to fix things.
Chapter 6
“She must be suspended immediately,” Oliver said to Justin. “I’ll have Carla go with you to Minnesota.”
Justin sat behind his desk, straightening his pens. “It’s okay.”
“Stop saying that. It’s not okay. Is this how she behaves? This is the woman you said was discreet?”
“You caught her at a bad time. She’s—”
“Are you thinking with the right organ? I can’t have someone like that represent us.”
Justin took a long drink from his thermos, wishing he had something stronger to drink than just water. Lora’s words were more painful than any attack he’d ever experienced, but he couldn’t let his friend know that. Lora’s career was on the line, and he didn’t want Rappaport to get away with ruining it.
“Oliver, I want you to trust me. I haven’t steered you wrong before. I will not let you and Dr. Ruthers down. In two days, Rice and I will leave for Minnesota and get the job done.” He grabbed an aspirin, popped it in his mouth, then drank more water.
“Are you all right?”
“It’s ju
st a headache.”
“I want to stop you from doing this, but...fine. I’ll let you have your way. Another outburst like that, though, and she’s gone.”
“Agreed.”
Oliver nodded, then left. Justin resisted resting his head on the desk. He’d have plenty of time to rest when he got home that evening, but for now, he had an entire day to get through. He inwardly groaned when someone knocked on his door.
“Come in,” he said, feeling as if saying those two words had taken what remaining energy he had left.
Warren strolled in and took a seat. “Dr. Rice didn’t sound very happy. What was that all about?”
“I’m sure you know.”
“Thanks for putting in a good word for me with Dr. Yung.”
“As if I had a choice. You’re still spreading your lies like fertilizer.”
Warren shrugged. “And watching things grow.”
“Stay away from Lora.”
“I don’t need her anymore. And if I do, there’s nothing you can do about it. The ladies have always liked me more than they like you.”
“I’m not going to cover for you again.”
“Does she know about you? Or is that still your big secret?”
Justin lowered his voice. “Don’t threaten me.”
Warren leaned against the desk, unfazed. “I saw one of your crises, remember? I could describe it to her in great detail. Would you like that?” He came around the desk. “You’ll be lucky if you make it to your next birthday. And I need this job. You got in my way once before, but I’ve learned from my mistakes. This is just a taste of what I can do. So stay out of my way.” He walked to the door, then looked over his shoulder. “Just a little friendly advice,” he said as he left.
Justin turned to the window. Maybe he’d lost his touch. He used to have his life in order, but now the woman he liked truly despised him and he had to cover for a man he hated. He stared at the holiday decorations on the buildings outside, and for the first time in his life he felt empty.
* * *
This was war. Lora approached Warren just as he was getting into his car. She grabbed his car door before he could close it.
“You set me up,” she said.
“Why would I do that?”
“You didn’t make a mistake. You didn’t switch phone numbers around. I checked. You gave me the wrong number on purpose. When you texted me it was from a blocked number. That should have been my first warning.”
“It was supposed to be a joke. A harmless prank. I thought it would be a great kick to Silver’s ego to find out that you were calling me instead of him. I thought you’d say something like ‘Hello, Warren’ and then he’d hang up.”
“That didn’t happen.”
He stepped out of his car and rested against it. “What did?”
She folded her arms; she’d never tell him. “And you lied.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“You said he refused Carla’s funding and removed you from a project.”
“And he did.”
“But that’s not the whole story.”
“So?” He flashed a charming grin. “I don’t want you to be angry with me. Let me make it up to you. Are we still on for our date Saturday?”
“Absolutely not.”
He moved in close and brushed the back of his hand against her cheek.
Lora pushed his hand away and stepped back. “Don’t you ever touch me again.”
“I thought you liked me.”
“I did.”
He shook his head. “Women can be so fickle. Don’t tell me you’re getting it on with Silver.”
“I’m not getting it on with anyone,” she said.
“That’s not a surprise, but I can change that. I know you want me. I can tell. I noticed the first moment we met.”
“Well, let’s just say, I can see more clearly now. And do you want to know what I see?”
“What?” he asked, clearly uninterested.
“You’re jealous of Silver. You resent everything that he has because you want it for yourself. I didn’t see that before.”
Warren’s eyes grew hard. “I’m not jealous.”
“You’re so far beneath him you can hardly see the daylight.”
He shrugged and got back into his car. “You can’t prove anything, and Silver can’t touch me. So why don’t you go home and cool off so that you can pray?”
“Pray?”
