by Jane Graves
Matt was silent.
Robert’s expression turned wicked. “Now tell me how long you’ve been sleeping with her.”
“I’ll answer that.”
Matt spun around when he heard the voice behind him, shocked to find Kay standing at the door. And she was wearing—oh, God—one of his shirts.
She stepped out onto the porch, but instead of approaching Hollinger, she walked toward Matt. He wondered why—until he saw a faintly seductive smile cross her lips. In one smooth move, she slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him—a deep, sensual, last-night-was-wonderful-can’t-wait-for-tonight kind of kiss that left absolutely nothing to the imagination. If Hollinger wondered about their relationship before, he wasn’t wondering now.
Kay pulled away slowly, languorously. “Just one night,” she said, “and it was wonderful.”
Under any other circumstances, Matt would have been delighted by the compliment. Unfortunately, Kay’s timing left a bit to be desired.
“Matt,” Kay said softly, her arms still draped around his neck and her gaze still fixed on his, “tell this jerk that your personal life isn’t any of his business.”
“I beg to differ, Kay,” Robert said. “It’s very much my business. I’ve got twenty-five thousand dollars that says it is.”
Matt squeezed his eyes closed, praying for an earthquake, or a tornado, or maybe a sudden thunderstorm complete with golf-ball-size hail—anything to distract Kay from the pronouncement Hollinger had just made. But when she turned to face Hollinger with an expression of guarded curiosity, he knew even a volcanic eruption couldn’t save him now.
Kay’s hands slipped away from Matt’s shoulders. “Twenty-five thousand dollars?”
Hollinger turned to Matt. “Oh, my. Have I spoken out of turn? I thought surely by now you’d told Kay the real reason you allowed her to come to the shelter.”
“Real reason? What are you talking about?”
“Dr. Forester applied for a grant with the Dorland Group.”
“Yes. I know. So?”
“Did you also know that he was absolutely guaranteed to get that grant?”
Kay shot Matt a look of surprise.
“Dr. Forester and I made a deal when you came to the shelter. I told him that as chairman of the selection committee, I could insure that the money was as good as in his pocket, if only he would do me one small favor.” Hollinger’s eyes narrowed with wicked anticipation. He paused a long time, letting the moment grow larger and more treacherous until Matt couldn’t stand it any longer.
“He had to agree to make your life miserable for one hundred hours.”
Kay looked at Hollinger with the blank stare of someone who’d been struck with a bat but had yet to feel the pain. Then, as astonishment and disbelief rose on her face, she turned to Matt.
“Is that true? You let him bribe you?”
The look of betrayal on Kay’s face was like a knife through Matt’s heart.
“He bribed you to carry out his revenge? To make life miserable for me?”
“Try to understand,” he told her. “I didn’t even know you then. I didn’t—”
Kay inched closer to him, dropping her voice. ‘‘But you do now. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Matt was speechless. He wanted desperately for Kay to go inside, let him handle Hollinger, and then he could explain everything later. But he wasn’t going to get that opportunity. Kay wasn’t going anywhere.
“Don’t take the money,” she said.
Her voice was an intense whisper, and the imploring look in her eyes cut straight to his heart. “Tell Robert to forget it, Matt,” she whispered. “Please.”
All at once he felt smothered, as if every atom of oxygen had suddenly been obliterated from the atmosphere. The two most important things in his life were hanging in the balance, and it was as if he had a huge, muddled mess in his mind that he couldn’t possibly sort out. He met Kay’s eyes again, and they stared at each other a long, shaky moment.
“Matt..?”
Matt opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t tear a huge, irreparable hole in the fabric of his life. That would keep those thirty animals at the shelter alive and well and keep Kay in his life at the same time. That would make a spiteful jerk like Hollinger disappear from the planet forever and take his impossible dilemmas with him. He just didn’t know what to say.
So he said nothing.
Kay spun around and headed for the door. Matt caught her arm. “Kay, wait—”
She yanked her arm from his grip. “Don’t!”
