by H. P. Munro
“I’m not in the habit of propositioning women like that.”
Alex brought the mug of coffee up to her lips. “I should hope not,” she replied with a small smirk playing on her lips.
“I…I’m sorry,” Maddie said, raising her head slightly and giving Alex a quick glance.
“Did you mean it?” Alex put her mug down and rested her arms on the table, leaning forward towards Maddie.
Maddie looked up, her mouth opened and closed several times as she attempted to speak but, unsure how to approach the topic, remained silent. Her eyebrows furrowed as her brain rifled through the options finally, she settled on absolute honesty. “Yes,” she bit at her top lip. “I’m sorry though I would have never…had I not been,” she whirled her fingers around at her temple. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” she looked back down at her oatmeal, her appetite had vanished as her stomach churned with nerves at having this conversation.
“It’s okay,” Alex replied, stretching her hand across the table and placing it on top of Maddie’s. “I’m glad that you said it, because I’ve been sensing this…” Her hand twirled as she tried to find the right word, “connection.” Maddie looked up at the word. “Between us.”
Maddie’s eyes widened slightly at Alex’s admission, “You have?”
Alex nodded and smiled, “I have, Madeleine.” She took a breath about to say words that hadn’t left her mouth for almost a decade, “I’m gay.”
Maddie gave a soft laugh, “Snap, my marriage was to Joanna.”
Smiling Alex pulled her hand away and picked up her mug in both hands. “Ha, my vajaydar is never wrong,” she said proudly.
“Your what?”
Alex waved her hand, “A Teddyism, ignore me.”
Maddie picked up the coffee mug. “So this connection that you sensed?” she left the end of her query hanging hoping that Alex would understand the rest.
Pausing for what seemed like an eternity, Alex finally spoke, “It’s mutual, I want to do naughty things with you too.” Her tone was sad, however, and Maddie picked up on this immediately.
“It sounds like there’s a ‘but’ in there.”
Taking a deep breath, Alex finally knew what she had to do. “You are amazing. You’re gorgeous and funny and smart,” she looked into Maddie’s gentle eyes. “I like you…and it won’t take a whole lot for me to really like you, but,” she smiled as she finally said the word that Maddie had been expecting, “you are going soon and I…” she shook her head sadly, “I have been on my own for so long. I mean a long time and I really miss sex. But your bringing me coffee the other day made me realize that I’d forgotten what that was like and it made me want to not be alone anymore and then to see you sleeping in my bed today,” she paused as she reflected on the emotions she had experienced. “I sat there because I’ve forgotten what it felt like to have someone other than Jessica lying beside me. I’m sorry,” she huffed. “I used to be okay at no strings.”
“Are you saying you care enough about me not to sleep with me?” Maddie gave her a soft smile, understanding immediately the turmoil that Alex was going through, as she was sure that were they to do what she wanted, saying goodbye and leaving would become more difficult for both of them.
“Guess I’m more like Matt than I thought,” Alex forced a laugh; the falseness of it caught her throat. “Who knew.” She blinked as tears pricked her eyes, she felt foolish at their appearance and stood up to hide them from Maddie. She stood at the sink and puffed up her cheeks releasing a slow breath, her vision blurring from the tears still pooling in her eyes.
Maddie got up and walked over to her pulling the smaller woman into an embrace, “If you ever decide that you don’t like me, then I will be right here.”
Alex laughed and sniffed, resting her chin on Maddie’s shoulder, “Oh don’t worry, you will be the first to know!”
***
They drove in silence in the dark, Maddie had insisted on taking Alex out to collect her car from the Falls road. For the most part their conversation had settled back into the flirty banter that they had exchanged before their heart-to-heart in Alex’s kitchen. However, now both were lost in their thoughts. Maddie allowed her eyes to leave the road as she glanced over towards Alex.
“So how long is long?” she asked.
Alex shook her head slightly, Maddie’s voice rousing her from her thoughts, “For what?...Oh that!” She gave a chuckle as she realized what Maddie was asking, “Loooong. Since before Jessica.”
