Neil wondered if anyone else noticed how her hands gripped the mike stand so tightly.
Piper continued, “Giving children a home, a place where they know they will be safe, and from which they can go on to have a chance at a healthy and positive future, will make a great deal of difference to many. It may even save lives. Nandan’s House is one such point of refuge, a sanctuary, a safe haven. I have promised to make it so, but I cannot do it alone. My dear friends, together we can make a difference. So tonight, I beg of you, be generous.”
More applause. Piper flashed her internationally known smile. Francois announced that there would now be dancing, and refreshments were being served in the next room. Then he kissed the back of Piper’s hand and kept hold of it as he helped her down the steps.
The orchestra started up again and the middle of the room cleared as a few couples began dancing.
Neil watched Piper mix into the throng of gowns and tuxes, working the room. Greeting people, kissing cheeks, touching arms.
Neil was going to leave. But he wanted to talk to security first. And he would at least tell her goodbye. He hadn’t gotten that chance the last time. He elbowed his way through the crowd until he reached her.
She stopped talking the moment she saw him and included him into the circle of people with whom she’d been speaking. “Neil, this is Cassandra Moray, my friend and Desiree’s Desire model. Cass, this is Neil.”
The tall, gorgeous black woman’s eyes widened. “The Neil? Who cost you the endorsement contract with Modelle?”
“Cass!” Piper hissed.
Neil felt sucker punched. “You lost a contract because of me?”
“Dance with me,” Piper said a little too brightly as she gripped his arm and pulled him to the dance floor. She glanced behind her and caught the eye of the conductor, who immediately stopped the orchestra to change songs.
Neil took her right hand in his, put his other hand at the small of her back and swept her into a slow box step. Then he recognized the song. “Key Largo.” His throat tightened. “I’ve really messed up your life, haven’t I?”
She looked up at him. “You gave me back my brother. I’d give up a thousand endorsements for that.”
The emotion in her voice made his chest ache. He owed her the truth. “I suppose it was from some vestige of loyalty to Lyndsey that I didn’t tell you about her sending the letters. If you’d pressed charges, she could’ve ended up in prison. I’ve since heard that she’s had a breakdown and is finally getting some help.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Piper’s intense gaze set his pulse to racing. She moved her hand from his shoulder to the back of his neck and threaded her fingers through his hair. “You let your hair grow longer.”
Neil closed his eyes, reveling in her touch. His breathing quickened. How he wanted this woman. As they swayed back and forth, he moved his palm up over the soft skin of her back.
“You are my hero, you know.” Piper referenced a line of the lyrics.
He resisted the urge to call her his leading lady. If this was back to being just about gratitude, he didn’t want it. But then, why had she ordered that song? Against his better judgment, he pulled her closer. Brushed his lips against her temple and caught a whiff of her exotic scent. “I’m just a guy, Piper.”
“Could we have it all, do you think?” Piper slid her other arm around his back.
What was she really asking? Did she want to take up where they’d left off? Even if she did, he didn’t think he could survive another failed relationship. “I don’t know.” He honestly didn’t. “Your gala seems to be a big success.”
She leaned back, stared into his eyes. “Are you surprised?”
“Not a bit. I never believed you were the bad girl everyone said you were.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I can be bad when I want to be.” She lifted her chin and bit his earlobe.
He missed a step and stumbled over his own feet.
“Would you like to see what I’m not wearing under this dress?”
That was it. He stopped dancing. “Piper. What is it we’re doing here?”
“Come with me.” She took his hand and led him off the dance floor.
19
IGNORING HER RACING HEART, Piper led Neil out through a set of French doors to the stone balcony overlooking the Mediterranean. She wandered over to the marble balustrade and leaned against it, looking out at the moonlit night. A perfect night for romance.
If only Neil wanted her as she wanted him.
Stepping up beside her, he braced his forearms on the railing. She caught the scent of his musky cologne on the breeze.
To have him so close and yet have this chasm between them... It hurt. But he’d flown all the way here from America. That had to mean something. The song hadn’t had the effect she’d hoped it would. Maybe there was too much between them to make a go of it. But she wasn’t giving up without a fight.
She glanced over at him. He looked magnificent in his tux. Although she preferred him in cargo shorts and a T-shirt. He simply wasn’t a tuxedo kind of guy. That was what she was counting on. “Let’s go down to the garden.”
Nervous. Scared. Hopeful. Piper clutched her skirt and lifted the hem so that she had little trouble as she descended the stairs that wound down to a terraced, manicured garden. Glancing back to make sure he was following her, she made her way to the fountain in the center of the circular garden. The fountain was so big she’d once climbed in and frolicked around. She’d been tipsy then. And silly.
But tonight, as he stopped beside her, she very deliberately dipped her hand into the water and splashed him.
It soaked the front of his suit. “Hey, what’s the...?”
Oh, the look on his face! It was the last thing he’d expected. Laughing mischievously, she spun on her heels and rushed down the path.
