Anger boiled her soul. She shook her finger at him. “Stop calling me that! What do you have on Mack? Whatever it is, get rid of it. Bury it! Expunge his record, or whatever you need to do. He’s a good man.”
“I didn’t say he was a bad man. Just not the man for you.”
“Why?”
“He doesn’t love you, sweetheart. He used you to get to me.”
She sunk back into the couch. “Impossible.”
“His friend was in the brig. Lieutenant Commander Riley thought that by being sweet to you, he could convince me to release his buddy. It worked, you know.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Sorry, pumpk…I mean, Jenna. But it’s true.”
Her insides shook. Was it true? Had Mack faked his feelings for her? She remembered the day they met. She’d sensed then he was playing her, or trying to. But after that? He’d seemed so sincere and loving. Had his amazingly rock-hard body and the beyond-her-wildest dreams loving clouded her judgment? Was she blind? Stupid?
He’d been so willing to go to war. To leave her.
She pressed her palms to her eyes.
“Oh, sugar. Don’t cry.”
She wasn’t going to cry. She wanted to strangle Mack first and her dad second. “He doesn’t have to love me.” She lifted her head. “It doesn’t matter.” I still love Mack and there’s no changing that. “Give him that desk job, Dad. Please. Don’t send him into battle.”
He stood too and put his hand on her shoulder. “You’ve always had a mind of your own. I’ll talk to him.”
She lifted up on her tip toes and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you, Dad.”
“I always look out for my little girl.”
“I know.”
She left her dad’s office in a hurry as emotions flooded her. Tears puddled on her cotton shirt. Her heart was a shredded mess, and she suspected it was only going to get worse.
Oh, Mack.
If he hadn’t loved her before, he’d hate her for getting him benched. Loving a SEAL wasn’t part of her original plan, but saving him was the new plan. It was the one thing she could control.
Or so she had believed eighteen months ago.
Little had she known the great admiral had a plan of his own up his decorated sleeve. Whether he’d thought he was protecting his little girl, or simply thought he needed Mack more than she did, her dad hadn’t any intention of benching Mack.
And she lost the man she loved.
Chapter Twenty-One
‡
About twenty minutes later, the helicopter hit a patch of turbulence. Jenna stirred and Mack woke up.
“What the hell, Ty? Folks are resting back here,” Mack grumbled.
“Sorry, Mack.”
Mack closed his eyes again.
“Hey, Mack. Now that you are awake, you can help us come up with a name.” Charlie came and sat down by him.
Mack didn’t open his eyes. “I’m asleep.”
“No, you’re not.” Willy was on the other side of him. “You’re lips are moving, and sound is coming out.”
“Watch it, boys. Mack’s been known to throw a few jaw-breaking punches in his sleep. You might want to scoot back a little.” Tavon joined in.
“Just help us with the name,” Willy said.
Mack cracked open an eye. “What name? Numbskulls? Pains in the ass?”
“No. For our group! We can’t really be the recon Black Pirates anymore or the premier assault team Gold Knights. We need a new name. Something that shows how totally badass we are.” Willy cocked an eyebrow.
“Willy’s right, we can’t be our old SEAL group names, or our DEVGRU name. It has to be different,” Charlie agreed. “And totally badass.”
“The mission’s over. Why do we need a name at all?” Tavon asked.
Mack raised his hand in agreement. “Exactly. Now let me sleep.”
“No. Think about it, if Jenna ever wants us to rescue a billionaire from the top of Kilimanjaro, or a sexy fair maiden tied up in the galley of a Somali pirate ship, or two sexy, sexy maidens strapped to the back of a camel in Bagdad, we’re there, man.” Willy bounced like a kid in his seat. “Saving clients, kicking major butt, and looking beautiful while we do it. But dude, we need a team name, or it just doesn’t have the same badassedness.”
“I don’t think that’s a word,” Charlie corrected.
“Since when have I cared what you think?” Willy replied.
“How about the Black Warriors?” Ty spoke up from the cockpit.
“Seriously? You’re in on this too, Whitehorse?” Mack shook his head.
