by C. A. Harms
She stood up and I reached out for her, just missing her arm. Not really sure what I planned to say or do, but it was an attempt I was unable to control.
I silently watched as the bus approached and Natalie climbed the stairs without looking back. I wasn’t sure how long I sat there, but I still felt like the world had just stopped.
Chapter Seven
Natalie
I locked my deadbolt and went straight for my room, crawling into bed. I called into work while I took the 16.2 mile ride to my apartment in the back of a smelly bus. It took everything I had not to puke all over the guy across from me. He reeked of nicotine and whiskey.
Yeah, whiskey.
Who the hell gets drunk at 10:00 in the morning?
I shut myself off from the outside and turned off the ringer on my phone.
I refused to cry.
It was time to get over feeling sorry for myself.
It was time to use the strengths I spent building over the last couple years to my advantage.
I wasn’t going to be that girl.
Adam could go to hell because I didn’t need him. I could do this without his help.
I spent the rest of my weekend lounging around in my pajamas watching all my favorite movies. I covered up my anger and heartache with visions of Channing Tatum. That boy was so dreamy and Magic Mike was the best way to forget my trouble, even if it was only for a little while.
***
Monday came fast and classes seemed to drag on forever; I missed half of what my professors even said. I just wanted to sleep. I could tell this pregnancy was going to drain me for sure. Or maybe it was just the fact that I still hadn’t heard from Adam. After I told him about being pregnant he sort of disappeared. It wasn’t like I actually expected him to jump for joy or anything. But to act as if it wasn’t happening was not a reaction I expected either.
“Hey, Natalie.” A man’s voice gained my attention.
I turned around just as I was exiting the building to find Noah running down the stairs toward me with a big smile on his face.
“Hey, you.” I smiled in return.
Noah, a fellow student at UNC, had always been so friendly to me. Honestly I think he wanted it to be more, but it just wasn’t there for me. I didn’t feel anything more for him than friendship. It had nothing to do with how he looked or who he was in general, because he was adorable actually. I mean the boy rocked a pair of torn out jeans like no other. He wasn’t built but had a lean, toned body that was impressive. He had shaggy brown hair and, oh my hell, that dimple in his left cheek was the cutest. I just had a thing for bad boys.
Yep, and look where it got me.
“I was gonna stop over and get a burger. You wanna join me?” he asked, hopeful.
A burger. I swallowed hard. My stomach was already tensing up. “Um, actually, I’m not feeling the greatest. I was just gonna head home, but maybe next time.”
“Yeah, next time. I hope you’re feeling better soon.” He winked just before walking away.
***
Adam’s truck was gone again, or still, hell I don’t know. It just wasn’t in front of his apartment and it made my chest ache.
My dad had been calling me daily, checking in. I knew he was just worried about me, but I couldn’t take the constant questions.
After my mom died, he changed. My father used to be this hard guy, one who barely showed emotion and hugging was limited.
After what happened to me when I was sixteen, he lost it. He caved and I knew every day that went by he blamed himself for not being home that night. Now I felt like whenever something happened in my life that wasn’t perfect, he blamed himself for that too.
It was heartbreaking.
A light knock on the door pulled me from thoughts of my past. It was a little after 7:00 and I wasn’t expecting anyone but seeing Noah standing on my front porch was a complete surprise.
I opened the door slowly.
“Hey, Noah. What’s up?” He smiled brightly.
I shielded my body considering all I was wearing was a tank and a tiny pair of sleep shorts.
“I thought maybe you could use some of this.” Noah held up a Styrofoam bowl with a lid on it. I looked at him in confusion and he grinned. “Chicken soup.”
He shrugged just as I stepped aside to let him in.
“Thanks,” I said, because actually soup sounded amazing at the moment.
“No problem,” he walked toward the table. “How are you feeling?”
I sat across from him at the table as he slid the bowl toward me. Once I pulled off the lid and the aroma filled the air, I was instantly thankful it didn’t turn my stomach. I took the first spoonful in my mouth and closed my eyes as it slid down my throat, tasting like the best thing I had ever tasted.
“Okay, Nat,” Noah cleared his throat. “Only you could make eating soup sexy.” He laughed nervously and shook his head.
Oh shit. I knew it. I couldn’t take another round of drama right now.
I put the spoon down and looked up at Noah. “Hey listen, I need to tell you something.” He nodded and continued to watch me. “You’re a really nice guy.”
“Oh yeah, the nice guy speech.” He tried to make light of it but I could sense his disappointment.
“No stop, Noah, really. You are a nice guy and if things were different, maybe something could happen.” I took just a second to relax before continuing. “I’m pregnant.”
His eyes grew wide. “Well that wasn’t what I was expecting to hear you say.”
I laughed in return, suddenly feeling less tension in my chest.
“So what’s your boyfriend think about that?” Noah asked.
A lump formed in my throat.
“Well, Noah, I don’t have a boyfriend. It was just a really stupid night full of stupid choices.” I let my head hang low without looking him in the eyes.
“The guy knows though, right?” Noah sat up straighter. “You’re not gonna let him walk away without helping you, are you?”
