GUNNER: Lords of Carnage MC

by Daphne Loveling

  Suddenly, Cas breaks away with a groan. “You’re gonna make me lose all control like that,” he rasps, and grabs my ass to set me aside. I watch as he kicks off his jeans and sets his thick shaft free. My mouth actually waters as I shimmy my jeans off as well, my eyes never leaving him. Mesmerized, I reach out and wrap my hand around him, stroking the hot, velvety skin and moving forward to take him in my mouth.

  Cas hisses as my lips wrap around the large head. His skin is taut, and I love the way it feels against my tongue as I lick and stroke it. His fingers fist in my hair, guiding me as I slide him in and out, but I know he won’t let me keep doing this for long. I can tell just by the way he’s restraining himself. Sure enough, about thirty seconds later he pulls himself away from me, ignoring my moan of protest. Then before I even realize what’s happening, I’m on my back, and he’s on his knees in front of me.

  “Jesus Christ,” Cas groans as his head slicks against my soaking lower lips. “You’re so fucking wet for me, Jenna. You’re wet for me.”

  “Yes,” I tell him. “For your cock.” I never talked dirty before, but with Cas there’s just something about his cock that makes me want to call it that. It’s so massive, so huge. It is a cock, if ever there was one. He’s sliding the head along my pussy lips, gliding it around my clit, and my thighs tense as I angle my hips toward him. It feels fucking amazing, the heat of his skin against my wetness like that. I’m wound up tight as a rubber band, and I know he knows it. “Cas,” I urge him, and bite my lip, waiting for him to free me from the exquisite torture. “Please… I need it… Oh, God, I need you right now, just like this…”

  A low noise, almost like he’s in pain, comes from deep in his throat as I strain toward him. Then, finally, he shifts on his knees and slams deep inside me, the top of his shaft sliding against my sensitive nub. Oh, God, yes! I’m so wet I coat the length of him, so when he pulls out and slides in again, it’s slick and perfect and delicious, and he rides me, watching me as I arch my back, hard, and shatter, my channel clutching him. Cas pulls back and drives himself into me, harder, harder, filling me with his cock and prolonging my orgasm as I call out his name. Then, I literally feel him get larger inside me, and he tenses and explodes, filling me with white-hot heat as the pleasure rockets through me.

  “You’re mine,” he whispers against my ear as he holds me to him.

  “I’m yours,” I whisper back.

  22

  Cas

  “I’m yours,” she whispered, trembling in my arms.

  Her words are still echoing in my head the next day. Last night was… well, fuck. It was incredible. I still can’t quite believe that Jenna’s back in my life, let alone that I want her — or any woman, for that matter — to stay in my life.

  But one look at Jenna’s body, full and lush in the candlelight, and it’s not only lust I feel. It’s goddamn reverence. My throat almost closes up with the beauty of her. As she came shuddering in my arms, and I released myself deep inside her, all I could think about was how I couldn’t imagine not having Jenna in my life. I’d never even considered what it would be like to spend my life with a woman before. But last night, as she fell asleep in my arms, my mind was reeling with how much I’d changed in just a short time. Because of her. Because of this. Because of how right it all felt.

  I’m still thinking about all of it as I walk out of another tense club meeting with Angel today. Rocky brought another proposal to the table for the club to consider. Apparently, Abe Abbott is looking for a loan, to finance his stalled development project on the south side of town, and he came to Rock to find out if the club was willing to front him the cash.

  “Why’s he coming to us for this?” Skid barked, his face a mask of suspicion.

  “Probably because the bank won’t help him,” I said. “Pretty damn bad news if a bank won’t cough up a loan for the mayor.” Next to me, Gunner snorted.

  “How the fuck are we gonna give him a loan when we don’t have enough cash to even pay ourselves?” Brick complained. “Makes no damn sense.”

  “We got enough to do this,” Rock cut in. “We can get it, anyway.”

  “I dunno,” I said, shaking my head. “There’s been a lot of rival MC activity out there from the Iron Spiders. Seems like we could spend a lot of goddamn time and effort protecting our assets if we get involved in this shit.” I looked around the table to see a few of the brothers nodding.

  “We can handle it,” Rock growled. “The fuckin’ Spiders aren’t gonna stop me from doin’ what I want.”

  “You mean what the club wants,” Brick corrected him pointedly. “And that’s assuming we want it.”

  Rock’s face was dark as he turned to face Brick. “Yeah. What the club wants. But you fuckers have been bellyaching about new ways to make money. Well, this is what I got. And Ghost is right. If Abbott’s coming to us on this, it means the banks won’t touch him. And him coming to us means we can charge him high interest, and demand a cut of the profits from the development. It’d be steady, real money for a long, long time.”

  Things started heating up between the brothers who thought this was a good idea and the ones who wanted nothing to do with it, but still wanted money. Eventually, things got so rough that Angel called for a break, so everyone could calm the hell down before we put it to a vote.