“A team has to have a name, Mack.”
Jenna sat up. “What about the Black Blades? You know, to match Willy’s tattoo. Or what is yours, Charlie, a black raven?”
“Sorry these goofballs woke you,” Mack said. “Do you want me to beat some sense into them?”
“Wouldn’t work with Willy. No matter how hard you beat him, he doesn’t get any smarter,” Charlie said. “And I’m amazed you noticed my tat, Jenna, I had it covered most of the time.”
“I’m working on my recon skills.” She stretched, popping her back. “Or…oh, I’ve got it. How about the EXtreme Team?”
“EXtreme Team,” Mack repeated.
“That’s not too bad. It’s like that television show I used to love—the A-Team.”
“Did they have a woman on that show?” Charlie asked.
“I think they had a lot of women on that show, just as I fully intend to do in real life.” Willy wiggled his eyebrows.
Charlie socked him. “That’s not what I mean. We’ve got Jenna on our team. She really nailed that one guy. Perfect kill shot. With a little target practice, she’ll be great backup.”
“Two guys. One without the use of the iPad.” A shudder rolled through her.
She had not processed it yet, and Mack knew from experience that the first kills could be really difficult to live with. Mack also knew he could help her deal with it. Hell, she’d been tied up, beat up, and blindfolded by guerillas. His girl had been through a lot and she continued to amaze him with her strength.
Willy spun around to face Tavon. “And look! We have our own Mr. T.”
Tavon gave his infamous mad-dog growl. “That’s Big T. to you, puny man.”
“I’m cool with that! As long as I get to be the hot guy who gets all the chicks,” Willy said.
“Right. I’ll buy the getting chicks part. Not sure about the hot guy stuff. You’re more of the dense character who gets the girls in spite of your stupidity, and no one knows why,” Charlie said.
“I’m cool with that. As long as they all end up in my bed. Naked. Oh, and we all know why.” Willy hefted his own package.
“Enough! We’ve got women and children aboard,” Mack admonished.
“Sorry,” Willy said, but with that mischievous grin, it was hard to believe him. “I’ll leave you all with that rather endowed image in your minds. Call it the King Kong of images. The great kahuna of all things large.” He stood up and moved toward the cockpit.
Charlie shook his head. “Yeah, I don’t claim him. Mother must have found him in a trash can.”
Tavon laughed and rose too. “Okay. EXtreme Team it is. Go ahead and get some sleep, Mack.”
“Like I could now,” Mack grumbled.
“Uh, Jenna. Can I speak to you?” Charlie’s voice was suddenly serious.
Her eyebrows crinkled. “Sure. Can you give us a minute, Mack?”
Mack didn’t like it. Not one bit, but he rose and followed Willy.
*
“What’s up?” Jenna didn’t like the way Charlie was having trouble meeting her gaze.
“I wanted to apologize.”
“For what?”
“I was supposed to be watching you, protecting you, and keeping you out of harm’s way. It was a direct order, and I blew it. Those guerillas stole you away right from under my nose. If it takes a hundred years, a thousand, I promise I’ll make it up
to you.”
Wow, Jenna did not expect that admission at all.
“Charlie.” She put her hand on his arm. “You have nothing to apologize for. They used Jacob as bait to trick me. I was stupid. Really stupid. I wandered away from you to rescue him. It wasn’t your fault!”
“If anything had happened to you—”
“It would have been my own fault, not yours.”
He hung his head like a kid in trouble. “I let you down.”
“No. You didn’t. You were the one who shot the CRAF’s leader back there in the cabin. You saved my life. And you were amazing.”
He grinned. “I did get the goober, right between the eyes. That was a righteous kill shot. You were very brave to give the signal and duck like that. How did you know I was there?”
“I heard the snick of the door cracking open. When I was blindfolded my hearing became more acute. No one else heard you. But I did.”
He nodded. “Awesome.”
“So Charlie…” She moved a little closer. “Would you mind if I gave you a little kiss for your heroism?”
He blinked. “You think Mack will kick my ass?”