Maddie’s head shot round, the action making her swerve erratically on the empty road, “That’s…wow…seriously! But she’s what six?”
“Seven and believe me, not something I want to brag about,” Alex said out of the side of her mouth. “I did go on a couple dates a while back, but we didn’t connect in that way. So, yup, for years it’s just been me and the rabbit.”
“Buttercup?” Maddie asked confused.
Alex furrowed her brow. “What? No! Not that kind of rabbit! I haven’t reached the realms of bestiality,” she laughed.
“Oh…Ohh!” Maddie nodded as she realized what kind of rabbit Alex was referring to “Sorry,” she looked ahead at the road. “Was it tough? I mean, it’s a small town.”
Alex narrowed her eyes as she tried to concentrate on the conversation leaps, “Coming out you mean? I guess. None of my friends seemed that bothered. I realized when I was in high school and then there was the whole Charlotte Grace thing on Ruth’s mom’s bed. I don’t know if I was more angry or relieved when Matt stopped us.” She picked at the hem of her jeans as she recalled being sixteen, full of hormones and confused at the feelings she was having. “He threw her out then sat on the bed and told me that it shouldn’t be like that; a drunken fumble with someone who didn’t love me and had their own agenda. It should be with someone I loved and who loved me. See he’s not just the manwhore that he gets painted as,” she added seeing Maddie’s surprise, “and when I had the support of my friends and family the rest of the town didn’t really matter. We caused more outrage getting pregnant the way we did, but that was all forgotten when Jessica was born early. The whole town sent us messages of support.” She spotted her car where she had left it earlier in the day. “There it is,” she pointed, sad that they had reached their destination and her time with Maddie would be at an end.
Maddie pulled the Thunderbird to a halt behind Alex’s car and put the handbrake on. She left the engine running so that the headlights bathed the vehicle car in light.
“Thank you for bringing me out,” Alex said giving her a grateful smile. She opened the door and walked towards her car, as she unlocked the driver’s door she heard a door slam behind her and the sound of footsteps on the gravel. She turned and saw a slightly flushed and out of breath Maddie in front of her.
“Wha-” she never completed the word as Maddie took her cheeks in her hands and pressed her lips against hers. Immediately the kiss deepened as Alex’s back hit against the car. They kissed each other with a sense of desperation, as their hands pulled at each other to increase their contact. Alex swept her tongue between Maddie’s lips, moaning as the taller woman parted them to allow her access. They instinctively created a dance with their mouths, each woman taking control before allowing the other to dictate the pace and strength of the kiss. Finally, panting, they pulled apart, their lips still inches from each other.
“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t not know what that would feel like,” Maddie whispered, swallowing hard at the lump that had appeared in her throat.
“It’s okay,” Alex said in response, leaning forward and placing a delicate kiss on Maddie’s lips.
Pulling back Maddie gave Alex a soft smile, “I don’t want to sleep with you either.”
She walked away back towards her car leaving Alex smiling at her roundabout way of telling her that she cared about her.
Chapter Six
“Hi, I’m sorry we’re late,” Alex apologized shouting from Ruth’s hallway. She stripped
off hers and Jessica’s jackets, then picked up the box with dessert in it and headed towards the dining room. “Someone couldn’t decide what shade of pink to wear, and by someone I don’t mean me…” she stopped as she entered the room, immediately spotting Maddie sitting at the table next to Sully. “Hi,” she said breathlessly, her eyes fixed on Maddie.
“Hi,” Maddie replied, a shy smile on her lips.
The rest of the room looked at each other, feeling the tension between the two women.
“And my girl looks very pretty in pink,” Sully announced to break the silence that had developed.
“Maddie-Lyn,” Jessica cried running round the table, past her father’s outstretched arms and threw herself into the doctor’s lap.
“Hello Daddy, I love you Daddy,” Sully muttered in a joking tone. “You’re now like chopped liver to me Daddy.”
Jessica leaned over and planted a wet kiss on his cheek. “Silly Daddy, I see you all the time,” she scolded her pouting father.
