“So you tell me what happened.”
“I was exhausted and couldn’t dive deep enough or stay down long enough to save Hayden. That’s what no one talks about.”
“The article said you had to be pulled from the water.”
“I...I wanted to keep searching,” she admitted. “I tried to save him. I just don’t know if I tried hard enough.”
“Stephanie, you gave it your all.”
“You weren’t there, Brody.”
“No, but I know how determined you are to take care of your brother. You don’t give up.”
She glanced down at their hands, then pulled hers away and looked out the window.
Brody knew about looking back. Nothing good came from replaying what couldn’t be changed. When he met Stephanie, something had sparked to life within him, a part he thought had died long ago.
If he determined Ted was to blame for Joshua’s injury, there would be no hope for a relationship with Stephanie. The situation would be even more impossible if Ted had marked her bedding or damaged the bridge today. Although he doubted Stephanie realized that he wanted to help Ted, his first priority was to keep her safe.
* * *
After arriving on post, Stephanie and Brody stopped at the hospital to check on Joshua. They rode the elevator to the third floor and walked together into the ICU.
“We’re here to see Private Joshua Webb.” Brody showed his CID identification to the clerk on duty.
“He won’t be able to answer questions at this time.”
“I understand. But I still need to see him.”
The clerk pointed down the hallway. “Room six. On the left.”
Stephanie inhaled a quick breath as she neared Joshua’s bedside. His eyes were closed and his face was ashen. He was hooked up to a number of machines that pumped meds and took vital signs at regular intervals.
Brody touched his shoulder. “It’s CID Special Agent Goodman. Can you hear me, Joshua?”
He nodded ever so slightly.
“Do you remember who did this to you?”
Stephanie glanced at the heart monitor. Josh’s rate increased slightly. “This isn’t a good time, Brody.”
“I need information, Stephanie. The investigation is stagnant. If Josh can identify who attacked him, we’ll be able to put that person behind bars before someone else is hurt.”
“The nurse said no questions,” she insisted.
“Actually, she said he wouldn’t be able to answer questions, but he can blink.” Brody glanced back at the patient. “I know you can hear me, Josh. If you saw the person who attacked you, blink twice. If you didn’t see anyone, blink once.”
The response was immediate. Joshua blinked twice.
“Was it someone you knew?” Brody pressed.
Once again, Josh blinked twice.
“I’m going to mention a few people. Blink if I say the name of the person who attacked you.”
Stephanie didn’t like the direction of the questioning. “Brody, you’re pushing him too hard. If he’s medicated, the blinking could be an involuntary response.”
Brody glanced at her. “What are you worried about, Stephanie?”
She couldn’t give voice to her concern that Brody’s bedside interrogation could lead to incorrect information. Information that might incriminate Ted.
“Was it Paul Massey?” Brody asked.
Joshua’s eyes remained closed.
“Brody, please.”
“Listen carefully, Joshua. Was it—”
A noise sounded behind them.
Stephanie turned to see her brother, standing in the doorway, red faced and angered. Paul stood next to him.
“You shouldn’t be here, Ted. You were upset at the marina. Don’t upset yourself more.”
Ted pushed past her to the bed and grabbed Josh’s hand. “Hey, buddy, you hold on. Keep fighting. This is just another battle like we saw in Afghanistan. You can do it.”
A nurse in scrubs entered the room. “All of you need to leave.”
“Joshua, was it—” Brody pressed.
“Sir, please.” The nurse’s voice was firm.
“Come on, Ted.” Stephanie took her brother’s arm. He jerked out of her hold and left the room, with Paul trailing close behind.
Stephanie glanced back at Brody, who followed her into the hallway. As much as he thought he was trying to help, Brody was making everything worse, for Joshua, for Ted and even for herself.
TEN
Frustrated to learn the new tires hadn’t yet arrived, Stephanie accepted a ride from Brody to work the following morning.
“I hate to put you out,” she said when he picked her up. His starched white shirt and paisley tie complemented his ruddy skin and brought out the flecks of gold in his eyes. As he held the door for her, she realized his gentlemanly manners and thoughtfulness were having an effect on her in a good way.
How easily she took to the little things he did that showed the respect he had for women. Her own father hadn’t been one to fawn over her mother, and growing up, many of the boys in town took a more chauvinistic outlook toward the fairer sex. Stephanie had to admit she enjoyed the pampered way Brody made her feel.
“Major Jenkins said you’re coming to the Warrior Transitional Battalion this afternoon to talk to some of the soldiers.”
Brody nodded. “We were firming up the details the day you called the WTB. Keeping the groups small is best, so we worked out a schedule that allows me to talk to each company individually.”
“That’s perfect. They’ll feel more comfortable in a smaller environment. Major Jenkins said you wanted to start with Ted’s company.”
“I thought the session might pull down some of the barriers he’s put up,” Brody said. “You saw how he broke down at the marina. Plus, I want the other soldiers in his unit to be aware of the signs of PTSD and know the CID is a source of help if they feel in danger or threatened in any way.”