“Uh-oh,” Hollinger said. “Looks like we’ve got a lovers’ spat.”
“I can’t do this," Kay said. "If you want to let yourself be manipulated by scum like Robert, that’s fine. But I don’t want any part of it.”
Matt felt a flash of anger. Couldn’t she see the position he was in? “Look, Kay. I’ve got thirty-some animals over there depending on me. And what do I tell people who bring me more? Do I tell them to take them to the pound, where I know they’ll eventually die? Is that what I’m supposed to do?”
“You don’t need that grant! Things are better now. I’ll help you any way I can. Just please don’t—”
“I got a letter from the bank yesterday. If I don’t make up the back payments on the shelter they’re foreclosing.”
He saw her swallow hard, but the accusatory look in her eyes never faded. “Then take it, Matt. Go ahead. But what about the next time you need money? Whose game will you play then?”
She brushed past him, but he caught her arm again. He pulled her around to face him. “Kay. Please!”
He wished he could make her understand why he’d done it, but she refused even to look at him. The only thing she could see right now was that he’d entered into a shady deal with the man she hated most on earth, and there was no way she’d ever forgive him.
She closed her eyes, then eased out of his grasp, and he had the sudden, desperate feeling that it was the last time he’d ever touch her.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered.
A single tear slid down her cheek. “I think you already have.”
She went into the house, leaving the door ajar, and as she disappeared up the stairs, Matt felt as if his heart had been yanked right out of his chest.
“I don’t understand it,” Hollinger said as he peeked innocently into the house, shaking his head with bewilderment. “Kay seems a little distressed.” He turned to Matt. “Does she seem a little distressed to you?”
Matt barely heard Hollinger’s words. All he could think about was the look of betrayal on Kay’s face, a look that washed away his memory of everything they’d shared last night.
“Well,” Hollinger said jovially. “Looks like we’re full-steam ahead on the awards ceremony, doesn’t it?
Matt turned around slowly. “You’re a bastard, Hollinger.”
Robert laughed. “Some people think so.”
“I want you to sign off on the agreement with Kay. She’s still a few hours short, and I don’t want her owing you any five thousand dollars if she doesn’t finish.”
“Now, why would you think I would give a damn now about all that volunteer crap? After all,” he said with a wicked grin, “I got what I wanted.”
All at once the malicious artistry with which Hollinger had manipulated the situation struck Matt full-force. He’d got what he wanted, all right. Revenge. It hadn’t come quite the way he’d planned it, but he’d gotten it just the same.
“I’ll see you at the awards ceremony Saturday. Seven o’clock. Don’t be late.”
Hollinger headed for his car, leaving Matt standing alone on the porch trying to decide who he hated more—Hollinger for driving Kay away from him, or himself for letting all this happen in the first place. He’d thought he’d known what Hollinger was capable of, but nothing had prepared him for this.
The devil had come to collect Matt’s soul, and he’d handed it over without a fight.<
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Chapter 13
Three evenings later, Kay sat on a lawn chair on the patio of Claire’s condominium, staring at the city lights glimmering through the twilight. She thought about the apartment she’d put a deposit down on—a white-walled, beige-carpeted apartment she’d found the day after she left Matt’s house. She could have searched longer and found something more aesthetically pleasing, but that would have meant staying with Claire several days longer and she wasn’t sure she could tolerate that. The apartment would be ready next week and she’d be out of there.
All at once the sliding door behind Kay whooshed open and Claire strode onto the patio. “I’m telling you, Kay, you’ve got to do something about that cat.”
Kay smiled furtively. “Oh? Why is that?”
“He spat at me!”
“Come on, Claire. Clyde’s in a cage.”
“Yeah, and last night he reached a paw out of that cage and practically took my arm off! And the way he stares at me sometimes, like some kind of feline serial killer...” Claire shuddered. “I tell you, it’s creepy.”
“You’re not afraid of Clyde, are you, Claire?”
“Hell, yes, I’m afraid of him!”
