by C. T. Hsia
KUAI TONG (laughs:) Marshal, why do you think Fan Li and Zhang Liang hid their traces and let their names be forgotten? (Sings:)
[Same tune as above]
The one who made the Yue king overlord had his grand plan,
The one who built Han rule, far and wide his achievements did span.
Why did they escape the World of Red Dust,
Why did they their fates to the green mountains entrust,
Why did they to the meager fare of yellow leeks adjust?67
Their one and only goal was to nourish their virtue
And to escape from judgment’s purview:
There was no other. (Speaks:)
I am remonstrating with you now for one reason alone. (Sings:)
I just fear that, overtaken with disaster, you will find swift, contrary currents hard to master.
HAN XIN: Kuai Tong, no harm will come to me with this trip. Please don’t worry.
KUAI TONG: Marshal, I am not trying to stand in your way, but you really must not go. I have an aged mother. If you do not heed me, I will right away take leave of Your Honor and return home to take care of my mother.
HAN XIN: Kuai Tong, just don’t worry. After my audience with His Majesty, it will not be long before I come back. Why would you take leave of me?
KUAI TONG: If this is how things stand, it means you have set your heart on going. Guard, bring the paper money and rice soup I have prepared.
SOLDIER: Yes sir. (The SOLDIER brings the paper money and rice offerings. KUAI TONG brings the paper money and rice soup to the front and offers sacrifices.) (Sings:)
[Happy Three]
Why am I pouring out this bowl of rice soup
And burning this batch of paper money into ashes?
It’s because for years now on the march we fought side by side,
And we did pledge friendship that for self-sacrifice vied.
HAN XIN: Kuai Tong, have you gone mad? Why are you burning paper money and pouring out rice soup in front of me? What is this for?
KUAI TONG (sings:)
Let me make my meanings plain:
Kuai Tong has no deep intention to sustain.
It is fitting to offer libation while you are still among us,
For after death sacrificial offerings will be superfluous. (Speaks:)
Marshal, how do you compare with those two?
HAN XIN: Which two?
KUAI TONG (sings:)
[Paying Respects to the Son of Heaven]
By my reckoning, Yong Chi deserved execution,
While Lord Ding was not guilty of any crime.
How could Xiao He be so perverse?
He who saved the lord from the bottom of the well was beheaded.
Isn’t there a moral in this tale embedded?68
HAN XIN: Kuai Tong, just go back for now. Tomorrow I will take several hundred soldiers and head for the court and have an audience with His Majesty.
KUAI TONG: Marshal, when you get there, don’t say that I did not try to dissuade you. (Sings:)
[Teasing Children]
Today Xiao He sows discord with his devious plot,
Making a pitch-black hole where you will see not.
When you, General, set foot in the capital,
You will step in the trap
That you of life will sap.
He has concocted the tasty bait to catch the grand turtle,
Prepared the bow in ambush to shoot the tiger.
We are coming to grief, having enjoyed bliss all too brief.69
HAN XIN: The emperor will go on an excursion to the Dreamy Clouds Mountains and has summoned me to serve as regent.
KUAI TONG (sings:)
Don’t ever dream of good fortune coming your way,
More pressing is the disaster you cannot keep at bay.
HAN XIN: Kuai Tong, set your mind at ease. When I have an audience with His Majesty, I will know what to do.
KUAI TONG (sings:)
[Coda]
Now I have come,
I have come to the point70
When counsel is of no avail,
Counsel is of no avail.
Don’t ever dream of leading troops as marshal prime,
Unnatural death will be your lot: a displaced ghost for all time. (Exits.)
HAN XIN: Kuai Tong has left. Having led generals and commanded troops in battles after nights of sleeping on ice and snow, I built the foundations of the Han dynasty. I don’t believe I will come to harm. All you followers: come with me as we hasten through the night to reach the court and seek an audience with His Majesty.
ACT 3
(XIAO HE enters leading some GUARDS.)