“Just don’t single Ted out from the bunch.”
Brody’s brow furrowed. “You think I’d do that?”
She noticed a hint of disappointment in his voice. “I’m not saying you’d do anything wrong, Brody, but I want this to be a healing situation for my brother, not one that would do more harm.”
“I’ve given this class a number of times on other posts, Stephanie. You can trust me to be sensitive to everyone’s needs.”
She pulled in a deep breath and turned her gaze to the overcast sky. Brody was a strong man who stood for truth and justice. That stance could seem intimidating to some, including her brother, who had always struggled with his own self-worth.
Just so Brody, with his prying questions, didn’t seem like a threat. More than anything, she wanted him to reach out to Ted.
Brody could be such a good role model for her brother and someone Ted could look up to and try to emulate. He could use a mentor, especially since their own dad had never been a positive influence in her brother’s life.
As much as she wanted Ted and Brody to connect, she feared the session later today would give Ted more fuel to light the fire of indignation that seemed to consume him these days.
Her brother was walking a fine line between health and breakdown. His buddy Josh’s injury only compounded the situation.
Stephanie would attend the class to ensure the information Brody presented to the company didn’t hamper Ted’s progress, although she wasn’t sure getting between her brother and the CID agent would be a positive experience, either for Ted or for herself.
* * *
Brody arrived at the Warrior Transitional Battalion ahead of schedule. He had hoped to see Stephanie and spend time with her before the soldiers arrived, but she was nowhere to be found. Trying to mask his disappointment, he
arranged the chairs in the conference room and checked the thermostat on the air conditioner. He wanted the soldiers to be comfortable and receptive to the information he would provide.
Once the room was ready, the soldiers filtered in and claimed their chairs. A number of them had suffered significant injuries, including loss of limbs and scars that were hard to ignore. Brody was humbled by the sacrifice of so many who put country before self.
Some of the military personnel, both male and female, had less noticeable injuries. Theirs were the hidden wounds of trauma and the stress of living in a war zone.
Ted shuffled into the room and took a seat close to the door. Brody nodded in his direction, but the PFC averted his gaze and toyed with his smart phone.
Brody checked his watch, hoping Stephanie would be able to attend the program. A hint of concern made the hairs on his neck raise. He tried to shake off his worry and focus instead on the men and women gathered for the talk.
Major Jenkins approached, holding out his hand, which Brody accepted. “Thanks again for being with us today.”
“My pleasure, sir.” Brody looked around the room. “Do you have any idea where Stephanie Upton might be?”
“She was in her office earlier. I’m sure she’ll show up soon.”
“I’ll leave a seat for her.” Brody positioned a chair close to the door. Hearing the clip of heels, he peered into the hallway and saw her racing toward the classroom. A sense of relief swept over him.
“Sorry.” A sincere smile tugged at her lips as she hurried into the room. “I was talking to the medical case manager about one of my soldiers.”
“No problem. You’re here in plenty of time.” Brody was taken by the way her hair danced on her shoulders. The sun coming through the window accentuated the golden highlights.
The room quieted as the major walked to the microphone. He quickly provided background information about Brody, including his tours in combat and the list of his medals and awards. “We’re fortunate to have him with us today and welcome the information he will provide.”
“Thank you, Major Jenkins.” Using a PowerPoint program, Brody worked through a series of slides that provided statistics about the prevalence of PTSD, as well as warning signs and interventions.
“In addition to the symptoms we’ve talked about, any traumatic injury or experience, whether war related or not, can also lead to memory problems, such as short-term amnesia.”
He pointed around the room. “Any of you could fall victim to this disease because of your time in combat. Whether you were injured because of an IED, bullets or mortars, you’ve been wounded physically, but you’ve had a psychological trauma, too. Be alert to changes in temperament and behavior. If you know the warning signs and watch out for one another, a more serious situation could be stopped before it gets out of hand.”
Stephanie’s gaze was warm and encouraging, and the men and women in uniform seemed interested. Many of them leaned forward in their chairs and all of them listened attentively to what Brody was sharing.
“Remember, PTSD can affect anyone, whether military or civilian. Any trauma can cause PTSD and often the symptoms don’t appear until well after the event occurred. If you have PTSD, you’re not alone. More than fifty percent of our wounded warriors experience PTSD in one form or another. So don’t keep any struggle bottled up inside you. Your medical-care team is ready to help. Counselors are always available, and the CID is eager to support you, as well.”
When he finished the talk, he opened the floor for questions.
One of the men raised his hand. “What about someone who can’t sleep and wanders the barracks at night?”
“I’d say the advocate or medical-care team should be made aware of the situation so the soldier can receive the help he or she needs.”
The guy who had posed the question turned to look at Ted, who squirmed in his seat.
“Talk to him, Ted,” another soldier prompted. “Tell the special agent about the dreams you’ve been having.”
Ted’s eyes narrowed. “Hey, guys, what are you talking about?”
