TWENTY-EIGHT
Ruth
I hadn’t quite forgiven Courtney for the horrific spinning class, but the sight of him in his shorts and tight T-shirt (and not a bike in sight) made me thaw a little as I followed him into one of the rooms off reception. Six weeks had passed since my initial fitness assessment, so it was time for a follow up and I was looking forward to seeing any improvements. I felt fitter and no longer batted an eyelid at my walk to and from work when Jared wasn’t giving me a lift so I was more than a little disappointed to learn I had lost a measly two pounds.
‘How often do you use the gym?’ Courtney’s tone was conversational rather than accusing but I still felt like a naughty school girl on the wrong end of a ticking off.
‘Once or twice a week.’ More like once. My enthusiasm for the gym had waned quite quickly and my daily visits had plummeted. I attended the women-only aerobics class with perky Tahlia, spending the whole hour wanting to slap the sprightly look from her face, and while I didn’t exactly enjoy the exercise, I stuck with the class despite the annoying instructor because I could just about keep up and somehow managed to retain the ability to walk afterwards. I occasionally dipped my toe into the women’s gym but I found it dull and repetitive.
‘I’d recommend exercising three times a week to further your weight loss and increase your fitness levels.’ Courtney’s lips widened into a grin at the face I pulled. ‘It doesn’t have to be on a rowing machine or a treadmill. There are loads of classes on offer.’ I was well aware of the classes on offer. It was how I’d ended up prancing about with the lycra-clad Ms Perky every Thursday. ‘In fact, I’ve got a Zumba class starting in half an hour. Don’t pull that face, Ruth.’ He grinned again. ‘It’s fun, I promise.’
‘Hmm.’ I picked up my bag. ‘I’ll think about it.’
Jared was waiting for me in reception and responded with enthusiasm when I mentioned the Zumba class.
‘You want to go?’
‘Yeah. Why not?’
I could think of a million reasons why not, mostly my laziness and lack of co-ordination, but I kept quiet. I was there to lose weight and Zumba had to be more exciting than rowing towards a wall.
‘Fine. We’ll go.’
The class was made up of a mixture of people wearing baggy T-shirts like myself and the more serious wore lycra and vest combos. The baggies seemed to linger at the back of the room, which was where I headed, feeling safer hidden away. Jared was somewhere in the middle clothing wise, wearing loose shorts and a sleeveless T-shirt, but he stayed against the back wall with me.
The music had a strong beat that had me tapping my foot before Courtney had started the class. We began with some simple footwork and I was lulled into thinking this was a class I could actually do. Of course Courtney soon shattered that illusion by adding arm movements and more intricate footwork. I tried to keep up but I was beyond useless. It seemed the kinder option was to give up but then Courtney started clapping. Even I could clap! But then the clapping was joined by twirling and hip action and I was lost once again. Everyone in front of me was perfect, keeping up with the moves and smiling as they went. It was only when I looked to the left and right of me that I realised those at the back of the class – the baggies – were all as terrible as I was. The baggies were crap, at least five seconds behind everybody else and moving either their arms or legs but never both at the same time. I doubted any of them even knew where their hips were located never mind how to shake them. But, bizarrely, they were still smiling and laughing like the lycras.
The exception to the rule was Jared who, despite being against the back wall with us baggies, was amazing. His body moved with ease and was fluid and sexy. The sight of his muscly legs did something strange to my stomach and I had to take a couple of deep breaths before I could continue. By rights, Jared should have been at the front of the class with the lycras, perhaps even side by side with Courtney. He caught my eye and gave me a wink. Blushing at being caught ogling, I turned my attention back to Courtney who had begun to shimmy. I attempted to copy the action and he’d moved on to the next set of steps before my arse stopped wobbling.
Zumba was undoubtedly more complicated than aerobics with tricky footwork that left me in a muddle but, in the end, I found myself letting go like the rest of the baggies, flinging myself all over the place. I was nowhere near performing the correct moves but Courtney had been right when he’d said it was fun.