“Yes, pray that you’ll still have a job to come back to.” He slammed the car door shut, then drove away.
* * *
That night Lora sat in her apartment feeling like the loneliest woman in the world. How could she have been so wrong about Warren? He’d seemed so sincere. But Carla was right—he’d been too eager to share all his grievances about Justin with her and she’d eaten it up. She’d been unprofessional, and even worse, she’d been as unfair and callous as she’d once accused Justin of being. She’d given one man too much credit and the other too little. She was undisciplined and did jump to conclusions. How could Justin have ever liked her? What had he seen, and why hadn’t she noticed? It didn’t matter now. He probably didn’t want anything to do with her anymore and she didn’t blame him. She didn’t like herself today, either.
Lora turned on the radio and a holiday song came through the speakers. She immediately switched it off. She’d donate the book that had caused all this. No, she’d burn it. Carla was right—she hadn’t been herself, and she didn’t like who she’d become after Suzette’s death. It would be another lonely holiday, except this time she’d be without a job. She wouldn’t wait to be suspended; she’d leave gracefully. She sat down at her kitchen table, powered up her laptop and typed a letter of resignation. After she’d hit the Send button she called her sister.
“I really messed up,” she said.
“What happened?”
She told her about Warren, Justin and Dr. Rollins.
“Warren? Why does that name sound familiar?”
“Because he’s the guy you met at the mall.”
Belinda swore. “I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone with him.”
“It’s more my fault than his. I just resigned. I know Dad’s going to enjoy this. He’s always thought I was a loser.”
“He doesn’t have to know. And you’ll get a new job. Don’t worry—everything will work out.”
They talked for a few more minutes, and Lora hung up, wishing she could believe her sister.
* * *
Belinda fumed. She’d never heard her sister sound so defeated. She remembered Lora recovering from the death of Suzette, and now her voice was eerily close to her helplessness then. That Warren guy had really hurt her. Belinda wrung her hands, her mind racing. What could she do? Nobody messed with her little sister. She would make sure that Warren Rappaport paid.
* * *
You’re accomplished as a scientist, but you’ve failed as a man. Justin pushed his dinner around on his plate as Lora’s words echoed in his mind. She’d looked at him as if he was some awful bacteria she’d found growing in a petri dish. And the phone call had been a mistake—she didn’t want him, she’d wanted Rappaport. Justin gripped his fork, remembering Rappaport’s visit to his office and his smug grin. The slimy eel had won again. If only he didn’t know about Justin’s secret, then he could fight him. But Rappaport never fought fair. Now the bastard had Lora believing every word he said.
“Justin?”
He glanced up at his youngest sister, Ann. She’d invited him for dinner, just as she did once a month. He looked at her worried face and then noticed that no one else was around the table. The dishes had been cleared.
He forced a smile. “Sorry. I got lost in thought. Let me help you in the kitchen.”
&n
bsp; “You’ve hardly eaten anything.”
“What I ate was delicious, as always.”
“You can’t afford to skip meals.”
“I’m not.” He carried the dishes to the sink.
Ann followed him. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Something’s bothering you. I can tell.”
“Well, for work I have to travel soon, but I’ll be back in time for Christmas.”
“Good. It wouldn’t be the same without you. You know Monique and Jayla love seeing you.”
“Yes.”
“They keep asking when they’ll get a new aunty.”
“No, they don’t.”
“You’re right. I’m the one who wants to know.”
Justin helped load the dishwasher. “You know how I feel.”
“You can’t let it stop you from having a full life. Maureen and Sarah told me you were meeting a woman at a party. How did it go?”
“Great,” he lied.
She pounced. “Really? What is she like? When can I meet her?”
“But it didn’t work out. She’s interested in someone else.”
“Let me meet her.”
“Forget it. It wasn’t meant to be.”
“You know that day you came home from school sad because none of the kids would play with you after you’d been released from the hospital?”
“Yes.”
“Well, you have that exact expression now. You look like that lonely little boy on the playground, and it breaks my heart. Tell me what’s going on.”
He turned on the dishwasher, then kissed her cheek. “I’m fine. I’m a man now—not a little boy you have to worry about.”
Later that night, as Justin drove home from his sister’s place, he thought of her words. He didn’t want to be lonely anymore. He wouldn’t surrender and let Warren win. He didn’t usually explain himself, but he’d tell Lora the truth. He’d make her listen. He’d make her learn to trust him, eventually. They were a good team, even if she didn’t see it yet. He’d get Lora to see the real him. He’d make her see him as a man. The perfect man for her.