by Annie Rains
“She’d like that…Val?”
She looked at him, hoping her feelings wouldn’t show. If he’d fallen in love with her, too, he wouldn’t have turned his back on her so easily. Yeah, maybe she’d been wrong to keep parts of herself hidden from him. She’d been scared, though. Of rejection, of being laughed at, of not being taken seriously. She wasn’t sure of her exact reasons. They didn’t matter now, though, because things were over between them.
She shook her head, already overwhelmed by the day. “It was great seeing you, Griffin. I have to go. I’m helping prepare the food for the family to have after the burial.”
His gaze held hers and for a moment she prayed he’d say the things she longed to hear. If he had something to say, he could say it right now. He looked down at his hands instead. “Right. It was good to see you, too…Goodbye, Val.”
She pressed her lips together and held back her tears. For Alma. For Griffin.
His goodbye said everything.
“Goodbye, Griffin,” she said. Then she turned and walked away.
—
Louise was at the front desk of Seaside Harbor as Griffin walked in after the funeral. “Don’t you ever go home?” he asked.
The head nurse shook her head. “I came right back here after the service. This place is my home away from home. You’ll be happy to know your mother is having a good morning. The nurse assigned to her room today said she’s been humming again.”
“Oh, yeah? Maybe she’ll be up for a visit.”
“I hear she’s been asking for Val, but I’m sure you’ll do,” Louise teased.
Just the mention of Val’s name put him at unease. He hadn’t liked the awkwardness between them at the church earlier. He’d wanted to wrap his arms around her. It was obvious she was hurting over Alma’s passing, which killed him. Not being with Val killed him. What they had was more than just fun. Sure, maybe it’d started that way, but somewhere in their time together things had evolved to something deeper. Somewhere along the way he’d fallen in love with her. Maybe that was the real reason he’d jumped at the first opportunity to push her away. He didn’t like to think of himself as a coward, but falling in love was terrifying. It felt like a loaded gun pointed directly at him. Ever since he’d found out he was adopted, he’d looked at every relationship as something that was going to turn his life upside down. He liked to be in control of his feelings, but Val had shot that to pieces. He felt out of control when he was with her. And as much as he wanted to walk away from her now, he didn’t think he could.
“Griffin.” His mother looked up as he stood in the doorway to her room.
She knew his name again. He could get used to this. “Hi, Mom. How are you?”
She was seated at a chair beside her bedroom window. “I’m thinking it’s a beautiful day outside,” she said.
He stepped closer. “I’ll take you for a walk. Would you like that?”
She smiled, looking every bit like the mother he’d grown up with. She was different now, but pieces of her shone through sometimes, like sunlight breaking through the storm clouds.
“Let’s go.”
They circled around the nursing home’s courtyard, where his landscaper friend, Micah, had placed beautiful flowering trees and bushes. It was a serene place to be.
“I’m glad you’re here with me, Mom,” Griffin said, knowing his mother’s clarity would be short-lived. “Can I ask you something?”
They sat on a bench along the tall, white picket fence. “Why did you adopt me? I mean, there are millions of kids in the world who need homes. Why me?” He’d never asked her that question before. He’d barely given her time to explain before he’d joined the military and left home for good.
“Because when I saw you I knew that you were made for me. We belonged together.” She placed a warm hand on his. “I used to imagine telling you about your adoption story. I always wanted you to know that it was never a choice. When I saw you, I just knew.”
He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close, understanding exactly what she meant. Loving Val wasn’t a choice, either. It just was, and he was never walking away from someone he loved again, no matter what. There was no time to leave things unsaid. Whether she loved him or not, Val needed to know how he felt.
He loved her, didn’t want to live another day denying that, didn’t want to live another day without her in his life. This summer she had inspired hope inside him when he’d had very little. She’d ignited a flame that he suspected would always burn. She’d written herself on his memory; he didn’t need a tattoo to remind him of her. She was always on his mind, with every breath he took, and he wouldn’t be able to shake her, no matter how hard he tried.
So it was time to stop trying and go find her.
“Thank you, Mom,” he said, sitting with her for a little longer. Her memory slowly began to retreat, but she didn’t become agitated. She let him sit and hold her hand. Then he led her back to her room and kissed her forehead. “Thanks for choosing me,” he whispered, hitting the nurse’s call bell.
Then he headed to go find Val.
—
Val removed the cucumbers from her eyes and sat up from the couch. She hoped they’d helped with the swelling from today’s multiple crying sessions, like the beauty column in Cosmo had claimed they would.
She slipped on a fitted blue dress and strappy high heels, then headed to the mirror to work on hair and makeup. When Julie had called earlier, she’d hesitated, but decided her friend was right. A girls’ night out was exactly what she needed. Kat was staying home with her stepson, Ben, so it was just Val and Julie tonight, two girls ready for a fun-filled night of drinking and dancing.
And forgetting, because Val did not plan on thinking about he-who-should-not-be-named. Nope. She wasn’t going to mope over Griffin.
Heading to her door, she grabbed her purse and walked out into the clear, warm night. A short drive later she pulled up to Julie’s house. There were two other cars in the driveway that she thought she recognized. When she rang the doorbell she realized who they belonged to.
