"Well, I'm glad you came here. Jackson is brave enough to stand up to your daddy whenever he comes to see about you. And when your daddy sees the babies you will have, he'll soften right up. As attractive as you and Jackson are, you two will have beautiful youngins."
At the comment, Adeline broke out crying. Tears spilled faster than she could wipe them away. When she tried to take a breath to play off her grief, she gulped loudly instead.
Peggy Ann dropped the vegetable in her hands and stared at her wide-eyed. "What's wrong, Adeline? Why are you crying? Are you not able to have children? I'm sorry, I tend to talk too much. I didn't mean to make you cry."
When Peggy Ann patted her shoulder trying to console her, it only served to make Adeline unhappier. She wanted to keep her new friend, her husband. This life. It was so unfair how one mistake would cost her so much.
She needed to tell Peggy Ann the truth; maybe then together they could come up with a plan. No doubt, Peggy Ann would not want Adeline to remain with her husband's best friend, and she would be happy to help her leave.
With Peggy Ann's help, perhaps she could go before she hurt Jackson too badly or she became too attached. Although it was already too late for that, she couldn't deny her longing to remain.
"I made a huge mistake, Peggy Ann," Adeline sputtered. "I-I can't be with Jackson."
"What do you mean? You haven't... um, you know, slept with him?"
Adeline shook her head and her face grew hot. "I've kept him at arm's length, I'm scared."
"Oh goodness, Adeline." Peggy Ann smiled and took her hand. She led her to two weathered chairs under the shelter of the roof. She sat down opposite her and leaned forward. "There's nothing to be scared of. I'm sure Jackson will be gentle with you the first time. Although I had a crush on my Lucas since I was ten, I was terrified on our first night. He took so long to ensure I was ready, I pretty much had to force the issue." Peggy Ann laughed at the memory. "I wasn't about to allow him to keep stalling."
"It's not that..." Adeline bit her bottom lip and took a deep breath. "I am not a virgin," she blurted.
"Oh," Peggy Ann's eyes widened and she stared at Adeline with her mouth agape.
Adeline stood and turned away wiping new tears. "When Jackson realizes I'm not pure, he'll probably ask for an annulment. I don't know why I even ended up here. The truth is I didn't come to be a mail-order bride, Peggy-Ann. I was running away from someone."
"What happened?" Peggy asked, appearing to be over the shock. She guided Adeline back to the chair. "Sit down, tell me about it. I'm sorry about my reaction. You just caught me by surprise."
After sinking into the chair, Adeline wiped her wet cheeks with a handkerchief of Jackson's she kept tucked into the waistband of her skirt.
After a fortifying breath, she set her eyes on the horizon and began to speak. "I was engaged to a man named Billy Johnson. We'd been courting for almost three years, and he constantly pushed me to be intimate with him. He kept saying we'd be married soon anyway, and countless times he would remind me he had needs and he'd be forced to go to someone else if I didn't allow him. Finally one day a couple of weeks ago, I gave in. I shouldn't have, but I did. Oh, Peggy-Ann, it was a horrible experience. I knew it was a huge mistake the second it was over." Adeline took a ragged breath. "Anyway, two days later, I caught him with another woman. He was having relations with her in the barn at his brother's house while I was inside helping his sister-in-law deliver a baby."
"Well, of all the low-handed things to do," Peggy Ann exclaimed. "He is a scoundrel and a low-life good-for-nothing..."
"Yes, well," Adeline continued, "I told him I wouldn't marry him, and he hit me." She hesitated at Peggy Ann's gasp. "Not only did he slap me around, but the next day he went to my father and told him we'd been intimate. My furious father beat me horribly while Billy gloated in the background, never once stepping in to try to help me."
Adeline closed her eyes at the pain of reliving the incident. "My father was going to force me to marry Billy in a hurried wedding. In case I was pregnant. That's why I left my home."
"Oh, you poor thing," Peggy Ann took her hands and held them in a tight grip. "No wonder you ran away. How horrible." Peggy Ann stood with her fists at her waist. "It's unfair, isn't it? Women have to remain chaste until marriage, while men can flop from woman to woman without any kind of repercussions."
