by R. L. Maizes
“You don’t know. If this practice fails, I’ll be looking again, and maybe I’ll find something, and maybe I won’t.” She wipes her temple with the side of her index finger.
Until now, Paula hasn’t noticed Joyce’s distress, so well hidden behind self-reliance and efficiency. Focused on her own unraveling life, Paula hasn’t considered that the paralegal is counting on her to keep the law practice alive, and that she, Paula, is failing not only herself and her clients, but Joyce, too. She would like to take care of Joyce, who has always taken care of her. But when she looks at her desk, the backlog seems to have grown, and she feels powerless to get it under control.
* * *
A month later, Paula’s in the pharmacy, picking up the St. John’s Wort that Joyce recommended. Avoiding the back where the drugs are kept, she sees Roger in front. He’s still bald and looks stronger, as if he’s been working out. He turns and sees her. Stepping out of the cash-register line, he approaches her, and Paula feels excited. Maybe he’s had enough of their separation.
He tells her the county has hired him to work on the courthouse expansion.
She says, “Congratulations.”
He says, “Thanks.” There’s a condo he wants to buy. He lowers his voice and says his lawyer will call. That is how she learns her marriage is over. Though it ended the day she left Petal and Tanner in the car with the chemo, killing the dogs as she tried to save Roger.
Thwap, thwap, she hears that night as she carries dirty teacups into her kitchen. Thwap, thwap, as she dumps their contents into the trash. Perhaps she can trick the pain by staying busy. Nothing else has worked. She wasn’t expecting Roger’s news, but she should have been. She might have braced herself for it.
Selecting a picture of Tanner and one of Petal from the many on her desk, she slides them into frames she emptied of photos of her and Roger. The rest of the photos—of the dogs and Roger—she layers in a shoebox.
She bags dog beds, toys, sterilized bones. As she packs leashes, she hears it again, louder this time and more urgent, heartbreaking and haunting, and she finally understands. She promised to run with them that Saturday in May; they are still stuck, waiting.
Acknowledgments
My deepest thanks to my editor, Deb Futter, for incorporating my dream of a collection of stories into her vision for a new publishing family at Celadon Books. Her support and the support of the entire Celadon team have exceeded my hopes.
My agent, Victoria Sanders, is a magician who took a chance on my collection and on me as a writer. Agents Bernadette Baker-Baughman and Jessica Spivey at VSA helped lead me through the sale of my first books, graciously answering questions and calming my anxieties.
I couldn’t have written this collection without the help of Will Allison and Erika Krouse, whose deeply thoughtful critiques guided me. As I drafted the stories, I had the privilege of studying the craft of fiction with Laura Pritchett and Clare Beams, and workshop leaders Jill McCorkle and Steve Yarbrough at the Sewanee Writers’ Conference, Ursula Hegi at the Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference, and Rebecca Makkai, Robin Black, and Antonya Nelson at Lighthouse Writers Workshop. I hear your wisdom as I work.
Literary magazine editors Halimah Marcus, Maegan Poland, Lorinda Toledo-Smailes, and Suzanne McConnell first published several of the stories with such great care.
Friends who encouraged me to dream on paper, who read and guided my work: Hilary Zaid, Melissa Scholes Young, Wendi Temkin, Laura Smith, Shoney Sien, Natalie Serber, Lia Pripstein, Heidi Pate, Drea Knufken, Kathy Kaiser, Emily Franklin, Linda Cornett, Kathy Conde, Elissa Cahn, and fellow writers at Bread Loaf, Sewanee, Lighthouse, and the AWP Writer to Writer Mentorship Program, especially my mentor, Jon Papernick. I don’t know where I would be without all of you.
Many thanks to my mother, Hannah Maizes, of blessed memory, who, whenever I complained I was bored, responded, “Read a book!” My father, Isaac Maizes, was never without a book in his hand. My sisters, Beth, Victoria, and Miriam, not only read drafts of my work but also know where I come from. Your friendship is a gift.
I’ve been told it’s going overboard to mention the animals who have traveled alongside me, teaching me about love, giving me comfort, and serving as muses. Sorry, Tilly, Chance, Molly, Flora, Arie, and Rosie. That’s just how it goes.
Finally, to my husband, Steve, whose love sustains me: We found each other just in time. Hold on tight.
About the Author
R.L. Maizes was born and raised in Queens, NY. She now lives in Boulder, CO. Maizes’s short stories have aired on National Public Radio. Her stories have appeared in the literary magazines Electric Literature, Witness, Bellevue Literary Review, Slice, and Blackbird, among others. Her essays have been published in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Lilith, and elsewhere. Maizes is an alumna of the Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference, the Sewanee Writers’ Conference, and the Tin House Summer Workshop. Her work has received Honorable Mention in Glimmer Train’s Fiction Open contest, has been a finalist in numerous other national contests, and has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize. You can sign up for email updates here.
Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
We Love Anderson Cooper
Collections
Tattoo
The Infidelity of Judah Maccabee
No Shortage of Birds
L’Chaim
A Cat Called Grievous
Better Homes and Gardens
Couch
Yiddish Lessons
Ghost Dogs
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in these stories are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Concerning the short story entitled “We Love Anderson Cooper,” neither Anderson Cooper nor any person or entity affiliated with Anderson Cooper 360 has sponsored or authorized that particular short story, nor been involved in any way with its writing and publication.
WE LOVE ANDERSON COOPER. Copyright © 2019 by R.L. Maizes. All rights reserved. For information, address Celadon Books, 120 Broadway, New York, NY 10271.
www.celadonbooks.com
Cover design by Evan Gaffney
Cover image by Daniel Handal
These stories, or earlier versions of them, first appeared as follows: “Collections” in Witness; “Tattoo” in Bellevue Literary Review; “L’Chaim” in MonkeyBicycle; “A Cat Called Grievous” in Electric Literature; “Better Homes and Gardens” (then titled “Mama Jane’s Pizza”) in Brain, Child Magazine; “Couch” in Blackbird; “Yiddish Lessons” in The MacGuffin. An earlier version of “The Infidelity of Judah Maccabee” originally aired on NPR’s Hanukkah Lights.
ISBN 978-1-250-30407-0 (hardcover)
ISBN 978-1-250-30409-4 (ebook)
eISBN 9781250304094
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First Edition: July 2019