Mack’s voice came through the headsets. “Copy that. Hard and swiftly.”
Charlie’s dimples sunk and his pearly whites flashed. “Well then, by all means, pucker up. I’m sure it will be worth it.”
Jenna laughed and leaned in to kiss his cheek. Her lips barely grazed his stubble when he turned quickly to face her. She ended up planting a kiss square on his lips. Jenna pulled back in surprise.
Charlie shrugged. “If I’m going to get an ass-kicking, I might as well go all the way. Hey, Mack! I got to first base.”
Whistling, he jumped up and took the seat Jacob had vacated, doing his best to steer clear of Mack.
*
Mack made his way through the crowded helicopter and sat beside his sweetheart. “Hey, pretty girl.”
“Pretty? If I hadn’t witnessed first hand what a great shot you are, I’d say you need glasses, big boy. I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck. I’m sure I look it too.”
“Nah. You’re beautiful.” He leaned in and kissed her lips, gently, lovingly. “You’ve been through a lot these past couple of days.”
She pressed her hand to his chest and reveled in the rise and fall as he breathed. Feeling his heart beat so surely under her palm was more beautiful to her more than any music. She’d almost lost him. “Oh, my God. It’s been crazy.”
“That’s the understatement of the year. How are you holding up?”
She let out a long breath. “I’m trying to process everything, but it’s hard. I killed a man. Two! Dead. By my gun.”
“I know. You did good.”
“But it doesn’t feel good. I keep seeing the first guy fall forward. He was this strange man, someone I’d never met, and I killed him. He could have been someone’s father. He could have been just like my father, fighting because his boss told him too. Maybe his heart wasn’t really in it. Maybe he wasn’t a terrible man at all. How will I live with that?”
He rubbed her arm, making slow comforting circles on her skin. “On the battlefield, there is no choice. If a man is pointing a gun at you or your buddies, you take the shot. You don’t have the luxury of worrying about the bad guy. He wouldn’t worry about you. Or me. Or the team. You take the shot because if you don’t and the bad guy takes his, you’ll spend your life worrying about the shot you didn’t take. If your buddies die because you didn’t pull the trigger? That shot not taken is far worse than the one that hit its mark. Trust me. You did good.”
She shivered. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“That’s fine for now. But you are going to need to go through it eventually. It’s not good to bottle that crap up, or it might explode on you when you least expect it.”
She nodded. “I’ll talk to my therapist next week.”
Therapist? He had no idea Jenna had one. “That’s a good idea.”
“I’ve been through lots of crappy days in my life, but this stuff was really hard. I don’t know how you guys live with the stress. But you’re good at it, Mack. You were amazing out there. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so scared when you were deployed.” She blinked. “Well, I’d still be scared out of my mind, but at least I’d understand a little better.”
He pressed his forehead to hers. “You were really scared, huh? I couldn’t comprehend that fear, hell, I had no idea how crippling the terror could be until the guerillas captured you, babe. I felt like I was dying. I never, ever, want to go through something like that again. I wouldn’t survive it.”
She caressed his cheek. “That’s how I felt, Mack. When you chose to leave me.”
Suddenly, the drive to re-up wasn’t pulling him so hard. He was good at what he did. DEVGRU fit him like skin. But how could he put Jenna through this crap again? It wasn’t fair. He couldn’t hurt her. And he didn’t understand any of that until this engagement.
“Wait. I chose to leave you? You dumped me, babe. Hard. On my ass. Flat out.”
She sucked in a breath. “Not really. I let you go. You couldn’t wait to go. You loved the rush of battle more than you loved me.”
He shook his head. “Bullshit.”
She leaned forward until they were eye-to-eye. “Don’t deny it. I tried to get you benched. I went to my father to have you transferred to a safer job. Away from the field so we could be together. I pleaded with him. I begged. He told me that you were just using me to get your friend out of the brig.”
Tavon’s voice rumbled through her headset. “Say what? No, brother, you did not do that.”