XIAO HE: Since our last discussion with Fan Kuai about the issue with Han Xin, we actually managed, by sending a messenger, to lure Han Xin into returning to court, and he was executed. But there is this Kuai Tong in his camp: we have heard that he had repeatedly urged Han Xin not to destroy Chu and instead divide the realm into three. More recently, he had tried to convince Han Xin not to come to court. What impudence! We were about to arrest him and put him to death also, but he has gone stark raving mad. I wonder whether the report about that is true. Earlier I submitted a memorial to the throne, suggesting that an envoy be sent to trip him up. Since Kuai Tong is so clever with words, no one beside Sui He would be up to the task of tricking him, for Sui He has no match in court when it comes to wit and cunning.71 He should get there and if it turns out that Kuai Tong has truly gone mad, then that’s that, but if not, Sui He is to trick him and bring him back. I will know what to do with him. Guard, send for Sui He.
GUARD: Yes sir. Where is Master Sui He? The prime minister requests your presence.
(EXTRA MALE dressed as SUI HE enters.)
SUI HE (recites:)
I served as envoy in Jiujiang at the behest of our ruler,
And in no time I made Ying Bu surrender.
If you survey the Han court to seek a man of powerful words,
There is only Sui He, the unmatched contender.
This humble official is Sui He. Prime Minister Xiao came to request my presence—I wonder what it’s all about. I must make this trip. Here I am already. Guard, report that Sui He is at the gate.
GUARD: Reporting to the Prime Minister: Sui He has arrived.
XIAO HE: Please invite him in.
GUARD: Please enter. (SUI HE and XIAO HE greet each other.)
SUI HE: Why did you, Prime Minister, summon me today?
XIAO HE: Master Sui, I requested your presence for a particular reason. Now I sent someone to lure Han Xin here and he has already been executed. He had an adviser working with him, Kuai Tong. Han and Kuai had the deepest bond, so I must eradicate him also to have the job thoroughly done. Rumor has it that this person has gone mad. Not having got to the bottom of the matter, I must trouble you to go there and find out. If you manage to trick him into coming here, His Majesty would no doubt confer titles and rewards on you.
SUI HE: Prime Minister, you have given the command: I would not dare to shirk my duty. I will set out for Qi today. (Recites:)
Divinely clever was the prime minister’s plot,
Betrayal and execution became Han Xin’s lot.
XIAO HE (recites:)
Kuai Tong may be full of wily schemes,
But it’s time to see Sui He on stage with his themes. (Exit together.)
CHILDREN (come on stage:) Let’s go and watch the antics of the madman.
KUAI TONG (enters, dressed up as a madman:) Let me go and be the son-in-law: our family is waiting to get the feast ready. (Sings:)
[Yue Tunes mode: Fighting Partridges]
Every day I harmonize the elements, as if I were lighting a fire:
Old Woman Meng is the matchmaker for hire,
And Silkworm Goddess as go-between I will acquire.
I must get that relentless mama to marry me.
Don’t laugh at my grimy, blotchy face,
Or the blemishes that my appearance debase.
My wooden clogs have with stepping become powdery tatters,72
While my iron thin pants take on an unexpected inky hue.
The tiles of garter I will twine tight,
The porcelain head scarf will be wrapped around twice.
[Prelude to Purple Flowers]
I put on this sharkskin jacket,
And tie this ivory sash.
In my hand is this tasseled packet.
My father-in-law is the Local Deity,
My uncle, the King of Hell,
My older sister, the Goddess in the Moon,
My father, the Trail Blazer at Funerals,
My mother, the wooden Puppet Companion.
(The CHILDREN push KUAI TONG, and he falls. KUAI TONG sings:)
These brats have made me fall on my butt in a sprawl.
CHILDREN: Do you dare sue us?
KUAI TONG (sings:)
I will sue you to the High God of Primal Beginning.
CHILDREN: Who is your witness?
KUAI TONG (sings:)
None other than the Buddha of Blazing Brightness.
CHILDREN: Look, this is really a madman.