Adeline shook her head, and in spite of her tears, she managed a weak smile. "Flop?"
"Well, you know what I mean," Peggy Ann waved her hands. "Listen to me, Adeline. Jackson is an understanding man. If you tell him the truth, he'll understand. I'm sure of it," her new friend gave a nod to affirm her words.
"I don't know," Adeline replied. "He seems to be above reproach, the way he lives his life. He deserves better. I'm not good enough for a man like him."
"I don't believe it for an instant. Although I haven't known you long, it's been long enough to judge that you are a good person, a strong woman who will make Jackson a worthy wife. Besides, you need to let him decide," Peggy Ann scolded her.
"There's more." Adeline was determined to continue, but she looked off into the distance. "I hid in a brothel; it was the only place I figured they wouldn't find me. I helped cook and clean there, and that's all I did, until I heard my father was looking for me close by. The ladies gave me the money to purchase a ticket to come here. I owe those women my life. When Jackson finds out about all this, he'll trip over himself to send me away, and I don't blame him. I'm not worthy to be his wife."
"Jackson can be unbending at times, but he is also fair. He can't help the way he is. He was pretty much forced to grow up too soon. He began running this ranch and raising his brother when he was still so young himself."
"What happened to his mother?" Adeline asked, interested in how Jackson had become the man he was.
Peggy Ann shook her head. "It's a sad, but common story out here in the West really. Isabelle Pruitt, his momma, died during childbirth. She and the baby passed away in the cabin they used to live in." She motioned toward some hills in the distance. "Jackson's father did not deal with her death well at all -- took to drinking, even burnt down their stables in a drunken fit. He began to leave for long periods. Like I told you yesterday, lost himself in drink until the day he went away and never came back. All he did was leave a note for the boys and a lot of money in the bank." Peggy Ann sighed and continued. "Jackson wasn't but fifteen, and Heath, nine. How could any father do that to two boys who'd just lost their mother?" The woman sighed deeply and shook her head. "I tell you what -- Jackson did a great job of raising his little brother. Heath is the sheriff of Four Winds now and dotes on his older brother. They are closer than any two brothers I've ever seen."
"It's very obvious how much they care for each other; they've been through so much together. Even more reasons why he deserves someone better than me," Adeline said, her heart filled with compassion for the young Jackson and all he'd endured.
Peggy Ann frowned at her. "Now, Adeline, give him a chance. See what he says when you tell him your story. Lucas told me Jackson is already taken with you. He even said he'd like to plan a honeymoon trip for you two when they return from the cattle drive."
Her heart skipped a beat at the thought of a honeymoon. "Really?"
"Yes," Peggy Ann replied. "Now let's get these washed and stored in your larder. I've got to get home to fix supper, and you have some thinking to do. But my advice is for you to tell him everything. And do it sooner rather than later."
"You have to consummate the marriage or it's not valid." Lucas' words swam in Jackson's head -- not that he didn't already know it to be true. Yet as hard as it was to maintain his distance from the beautiful woman, he really wanted to get to know Adeline better and give her time to feel comfortable around him before he pressed the issue. At the same time, he wanted to make love to his wife, to spend long hours in bed with her in his arms for the next few days until he was forced to leave on the cattle drive. Unfortunately
, because of the drive, he didn't have the luxury of time to court her properly.
Tonight.
The thought brought an instant reaction, making him adjust his seat in the saddle. Soon he'd show his new bride what transpired between a man and a woman during intimacy. He'd tested the waters the night before by kissing her and holding her lush curves against him. She'd been responsive to his kisses, to his touch to the point of moaning. His lips curved at recalling her shocked expression when he'd kissed her goodnight before rolling over to sleep.
It had taken him a long time to fall asleep, his body more than ready to claim his wife. But he didn't want her to think badly of him for pushing her before she was ready. She deserved more than that.
Later riding toward the stables, he spotted Adeline on the porch. He waved at her, and she held up her hand in response while shading her eyes with the other. With her fiery tresses flowing in the wind, she presented a beautiful picture. He was definitely a lucky man.