With two regular classes to attend per week, I took Courtney’s advice and signed up for a third. The thought of yoga appealed to me, curling up on a mat and relaxing for an hour, and I was pleased when Jared said he would join me as I would have a perfect view of his perfect bum. Such a shame he was gay!
The instructor arrived, looking as hippyish as they come, with long, straggly blonde curls, held off her face by a tie-dyed scarf. She wore an electric blue leotard with matching leggings underneath, a fringed sarong tied at her waist and her feet were bare.
‘Good evening, class. I see we have a couple of new faces. My name is Camilla and I am here to teach you yoga.’ Camilla smiled at me and Jared, her eyes crinkling in the corners as she did so. ‘Yoga is often thought to be associated with Hinduism, but yoga is actually older. The word “yoga” means to merge, join or unite.’ She placed her palms together and interlinked her long, slender fingers. ‘Yoga allows us to escape from the chaos of our lives, using breathing techniques, movement and posture, relaxation and meditation.’ She smiled at us once again. ‘Shall we begin with a warm up?’
The class wasn’t the excuse for a nap that I was expecting. My body was curved, stretched and curled into various positions but Camilla paid special attention to me, showing me time and again the positions with patience and plenty of encouragement. I left the class feeling refreshed and energised and knew I would be back the following week.
‘Shall we go for a drink?’ I linked my arm through Jared’s as we left the gym. It had become a habit to stop off at the pub after a workout for a drink or two before Jared dropped me off at home.
‘Sorry, I can’t today. It’s my sister’s birthday and I said I’d go round. Would you mind if I dropped you straight off at home?’
‘Of course not but you should have said.’ I gave Jared a playful tap on the arm. ‘You could have given yoga a miss tonight.’
Jared shook his head. ‘I enjoyed it. Camilla’s lovely, isn’t she?’
‘She is. I thought she was going to be annoying with that little speech at the beginning, but she isn’t. I actually really enjoyed it.’
We reached the car park and climbed into Jared’s car, continuing our dissection of the class. Jared admitted that he didn’t usually like to sit around doing nothing, that he didn’t like being inside his own head for too long but that he’d found the class strangely calming. I was glad Jared was getting something out of the class too. I sometimes felt incredibly selfish, dragging him to classes so I could lose weight, but I was too fond of his company to cut him free.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow then.’ I unclipped my seatbelt as Jared pulled up outside the house.
‘We should meet up for lunch. To make up for missing the pub tonight.’
‘That would be lovely.’ Heat rose from my chest, rising to my throat and cheeks, and the corners of my mouth lifted until I was grinning at Jared. I tried to smooth my lips down but it was impossible. The thought of spending time with Jared made me incredibly happy and while I could pretend it was because we were becoming good friends, deep down I knew that wasn’t the whole truth.
‘We won’t eat the rubbish from The Bonnie Dundee though.’
I shook my head, while wondering what we’d eat instead – digestive biscuits from the kitchen cupboard?
‘I’ll bring us something.’
‘Great.’ Without thinking, I leant towards Jared and pecked him on the cheek. He smelled good, freshly showered after our yoga session, and it was a wrench to pull myself away again. ‘See you tomorrow.’ I dived out
of the car before I did something stupid, like throw myself at Jared completely, and ran into the house. It was quiet inside and I assumed the house was empty as I dumped my gym kit in the wash and made a cup of coffee. It wasn’t until I was pushing the sitting room door open that I heard the low hum of the television but I was confused by the darkness. Then the door opened fully and I noticed the flickering tea lights scattered on the coffee table and my eyes roamed to the sofa, where Billy and Clare were huddled. My eyes turned to the television where a romantic comedy was playing and back to the coffee table where, among the candles, were the remnants of a meal Billy had ordered from Cosmo’s and passed off as his own.
I’d gate-crashed a romantic evening.
‘Sorry. I didn’t know you were in here. I’ll take this upstairs.’ I lifted my cup of coffee and started to back out of the room but Billy stopped me.
‘Don’t be silly. Come and watch the film with us. There’s plenty of food left in the fridge if you’re hungry. It just needs reheating.’
I turned to Clare, who I was sure didn’t want me hanging around.