KUAI TONG (sings:)
[Little Red Peaches]
You brats are stirring up such din and clamor on the street!
May you all be crushed, may your destruction be complete!
Chased through front alleys and back in a spinning vertigo,
I am no long-suffering old lady taking every blow.
Again and again I rub the dry bread next to my chest:
For those who know me, I will be the guest.
Friends and companions will sit together:
None but sheepish comrades and my canine brother.
(He chases the children offstage.) It’s getting late. Let me get back to the sheep pen. (He goes to the sheep pen and shows grief.) (Sings:)
[Golden Plantain Leaf]
A sorry end, as you tried to put out a fire draped in hemp,
But I am not like those who follow the wind to whatever camp.
When things come to a head, I opt for a speedy exit,
Only now have I broken free from the cangue of fame and profit.
SUI HE: I have come here to look for Kuai Tong. I have been following him around for several days. Judging from his deportment and appearance, he has not gone mad. It’s getting late. I saw him heading for the sheep pen. Let me try to overhear what he is saying.
KUAI TONG: The blue sky is pellucid like water. Such stars inside the River of Heaven, such stars outside! Moonbeams are shooting through—I cannot but compose a song.
(Chants the song:)
A human form is but an earthen clod, a wooden block—what is to be done?
The message is there for the decipherer, but who is the one?
Loyal words only stoke present woes,
Feigning madness, I flee from perils all too close.
Han Xin the marshal: what a mockery!
A pillar of the state for naught: a heartbreaking travesty!
When the game is gone, the hound is drawn.
When the enemy state is laid waste, the general is erased.73
Look toward Xianyang:
One stretch of the sky
Shows clear cosmic signs of those who live or die.
The Civil Stars shine high,
The Martial Stars lowly lie—where and why?74
SUI HE: I have to unmask this man. (Greets KUAI TONG:) Kuai Tong, didn’t they say you’ve gone mad?
KUAI TONG (sings:)
[Ghosts on the Third Terrace]
Deep into the night, I sit alone.
Yet I am exposed: who could have known?
Alas! The mantle of feigned madness is overthrown.
SUI HE: Kuai Tong, you are guilty of deceiving His Majesty. The emperor is summoning you to court. You should not have feigned madness.
KUAI TONG (sings:)
So what if death looms?
Can I not let go of the scented halls and painted rooms?
Give or take, right or wrong—let them decide,
I will embrace death from the cauldron’s inside.75
As for you, you, you—revel in the uproar as justice you deride.
SUI HE: Following Prime Minister Xiao’s order, I am to bring you to court. Tomorrow we will set out together.
KUAI TONG (sings:)
[Song of Jest and Laughter]
As for him—he, he, he is really going too far.
Who can boast of peace that no storm will mar?
As the saying goes, “Drop by drop, everything will return to the old jar.”
Just think: Peng Yue, King of Daliang, crushed Chu—his merit was great,
Ying Bu, King of Jiujiang, was in valor his mate.
But our Marshal Han’s genius the Han dynasty did create.
Who was it indeed who swept up chaos and offered a clean slate?76
[Bald Fellow]
Why did I strip myself naked like an idiot?
Why did I let my hair hang loose in a tangled riot?
Self-mockery takes shape as songs, which I carelessly hum all day long
Till night comes, when at the sheep pen the urge to survive is strong—
The sheep pen where I would be gone.
[King of Holy Medicine]77
With words of errant course
You will seize me by force.
The claim that I feigned madness you would endorse.
But then it’s not because I let my words stray,
Nor are my thoughts in disarray.
It comes down to this: Who was it who built the foundations of this domain?
How did it become a dream all too vain?
[Coda]
I think back on how he helped the ruler: expanding frontiers, conquering land;
This is precisely how it should all end.
The other day he suffered wrongful death at the Midnight Palace,
And now Xiao He of Han is eyeing me with malice. (Exits.)