Jackson prodded his steed toward the barn, although the beast needed little encouragement, expecting a meal and a long rest in his stable. After brushing his horse and settling the beast in the stable, Jackson hurried toward the cabin, anticipating spending time with his new wife.
Dinner was unhurried as both of them kept the conversation light. Jackson admired the elegant line of Adeline's neck as she set his plate before him. When the dog scratched at the front door and she started to get up, Jackson stopped her. "I'll get it. I know he shouldn't be in the house, but the dogs have been my only company for the most part."
Adeline watched as Buck settled in the corner, smart enough not to get near the dinner table. "I don't mind; he's well-behaved."
"Seems like we've always had animals in the house," Jackson told her as they began eating. "Once when Heath was about ten, he snuck a coyote pup into this room."
"What did you do?" Adeline asked leaning forward. "How did you find out?"
"The momma coyote circled the house searching for her pup. I almost shot her. Then I noticed she'd recently had a litter. Heath had gone to the stables to do some chores, so I searched his room. Found the swaddled pup and set him loose."
"Oh my, I bet he was disappointed," Adeline's smile urged one in return from him.
"Yes." The memory of his brother's tantrum made him chuckle. "What about you, ever take an animal under your wing?"
With a frown, Adeline bit her bottom lip; he thought she might not answer or perhaps he'd brought a bad memory until she smiled. "I adopted an entire rabbit family. I used to sneak food to them, until they multiplied and overtook the barns." She sighed. "I was so sad when rabbit became a regular meal at my house." They both laughed as she told him about her efforts to hide the bunnies from the cook.
After dinner, Jackson helped her clean up and as customary, he went to bathe first while she finished up.
When she slid into the bed after he lay down, Jackson turned to her again. This time he waited for her to lift her mouth to him, which she did, no doubt, expecting him to repeat the actions of the night before and wish her a goodnight.
He took her proffered mouth with his, at first with a soft kiss, but soon it became more demanding. Before long, she began to respond. Ever so slowly, he slid closer to her, the entire time tasting her, nipping at her lips, his fingertips caressing her jawline. When she wrapped her arms around his neck and began to run her fingers through his hair, he forced his trembling hands to remain on her face. He lifted his mouth away only for Adeline to moan in displeasure and tug him to her again.
Jackson wrapped his arm around her waist and tugged her free from the covers. Only the thin cotton layer of her nightgown separated them, and it was almost too much for him to restrain himself. Adeline was too involved in kissing him to seem to notice this. Still he took his time, not wanting to shock her, allowing her to get used to their proximity. He trailed kisses from her mouth to her jawline, languid soft presses of his lips to the silky skin of her throat. When she wrapped her leg around his, the invitation took the breath from his lungs.
When Jackson's hands slid down her back, pressing her to him, Adeline knew she should do something to stop the inevitable, but her traitorous body refused to cooperate, her arms twining around him, her leg wrapping over his.
What his mouth did, the soft crush of his lips on her skin lifted her until she floated on air. A fiery sensation moved to her core, it fueled the desire for Jackson to touch her more, overriding any reasonable thoughts. The urges pulsed with an overwhelming need to be closer to her husband, to feel every part of his body against her, to feel him within her.
A symphony of pleasure hummed through her when his hands finally slid under her nightgown and he began to touch her bare skin. Without moving her lips from his, she tugged at his loose-fitting breeches, pushing them down, glad when he removed them the rest of the way. He then drew her nightgown up and over her head, trailing kisses where the fabric slipped off. When she finally was able to feel the entirety of him against her, Adeline wept at how right it felt.
A gentle fluidity remained in their movements as they explored each other, in spite of the underlying fierceness of heat urging a more zealous and rapid act. They continued touching, kissing and caressing, neither of them able to pull away from the other long enough to take a full breath.
Jackson took her to pinnacles she didn't know existed. Adeline soared only to be hit by wave after wave of intense and fevered want of him. The need became so great she scratched and tugged at him until he completely took her. When they joined, it was like nothing she'd experienced before.