‘It’s fine, really.’
The television caught my attention and I realised it was You’ve Got Mail, one of my all-time favourite films. How could I resist? ‘If you’re sure.’
Billy sat up on the sofa and patted the space beside him. ‘We’re sure.’
Jared had put together a little picnic of sandwiches, salad, mini quiches and fruit, along with a bottle of sparkling flavoured water, two plastic cups and a blanket. He whisked me off to the grass verge beside the car park and set out the blanket and food.
‘This is lovely.’ I sank onto the blanket and accepted a plastic cup before tilting my face to the warm sun. ‘Much better than The Bonnie Dundee.’
‘Anything is better than The Bonnie Dundee. It’s a hole. I don’t know how it stays in business.’
‘It’s because of us.’ I gestured at the looming grey building of H. Wood Vehicles before us. ‘I think it relies on our parties to keep it afloat. And now Kelvin’s bar bill is keeping it going.’ Kelvin was still crashing on the office floor, too stubborn and cheap to rent a room while he battled Susan for the house. It was now in my job description to ship his clothes to and from the dry cleaners, keep his supply of deodorant and shaving gel stocked up and to nip to the supermarket late each afternoon to bring him food for the evening. Kelvin spent most of his evenings in The Bonnie Dundee, spitting venom about his wife to the landlord, before stumbling back to the office and climbing into his sleeping bag. Both the office and Kelvin had an unfortunate whiff about them and even Angelina had refused to visit for their private ‘meetings’.
‘But seriously, this is lovely.’ I picked up my cup and clinked it against Jared’s, careful not to spill the contents. For the thousandth time I rued the fact that Jared was gay and that I wasn’t a supermodel. Life was beyond unfair.
‘I’m glad you like it.’ Jared smiled at me and it was fortunate that I was sitting down as I was sure my lust would have weakened my knees and sent me tumbling to the ground. Damn Jared and his love of willies.
TWENTY-NINE
Jared
Jared had never had any inclination to join a Zumba class but when Ruth suggested it, he couldn’t turn down the opportunity to spend time with her. After attempting the spinning class, Ruth had crawled back into her shell and the only class she’d consider was the women-only aerobics, which Jared couldn’t attend for obvious reasons. So when Ruth seemed almost keen to try out Zumba – more to perv on Courtney than anything, Jared suspected – he’d gone along with it and now they were taking part in their third class. Beside him, Ruth was being her adorable clumsy self and he was finding it difficult to follow Courtney’s instructions as he was too busy watching her. Her cheeks were puffed out, her hair slicked to her head with sweat and her movements were all over the place, but Jared didn’t think she’d ever looked cuter.
Jared tried to banish the thought but it was becoming increasingly difficult to deny his attraction to Ruth, particularly after their picnic lunch, which had been practically a date and all Jared’s idea. The kiss she’d given Jared in the car, though only a chaste peck on the cheek, had turned his insides to jelly and he’d feared he was going to act on his desire to kiss her properly. Luckily she’d hopped out of the car with her usual cheery wave and saved him the humiliation. It was quite clear Ruth didn’t fancy him, and quite clear she did fancy Courtney with his bulging muscles.
Jared’s jaw clenched and he had to concentrate on his breathing to calm himself down enough to loosen it. It didn’t matter if Ruth fancied Courtney. In fact, it was probably better that way because any encouragement from Ruth would only complicate things and Jared was puzzled enough as it was.
‘That was fun. I think I’m getting the hang of it.’ Ruth caught his eye as they made their way out of the class and burst out laughing.
‘You’ll get there. We’ve only been to a few classes.’ Jared didn’t want Ruth to give up on the class, more for his benefit than hers. He looked forward to the Zumba and yoga classes each week more than anything.
‘I doubt I’ll ever get there but never mind. It’s fun and I’m exercising, which is good enough for me.’ They reached the doors to the changing rooms and went their separate ways. ‘Meet you out here, yeah?’
Jared’s favourite part of their classes was the drink in the pub afterwards as they had the opportunity to chat. He showered and changed quickly before heading out to reception to wait for Ruth. She emerged looking radiant after her workout and Jared averted his gaze from the cleavage her wraparound dress showcased.
