by Sarah Gai
"Nah, I think it's gonna be a boy," Charlie hollered.
"It's going to be a girl!" they heard Nic and Rosie shout simultaneously.
Charlie smirked, "Let's place a bet, shall we boys?”
Winter
She watched as Charlie returned to the dining room, placing his phone back into his front pocket and taking a seat. "Just five more minutes and then we can eat," he let them all know.
Winter scanned the room and looked at the faces of her friends and family. Nicole looked furious, as she threw imaginary daggers her fiancé’s way; Kim fidgeted with her fingernails and if she didn't stop soon she would have none left. Rosie and Carl looked about as unsure as Winter of what or whom they were waiting on. Nolan sat next to Winter avoiding eye contact, his only comforting gesture a steady hand on her knee. Her gaze travelled back to her brother, his face full of concern and worry. Winter clapped her hands together to get his attention.
"What is going on?"
She watched as her brother contemplated whether he was going to let her in on whatever was causing him such concern. He raised his hands and paused, turning his face towards the hallway entrance; Winter followed his line of sight and gulped.
Standing there was the woman she had been avoiding for the past five years, more like the past thirteen years to be precise. But who was standing next to her was no surprise—Aunt Peggy, in all her colorful glory.
For a moment, no one moved. Her mother stood in the doorway, her posture stooped as if she was unable to look up or didn't want to. Either way, Winter felt her anger rising as she looked away and stared at Charlie. He stood from his chair and glanced her way.
"How could you?" she spun furiously, her body ready to run. Her brother’s face showed agony as his eyes pleaded for her to understand. Winter had tried to talk herself into going to see her mother, but every time she went to call Charlie and agree to go to the rehab clinic, she wanted to throw up. Some things she just wasn’t ready to face—her mama was one of them.
Aunt Peggy came into her line of sight and stood next to Charlie, "Don't you get all mad at him. It was my idea," she relayed to Winter.
"Well, you are on my crap list and don't you dare sign to me with attitude, Aunty," Winter added. She was about two seconds from getting up and leaving.
She watched as her aunt's features softened, "I must say I haven't seen that fight in you since you were a child," she grinned. "I like it."
Winter almost choked on the air. She's seriously going to change the topic now? Talk about her fight now? Nobody at the table moved; it was as if they were waiting with bated breath to see what would happen next. Winter sat back in her seat and crossed her arms. There was nothing more to say. This Christmas, the one she had been looking forward to, was now in the toilet.
Aunt Peggy turned and walked back over to Abigail and ushered her into the dining room, seating Winter’s mother right across the table from Winter. As Charlie helped the two latest guests sit and pushed in their chairs, Winter watched as everyone else sat, wondering whether they should say something or remain quiet.
Once Charlie took his seat, it was Rosie who broke the ice. "So, shall we all say grace?"
Winter felt Nolan squeeze her knee in support as everyone bowed their heads. When the prayer was finished they all dove for the dishes and began serving up their food. Winter still refused to move; she just sat looking at her mother whose head was still low, not acknowledging anyone.
Not once in the past five years had Winter received a single thing from her mother—not a message, an email, or a damn letter. Not once had her mother been there for her. As a little girl, all she wanted was her mama to wrap her in her arms and soothe her. The pain of losing the only parent that showed how much he loved you every day was something difficult to move on from. But it was Connor and Charlie who held her when she sobbed.
Winter's chest tightened. Oh Lord, Charlie, she thought. She wasn't the only one who lost a parent or a friend. He had lost as much as she. Shame consumed her once again. It seemed to be a reoccurring feeling these last few weeks. Winter uncrossed her arms and leaned forward to look at her brother. His face was sad, though he tried to mask his loneliness.
Winter tilted her head and Charlie looked up at her, "I'm sorry, Charlie. I know everything you do is with good intentions."
His eyes widened in shock and questioning, as if he really just saw Winter sign that. The smallest of smiles broke onto his lips as he mouthed, “Thank you."