  The two of us are standing outside in the parking lot now, having a smoke and talking about the deal before we go back into chapel.

  “I dunno, man,” Angel’s saying. “Rock’s talked to me about it a lot in the last couple days, and he keeps telling me it’s a sure thing. The way he talks about it, it makes a hell of a lot of sense. But just the fact of how hard he’s pushing makes me think he’s trying to convince himself of that. He’s got dollar signs in his eyes. I’m kind of on the fence.”

  “Look, I wanna say something,” I begin. “But I’m not sure if I’m talking to my VP or my friend here. Or to Abe Abbott’s son.”

  Angel cocks his head and frowns. “C’mon, Ghost. You know we’re friends first. More than that. We’re brothers. Family.”

  Family. Angel doesn’t know the half of it. For a moment, I realize how accurate that actually is, now that I’m with Jenna. But now’s not the time to bring that up, of course.

  A kernel of guilt starts to grow inside me, but I push it down quickly. When Jenna’s ready, we’ll tell Angel about us. And I’ll take whatever he needs to say or do to me. But for now, I have no choice but to keep it from him.

  “Okay,” I nod. “Look, this whole thing smells bad to me. Most everyone pushing for this deal has some reason for it that’s clouding their minds. Rock wants money. Your dad, well I’m guessing he wants a big something to show the community so he’ll win reelection easily against that Holloway asshole.” I took a drag on my smoke. “If you vote in favor, your dad and Rock are gonna love you. And you’re gonna be taking heat from both sides if you oppose it. Hell, you’re going to be taking heat on this either way.”

  “But you think I should,” Angel says, finishing my thought. “Oppose it, I mean.”

  “Yeah. I think you should.” I nod slowly. “But it ain’t gonna be easy.”

  We finish our cigarettes and head back inside for the vote. When we’re all seated and Rock has called us back to order, we do one final round of discussion. A few of the men take the floor and say they’re in favor of the deal with Abbott. Finally, Angel asks to speak.

  “It’s too risky,” he says bluntly. “We’re spread too thin. And like Ghost said, the Spiders’ activity in that area makes me suspicious.” I glance over at Rock while Angel’s talking, and see him staring daggers at my friend.

  “Of course you’d say that,” Brick explodes. “You’re a goddamn rich boy. You’re the son of the mayor. You’ve never had to hustle for money.”

  “Fuck you, brother,” Angel barks, rounding on him. “This fucking club is my family. My father can go fuck himself.”

  “Why the hell would Angel be against this deal if he was l
oyal to the mayor, Brick?” Gunner challenges him. “You’re talking shit.”

  “If you’re so goddamn loyal to this club, then why don’t you make a decision that actually benefits the club?” Hawk shouts, half-rising from his chair.

  “It’s not gonna benefit the club if this deal takes us down,” I say quietly.

  The argument heats up, to the point that I think it might even come to blows here in the chapel. But before it does, Rock bangs loudly on the table with his gavel.

  “Okay, enough,” roars Rock angrily. “Enough. Let’s just put this to a vote and make a decision.”

  One by one, we go around the table. In the end, Angel casts the deciding vote.

  Nay.

  The deal falls through.

  “Good luck, brother,” I mutter to him as we leave the chapel, angry silence surrounding us. “Being VP is gonna be a rough road for a while.”

  “Yeah,” he says glumly. If I stay VP.”

  23

  Jenna

  “Mommy!”

  Noah opens the door just as I’m coming down the hall to Jewel’s apartment. He runs up to me, his face all sticky with what looks like grape jam. “Jewel let me make my sandwich all by myself!”

  As we reach the apartment, Jewel appears in the doorway. She smiles indulgently down at my son and then looks at me. “He did a great job spreading the peanut butter and jelly. He even managed to cut it into squares.” Her eyes twinkle. “Well, more or less squares. More like… what are those things? Trapezoids?”

  I laugh. “I get the picture.”

  Jewel motions for me to come inside. “Watch the doorknob, though,” she warns me. “I have a feeling there’s peanut butter on it.”

  Noah runs back inside, and I follow him into Jewel’s small, tidy apartment. As always, I’m struck by how little this looks like the space lived in by an MC club bartender. Well, you’re one, too, I remind myself. People would probably find you just as unusual.

  “Have a seat,” Jewel tells me. “You want anything to drink? I’ve got iced tea. It’s so hot today.”

  It is indeed. Jewel’s got her windows wide open to try to cool her place off. There’s one small window air conditioner in the living room, but she’s told me it doesn’t work, and her landlord doesn’t seem particularly interested in fixing it.

  I sit down on her tiny love seat. Jewel calls Noah into the kitchen and I watch as she wipes off his hands and face with a wet cloth. He puts up with the cleaning impatiently, then runs over to me and bounces onto the love seat next to me.

