Saving Sebastian: A Catharsis Novel (Custos Securities Series Book 3)

by Luna, David

  GIDEON SAT AT THE TABLE wondering how he’d fucked things up so badly. The boy had practically run for the door and from the sound of his footsteps before the door had closed behind him, he had run down the stairs. Shaking his head at himself, he stood and dumped the remains of his bagel in the trash and poured out the dregs of his coffee and Sebastian’s untouched mug. He ran the conversation over in his head, still unsure what he’d said or done to have the stricken look take over the boy’s beautiful features.

  He put the dishes in the dishwasher and headed towards his bathroom to take a long shower. He couldn’t get their conversation out of his mind and knew he needed to figure out what the fuck he’d done wrong and fix it, which was easier said than done. Something was pushing him not to let Sebastian slip through his fingers.

  The boy was beautiful, his eyes haunting and the first thing he noticed. He had eyelashes for days, making his already big eyes look even bigger. His trimmed beard only highlighting the lushness of his naturally dark red lips. His hair was longer in front and fell forward into his face. It was a dark mahogany, shiny and thick, and Gideon just wanted to run his fingers through it.

  He was smaller than Gideon was used to, but more enticing as a result. It played greatly into his inner alpha Dom and his protective side. The boy had beautiful ink as well. The tattoos intriguing. He hadn’t been joking when he’d mentioned contracting with Sebastian and he hoped to fix things so that they could talk about it.

  Toweling off his hair, he heard noises coming from the other room and hurried to get himself dressed, hoping that Sebastian had come back. He headed out to the loft area, basketball shorts donned and a t-shirt in his hand. He found his brother and his husband making themselves at home in his kitchen, Braden unboxing what appeared to be some of his pastries. The hunger he thought he’d lost when Sebastian fled made itself known when his stomach protested loudly, causing Braden to smile and look his way. “Is he still here?”

  Shoulders sagging, Gideon shook his head. “No. I’m pretty sure I fucked up somehow, but I don’t know what I did.”

  Zavier turned on the electric kettle and pulled Braden’s favorite tea out of his brother’s cabinet. He got a cup ready and dug out the tea infuser, filling it with the leaves. Gideon joined them and ground some fresh beans for another cup of coffee to pair with the pain au chocolate he hoped was in the box Braden was unpacking onto some of his plates.

  Braden took the plates to the table and sat, crossing his arms over his chest and crossing his legs, settling in for what appeared to Gideon might be a dressing down. “What happened?”

  Gideon sighed and walked them both through what had happened, beginning at the part where Gideon had allowed a sleeping Sebastian to snuggle up to him. When he was done, he had to laugh at the confused look on his brother’s face and the utterly annoyed look in Braden’s.

  Zavier shrugged and said, “I dunno, man. Your guess is as good as mine.”

  Braden made a rude noise in the back of his throat. “You two are so much alike and equally clueless.”

  “Well, tell me how to fix it and I will. I gotta track down his address and go see him today. He’ll need to be interviewed by the cops, as the asshole that assaulted him is gonna get sprung if he doesn’t press charges.”

  When Braden was done explaining how he thought their conversation might have sounded to Sebastian, he felt like a total prick. The last thing he’d wanted to do was make Sebastian feel like any discussion they would have regarding a contract between them was because Roarke had basically told him Sebastian couldn’t find his own Dom, which wasn’t what had been said at all.

  He pulled Zavier aside, while Braden cleaned up the box of pastries and the plates. “I want to know everything about the one that did it and the one that got him in, down to their blood type and shoe size. The more dirt the better. If charges don’t get filed, they’ll still be dealt with.”

  Zavier readily agreed, completely on board with his request. Afterward, he saw his brother and Braden out and got changed into something more suitable. Gideon logged onto his laptop and into the club’s system to get Sebastian’s address. He was on his Harley minutes later, heading across town to the address Catharsis had on file.

  When he pulled up to the old row house that was listed as Sebastian’s residence, he paused, taking in the old, yellowish, green paint that had seen better days. The house looked like it could use some work, but the neighborhood was in an area that had begun to see some gentrification, so Gideon figured a new coat of paint would go a long way. He sighed, realizing he was using delay tactics to avoid the conversation ahead.