“You don’t have to hide it,” one of the men called out.
Ted glanced at Brody and then turned to look at Stephanie.
She started to stand. “Maybe we should—”
“Did you plan to gang up on me?” Ted demanded.
“Of course not.” Stephanie approached her brother.
He stood and pointed his finger at Brody. “You set me up for this.”
Brody moved forward. “I came here to talk about PTSD, Ted. If you’ve got some of the symptoms, you need help.”
“Help?” He flicked his gaze between Stephanie and Brody. “I don’t appreciate being the center of a witch hunt.”
“That’s not what this is,” Stephanie objected.
“Isn’t it?” He pushed past her and rushed from the room.
She turned and stared at Brody for a brief moment as if he were to blame.
He wanted to reach for her and hold her until the accusation that flashed from her eyes calmed into acceptance. Hard though it was for Stephanie to realize, she wasn’t at fault and neither was he.
Ted was struggling with issues that were too difficult for him to handle alone. His reactions today, yesterday and the day before proved how fragile he was at this time.
Stephanie’s face clouded. She blinked rapidly and then turned and hurried out of the room.
Brody had wanted to see what type of a reaction Ted would have to the information about PTSD, but he hadn’t expected everything to explode. Nor had he thought that Ted would strike out so forcefully at Stephanie.
The last thing Brody wanted was to cause her more pain. She’d had enough already.
As he watched her flee the room, memories from Brody’s past surfaced again. So painful, so raw, even after all these years. He remembered his own struggle and the counselor who had been his rock when all he could see was darkness.
Brody knew too well about PTSD and the insidious hold it had on its victims. Just like a flesh-and-blood enemy, the disease had to be combated aggressively. If only Ted would realize he needed help.
The soldiers continued to field questions, and the session concluded on a high note, for which Brody was glad. Had Ted stayed, he might have realized that the WTB, the cadre and medical-care team—and even the other soldiers—were working together for the betterment of all.
Once the military personnel had gone back to their unit, Brody gathered his notes and hurried from the classroom, determined to find Stephanie. He wanted to talk to her about Ted’s condition and what he could do to offer support and encouragement.
But recalling the way Stephanie had looked at him, Brody feared she wouldn’t want to see him now. He wasn’t sure she would ever want to see him again.
* * *
Stephanie ran after Ted, but he had disappeared by the time she got outside. Hearing the rev of an engine, she turned and saw Paul’s blue Dodge Dart leaving the WTB parking area.
Letting out a long sigh, she raked her hand through her hair. At least Ted wasn’t alone. Hopefully, Paul would be a listening ear, which Ted needed.
If only he would open up and share his pain, not only the pain from the IED explosion and war injuries, but also the pain from their mother’s death and the tragedy that had claimed Hayden’s life. The combined toll on Ted was all too evident today.
She made a mental note to notify his counselor and the other members of his care team about the hard time her brother was having. Shaking her head, she almost laughed at the understatement. Ted’s condition was far worse than she had previously thought. Why had she refused to see the truth? Perhaps because she always felt responsible for her younger brother.
The other soldiers in his unit were aware of the situation. She should have been, as well.
Shame on her.
If she had ignored the signals from Ted, no telling what she had missed from the other men.
Discouraged and wondering if she could ever be effective in her job, Stephanie headed back to her office.
Brody was waiting for her.
The warmth she saw in his gaze told her more than words. He didn’t blame her for her brother’s outburst. Nor did Brody think she had let Ted down, which was what she wanted to believe but couldn’t.
Ever since their mother had died, Stephanie had tried to fill the gaps in Ted’s life. If he failed, she considered herself at fault. Everything changed that day on the lake when she’d finally realized her brother had to take responsibility for his own actions.
Tough love, some called it. At the time, she thought she was making the best decision for Ted.
Yet nothing good had come from it. Only more pain.
Hayden had died, and she would carry the guilt of that burden for the rest of her life.
“Ted didn’t mean what he said, Stephanie.” Brody stepped closer, his voice filled with concern.
She tried to smile. “He’s so confused right now and struggling with so many issues. I thought I could help him, but I can’t seem to do anything right.”
“You love him, and that’s what he needs most.”
Brody rubbed his hand over her shoulder, his touch soothing away her frustration.
“All I want is for Ted to heal,” she finally whispered.
“Let me help you.”
Stephanie had been alone for so long. She needed someone to lean on, at least for a while. Someone who cared about her and accepted her, despite her failings.
Brody opened his arms and she stepped into his embrace. Feeling secure at long last, she rested her head on his chest and took comfort in hearing the steady beat of his heart. Her own struggle eased as if being in Brody’s arms had the power to transform the pain she carried into something whole and healed.
“I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice husky with emotion.
His breath warmed her cheek. She nestled closer, knowing the moment would pass too soon and she’d return to being an advocate for soldiers who had faced horrific traumas. She needed to be strong in order to help them. She needed to be even stronger to help Ted.
The Soldier's Sister Page 10