by Vi Keeland
He paused again searching for the right words. “Leila, I am only here for another six months or so. I’m here training for a new position. Within the next four months I should be getting my orders and find out where I will be stationed next.”
“Oh. . .” I said sadly dropping my head. “I thought you were home for good. I didn’t realize this was just a temporary stop.”
“Hey,” he said lifting my chin gently with his fingers. “I’m not going anywhere right now. It’s just me and you tonight,” he whispered as his lips caressed my lips pulling me back down onto the bed.
Chapter Eleven
I woke the next morning to find myself alone. My heart sank, was last night just a dream? I jumped out of bed racing through my apartment looking for him. There was no sign of him, he was gone. My heart was in my throat, my eyes filling with tears.
I began to replay last night in my head, and a wave of sadness fell through my body and then the reality set in that he was gone. I had lost him again. I began to gag. I ran into the bathroom and dry heaved into the toilet. I was so fucking stupid to think he was going to walk back into my life and everything was going to be as it was. I had fucked everything up four years ago, and I have fucked it up again.
I walked into my kitchen and saw the bottle of vodka and two shot glasses that had been there since last night.
“Fuck it,” I said.
I filled each of the shot glasses with the vodka and slung each shot down. I filled the glasses again and downed the next two. By the time I hit my sixth shot, I was seeing double and my anger was brewing. I stumbled into my closet to get my box of memories. I had shoved it so far back in my closet that I began throwing all the shoes that were in my way across my room. Once I recovered the box I laid on my bed curling myself up into a ball. I opened the box and began pulling the pictures out one by one.
Once the tears started I couldn’t stop them. I was crying uncontrollably to the point where I couldn’t catch my breath. I sat up in my bed and felt the room begin to spin. I closed my eyes hoping this would help, but it didn’t. I lay back down and felt my stomach begin to churn. I knew this feeling and shot out of my bed running into the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet when I started to puke my brains out. My throat was raw from puking, and my eyes were burning from crying so hard. I sat up against my tub waiting for the feeling of nausea to go away. Once my stomach began to settle I reached over into the tub and turned the water on. Still sitting on the floor, I let the room fill up with steam.
Slowly, I stood up using the toilet as support. I leaned over the sink reaching for my toothbrush, globbing on the toothpaste in hopes of getting the taste of vomit out of my mouth. Once I was done scrubbing my teeth, I took my t-shirt off and cautiously stepped into the shower.
I stood under the water letting it rain down over me. Thoughts of Garrett and I came rushing back to me, his touch, his smell, the way he kissed me. I was fighting back the tears when the nausea came back. I sat myself down in the tub pulling my knees toward my chest rocking myself back and forth while the water pounded down on me.
The next thing I remember is hearing my name being shouted.
“Leila! Leila! Jesus Christ!”
I opened my eyes trying to focus on who was talking to me. As my vision came clearer, I realized it was Garrett.
“Garrett?”
“Yeah, Babe.”
I felt myself being lifted up. I was shivering from my shower that at some point had turned ice cold.
“Jesus, you’re fucking freezing. How long have you been in there?” He said wrapping a towel around me.
“You came back,” I said softly.
“Came back? Babe, I never left. I went to get us coffee and donuts. I ran into my uncle who talked my ear off for almost an hour. What the hell were you doing?”
“I thought you left me. I woke up and you were gone,” I said sadly.
“Are you drunk?”
“No, I’m pretty sure I puked it all out.”
“Oh Babe, what did I do to you?” He said pushing my wet hair out of my face.
“I could say the same thing to you,” I replied looking down at the floor.
“Leila, look at me,” he lifted my chin with his fingers. “I’m here. I’m not leaving.”
I felt my heart skip a beat at his words.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Sorry? For what?”
“For everything. . .”
He cut me off before I could say anything else. Taking both of his hands he lifted my face and kissed me. His tongue gently caressed my tongue. My heart began to pound, and I felt my breaths become more rapid. Even though I was still chilled to the bone, I let go of my towel and let it fall to the floor. His kiss became more intense as he pulled me against his body. I began to feel that warm tingling feeling again.
I reached for the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head. His tattoos were stunning. I hadn’t really noticed them last night. Now seeing them in the light they truly were a work of art. I gently touched his chest and began tracing them with my fingers.
“I woke up and you were gone,” I said. “I thought I dreamt you last night.”
He put his hands on my hips and pulled me close to him again. “I’m not a dream, Babe. I’m here in the flesh.”
“Why, yes you are,” I said in a seductive tone. I was rubbing my hands all over his chest and stomach taking in each and every one of his tattoos.
“They are all so beautiful,” I said in awe. As I moved my hand to his rib cage my hand stopped and I took a ragged breath. “Oh. . . .”
He looked at me and then closed his eyes. He took a deep breath. “That was my first. . . It’s my favorite.”
I took my index and middle finger and began tracing it. It was the identical heart he made from barbed wire for me on our first Valentine’s Day. Inside the heart said Leila. He took my hand and put it on his chest, over his heart.