Alex handed the box to Ruth. “Sorry I didn’t have time to make the usual,” she apologized taking her seat next to Teddy.
“No worries,” Ruth grinned taking the box into the kitchen, holding a hand to her stomach.
“Is that special dessert?” Lou asked, the sides of her mouth quirking into a smile as she looked over at Maddie who blushed and concentrated on Jessica.
Scowling over at her assistant, Alex gave an almost imperceptible shake of her head. “All my baking is special…Louise,” she said pointedly.
Sully looked between the two women, “She full named you. What did you just do?”
All attention was on Lou who shrunk in her seat. “Nothing, not important,” she shrugged. “I’m going to go help Ruth with the food,” she stood up and scuttled off into the kitchen.
Teddy watched Alex carefully as she surreptitiously kept an eye on Maddie whose attention was focused on the young girl sitting on her lap. She leaned over and whispered in Alex’s ear, “Your vajaydar was right, wasn’t it.”
Alex slowly turned her head to glare at her friend. “We are not going to have this conversation, not here,” she whispered in return.
“What’s with the whispering?” Sully complained, feeling left out.
“I was just saying that I thought you were starting to look old,” Teddy lied smoothly. “Alex here said you looked distinguished.”
Before Sully could respond Ruth, Lou and Peter entered the room with the meal. Peter placed the roast grandly in the center of the table, as his wife and sister-in-law put the vegetables down.
“Welcome Maddie to our regular Sunday insult session,” Ruth said gripping Teddy’s shoulders as she passed on her way to her seat.
Teddy held up her wine glass, “Welcome and, to be fair, it’s usually only Sully that we insult.”
“You insult,” Alex added. “Jessica, let Madeleine eat,” she said pushing out the seat next to her to encourage her daughter round. The girl grumbled but slipped off Maddie’s lap and crawled under the table to get to her seat.
“So Ruth, how are you keeping?” Maddie asked.
“Good, I’ve been getting some cramps the past couple of days though,” she frowned.
“Probably just Braxton-Hicks,” Maddie said, passing the potatoes on.
“Pretty sure I’ve got her CD,” Sully said grinning.
Maddie laughed, before returning her attention to Ruth, “If you want, you can come in to the surgery and I can check you over.”
“Yeah, I’ll come in tomorrow,” Ruth replied. “It’s good to have a doc back in town again,” she smiled.
As they ate dinner, the conversation flowed easily between the old friends and their new guest. Ruth and Teddy exchanged questioning glances as they caught the odd look between Maddie and Alex during the meal.
“So Maddie are you going to come with us to the bar afterwards?” Ruth asked. “We usually head down there for a couple of drinks and a game of pool.”
Before answering, Maddie looked at Alex. “I’d love to,” she replied when Alex gave her a half smile.
“I’ll go get dessert,” Alex said collecting their empty plates and disappearing into the kitchen. She had only just escaped into the kitchen when she was quickly joined by Teddy.
“Okay Milne, spill.”
Sighing Alex placed the chocolate muffins she had brought onto plates, “There’s nothing to spill.”
“Like shit there’s not,” Teddy replied, helping to dish out the muffins.
Alex stopped and looked at her friend, “The vajaydar was right, and she’s attracted to me.” She turned her attention back to the food.
“You’re not going to do anything about it though are you,” Teddy sighed.
“No I’m not,” Alex said sadly. “I like her and I could really fall for her and that scares me because then I would have to say goodbye.”
Teddy rubbed her shoulder, “Better to love and lose than not love at all.”
Alex looked deep into her friend’s eyes, “That’s bullshit and you know it Teddy, you’re no different to me. You haven’t had a relationship that’s lasted more than two weeks since Bear died. You’re terrified of loving and losing so don’t lecture me.” She bit her lip with regret at how harsh her words had come out, “I’m sorry.”
Teddy pulled her into a hug, “No, you’re right, I am full of shit. You do what’s best for you, I’ll always have your back. Although you do realize that you’re losing me money.”
“You bet on me with Ruth didn’t you?” Alex said laughing still hugging her friend.