‘Pub?’ he asked and was pleased when Ruth nodded and led the way. The Bonnie Dundee was a dive but it meant that he and Ruth were never disturbed and they had the run of the juke box, even if Ruth did keep trying to convert Jared towards her preference for cheesy pop.
‘There’s nothing wrong with S Club 7. They were happy and cheerful and that’s what I want from my music. I don’t want to be miserable and heartbroken.’ Ruth and Jared returned to their table by the window after stuffing the juke box with coins and loading it with enough songs to last the evening.
‘I bet you even liked Hanson, didn’t you?’
Ruth gave a shrug of her shoulders. ‘They were alright, yeah. Although I did think the middle one was a girl for a long time. That must have confused a lot of young men at the time. Not you, obviously.’ Jared’s eyebrows bunched together but Ruth didn’t elaborate before she changed the subject. ‘We’re lucky Kelvin’s not in tonight. Can you imagine having to socialise with him outside work?’
‘I can’t imagine socialising with anybody but you from work.’
‘Not even Angelina?’ Ruth grinned at him, teasing as she knew that Angelina was still after Jared, relentless with her seduction.
‘Especially not with Angelina.’
Ruth shook her head and her freshly washed curls danced around her face. ‘Hasn’t she worked out that she’s barking up the wrong tree yet? You should just tell her.’
‘I have.’
‘You have?’ The teasing smile that had been playing on Ruth’s lips during the conversation wilted away.
‘I’ve made it quite clear, but she either doesn’t listen or doesn’t care.’
‘It’s because you’re so handsome.’ Ruth reached out to rub his cropped hair, but the smile didn’t quite return to her face. Jared wasn’t sure whether she was taking the piss or not because she obviously didn’t find him attractive, as she’d told him often enough. ‘Are you really not seeing anybody? Not even casually?’
Jared shook his head.
‘That makes two of us.’ Ruth pulled a face. ‘That’s why I’m so desperate to lose weight for the reunion. It wouldn’t be so bad showing up like this if I had a boyfriend, but I don’t.’
‘Why do you need to impress these people anyway? They sound like a bunch of tossers to me.’
Ruth took a sip of her orange juice, eyeing Jared
over the rim as she considered telling Jared about Zack. It had been the most humiliating experience of her life and the only person she’d told the whole story to was Erin. She hadn’t even told her parents why she’d had to flee so suddenly, and she’d told Stephen and Billy that Zack had been her boyfriend but he’d dumped her. Although she’d only known Jared a short time, she trusted him and so she told him everything. Her cheeks burned remembering the fake date and her eyes pooled with tears. It had happened ten years ago and yet it could have happened seconds ago.
‘He sounds like a wanker.’ Jared reached across the table and took Ruth’s hand, giving it a squeeze. ‘And you don’t need to lose weight for him. You’re beautiful as you are.’
Ruth attempted a smile. ‘That’s easy for you to say. You don’t have to see me naked.’
Jared hated to see Ruth so upset, so damaged by a teenage boy with no tact or compassion. He longed to throw out a cheeky, flirty response, to let Ruth know that he would very much like to see her naked, but the familiar barrier rose, the solid wall that he couldn’t seem to rid himself of whenever he thought of being with another woman. His words remained at the back of his throat, glued into place along with his yearnings.
‘The worst bit is I really thought I was finally being accepted. I thought I was in love with him.’ Ruth gave a bitter laugh. ‘I’ve never been in love since. Sometimes I think I’ve built up a fence around me to stop myself from falling in love so I don’t get hurt again. Does that make sense?’
‘It makes perfect sense.’
Ruth gave a small smile, feeling better that she wasn’t some sort of freak with a steel heart. ‘Have you ever been in love?’
‘Frances.’ Jared nodded as he murmured the name. It had popped out of his mouth without his permission and brought with it a searing pain through his chest. Though he thought of Frances every day, he rarely spoke about her as it was still too painful, especially with people who didn’t know her.
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