Kay rolled her eyes in a perfect imitation of her sister. “Will you grow up? You’re an adult now. The big bad kitty won’t get you.”
Claire twisted her mouth with disgust, apparently not enjoying the irony of the situation half as much as Kay was. “What’s with you, anyway? A few months ago you couldn’t stand the sight of a cat. Now you’re inviting one to live with you—in my condo!”
“It’s only for a few days until my apartment is ready.” “No. He’s got to go. Like I told you when you showed up with that mountain lion, this is a no-pets building. Legally speaking, my landlord has every right to—”
“Claire!”
Claire stopped short, her eyes wide at her sister’s commanding tone.
“Do me a favor, will you? Just once, would you put all that attorney stuff on hold?” She pointed to a lawn chair. “Just sit."
Claire’s jaw dropped halfway to the ground. Then slowly she put her jaws back together and sat down where Kay had directed her to.
“Well, at the risk of bringing up more ‘attorney stuff,’ ” Claire said, “I got the signed agreement from Robert today in the mail. I guess you’re a free woman.”
Kay felt a glimmer of relief that it was really over— that she wouldn’t have go back to the shelter. She knew if she gave Matt half a chance he’d sweep her back into his arms with a heart stopping smile and a kiss that would render her temporarily insane, and for a while she would forget what he’d done. But she couldn’t forget. She knew if she stayed with him she’d never feel strong and steady and anchored in his arms. She’d feel like a rowboat being tossed around in a storm with no land in sight because she couldn’t say for sure what he’d do the next time he needed money.
She felt Claire’s gaze on her. She ignored it staring ahead at nothing. She’d done a lot of that since she moved in with her sister—staring at nothing. It was something she generally did when she was trying really hard not to cry.
Claire let out a frustrated breath. “You know, I don’t get it. You weren’t anywhere near this broken up when you lost Robert, and you were engaged to him.”
“Robert lost me, Claire. It’s about time you got that straight.”
Claire opened her mouth to respond, but this time she closed it again before words came out. They sat in silence, staring ahead at the city lights sparkling through the dusk. A bright half-moon hovered near the horizon.
“I guess you really liked the guy, huh?”
The sarcastic edge to Claire’s voice had disappeared, catching Kay off-guard. She blinked, her stony facade starting to crumble. “I loved him.”
That confession slipped out before Kay really realized what she’d said. She expected Claire to sit up straight give her a figurative rap on the knuckles and tell her to snap out of it. Instead her sister dropped her gaze to her lap and sighed gently.
“I’m sorry, then. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
This unaccustomed sympathy from Claire only intensified Kay’s misery. She thought about Frisbees, old movies, tiny love seats, bad cooking and the man she’d thought she loved. The man she still loved. The man she was going to have to learn not to love.
“I guess the cat can stay,” Claire said, as if that hadn’t already been decided, “but in your room. Only in your room. If I catch him anywhere else, I’m feeding him to the Rottweiler down the street. Got that?”
Kay figured it would be more like Clyde eating the Rottweiler. She smiled a little. “Got it.”
Claire stared at Kay a long time, her gaze softening. “Hey, Scarlett,” she said. “Tomorrow’s another day.”
Kay nodded, acknowledging the closest thing to a pep talk she was likely to get from her sister—exactly five words more than she’d ever got before.
Claire went back inside, and Kay returned her gaze to the city lights. How long would it take before she could look at a dog, or a cat, or even a box of macaroni and cheese, without thinking of Matt? A long time, she figured.
Maybe forever.
One morning a few days later, Kay looked up from her computer screen to see Mr. Breckenridge standing in front of her desk.
“I just heard some good news, Ms. Ramsey.”
“Good news?”
“Yes. About the Westwood Animal Shelter. I’ve just been notified that the selection committee has designated it to receive this year’s grant. Since you volunteer there, I thought you’d be interested in knowing.”
Kay felt as if a barely healed wound had just been ripped open again. “Yes,” she said, forcing a smile. “That’s wonderful.”