“As soon as Ruth said she was asking questions about you,” Teddy confirmed, releasing her friend and picking up the dessert plates. Alex shook her head and followed Teddy back to the dining room.
***
The evening caught up with them quickly as they laughed and played each other at pool in Sullivan’s Bar. Not sure if she was now verging on self-harm territory, Maddie took every opportunity for any physical contact with Alex. While her head understood the reasons for them not taking their feelings further, her body was crying out to touch, and be touched.
Teddy watched, sitting beside Ruth as the two women played a flirtatious game of pool.
“They look good together,” Ruth mused. “You sure that they’re not…”
Shaking her head, Teddy took a drink from her beer bottle. “Nope, Alex doesn’t want it to be a passing through thing. Although I think that given half a chance and a change in circumstance they would be at it on that table.”
“Now that would be something I would pay for,” Sam said sitting down at the table behind them.
“Sam Hunter, you and your filthy little mind,” Ruth admonished with a half laugh. “I’m of a mind to tell your big sister on you, I’m sure Erin would have something to say about your remark.”
The mechanic gave a lazy shrug, “Pretty sure Erin would go halves with me. Besides it’s my filthy little mind that got you the doctor here in case you ever decide to have that child you’ve been lugging around for, what’s it been…like a year?”
Ruth’s eyes narrowed, “What do you mean?” She had suspected that her husband and Sam had been up to something but couldn’t get to the bottom of it. “Sam, what do you mean?” she pressed.
“I mean that you don’t need to thank me, but it was my idea not to give her the parts for the car until you give birth.”
Ruth’s mouth gaped open. “You have the parts for her car?” she asked quietly.
Sam nodded. “Have since she arrived,” he squeaked as Ruth grabbed him by the collar and dragged him up to the bar where Peter was talking to Sully.
“Tell me you haven’t,” she hissed.
Peter looked at his wife in confusion, “Haven’t what?”
She pulled Sam around so that he was standing next to him, “Tell me you haven’t listened to this halfwit and kept Maddie here when she didn’t need to be.”
Sam looked over towards the pool table where the tall doctor and Al
ex were still playing their game. “She’s hardly a hostage,” he scoffed.
“You. Are not allowed to speak,” Ruth snarled, turning back to her husband. “Him, I expect this sort of thing from,” she said pointing at Sam. “He got hit around the head a lot at school…but you!” she shook her head in disappointment. “What about you? Did you know?” she turned on Sully who was standing behind the bar.
Sully held his hands up. “Just hearing it for the first time, although I can’t say I blame him. Jessica’s only here because this town had a doc and nurse in it,” he admitted.
Ruth looked between the three men. “Fix her car. You hear me Peter Campbell? You will fix her car first thing tomorrow and let that woman get on her way. I can’t believe you two,” she rolled her eyes. “Oh for God’s sake Sam, will you be careful,” she half-bellowed.
“Whaaaat?” Sam wailed, unsure what he was in more trouble about.
“Your damn drink, you just poured it on my foot.”
Sam held up his full bottle of beer. “Haven’t spilled a drop,” he looked at her, his face scrunched in confusion.
Looking down at her feet Ruth’s shoulders slumped. “Oh crap,” she muttered. “My waters have broken.”
***
“Okay, so everything sounds fine, you’re not in labor yet, so we wait twenty-four hours and if nothing happens, then we induce,” Maddie wound her stethoscope back round her neck. “Get comfy we could be here for a while,” she pulled Ruth’s top down and covered her up with the blanket.
Peter stood beside his wife’s hospital bed. “Isn’t it dangerous for the baby?” he asked, his face creased with worry.
Maddie gave him an encouraging smile. “The risk is only slight, unless you were planning on having sex?” she asked with one eyebrow raised.
Peter looked expectantly at his wife.
“Not a hope in hell Peter Campbell,” Ruth replied nudging him with her shoulder.
Laughing, Maddie gave Ruth a pat on the arm, “I’ll just go let everyone know that they can shoot off. You stay relaxed.”
“I am,” Ruth said cheerily.
Maddie called over her shoulder as she opened the door, “I was talking to Peter!”