She knew Nolan had watched the whole exchange, as her peripheral view caught him smiling, all the while taking it upon himself to prepare a plate of food for her.
Lunch went without a hitch. Aside from Winter, everyone tried his or her best to make an effort to talk to Abigail. As much as she tried not to peer at her mother, Winter found herself repeatedly taking glances. She definitely looked different, a big improvement from when she last saw her. For one, her hair was tied up neatly in a bun, though silver streaks appeared at her temples. Abigail had aged a lot over the years; new wrinkles marred her forehead and looked prominent around her eyes, but she had some color to her skin at least. She still wasn't the mother from Winter's childhood memories, but she wasn't expecting to ever see her again. She supposed grief, anger, bitterness, and substance abuse would irreparably change a person. What did piss her off was how Abigail did not once dare to look at her only daughter. It was crushing to know that, even sober, her mother still chose to ignore her. What was strange was that her aunt always had something to say, whether it be a disagreeing comment or an argument, yet she sat helping Abigail with a gentleness in her eyes as she dished up her sister-in-law’s dinner.
The night couldn't wind down quick enough. Everyone had congregated in the living room, unwrapping presents, listening to Christmas songs, and trying their hardest not to acknowledge the elephant in the room.
Winter made a quick dash to the kitchen, her excuse being she was grabbing crackers for the cheese platter. She knew Nolan could tell she was lying. Who wanted to nibble on crackers after they had just stuffed their face full of food? As she leaned against the counter and prayed the night would soon end, her aunt walked in.
Winter didn’t wait for her to initiate a conversation. “So, are you going to say anything to me tonight?" Winter signed trying to be angry, but her heart actually ached from Peggy’s dismissal of her all night.
She walked toward her niece and stood in front of her. "You're right. It was rude of me, sweetheart. I...I’m honestly lost for words and that's not like me," she signed back.
Well, she wasn't lying, Winter thought. Aunt Peggy always had something to say even when there was nothing worth talking about.
"I didn't want to just act as if everything was okay about your mama being here. I wanted to talk to you—alone," she admitted.
"How could you not tell me she was coming? A text, anything? I felt railroaded into having a family meal with the one person who has never acknowledged me. Even tonight, she still can't look at me."
"No, you're right we should have. Charlie and I found out last night they were releasing your mother this afternoon. We knew if we told you, you probably weren't going to show, but Charlie really wanted this. He wanted his entire family together. You can be mad at me all you want, but please just give him this one day," Aunt Peggy pleaded.
She was right, like always. Charlie always saw the best in people, which was what set him apart from so many others. She could see his longing for the day to go perfect. She wasn't about to ruin that for him.
"Of course, I won't ruin this for Charlie," Winter promised. "How is this going to work? With mama being home?" she asked her aunt.
"Well, that's why I'm here," she grinned wide. "With Rosie about to have a baby and Charlie getting married, I decided to come stay and watch over Abigail for a while. Being in rehab is one thing, returning home is going to be hard for her."
Winter gave her aunt a look and said, “Really? And Abigail agreed to that? You two haven't gotten along or s
een eye-to-eye since I was a child."
"She doesn't have much of a choice, now does she?" Peggy grinned. "You think she hates me now? Just wait until we have shared a house for three months," she laughed. "Now, come on back into the living room and smile. It's just for a few more hours," Peggy promised.
Winter braced herself and put on a brave face. Aunt Peggy was right—it was just for a few hours. As she made her way back to where everyone was sitting, their unwrapped presents piled up around them, wrapping paper littering the floor, Winter realized that even though these weren't the best of circumstances, it was also nice to see everyone she loved together. Nolan spotted her and patted the spot next to him. Once their eyes met, it was very hard to pull away and Winter's body naturally obeyed as she walked over to join him again. He pulled her down, tucking her into his side. She breathed him in; the sweet scent of deodorant he always wore was distinct and beautiful to him.