  He parked the bike and walked up the steps to Sebastian’s door, knocking and hoping Sebastian wasn’t going to slam it in his face. When the door opened and he got a look at Sebastian, wearing old, threadbare jeans worn low on his hips with a hole in the knee, no shoes or socks, and a fairly fitted, vintage concert tee for Echo and the Bunnymen, his mouth went dry. The boy was beautiful and he’d be kidding himself if he denied his desire to get him in a contract.

  Sebastian hadn’t realized it was him yet, he was distracted by the tiniest kittens Gideon had ever seen. One scurried past Sebastian’s feet across the door’s threshold and the other jumped comically out of the boy’s hands while he tried to juggle the furry little monster as he hopped towards the ground, like the cat was one of those slippery water snake toys that you couldn’t keep your hands on.

  The grin on Gideon’s face morphed into a full-blown laugh as Sebastian yelled after the kittens. “Slap and Tickle, get back inside!”

  He was just quick enough to glimpse the shock on the boy’s face as he bent down to retrieve one of the rebellious little fur balls. Gideon schooled his features as he handed over the kitten he’d picked up and then went back to pick up the other one that had managed to dig its nails into his pant leg and make it nearly to his knee. As he brought the tiny little ball of fur close to his face and looked into its eyes, Gideon glanced back at Sebastian and asked, “Is this one Slap or Tickle?”

  Appearing dumbfounded, Sebastian looked at the tiny kitten in Gideon’s hand and glanced back at him, murmuring, “Tickle.”

  Gideon tucked the kitten into the crook of his arm like a football and held it there, giving Sebastian a gentle, non-threatening smile. “Mind if we come in?”

  Looking a bit like he’d been cornered, Sebastian nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

  Gideon stepped into Sebastian’s home, smiling as he took in his surroundings. Feeling tiny pinpricks of pain he glanced down to see the little monster doing its level best to climb up his chest. He gently pulled the kitten away from his shirt and turned it around in his hand, nuzzling its neck against his cheek and kissing it on the head before putting it down on the floor to play with its little sibling.

  Gideon gestured to the couch in the living room to their left and asked, “Can we sit down and talk for a few minutes?”

  Sebastian, hands shaking, crossed his arms over his chest, tucking his hands into his armpits, probably thinking he could hide the tremors. Gideon stepped up to him, moving into his space, his heart squeezing when he saw the boy’s shoulders hunch. “Sebastian, have I given you reason to fear me?”

  Sebastian shook his head. “No.”

  Gideon nodded, whispering, “Boy, I’d never hurt you.” He let a small grin escape before he continued, “Unless you asked me to.”

  At that, Sebastian’s eyes shifted away from him. Heat suffusing his cheeks, he stepped back, putting some space between them as he gestured toward the living room. Gideon gave him the space he seemed to need and made himself comfortable on the couch as Sebastian sat on a chair across from him, pulling his legs up against his chest and wrapping his arms around them. “What can I do for you, Sir?”

  Seeing Sebastian’s defensive posture made what he would say next all that much more important. “I fucked up earlier, Sebastian. I wanted to apologize.”

  The surprise that appeared on the boy’s face had him w
ondering at the kind of people taking up space in Sebastian’s world. “It’s fine, Sir.”

  Gideon raised a brow at that. “It’s not. I didn’t handle things very well. I didn’t even really ask how you were feeling and if you were doing all right.”

  “I’m fine, Sir.”

  “Fine, huh? If that was the case, why did you leave the loft so fast?”

  Sebastian blushed and started pulling at the strings hanging from the hole in the knee of his jeans. “I figured we were done and wanted to get home.”

  “Try that again, boy.”

  Sebastian’s head flew up and he stilled. “What?”

  Gideon shook his head. “I said, try that again, but tell me the truth this time. Why did you leave so quickly, Sebastian?”

  Sebastian looked down at his knees and mumbled. “It doesn’t matter, Sir. I’m fine, all right? You don’t need to—”

  Gideon leaned forward, his deep tone cutting through Sebastian’s prevarications. “Boy, look at me.”