SUI HE: Kuai Tong has left. Who would have expected him to feign madness or that I should unmask him with just a modest display of wit? When the morrow comes, I would not dare to tarry. I will have to report discharge of my mission to the prime minister. (Recites:)
Because of the deep bond that Han Xin and Kuai Tong shared,
I was sent on a secret mission, for discernment well prepared.
Deviant ones will for the burden of deviance suffer,
Between the strong man and his stronger rival there is no buffer.
ACT 4
(XIAO HE and FAN KUAI lead the GUARDS and come on stage.)
XIAO HE: Ever since Sui He went to trick Kuai Tong, we’ve found out—who would have thought?—that Kuai was indeed feigning madness. We’ve heard that Sui He is returning with him. By the time he arrives, we will have prepared a cauldron to boil him alive, so that all future troubles will be forestalled. General Fan, who among the high ministers have still not arrived?
FAN KUAI: Prime Minister, Cao Can, Lord of Pingyang, and Wang Ling, Lord of Anguo, have not yet arrived.78
XIAO HE: So those two are not here yet. Guard, request the presence of Cao Can and Wang Ling.
GUARD: Yes sir.
(EXTRA MALES dressed as CAO CAN and WANG LING come on stage.)
CAO CAN (recites:)
The Liu house I support with devotion singular and sublime.
The ruler, presiding in peacetime, is in his prime.
Great were my achievements on the battlefield,
Thus power over ten thousand households at Pingyang I wield.
This humble official is Cao Can, a native of Pei county. Here is the general Wang Ling, Lord of Anguo. We grew up together in the same town, and later we served the Han emperor together, both receiving honors as lord and general. Prime Minister Xiao tricked Han Xin to come to court and had him executed. Now he is gathering officials for a meeting at his residence to discuss this matter. Guard, report that Cao Can and Wang Ling have arr
ived.
GUARD: Reporting to the Prime Minister: Cao Can and Wang Ling are at the gate.
XIAO HE: Send them in. (They greet each other.)
CAO CAN: Prime Minister, why did you summon us for a meeting?
XIAO HE: Honorable sirs, you may or may not know, but we already tricked Han Xin to come here and had him executed. But still there is Kuai Tong, an adviser under his command. Those two were of one mind; if we don’t get hold of him and also put him to death, it will surely spell future trouble. Now we have sent Sui He to bring him here. This is taking out the roots with the grass—planning for the country’s long-term security. I am certainly not perversely persecuting the loyal and dutiful. Do you all agree?
ALL: Prime Minister, your judgment is unerring.
XIAO HE: Guard, send for Sui He.
GUARD: Yes sir.
SUI HE (enters:) I went to look for Kuai Tong. Who would have thought that he was feigning madness? I already tricked him into coming. The prime minister is summoning me. I will have to go. Guard, report that Sui He has come.
GUARD: Reporting to the Prime Minister: Sui He has arrived.
XIAO HE: Send him in.
GUARD: This way please. (XIAO HE and SUI HE greet each other.)
SUI HE: I have brought Kuai Tong here.
XIAO HE: Guard, drag that Kuai Tong forward.
GUARD: Yes sir.
KUAI TONG: Now that I am here, my days are numbered! (Sings:)
[Double Tunes mode: Song of New Water]
I think of Zhang Liang of Han: he left court and chose reclusion,
Marshal Han, long since betrayed, died in a trice by execution.
Woe indeed for the heaven-supporting pillar of white jade!
Such grief for the sea-spanning bridge from purple gold made!79
He expanded the empire, opening its frontier:
Achievements are twisted into calumny, as his name they smear.80 (Speaks:)
Guard, report that Kuai Tong is at the gate.
GUARD (reports:) Kuai Tong is at the gate.
XIAO HE: Send him in.
GUARD: You are summoned. (KUAI TONG greets the others and makes a show of jumping into the cauldron with boiling oil.)
XIAO HE: Stop! Stop! Stop! Kuai Tong, why are you rushing to jump into the cauldron without so much as a word? Are you so eager to die?
FAN KUAI: You cannot ask him. If you do, he will surely give a persuasive speech.