They weren't officially dating; Winter didn't even know if she was ready for that title. It had only been a short time, maybe too short. She tried to convince herself to slow down, to put a separation between them on a daily basis, but Nolan wasn't having a bar of that. He pushed her beyond her comfort zone and let her know if she ran, he was chasing. Some mornings she scared herself as she woke up giddy, wondering how long it would be until she saw him that day.
Nolan untucked her from under his arm. "You okay?" he signed.
Winter nodded, placing a reassuring smile on her face. "I'm fine, really. Promise." She watched as he deliberated over something, lightly biting his lower lip. “What is it?" she asked.
"Well, now that your mom is home, are you going to be staying at the house?"
Winter hadn't even thought about it up to that point. Where was she going to stay? Of course she had to look for a place to live since she gave everything up in Seattle, but home hunting would have to wait until the New Year.
"I guess I'll have to impose on Charlie and Nicole until the New Year," she shrugged, seeing no other option.
"Stay with me," he offered.
Winter’s eyes bugged out like saucers. It was one thing to get close to Nolan, to see where this thing between them would go, but live together? Heck no! She was not ready for that step.
"Look, I'm not saying you have to move in. I have a spare room and you can stay for as long or as short as you would like. Come home with me tonight and you can decide tomorrow."
Did she want to go home with Nolan? Maybe she could stay at Rosie’s. No, it was one thing helping with the baby’s room, but there were too many memories in that house.
"You really don't mind?"
"I cannot believe you just asked that," Nolan shook his head, giving her a smoldering look.
Nolan
He wasn't sure whether he did the right thing or not. An opportunity presented itself and he wasn't about to turn it down. To say the day had been uncomfortable would have been an understatement. Nolan felt caught between a rock and a hard place; the moment Winter's mother stepped into the dining room everything shifted. A part of him wanted to protect Winter, tell her they could leave, but then there was the other side of his brain convinced it was what the siblings needed—what Winter needed. So he bit his tongue and pulled his overprotective nature back.
Before he could take the words back wondering if he had crossed the line and pushed her too fast, Nolan suggested she stay with him. He watched as her eyes panicked, her mind running through the pros and cons of his offer. He held his breath as she pondered the idea.
"Okay, but just for the night," she signed and Nolan let his lungs deflate. She may have thought it was just for the night, but if Nolan had his way, it would be forever. For her, things were moving fast, but he had waited years for them to be at this point.
Night had finally descended and as they said their polite goodbyes and jumped in his truck, he watched as Winter physically relaxed. He knew how hard it had been for her. He watched her closely the whole night. One freak out and he was ready to sweep her away. She surprised him though; with her head held high, she got through the uncomfortable family reunion. He knew she did it for Charlie.
What pissed him off was that not once did Abigail try to talk to or acknowledge her own daughter. He didn't even see her try to look Winter's way. He struggled to understand; Winter was perfect, sweet, and kind. Abigail had no right to treat her the way she did.
They stopped by her mother’s house and Nolan waited in the truck as Winter ran up the front porch steps, letting herself in. Tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, he glanced at the side of the house and saw her bedroom light go on. He couldn't believe it—the girl of his dreams was actually staying at his place tonight. There had to be a God. Nolan thought about joining Rosie one Sunday to find out more about this higher being. He had to exist because right then his prayers had been answered. The light went off again through her window and Nolan shifted in his seat waiting for his raven-haired beauty to exit the house.
The moment he spotted her in the dark night running back towards the truck his heart skipped a beat. He could get used to this, he thought. No longer was she an image in his mind, a dream he thought would never be; she was there climbing in to sit next to him.
"Ready?" he asked. She gave a nervous smile as she nodded her head. Nolan reversed the car out of the driveway and headed for his new home on the outskirts of town, surrounded by five acres of bushland, close enough to the center of town in case of an emergency, but far enough away for privacy.