“The awards banquet is Saturday night I was wondering if perhaps you’d like to come along.”
Kay felt a flutter of panic. No way could she go to that ceremony. “I’m sorry, Mr. Breckenridge. I couldn’t possibly—”
“You can come as my guest. With your being a volunteer at the shelter, I can’t think of anything more appropriate.”
Kay wanted to tell him she wasn’t a volunteer any longer, but that would seem a little odd since she’d been so enthusiastic about the shelter only a few weeks ago. Then she’d have to say why she wasn’t a volunteer, and....
It was just best not to go there at all.
She started to tell Mr. Breckenridge that she already had something planned for that evening so she couldn’t come. But before she could decide which direction to go with that particular excuse, he sat down in the chair beside her desk and lowered his voice.
“Actually, Ms. Ramsey, you’d be doing me a favor.”
“A favor?”
“Yes.” He sighed a little. “You see, as president of the Dorland Group, I’m obligated to attend this event, but I must admit that I’m not looking forward to it. As you know, my wife died several months ago, and I haven’t ventured out socially since then. We were married for over forty years, so it feels a little odd....” He got a faraway look on his face for a moment and his eyes got a little misty. Then he cleared his throat. “I thought perhaps you’d come along to keep me company.”
No! I can’t do it! But even as Kay’s brain set up a flurry of wild protest, she got a little dewy-eyed herself. How must it feel to be alone after forty years of marriage?
“I’m just not up to enduring the condolences of minor acquaintances who feel the need to address my loss as a social necessity.” He managed a small smile. “Perhaps if I have a beautiful young woman by my side, those people will spend their time gossiping instead of consoling.”
Kay couldn’t imagine anyone suggesting anything improper about Mr. Breckenridge’s behavior under any circumstances. She sighed. It looked as if she was going to at least make it possible for them to try.
“So you don’t mind being gossiped about?” she asked.
“At my age, Ms. Ramsey, I’d consider it a compliment.”
Kay gave him a tiny smile. “Of course, Mr. Breckenridge. I’d be happy to go with you.”
“Wonderful. It’s at the Fairmont Hotel. Cocktails at six-thirty, ceremony at seven. Semiformal.” He leaned closer and dropped his voice. “And when you choose what you’re going to wear, young lady, please remember—I have a pacemaker.”
He rose from the chair and went back to his office. Kay felt a warm glow at the thought of doing something to help Mr. Breckenridge after all he’d done for her. But watch Matt accept that grant? How was she ever going to deal with that?
On Saturday night at six forty-five, Matt stood at the mirror in the men’s room of the Fairmont Hotel, yanking at his tie. No matter how many times he tied the damned thing, the knot was still crooked. What kind of sadist had invented these things? Even when they weren’t choking you, they were hanging there crooked, waiting to pick up a good gust of wind so they could slap you in the face. And who really needed a silk spaghetti-sauce magnet, anyway?
Finally he stopped messing with the tie, placed his hands on the edges of the sink and bowed his head, letting out a long breath of frustration. It wasn’t the tie that was the problem. It was that he was here in the first place. That was the problem.
Slowly he looked up and stared into the mirror, and he didn’t particularly like the guy looking back. He hated himself for what he’d done to Kay. She would never forgive him. Some wounds went too deep to repair, and this was one of them. She was gone now and nothing was going to bring her back.
He couldn’t help but recognize the irony of it. He’d denied his feelings for Kay partly because he was afraid she’d desert him just as his ex-wife had. Yet he was the one to blame for driving her away.
He couldn’t forget her look of betrayal as she’d walked out of his house for the last time. Or the look of regret on Hazel’s face when he’d told her Kay was gone. Or, for that matter, the pitiful look on Buddy’s face as he held that Frisbee in his teeth and wondered where his favorite playmate was. The moment she’d left, it was as if every corner of the house suddenly turned cold and the four walls echoed with emptiness. Without Kay to bring the old house to life, it was nothing but an empty shell. And so was he.