“Look who’s joining us!” Julie said, gesturing at Lawson’s sister, Beth, and the director of the local Veterans’ Center, Allison Carmichael.
“Great!” Val’s less-than-sincere smile stretched her face uncomfortably. Not that she wasn’t thrilled to be hanging out with Beth and Allison, but she really was in no mood for any of this. Maybe agreeing to come out tonight had been a mistake. Maybe continuing to cry about Alma, and Griffin, and over sappy Hallmark movies on TV was a better idea.
“No backing out now,” Julie said, pointing a finger. “I can see it all over your face. You need this tonight. Breakups mandate at least one night of drinking with the girls.”
Beth and Allison turned to Val with a gasp.
“You and Griffin broke up?” they asked in unison.
Val shook her head. “We were never really together.” She swiped a lock of hair behind her ear.
“Could’ve fooled me,” Beth said.
“And me.” Allison raised her hand. “I’ve seen you two out and about over the last few weeks. You looked like the real thing.”
Could’ve fooled Val, too. “Well, we’re not.” She forced another uncomfortable smile. “So let’s go have some fun, shall we?” Because the quicker she got this night started, the quicker it would be over with.
—
Heroes was packed as they walked in. The music and the smell of wood and spirits hit Val as soon as she entered the room. The atmosphere always seemed to make her feel better. She hoped the same was true tonight.
“Beth and I will grab drinks and you two go find a table,” Julie told Val and Allison.
Val gestured toward Allison. “Follow me. I know this place by heart.”
Allison shook her head. “I don’t come out much. I feel your pain being dragged here against your will tonight.”
Val sat at her favorite corner table and frowned at Allison. “What makes you so su
re that I don’t want to be here?”
“You’ve been crying all day,” Allison said matter-of-factly. “I know the look. Did you try cucumbers?”
Val slumped. “I did. They helped a little. So why did you have to be dragged here tonight?”
Allison looked around the room. “I’m not a fan of crowds, I guess.”
Val nodded, unable to help herself from scanning the room, too. And damn it. She was looking for Griffin.
Stop that!
Julie placed a margarita down in front of Val and sat. Beth did the same for Allison. “Bad news,” Julie said, placing her cellphone down on the table.
Val looked at it, then back up at Julie. “Already? The night just started.” And she couldn’t take any more bad news today.
“Lawson just called me looking for you,” Julie continued, lifting her Sex on the Beach to her mouth.
“Okayyy. Why is Lawson looking for me?” Val asked, straightening.
Julie averted her gaze. “Because Griffin called him wanting to know where you are.”
Val sucked in a breath. She wasn’t supposed to be thinking about Griffin tonight, much less talking about him. “Please tell me you told Lawson to tell Griffin to leave me alone.” Because Griffin had had every chance to do the opposite for the last few days.
Julie chewed her lower lip.
“Julieeee,” Val groaned.
“What? Lawson has ways of getting what he wants from me,” Julie said, glancing at the other girls.
Val let her forehead fall in her hands. “Maybe I should just go home. I can’t go rounds with Griffin tonight.”
“Maybe he doesn’t want to fight with you,” Allison said on the other side of her.
It didn’t matter what he wanted, though, because she knew what he didn’t want, and that was a relationship with her.
Val stood. “I’ve got to go. I’ll, uh, see you all later.”
“Val!” the girls called, but Val kept walking. Otherwise she was going to start crying all over again. She pushed past people in her way, breathing deeply. She’d just go home, put on her pajamas, and eat ice cream.
She bumped into someone and dropped her purse as she beelined for the door.
“I’m so sorry,” a guy said above her as she knelt down. Looking up, she noted he was tall with glasses. “Let me help you.” He started to bend down, then spilled his drink on the front of her dress.
She shrieked, on the verge of anger and tears. It wasn’t even one of those yummy-smelling drinks. Nope. This one smelled like pure alcohol. “You’re drunk. Just go sit down. I’ve got this. Really.”
“Sorry,” he said again, then stumbled off.
Val reached for her lipstick, which had rolled out of her purse. Collecting it, she stood and came face-to-face with the tall, dark, amazing man whom she’d fallen in love with this summer.
But who didn’t seem to love her back.
Fresh tears collected in the back of her throat.
“Hey,” he said, making the crowd disappear with one word.
She took a shuddery breath. “Why were you looking for me, Griffin?”
“Because I need to know something.” He took a step closer and her heart pounded in her chest. How did he have such a strong effect on her? He had since the moment they’d come together in the street at the start of the summer.
“Okay.” She blew out a breath. “What is it?” she asked, lifting her chin just slightly, very aware that she reeked of the drunk who’d spilled his drink on her a few minutes earlier.
Seemingly unaware, Griffin stepped closer. He didn’t smell like a drunk. He smelled like a ride through the country, like a cool summer’s night, like the man she loved.
She swallowed, waiting for his question.
“When are you going to stop being such a snob and talk to me again? Really talk to me.”
She lifted her gaze to meet his, narrowing her eyes. “What?”