“I may have been gone, but you were always in my heart.”
He leaned over and kissed my cheek. His face felt rough from the stubble on his face. His lips moved to my mouth and then down to my breasts. He softly and tenderly sucked and nibbled on my nipples. My head fell backward with pleasure. He slowly moved me back until I reached the sink. He gripped my thighs and lifted my body up, so I was sitting on the sink. I reached down and unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down briskly, needing to feel him inside of me. I was getting wet just thinking about it. I wrapped my legs around him as he guided himself into me. Moaning, I draped my arms around his neck and started moving my hips. He leaned his head towards me and rested his chin on my shoulder.
“I love you,” he whispered in my ear.
“I love you too.”
He continued thrusting his hips pushing himself deep inside me. He began to grip my thighs tighter. I could tell he was getting close and I felt myself building. I dug my nails into his back as we exploded. His warm burst of come filled me inside. I could have made love to him all day long. He filled the emptiness that was in my heart.
“Do you mind if I take a quick shower? I didn’t take one before I went for coffee.”
“Be my guest, but I’m not sure if there is any hot water,” I said smiling.
“I’ll make it a quick one,” he said winking at me.
While he was in the shower I frantically tried to pick up all the pictures that were scattered all over my room before he could see them. Unfortunately, for me, I wasn’t quick enough.
“What’s all this?” He asked.
“Oh, it’s just some pictures,” I said nonchalantly trying to close the box quickly.
“Here you forgot one,” he said bending over to pick it up.
He flipped the picture over to see it was one of us. He had a puzzled look on his face.
“Let me see what’s in the box,” he said stepping towards me.
I look a step backwards. “I told you, it’s nothing.”
“Well if it’s nothing then
you will let me see it,” he said reaching for the box.
I held onto it for dear life, but he was too strong. He pulled it from my hands, and it fell to the floor with everything falling out.
“Leila? Is this what I think it is?” He said picking up the barbed wire heart.
Nodding my head, I felt my face become flushed.
“You still have this?” His voice in complete shock.
I didn’t know how to respond. He was either going to think this was incredibly sweet or that I am a complete psycho. I just nodded my head.
He put his arms out. “Come here.”
I practically ran into his arms and wrapped my arms around him. I couldn’t bear to let him go.
“I can’t believe you still have this,” he said while kissing the top of my head.
Keeping my head pressed up against his chest I said, “I have everything, every picture, letter, card and of course the heart. I couldn’t throw them away they were all I had left of you.”
He walked me over to the bed and instructed, “Come lay down with me for a while. You’ve had a rough morning.”
We lay in complete silence. It was so calming to feel the rhythm of his breathing. I think at one point I may have dozed off because his question startled me.
“So, what are you doing today?” He asked curiously.
“I have to go to my mom’s,” I sighed.
“You say that like it is a bad thing?” He replied.
“Well, it’s Thanksgiving . . . Do you remember how my mother was about holidays? Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t you come with me?” I said pulling myself up on my forearms and resting on his chest.
“Leila. . . I’m not sure if that is such a good idea. Plus, I have no clothes. I would have to go home and change. I live forty-five minutes from here.”
“I don’t have to be at my mom’s until five that gives us plenty of time to take a ride to your place. I would love to see it. Please don’t make me go to Mom’s alone. You know she drives me crazy.” I pleaded giving him a pouty lip and puppy dog eyes.
“Christ, you make it really hard to say no. You look so damn cute with that sad look on your face and of course that towel you are in isn’t helping either. Come here,” he said seductively kissing me passionately.
We headed to Garrett’s place about an hour and a half later. I was looking forward to spending time with him talking about everything we had missed about each other for the past few years. I told him how I had just graduated in May with an Art degree. How I’d been working with Katie since I first started college. He told me stories about the guys in his platoon and how much he misses them. His stories were far more exciting than mine were.
Before I knew it we were pulling into his apartment complex. It was a huge brick building that looked like an old abandoned warehouse. He lived on the second floor. Once we reached his door he turned to me. “It’s a mess, so don’t judge.” He smiled.
He took my hand and led me through the door. It was very industrial looking with an open plan layout. The walls were exposed brick, the windows were huge almost floor to ceiling and there were hardwood floors throughout.
“I love it,” I said in awe as I turned around in a circle taking it all in.
“Thanks, I’ve been here for a couple of months now. I’m sub-letting right now. It’s hard to find a place with a short-term lease. Come on follow me, I’ll show you my bedroom.” He winked.
“Ummm . . . I think we’re only going to have enough time for you to change and grab some clothes for tomorrow,” I said smiling.
“Tomorrow?” He asked puzzled.
“Yeah, you don’t think I am letting you go home tonight, do you?” I laughed.
“Alright give me like ten minutes.” He smiled shaking his head.
He headed to his closet, and I started looking around his room. I could definitely tell a man lived here. Not much décor. I walk to his dresser and picked up a picture. It’s a picture of me from my seventeenth birthday party. . . .