  Sebastian’s eyes popped wide as he followed Gideon’s instructions and his jaw clenched before he answered. “Yes, Sir.”

  “Why did you leave my loft so quickly?”

  “I’m not sure I want to press charges, Sir.”

  “And?”

  “I don’t want to have to drag myself through a trial where I’m attacked for what happened.”

  Gideon nodded, his voice soft when he replied, “That’s understandable. Why else did you leave?”

  Sebastian shook his head, avoiding Gideon’s gaze. “No other reason, Sir.”

  Gideon growled, low in his throat, his patience wearing thin. Sebastian was telegraphing his thoughts and feelings with his every move and Gideon was frustrated more than was probably warranted. “Get on your knees in front of me, boy.”

  Sebastian was up like a shot and kneeling in front of Gideon in record time, hands palm up on his knees, head bowed. Gideon clasped his chin and tilted it up until their eyes met. “You’ve lied to me for the last time, Sebastian. Is that understood? I can read your tells and I know when you’re not being truthful. If we move forward with a contract—”

  “I don’t want a contract with you, Sir!”

  Gideon narrowed his eyes at the boy’s outburst and tilted his head. “You’re telling the truth. Now tell me why.”

  The stubborn set to Sebastian’s jaw nearly made Gideon smile. Nearly. He kept his hold on Sebastian’s chin, which seemed to annoy him.

  Sebastian sighed, then asked, “Why does it matter, Sir? Are you going to force me into a contract?”

  Gideon kept his face impassive. “Why, boy?”

  “I don’t want a contract because you feel sorry for me, okay? Jesus, I’m humiliated enough as it is. The last thing I need or want from you is a fucking pity contract!”

  Even though Braden had come close with what he thought Sebastian might have been upset about, it still made Gideon feel like a complete bastard for not handling matters more delicately, especially after the night the boy had had. Gideon leaned forward, his features softening.

  His voice was a low murmur when he finally replied. “You have absolutely no reason to be humiliated. Do you have any idea how angry I am that you were drugged and assaulted in my house? I wanted to crush the guy and probably would have if you hadn’t needed me. Your humiliation is a form of self-blame, Sebastian, and I can’t have that. You are not at fault here.”

  When Sebastian glanced down, avoiding his gaze, Gideon gently squeezed the boy’s chin until their eyes met again. “The man that drugged and assaulted you is at fault. Hell, I’m at fault for allowing members to occasionally bring guests without thorough background checks, which is a policy I’ll be changing immediately. That man will never step foot in my club again. The man that brought him is also banned. I’m taking this shit seriously, Sebastian, and I can’t have you blaming yourself for what happened.”

  Sebastian frowned. “You’re not to blame.”

  “That’s debatable. But let’s talk about the pity contract, shall we?”

  “Look, Gideon… Sir. I appreciate your help last night. And I’ll get back to you when I decide if I’m gonna press charges. But other than that, I’m fine. I’m sure Roarke told you some sob story about how I can’t find a Dom or something. I appreciate your willingness to take one for the team, as it were, but it’s not needed.”

  “Sebastian—”

  “Sir, please? I know it might seem like it but I’m not desperate. I’d really like to retain at least a modicum amount of my dignity and self-respect.”

  Gideon narrowed his eyes, his voice deep and rough when he replied, “Are you done, boy?”

  A shudder traveled its way over the boy’s small frame. “Yes, Sir.”

  “Let me make several things perfectly clear. I don’t sign contracts out of pity. I don’t sign contracts with club subs, period.”

  Sebastian’s surprise was evident when his eyebrows nearly reached his hairline. “Then why?”

  “Roarke told me that you’re a natural submissive. That your training prior to joining was thorough and that you have great instincts. He got the impression that you’re seeking a contract but that you haven’t found a Dom you’re interested in. Hell, he’s tempted to take you on himself, but he doesn’t feel like he’d be able to ggive you the time you need, with him being the manager at Catharsis, as well as the club’s trainer. He’s been trying to figure out who to pair you with, but frankly, he doesn’t think the Doms who are free are right for you. He asked me to meet with you—”

  “Exactly! He feels sorry for—”

  “Enough, boy.”