“You heard me.” A grin stretched his sexy face. He was teasing her about the first time they’d met.
She started to push past him—he was just having fun with her and she was done having fun—but he grabbed her arm gently and waited for her to turn back.
“What I meant to say is that I’m sorry, Val. I don’t like being without you.”
She shrugged him off and continued walking out the front door. She didn’t care what he liked or what he wanted. At least she really didn’t want to care right now.
When she was outside, she stopped and waited, knowing he was following her. She heard the entry door to Heroes open and close, felt Griffin’s presence behind her. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she stood there with her back to him. “When I said we were just having fun in the video, it was because that’s all this was supposed to be. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you.”
But she had. And crap, she’d just confessed as much.
She closed her eyes as he stepped up behind her and laid his hands on her shoulders. Then he slowly turned her to face him and waited for her to open her eyes.
“Val,” he whispered. “I love you, too. So, so much. I look at you and there’s no question in my mind that I was put on this earth to love you.” He wiped one of her tears away with his finger. “I fell for you hard and fast this summer, and there’s no going back now. I don’t want to go back. Do you?”
She cried as she shook her head. She wanted to hold on to her anger, but not as much as she wanted to wrap herself in Griffin’s arms in this moment. She’d been such a fool to ever think she could let go of him at summer’s end. “No.”
“Good. So, if it’s okay with you, I’m going to kiss you now. What do they call that in romance novels? Kiss and make up?”
She laughed and nodded. Then he slowly dipped, cupping his hands behind her head and kissing her softly then with more intensity.
“I love you, too,” she whispered between kisses, clutching his shirt and pulling him to her. She’d missed the feel of him in her arms.
“Then we shouldn’t waste any more time.” He pulled back to look at her. “If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that you tell the people you love how you feel. I love you, Val,” he said. “And now that I’ve told you, I want to bring you back to my place and show you.” He reached for her hand. “I have to warn you, though. This isn’t just for tonight or the summer.”
Her heart skipped in her chest. “No?”
“No. This is for a lot longer than that. What we have is for forever, if that’s okay with you.”
She smiled, crying happy tears for the first time that day. “I like the sound of forever.”
Epilogue
Val looked out on the crowd of people collecting in the bookstore—all here to see her. Or rather Sophie Evans.
She sucked in a shaky breath, then another, trying and failing to remain calm. How was she going to read a few pages out of her new book to an audience without having a complete freak-out? People from her father’s church and the nursing home were here, as well as people from the school where Val had been a secretary until last week when she’d handed in her resignation. Against the wall stood Kat, Julie, and Allison Carmichael. The place was a full house.
Val glanced at the far exit. She could make a run for it if she wanted to. It was December and freezing cold outside. No one would follow her.
“You’re not running,” Griffin said, stepping up beside her and kissing her cheek.
She looked over. “Oh, yeah? Give me one good reason why not.”
He narrowed his gaze. “Because the Val I know is confident and headstrong. You don’t run from the things that scare you, you charge toward them.”
“I’m not scared,” she argued, even as her hands shook just a little. From the cold, she’d been telling herself. Lying to herself.
His eyebrow hooked upward.
“Okay. Maybe I’m a little terrified. But what if I start talking nonsense or throw up all over everyone?” She was laughing now, though. Those things were highly unlikely t
o happen. “I feel better now that you’re here. Thank you for coming.”
“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t miss watching the woman I love read from one of her books to an audience for the first time.”
“Well, technically I did my first book reading with the book club. They just didn’t know I was the author.” Val’s gaze went to the group of women dominating the first two rows of chairs. The group was short one person now that Alma was gone. Val’s heart ached at the memory of her lost friend. She smiled, though, as Helen waved at her from her front-row seat. Today was a good day for Helen.
And for Val.
“I can do this,” Val said.
“Yes, you can.” Griffin grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “And then we’ll go celebrate. Just you and me.”
Her heart fluttered around excitedly. “What kind of celebration do you have in mind?” she asked.
A wicked grin spread on his unshaven face. She had the urge to run her hand over the new growth of hair, over him. But first things first. Val looked out on the crowd as the clock ticked toward four P.M. Griffin gave her hand one more squeeze and then he went to sit in the empty seat beside his mother.
I can do this. I’m strong.
She’d had to be strong to make it this far. She’d thought she made it here alone, but she’d never been alone, she realized now, seeing the faces of so many of the people she loved dearly.
The door to the bookstore opened as Val started to read, and she nearly stumbled over her words. Her father walked in and stood for a long second, holding her gaze. A proud smile swept through his lips up into his cheeks and he offered a slight nod before continuing to walk into the room and sitting down. Maybe there was such a thing as Christmas miracles, because she never thought she’d see the day where her father approved of anything she did, much less writing romance. Or dating a tattooed, badass Marine.
Her heart slowed as she turned the page and kept reading. Her voice lost its initial shakiness as she settled in to the life she’d always dreamt about, which now included Griffin. When she was done reading, she set the book down and smiled at the applause filling the room. Then she sat behind a small table and signed books for the next hour, until her line disappeared, ending with Griffin.