He had been so secretive the past few days. He was giving me all sorts of excuses why he couldn’t come over and see me. I would call him, and my calls would go straight to voicemail. I thought he was cheating on me. I was beginning to get really nervous.
He called me and told me to get ready because we were going out. My stomach dropped. I told him I wasn’t feeling well, and I wanted to stay home tonight. I wasn’t going to give him the opportunity to break-up with me. It was absolutely ridiculous to think that, he could’ve dumped me over the phone. I finally conceded and told him I would be ready in twenty minutes.
He showed up exactly twenty minutes later. He was acting very nervous and distant. I was now convinced I was getting dumped. I just wanted to get the night over with. I asked him “Where are you taking me?”
“You’ll see when we get there,” he said. “We will be there in a few minutes.”
We pulled into Wales Park and as we passed “our” spot I said, “Ummmm . . . I think you just passed it.”
“No, I didn’t,” he said, very distracted.
We drove about a quarter of a mile down the road and pulled into a dirt drive. He parked the car and turned it off. “Come on.”
“It’s pitch black out there!” I said in horror.
He got out of the car and started walking. I was panicked. Do I stay in the car and get killed by an ax murder or do I go with him and let him break my heart?
Finally, I jumped out of the car and walked quickly after him. “What the hell, Garrett, wait for me!” I yelled to him.
“Let’s go slow poke!” He said turning his head towards me.
I heard a strange noise in the darkness and started running towards him. I caught up and grabbed his hand. He looked down at me and gave me a smirk.
Suddenly, he yelled, “Now!”
A bunch of car headlights shone directly at us and about fifteen people yelled, “Surprise!”
I nearly had a heart attack. Garrett was laughing hysterically.
“Happy Birthday, Babe.”
I smiled while staring at the picture.
He walked up behind me wrapping his arms around me. “See, I told you I never forgot you.”
Chapter Twelve
We arrived at my Mother’s a few minutes early. Garrett had a look of concern on his face.
I touched the top of his hand. “Don’t worry. It’s going to be fine,” I said in a calm and reassuring tone.
I honestly had no clue how things were going to go, but I was a grown woman, and my mother would have to understand that I could make my own choices.
As soon as we walked in through the front door the aroma of turkey and apple pie filled my nostrils. My stomach started to growl. Garrett gripped my hand and squeezed it tight.
I looked up at him and smiled while squeezing his hand back. “Don’t be nervous, it’s not like you have never met my mother before.”
“Mom! We’re here,” I yelled.
“I’m in the kitchen, Honey!”
We walked hand in hand into the kitchen. My mom spun around happily throwing her arms out to hug me. “Happy . . . .”
The look on her face said it all. I was really hoping deep down inside she wouldn’t judge the situation before she’d heard me out. Obviously, this was not going to be the case.
“Leila. . . You didn’t tell me you were bringing . . . A guest,” she said stunned, nervously shooting a glance Garrett’s way.
“Sorry, it was kind of a last minute thing. I didn’t think I would have to, since we always have enough to feed an army,” I replied defensively.
“No, it’s fine we have plenty of food,” she said while she fidgeted with the salt and pepper shakers that sat on the counter.
“Come on grab the turkey platter and let’s eat,” she said without saying hello to Garrett.
We headed into the dining room. My mother had the place decorated like it should have been on the cover of a Pottery Barn catalogue.
“The place looks be
autiful Mrs. C,” Garrett said nervously.
“Thanks,” she said shortly.
Things were definitely very awkward. I squeezed his hand hard trying to let him know it would be ok.
As soon as we sat down my mother laid into us. “So, exactly how long have you two been back together?
“Mom, please. Not now. Can’t we just enjoy our dinner?” I pleaded.
“Well, I am wondering just how long you have been keeping this secret from me, Leila. Three weeks ago, you had locked yourself in a bathroom stall crying over him and now he’s here. So, please excuse me for being a bit confused,” she snapped glancing over at Garrett with a dirty look on her face.
“Well, if you really want to know, Mother, he showed up at Danny’s last night looking for me. Would you like to know all the gritty details?” I snapped at her.
“Spare me,” she said putting her hand up in the air. “But I am curious how long it is going to take for you to be crying and close to a nervous breakdown again,” she said not taking her eyes off Garrett.
She now directed herself to him. “You do realize it almost killed her when you left? She locked herself in her room for nearly three months. I actually had to bring food up to her room to eat.”
He was very flushed and looked angry. “She wasn’t the only one hurting. We both lost something.”
“I’m not sure how you figure you lost something. You are the one who broke her heart and took off to God knows where,” her voice was in an icy tone.
“You never told her?” He turned to me with a stunned expression on his face.
Fuck my life. What the hell was I thinking by bringing him here? I should have warned my mother.
“Answer me,” Garrett said angrily.
“No.” My eyes were welling up with tears.
He stood up. “Jesus Christ! So everyone thinks I am a cold hearted bastard who just dumped his girlfriend and took off!” He yelled.
“Garrett, please!” I cried.
“See what I mean, Leila, you are with him one day and you’re already in tears. He’s not good for you,” my mother pleaded.