Mack rubbed the back of his neck. Shit. “It wasn’t like that. Okay, in the beginning, maybe, for about ten minutes. But after that? Everything I said, did, was real. You’ve got to believe me. I fell in love with you the minute you climbed on my Harley and drove.”
“I believe you.” Her voice was heavy, sad. “But it wasn’t enough, was it?”
“It was, babe. I swear it was.”
“My father gave you the choice. You chose to go and leave me behind. And Mack, it terrifies me that you always will.”
It was as if someone had kicked him in the balls. The past, the way she saw it, came into focus.
“That day the admiral called me to his office? It was because you asked him to bench me?”
She nodded.
Shit. “And you thought I gave you up to go fight for Daniels and the other guys who were killed.”
“You did. My dad gave you a choice, but you said that you didn’t do desk jobs. And Mack, I didn’t want to do alone.” She tried to laugh, but it didn’t work. “And here I am, still alone.”
The blinding truth bit him in the ass. For all those months, he thought Jenna was a cold-hearted bitch, but wasn’t he the bastard who’d used her to get to her dad? He never knew how hard she had fought for him to stay with her. And how easily he had walked away. She’d left him a note saying she was shipping out too. She’d requested a trip to Hong Kong with her travel agency. She was sorry to leave so abruptly, but she hated good-byes and didn’t want to cloud the good times they’d had. In the letter, she’d said that it was better this way as his team would be leaving in the morning. He’d made his decision to leave, and she made hers. She’d signed it “take care.”
Take care? He loved this woman, more than he dared admit to himself, or anyone else for that matter. Loved, dammit! But it had been too late. She’d left him.
Mack ran his hand over his short hair. “I wish you had given me a chance to tell you how I felt before you flew off to Hong Kong.”
“Well, you were flying off to war.” Her brown eyes scoured his face. “How did you feel?”
“I wanted to marry you, Jenna”
“Then why didn’t you ask? You never even said you loved me.”
“Are you shitting me? You didn’t even propose to her? I thought she had said no,” Tavon growled. “Jeez, Mack.”
“I
thought she left you at the altar,” Charlie said.
“I thought she wised up and found someone better.” Willy wiggled his eyebrows. “There’s still time.”
“Shut up! This is between me and—” He looked around. All eyes were on him. “And the woman I love with all my heart. I’d never loved anyone until I met you. You’re the one for me, babe.”
“Oh, Mack.”
He faced her. “If I’d asked back then…”
“I would’ve known that you really did love me, at least as much as you loved going to war. And I would have had a choice, Mack. Not yours, or my dad’s. My choice.”
“Got it. I’m sorry I didn’t ask, babe. I was an idiot.”
“Yes, you were.”
“He still is,” Willy said. “There’s still time to trade up.”
Charlie snorted. “Up?”
“Yeah, Mack, you’re a total idiot,” Jacob added.
Mack narrowed his eyes at the boy. “You’re not helping me here, kid.”
“Well, you are. If I loved a girl that much, I’d give her a present.”
“Agreed,” Anna said. “Something sparkly.”
“No, something she really wants like a lizard that shoots blood out of his eyes. Who wouldn’t want a pet like that?” Jacob nodded.
Jenna smiled. “Absolutely, unless they are endangered.”
Willy laughed. “Little man, you know more about women than I do.”
“Seriously, a lizard knows more about women than you do,” Charlie joked.
“I’m all out of reptiles at the moment, but I might have something almost as good.” Mack used his Swiss Army knife to cut the seam out of his beloved camo pants.
“Mack! What are you doing?”
“Dude, just because you love those dirty pants doesn’t mean a girl would want a piece of them,” Charlie said.
“Hold on…” He cut the strings inside his pocket. “I’ve been carrying this around hoping…hell, praying that you’d accept it one day.”
Jenna gasped when he held the ring up so that she could see it.
“Will you marry me, Jenna Collins?”
She blinked quickly and tears sprung off her eyelashes. “Oh, Mack.”
He rolled his eyes. “Shit, Jenna. I don’t know what that means. I’m a man. Is it a yes, or a no?”
SEALs of Summer: Military Romance Superbundle - Navy SEAL Style Page 99