I took a moment before I answered his question. Was I gonna let Adam walk away? Did I want his help? Did I really want to force him to be a part of his child’s life? The thought just made me sick to my stomach.
“I told him on Sunday. That was the last time I saw him. He hasn’t stopped by and he hasn’t been at his apartment, either. So I guess that just confirms the fact I was an idiot for thinking it might have made a difference for him to know.” I looked up at Noah. “Before I told him, I could actually pretend that maybe he would settle down and be a part of our lives. Now I can’t even pretend because I know he truly doesn’t give a shit. That just makes this entire thing so much harder to face.”
Noah reached out and took my hand. “Hey Nat, I’m here for you if you need anything. We’re friends, right?”
I returned his smile and nodded my head. “Yeah, we’re friends.”
Chapter Eight
Adam
I had been pulling everything together over the last few days. I spent hours on the phone with my banker and my father’s accountant. I wanted to get everything paid off back home and moved here locally.
I’d even gone as far as telling my parents about Natalie. Then I told them what they both had been wanting to hear for years—it was time for my ass to wake up. I needed to take care of what was mine and that meant letting go of my past. It was time to look at what was in front of me.
Because sometimes the best things in your life are those you didn’t expect.
***
Now here I sat out in front of Natalie’s apartment, watching her follow some guy down the front steps. I was seconds away from losing it; the scene pissed me off.
She wasn’t mine. I knew that, but she was carrying my child.
I sat behind the wheel of my truck and had to control my anger. I wanted to grab the punk and tell him to back the fuck up. Now I could honestly say I knew how Kole felt when I crossed the line with Lexi.
Why the fuck was I so pissed off to
see Natalie with another guy?
I reached my breaking point when I watched him reach out and pull Natalie against his chest to hold her close. He kissed the top of her head and it was all I could handle.
I got out of my truck and slammed the door a little harder than I’d intended too.
Natalie’s eyes found mine over the douchebag’s shoulder and she quickly put some distance between the two of them. He must have noticed the look on her face because he turned toward me as well.
“Natalie.” It was the only thing I felt I could say because I was fighting a raging temper. Her eyes shifted between me and this guy and I waited for her to say something.
The silence must have been too much for the guy because he extended his hand out toward me. “Hey man, I’m Noah, Natalie’s friend.”
I just looked down at his hand and then back up to his face.
“Well Noah, I’m the father of the baby Natalie is carrying; I think she and I need to talk.” I looked over at Natalie’s shocked face. “Alone.”
I refused to smile at this gorgeous girl. I was too irritated and I wanted to get rid of this guy. I needed to find out what this jackass was to her and then we needed to talk about us and where we’d go from here.
“Adam, stop being rude,” she whispered to me.
Natalie took a step toward Noah and placed her hand on his chest, flaring my irritation further. “We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?” He nodded his head at her and I clenched my fist. “Thanks for the soup and well, just for being here for me. Thanks for taking care of me.”
Fuck, if that didn’t hit home. I knew Natalie had been sick; I witnessed that at the diner. This douche was taking care of her when I should’ve been. Noah bent down and whispered something in her ear and she smiled. “I will, thanks,” she whispered back just before he turned and left.
Natalie watched as Noah walked to his car and climbed inside.
She spun around and I could see the anger in her eyes. She stormed toward me and placed her hands on her hips, glaring at me. “That was awful, Adam. You were so rude to Noah.”
“I don’t give a shit about Noah. We need to talk, Natalie.” I stepped closer, forcing her to step back. “I show up here to work this whole thing out with you and you got some fucking guy here.”
“You disappeared, Adam. I told you I was pregnant with your baby and you bailed,” she hollered right back at me.
“Yeah, Natalie, that’s right. You are pregnant with my kid! What the fuck are you doing in your apartment with some other guy?” I was trying not to raise my voice but it was so fucking hard.
“You know what? This is your baby, that’s right.” Natalie shoved her finger into the center of my chest. “But that doesn’t make me your property, asshole! It doesn’t give you ownership over me and my life.” She stood in front of me glaring and god damn if she wasn’t the hottest thing.
I tilted my head to the side. “Is that all you two are? Friends?”
“I don’t owe you any explanations. I don’t ask you who you’ve been screwing, so don’t show up here pretending we’re more than we are.” She turned and walked away.
“Fuck, Natalie wait. God damn it, this isn’t going like I wanted it to.” I jogged after her and wrapped my arm around her waist from behind. I pulled her back against my chest. “I’m sorry. I’m not used to all this shit.” I could feel her beginning to relax. “I’m not used to being jealous.” I squeezed my eyes shut tightly.
“Why would you be jealous?” she asked. “We had a one night stand, that’s all.”
I slowly turned her to face me and brushed my fingertips across her jaw. “I wanna do what’s right.” Her eyes continued to focus on mine. “What I should have done that night at the reunion was talk to you. I should’ve spent the time getting to know you.” Natalie’s eyes became glossy.
“I shouldn’t have left you alone that morning.” I pushed my hand back through her hair and gripped the back of her neck. When I tipped her head back she let her eyes close. “Baby, look at me.” Slowly Natalie opened her eyes and I brushed my thumb against her cheek. “I wanna get to know you, Natalie. I wanna take care of you, and I wanna take care of our baby.”