The silent drives had become the norm between them. Nolan tried to communicate only to be chastised. “Safety first, talking later," Winter had scolded him. It didn't stop him from taking a hand off the wheel, reaching over, and entwining their fingers together before pulling their joined hands up to his lips and kissing the back of her hand. He even thought about the possibility of trading his truck in for an automatic so he didn't have to keep letting go to change gears.
He turned into his gravel driveway and headed towards the house. She wouldn't be able to see how beautiful his place could be until the spring, when all the low-lying plants and flowers lining the driveway and property were in bloom, but she would, he was certain of it. He parked his truck right outside the front porch, clearing the snow that morning. Running around to the passenger door to open it for her, he grabbed the bag from her lap. The sensor light flashed so they could see where they were going.
Winter gasped as she looked at what she could see in the dark—a two-story wood cabin made from large logs.
Taking her hand, he lead her up the front porch steps and unlocked the front door. They entered the reasonably-sized home with an open living plan. He dropped her bag on the ground and signed, "Welcome to my home." He grinned nervously, hoping she would love it as much as he did.
"It's beautiful!" she replied.
"Well, feel free to look around and make yourself comfortable."
Winter nodded and set off in the direction of the living room. Nolan didn't want to crowd her so he turned and made his way towards the open kitchen. He pulled out two mugs and began to make coffee. There were some things he just hadn't prepared for, one being the shitty instant coffee he had since he did not drink it all too often. He would have to remedy that knowing Winter drank it like air.
He hadn't even finished stirring the cream in when Winter came bustling in excited, "Well, I'm officially in love with this place!" she exclaimed.
"Just the house?" he dared. She blushed and looked away. He really needed to learn to shut his mouth.
Handing her a cup, he beckoned for her to follow. He walked towards the stairs and turned to make sure she was following before he continued to ascend them. As they hit the second level, he opened each door; he showed her the guest room, the second bathroom, the study, and then he made his way towards the last door. Opening it, he ushered her into his room. It was enormous with a high, arched ceiling, log beams running across it, a river rock fireplace positioned across from a king-sized sleigh
bed, and a line of windows allowing for the beauty of nature to filter in, but the best bit was about to come. Walking towards the floor to ceiling glass doors, he slid them open, the cold air gushing in as he walked out onto the large balcony.
Winter followed him out and smiled. She placed her cup onto the railing and signed, "This is heaven."
Watching her take it all in he thought, No, you are heaven.
"How long have you owned this place?" she signed.
He placed his cup next to hers, "About two years now. Charlie and I built this right before starting his."
"Well, it was a bad idea bringing me here. I think I may have to take this place over. I'm sure it was made for me," she grinned.
Oh, she had no idea how close to truth that was, he mused. "What's mine is yours," he replied.
Her smile dropped and she looked away. Not again, Nolan thought. Not tonight. Before her mind drifted towards Connor, the guilt she didn't need to keep carrying, Nolan left their cups and grabbed her hand, leading her back inside. He pulled her towards his bedroom door, out into the hallway, and continued towards the guest suite.
Once they entered, he dropped her hand, "How about I run downstairs and grab your bag. You can settle in here, have a bath, whatever, and I'll wrestle up a pretty simple dinner. Lunch was filling, but I can always go for more," he stated, rubbing his stomach.
He watched her smile creep back onto her beautiful face. With a small nod she signed, "Sounds like a plan."
Nolan let her relax and become comfortable in her surroundings. He heard the bath turn on and made his way down to prepare some simple chicken sandwiches. He was trying to take it slow, play it cool, as not to scare her away. It was downright hard to do when he knew with every fiber of his being she was the one for him, a fact he knew since the day he met her. Call him pathetic, but when the heart knows, it just knows.
He wanted her more than he could say; he wanted to take her to bed with him, wrap himself around her, feel her, hold her. He drew on his patience, biting the inside of his cheek knowing that wasn't going to happen—not tonight at least. Yet, with a spark of hope at the way things were progressing, he wasn't ruling the idea out so much anymore.