The moment they became husband and wife, she cried out in pleasure only to come crashing down the moment she felt Jackson's entire body tense. He paused only a moment, for he couldn't stop now, could not fight against the force of their passion, but it was long enough for Adeline to know the instant he became aware of her shame.
For a moment, she couldn't feel anything but numbness, but Jackson's movements and urgent kisses managed to draw her away from her darkest fear and take her again to a crest of ecstasy.
They made love a second time. It was as enjoyable as the first time, but more an act of heated desire and craving until both collapsed exhausted. Jackson fell asleep first, his protective arm over her, his soft breaths brushing across her face.
She watched him in the dim light of the crackling fire, through shame-filled tears sliding down her face to finally wet the pillow.
He'd not said a word afterwards, but instead he'd kissed her goodnight and promptly fallen asleep. But what about in the morning? Would he accuse her of being a whore? Of withholding information about her past? Could she tell him the truth? What if he didn't understand? What if he didn't believe her?
Fear clutched her, pressing down on her chest like a heavy rock.
Adeline continued to study her sleeping husband. His relaxed, handsome face made her smile. When unable to remain awake any longer, she pressed a soft kiss to his brow before snuggling into his warmth.
If only tomorrow would never come.
Chapter Ten
Jackson watched as the newly hired ranch hands guided the herd toward the creek running between his land and Lucas'. Lucas approached and wiped his face with the kerchief from his pocket. "I think the new ranch hand is well qualified."
"It's a good thing, because we don't have time to train any others since we're going to take them with us to Oklahoma," Jackson replied.
"Peggy Ann is glad we've decided to leave earlier to ensure our return before it gets too cold." Lucas flashed a wide smile. "I'm gonna be a daddy."
The words sunk in and Jackson held out his hand. "Congratulations."
The smile still in place, his friend met his gaze. "How about Adeline? Is she adjusting to life with you?" Lucas asked with twinkle in his eye.
Jackson left before Adeline woke the last two mornings, and he'd come home so late last night she'd barely been able to stay awake long enough to fix his plate. He'd told her to go
lie down, that she didn't have to wait for him to finish eating, but she'd remained at the kitchen table, staunchly refusing to let him clean up. There were shadows of worry under her beautiful eyes. Several times he'd caught her anxious glances from across the table while he ate. Their conversation over dinner had been stilted and forced.
Jackson knew he had to face the truth and ask her why she wasn't a virgin. Maybe she'd been married before. She could have forewarned him, made it clear before they'd been intimate. Instead she'd acted like a shy innocent. He wasn't sure what to think at this point. It wasn't like he would send her away for the transgression, but for some reason he felt betrayed by her not telling him before they were together.
He wanted to ensure she felt safe enough to talk to him. Perhaps avoiding her had not been the best way to handle the situation, but he'd been shocked, and he knew it was better for him to take time to think things over before speaking. When caught off-guard, he had a tendency to be irrational.
"Jackson? Is everything all right?" Lucas interrupted his thoughts, making him realize he'd not answered his friend's question.
"Adeline is adapting well enough. She seems to have taken well to the house and her wifely duties."
Both of Lucas' eyebrows rose high, and he hesitated as if not sure what to reply. "Well... that's good news."
Jackson made a decision. "Lucas, I need to go home. Can you handle it for the rest of the day?"
A shrill whistle from Lucas brought his and Jackson's dog to them. He signaled for them to follow the herd. "Go home, Jackson, it's your honeymoon." Lucas smiled and spurred his mount after the dogs.
Adeline jumped at the sound of a wagon approaching. Peggy Ann was not coming over today and it was too early for Jackson to return. The past two nights, he'd come home very late. She went to the window and saw her husband standing next to a wagon, his dog Buck in the back of it. What was he up to? Had he finally decided to pack her up and take her to town and get the marriage annulled? If so, she wasn't going to fight him on this. After all, it was his right to wait for a more suitable wife, the kind he'd been expecting. The sooner they got it over with the better. She glanced toward the bedroom, it wouldn't take long to get her belongings together.
Where The Four Winds Collide Page 7