She began shaking her head and I stilled her face with my hands. “Yes,” I spoke sternly. “I’m gonna take care of both of you.” I kissed her softly and I felt a tear drop against our lips. I let my forehead rest against hers. “Let me take care of you, please.”
She bit her trembling lip and closed her eyes tightly.
“I can’t, Adam. I can’t let myself fall for you. I can’t let you hurt me.” She backed away from me and quickly entered her apartment.
I thought about pounding on the door, demanding she let me in, but decided against it. She needed time. I wasn’t gonna hurt her though, and I had to prove that.
I just wasn’t sure how.
I needed to talk to someone who knew her well and unfortunately I also knew Kole wasn’t gonna allow that to happen without a fight.
But I had to try.
I left my truck parked and walked down two duplexes. Once I made it inside I grabbed a beer from the fridge and stood at the counter flipping my phone around in my hand.
After about ten minutes of procrastinating, I dialed Kole’s number.
It was only a little after 9:00, but I hoped I didn’t wake them or the baby.
“Hello?” Kole’s voice sounded raspy.
“Um hey, it’s Adam.” I replied.
“Yeah?” He was obviously irritated.
I took another calming breath. “I was hoping I could talk to Lexi about Natalie.”
“Yeah right, like that’s gonna happen.” I could hear Lexi next to Kole asking who it was.
“Listen, Kole, I know you don’t like me. I also know that you have every right not to. I played around with your girl and that was a real jackass move. I’m an asshole, I know that. After everything I’ve been through I should’ve known better than to flirt with another man’s girl.” He was silent so I continued. “I don’t know if Lexi knows what’s going on with Natalie, but I was counting on her help. I have to do what’s right by her.” I heard Kole take a deep breath.
“She’s not just another girl to me,” I said in one last attempt to break through the barrier he had created.
“One fuckin’ comment that’s out of line to my wife and it’s over. You got that?” Kole practically growled the words.
I squeezed my eyes tightly and ran my hand through my hair. “Yeah I got it. This is about Natalie, nothing else.”
I heard some shuffling on the other end of the line before Lexi spoke.
“She told you, didn’t she?” she asked.
“Yeah.” Deep breath in, deep breath out. “She told me and I freaked out.” Another pause because that knowledge made my stomach twist. “I’ve gotta do the right thing, Lexi. But I just don’t know how.”
“You need to be talking to her, Adam, not me.”
I knew that already. “Yeah, well, I tried and she shut me out of her apartment. I told her I wanted to make things right. I told her I planned to take care of her and our baby, but she walked away.”
I heard Lexi laugh lightly. “Nat gets fired up easily and she’s hormonal to boot, so that just makes things worse.” Lexi was silent for a few seconds but I could hear her breathing. “Adam, Natalie’s a sweetheart. She believes in fate and true love, but she’s also been hurt in the past. But that story is Natalie’s to tell, not mine. My suggestion, don’t stop trying to convince her that you’re there for her. No matter how hard she pushes, you have to hold on and don’t let her slip away.”
I had every intention of doing all those things but I guess I’d hoped that Lexi would have had some type of insight on something I didn’t already know. I figured if anyone knew how to reach Nat, it would be Lexi.
“Just one thing, Lexi.” I was taking a chance, I knew that, but I had to try. “Do you know where Natalie’s appointment is tomorrow and what time? She told me a few days
ago she had one and I was hoping I could meet her there.”
Chapter Nine
Natalie
"Natalie Ryan?” I jumped at the sound of my name as it echoed throughout the waiting room.
I looked up to see an older woman in scrubs standing only a few feet away holding a file in her hands.
I offered her a kind smile as I stood from the chair and grabbed my purse. At the same moment as I passed in front of the lobby doors, they swung open and my mouth fell open in shock. Only a few feet away stood Adam staring back at me with a confident smile.
“What are you doing here, Adam?” The words flew from my mouth, a little louder than I intended.
I could feel my hands trembling and my stomach was in knots.
“Well, I couldn’t miss my baby’s first doctor’s appointment, now could I?” He grabbed my hand and laced his fingers through mine.
I was floored.
Rendered speechless.
I’d originally told him I had an appointment on Tuesday but so many things had happened since then and I truly hadn’t expected him to remember.
One thing I was curious about was how in the hell did he know what doctor and time? And another, what the hell was he trying to prove?
Instead of making a big deal about this then, I let him guide me through the waiting area to the waiting nurse instead.
“So you must be Daddy?” the nurse said to Adam.
I was shocked yet once again when I saw Adam smile the biggest smile yet. “Yep, I’m the daddy of this gorgeous girl’s baby.”
The nurse appeared awe-struck and I just wanted to tell her to pick up her tongue. The urge to smack the back of Adam’s head, hard, was pulling at me severely. He was playing the handsome devil card to a T.
First I had to step on a scale and check my current weight, which in my opinion, was always the worst part of any doctor appointment. Seeing that I was down three pounds from my original weight had me a little concerned.