“You little— Come back here!” He chased her, but it was dark, and she had the advantage of knowing where she was going. Laughing as he called out, threatening to get her, she darted off the path and raced up a hill toward the marble gazebo. As she reached it, he grabbed her around the waist and lifted her off her feet. She shrieked and he spun her around to face him. She was breathless, but he barely seemed winded. He let her slowly slide down his body. The water on his suit was cold, but his chest beneath was hot.
With a whimper she wound her arms around his neck and kissed him. Kisses that revealed to him everything stored in her heart.
He groaned, sweeping his tongue in to taste her.
She pushed him backward, and when he plopped onto a bench, she straddled his lap, desperately hiking up her skirt. His lips left kisses from along her shoulder to the tops of her breasts. Oh, the feel of his mouth on her bare skin. He cupped her breasts, caressed them while she tugged at his bow tie and slid it off.
“Piper.” He voice was strained, yearning with passion. Unzipping her gown, he eased the bodice lower, baring her nipples.
“I’ve missed you so, Neil.” Tearing his suit coat off his shoulders, she got to work unbuttoning his shirt. She needed his warm skin against hers, needed to be as close to him as possible.
He leaned back and fumbled with the zipper on his trousers; still, he was quick to free his erection, and then she was sinking onto him.
It was her turn to groan, and for a long moment neither of them moved as his mouth found hers again. For months she’d longed for this—this oneness with him. Only Neil.
She was where she’d longed to be. In his arms, his hard length inside her, his sensuous lips playing over hers. She began to rock, and he gripped her hips and encouraged her with sighs and whispers at her ear. “Yes,” she murmured in reply.
His mouth worshipped hers. She’d never felt so loved, so desired. And when he came she could feel it in every way and see it, too, in the way he til
ted his head back and the veins in his neck stood out. Watching him come took her over the edge of bliss and she cried his name, not caring who saw or heard.
Then he was placing gentle kisses on her nose and cheeks and temples and forehead until she slumped against him, happy and sated.
His fingers made lazy curlicues across her back, down her spine, inside her loosened dress.
As they sat together like that for a short while, the only sounds were their breathing and the chirping of night insects.
At last, she lifted her head from his shoulder, smiling, drawing in a deep, deep breath. “I love you.”
He frowned and shifted beneath her.
Her smile and happiness vanished in a puff of embarrassment. She clutched her gown to her breasts and scrambled off his lap.
“Piper, I—”
“Don’t.” She turned her back and struggled to get the stupid zipper up. Behind her, she heard the rustle of his trousers as he stood and then gasped.
She twisted to see that his right knee had buckled.
“You’re hurt!” she exclaimed.
“I’m fine.” But when he started to move, he limped.
She knelt and placed a palm on the knee he was favoring. She wanted to kiss it and make it better. She wanted to take care of him, as he’d taken care of her. She wanted a lifetime of them taking care of each other.
“Piper, it’s fine.” He removed her hand and she straightened.
Without limping, he retrieved his coat and tie from where they’d fallen behind the bench.
“Is that why you’re...” She waved a hand, incapable of saying the words rejecting me.
“No.” He faced her. “I’m not that self-sacrificing. And I’m not going to lie to you anymore.”
“I see.” A terrible hurt seized her chest and settled in. “I better get back. Francois will—”
“Piper, let me explain.”
“No, no. I get it. Don’t need to be hit over the head when a simple no will suffice.” She picked up her skirt to walk down the hill easier.
Neil grasped her shoulders from behind. “Hold on a second. And let. Me. Explain.”
If she struggled, she’d cry. And if she cried she’d smear her mascara. She could return to the party with her hair a little mussed, but she bloody well wasn’t going back there with mascara running down her cheeks. “I’m listening.”
“Okay.” Drawing a deep breath, he loosened his hold on her shoulders but he didn’t let her go. “About five years ago I was working at the Pentagon and fell in love with an air force pilot. However, she was in love with someone else. Looking back on it, I think my eventual marriage to Lyndsey was more about Alex’s rejection than it was about wanting Lindsay.”
Piper closed her eyes. It was like a stab in the heart to hear him admit that he’d loved someone else.
“I’ve known Lyndsey since I was a kid. Her parents were friends with my parents at the club. She and I were the same age, and we both liked chess and horseback riding. I think we were both alone a lot.” He shrugged. “We were friends.”
Piper shivered.
“Here.” He left her briefly, then returned to drape his coat over her shoulders. Sliding his arms around her waist, he drew her against him. Her back was pressed to his chest, and she covered his hands with hers.
“Over the years I’d see Lyndsey occasionally at her parents’ annual holiday party. A few years ago, I’d just turned thirty, and we were both standing around miserable.” He cleared his throat. “This next part is hard to admit.”
Piper waited.
“I was lonely. I’d convinced myself that love just wasn’t going to happen for me. And I wanted a family.”
She felt him shrug.
“Lyndsey and I had a lot in common. We had similar life goals. At least, I thought we did. Even after the blinders came off about six months in, I thought I could make it work.”