  Gideon felt bad when his frustrated tone made the boy jump, but he was done with the interruptions. At Sebastian’s, “Yes, Sir,” he continued, “He asked me if I had the time to meet with you to see if I might have someone in mind for you or if I was interested in signing one with you myself. I have to admit that he spoke highly of you, but I didn’t think I was going to extend that offer to you until I met you.”

  “I… What?”

  Gideon shook his head. “I get the feeling you don’t understand your own appeal. You’re a stunning man, Sebastian, and you’re beautiful in your submission. But, you need to think about whether or not you want to sign a contract with me. This isn’t just about what I want, this is about what you want. I’m happy to sit down with you and discuss what I’m looking for in a submissive, but I’d like to give you time to come up with your own list of the things you need and want from a Dominant.”

  Sebastian just stared at Gideon like he didn’t understand what was being said. Besides his facial expressions and the involuntary shudder earlier, the boy hadn’t moved a millimeter since he’d knelt between Gideon’s legs. He had to admit, the boy made quite the picture. Gideon’s hands were itching to get all over him.

  He tried to reason why Sebastian had a poor opinion of himself and he couldn’t do it. There was a beauty and innocence about him that seemed untarnished in many ways. He couldn’t put a finger on it, but he knew he wanted to get to know the depths of Sebastian, find out what made him tick, find out what made him lose control, what made him squirm and come apart.

  “So, let me just ask so that we can decide if we’re moving forward. Do you have any desire to have further discussions with me about a possible D/s contract?”

  Sebastian still didn’t say a word, his eyes were still just as wide as he nodded, mutely.

  Gideon smiled and moved his thumb from Sebastian’s chin to rub it back and forth over Sebastian’s lower lip, causing the boy to suck in a surprised breath. “Words, boy.”

  “Yes, Sir. I’d like to discuss it further.”

  Gideon’s smile spread even wider. “Good. For now, I’d like to curb this discussion, give you time to sort out what you need and want. We can come back to it in several days. All right?”

  Still dazed, Sebastian nodded again. “Yes, Sir.”

  “As much as I don’t want to have to bring it up, I do
think we need to talk about the assault and pressing charges. I know you don’t remember what happened, but it’s all on video, so he can’t exactly deny the charges. Do you feel like you want to see the video?”

  When Sebastian blanched, and gave an emphatic shake of his head, Gideon held up a hand. “If you’re going to press charges, it might help to remember what happened.”

  “I… I don’t think…”

  “You have my support and the support of Custos backing you. Video proof, and by the end of the day today, proof from the lab that’s testing your sample. It would be a cut-and-dried case.”

  “I don’t want… I’m not going to press charges, Sir.”

  “Sebastian…”

  Sebastian shook his head again and looked down at his hands in his lap. Gideon could see the desire he had to move, to squirm. He didn’t. But he did look back up, directly into Gideon’s eyes, when he answered, “Sir, I work for the SFPD. And, while I’m out, and not ashamed of it, I don’t make it known that I’m part of the BDSM community. I don’t think it would negatively impact me as much as it would, say, a cop, but it’s not a theory I want to test.”

  Gideon nodded his head. “I can understand that, but if you need a guarantee that your job won’t be affected, the chief is a close family friend. I can get his assurance that it wouldn’t be an issue. You would be protected, boy.”

  Sebastian took a deep breath, as if gathering himself for a fight. When he met Gideon’s gaze again, his spine straightened. “Thank you, Sir. I appreciate that, but frankly, I don’t want to remember. I’ll be more careful going forward when drinking at the bar. It could have been much worse, I get that, but it wasn’t and I just want to call it a lesson learned. I’ve had stripes like these on my back before. They’ll heal. It’s not worth it to me to go through that.”

  “Sebastian, he drew blood.”

  “I know, Sir. But, if I had to testify, they’d destroy my character because I’m a sub. They’ll say I wanted it, deserved it even, for being at the club in the first place. I get that it’s not likely, with all the evidence, that I’d have to testify, but it might come down to that and I just don’t want to put myself through it. I’m sorry, Sir.”