He sighed. “I was gone often—that’s the life of a SEAL—so it was easy to make excuses for the gulf I felt growing between us. Lyndsey works insane hours. I knew something wasn’t right, but even then, I never suspected—”
Piper wanted to turn around, but she sensed this was easier for him to do without facing her. She squeezed his hands encouragingly.
“I’d been overseas on an op for six months. When I got stateside I headed straight home after debriefing. It was the middle of the night, so I sneaked into the bedroom without turning on the lights. Thought maybe I’d try to talk to her about starting over. I pulled back the sheet to crawl into bed.” He blew out a harsh breath. “And my leg hit another man’s leg.”
“No...” Piper did turn into him then and caressed his cheek, but he wouldn’t meet her gaze.
“You know what she said? She said she was sorry I’d had to find out that way, but she couldn’t really be expected to be faithful to me when I was gone so much.” He grimaced. “The sad thing is, I wasn’t even that mad. I was more embarrassed than anything else.”
Piper reached up and kissed the corner of his mouth. “You deserve better, Neil. You deserve to be loved.”
He was silent a long time, and then he pierced her with a meaningful look. “You’re right. I won’t settle for less next time.”
She pulled away, stepping back. “So you doubt my love? You think I’m like Lyndsey?”
“No. Just...young. Piper, you’re so young. I’m what? A decade or so older than you? At your age you barely know what you want.”
Fury smoldered and burned off the hurt that had buried into her chest. “That’s rather insulting. You’re the one who said I’d done a lot of living in my twenty-three years. I run my own company, manage a charity foundation. That’s not something most people my age do.”
“And that’s another thing,” he continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “You have a whole life I could never be a part of, even if I wanted to, which I don’t.”
She couldn’t believe him, wouldn’t believe him. “You’re just a coward. You’ve been hurt and betrayed and so you’re afraid it will happen again. Well, welcome to life, Neil, where bad things happen and we have to get on with it.”
He clasped her shoulders, stared into her eyes. “Can you honestly see me jetting around with your millionaire friends? I want a family, Piper. Soon. Are you ready to settle down in a bungalow in Florida and raise a couple of kids with me?”
She shook him off. “Life doesn’t have to be either or.” She wanted to explain, but what would it change? She let out a resigned breath. “Be happy, Neil. You deserve everything good.”
Before she made more of a fool of herself than she already had, she turned and marched down the steps of the gazebo and along the grassy hillside. It hadn’t seemed so steep running up. But she hadn’t been blinded by tears then. And she wasn’t hearing the sound of a man chasing after her, either. Her face crumpled then and she couldn’t stop crying.
She didn’t want anyone to see her, especially not in this state. But there were good people here she needed to thank for coming. Her pity party could wait.
However, there was no going back into Francois’s ballroom until she cleaned up. She changed direction and headed for the mansion’s side entrance. There was a pool house with a restroom where she could repair her makeup and hair.
A man stepped into her path. Neil!
She looked up.
Before she could scream, a hand clamped over her mouth.
It wasn’t Neil.
20
NEIL HAD LET her go.
When what he had really wanted to do, more than anything, was to run after her.
But he knew he was right. She’d think she loved him for a while at least, and then she’d meet someone else. A guy from her high-profile world, no doubt.
He buttoned his shirt and tucked
it into his pants, slid the bow tie around the collar but left it untied and shrugged into his damp coat. He smiled. Mischievous imp, splashing him like that.
She was like no one else he knew. Strong, passionate, wicked...loving. How was a man supposed to think straight after having her in his arms, making love, hearing those three precious words? He hadn’t meant to let things go that far, though. She probably believed he’d gotten what he wanted from her. Again.
Couldn’t she understand why they were doomed to fail?
He wanted kids, and sometime before he had to attend their high school graduations using a walker. She wouldn’t want to have kids anytime soon. Couldn’t exactly model lingerie with a big pregnant belly. Although that arousing, wonderful image of Piper was now permanently etched on his brain.
Back to the point, Barrow.
Him and Piper. Not working. Somebody had to be the sensible one. The reasons it wouldn’t work far outweighed the reasons it could. Although...
Was he being a coward? Making excuses so he wouldn’t get hurt again? Was it just about trust?
She’d trusted him tonight with her heart. Even after the whole debacle with Lyndsey. That couldn’t have been easy.
But if this thing failed with Piper, then that was his third strike. She was right. He was protecting his heart. Three strikes and he’d be out. Likely, he’d be unable to recover. And not because it would be failure number three, but because that was how much he loved her.
So it was better to lose her now?
To hell with getting his heart shattered. If all they had was a year or two, then he’d deal with that when it happened. He was a class-one moron to let her go.
Cursing, he jumped off the gazebo and hit the grass running. His knee screamed in agony, but he refused to register the pain. He’d ice it later.
He could barely see her ahead of him, but he raced on. She’d already made it to the path with the rose trellis. He watched as she crossed abruptly to the left when she reached the fountain instead of continuing straight toward the main steps.
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