  “It looks like you and Jewel had a good day today, bug,” I say to him.

  “Yeah! She even drawed dinosaurs for me and I colored them in!” he beams. “I made one that was you, one that was Jewel, and one that was me!”

  “Wow, so I’m a dinosaur now?” I tease him.

  “No!” he crows, rolling his eyes. “You’re a mommy!”

  Jewel comes into the room with two glasses, and hands one to me.

  “Thanks for being so great with him, Jewel,” I say as she sits down. Noah wiggles down off the couch, presumably to go get his dinosaur drawings. “I honestly don’t know what I would have done without you these last few weeks.”

  “No worries at all,” she assures me. She pulls her hair back from her face with her uninjured hand. “He really is a darling.” She looks back at him with a smile. “Like I told you, he kind of reminds me of my little brother.” She looks sad for a moment, and I find myself wondering what kind of life she left behind in Indiana, and how she ended up here.

  Jewel blinks then, and her face changes back to the bright, sunny smile she usually wears.

  I pull my wallet out of my purse, then count out some bills and hand them to her.

  “Thanks,” she smiles. “Noah seems pretty excited for preschool.”

  It’s Friday, and the last day Jewel will be watching Noah full-time. He’s starting preschool on Monday, so she’ll only be taking him a couple of afternoons a week while I’m at work.

  I sigh nervously.

  “I sure hope his excitement lasts,” I say. “He seemed to like it when we went for a visit, anyway. And I think he’s going to like his teachers.”

  “It must be strange, sending him to school for the first time,” she remarks.

  “It is,” I admit. “But he’s ready. And he needs some friends. I’ve been dragging him around from place to place for too long. He needs some stability in his life.” My heart constricts as I think about all I’ve had to put my little boy through in his short life.

  “How’s your hand, by the way?” I ask, nodding toward the bandage, which I notice is smaller today.

  “It’s okay. I mean, it’s healing fine.” She shrugs. “I figure it’ll still be a couple weeks until I’ll be able to go back to tending bar.” She sighs. “I can’t wait to be able to take a normal shower without having to put a bag around my hand to keep the water out.”

  “Gosh, I’ll bet.” Noah comes back, his outstretched hands proudly displaying his artwork. The dinosaur version of me is purple, with a long neck, tiny arms and a huge body.

  I try not to take it personally.

  “Wow, those are pretty, Noah,” I say, admiring.

  “Look!” he says proudly, holding out one of the sheets. “I made one of Cas, too!”

  It’s a fourth sheet of paper, with an outline by Jewel of a large, strong-looking dinosaur. Noah has colored it a deep blue.

  I glance quickly up at Jewel, searching her face for any reaction. “Noah asked me to draw one for him, as well. He said he was going to give it to Cas the next time he came over to your place,” she says hesitantly.

  She’s trying not to react, but it’s as plain as day that she knows what’s going on between Cas and me. Of course she does. Jewel and I have never talked about Cas one way or another, but I realize now how much Cas and I have taken her secrecy for granted.

  Reddening, I take the picture from Noah. “Uh, that’s really nice, Noah. I think Cas will really like it. Now why don’t you go get your stuff ready, okay, bug?”

  He runs off to collect his things. When he’s gone, Jewel gives me a kind look. “He’s a good guy, Cas is,” she says simply. “Any girl would be lucky to have him.”

  I freeze at first, afraid to say anything. But it seems silly to deny that there’s something going on between us. Jewel already knows, and lying to her face just seems wrong when she’s been taking care of Noah so that we could be together.

  “When I first started tending bar for the club,” she continues, “The guys were a little… rough. Before this job, I used to be a stripper.” Her eyes cloud. “I moved here from Lincolnville. There’s a strip club there. Harry’s.”

  I nod. Harry’s is kind of notorious.

  “It wasn’t a good scene. At all,” she says quietly. I didn’t want to strip anymore, so I came here, but some of the guys found out that’s where I used to work, and they were looking to… take advantage.” Jewel smiles softly. “Cas was the only one that didn’t assume I was public property just because of my past. I think he told the other guys to back off of me, too, because after the first week or so, things settled down.” She looks at me now. “I’m no prude, but I like to decide who I sleep with, you know?”

  There’s a small lump forming in my throat. As hard as my life has been sometimes, I get the feeling that Jewel’s has been much harder. “Yeah. I know.”

  She takes a deep breath and lets it out. “So anyway. Cas is one of the good ones. And he’s obviously really into you.” She quirks up her lips into a grin. “He’s hot, too. Lucky you.”

  I can’t help it. I laugh. “Yeah, he definitely has that going for him.”

  “So, are you two… you know… Are you exclusive?” Jewel’s eyes are wide and bright with curiosity.

  I shouldn’t say any more. But, truth be told, it’s kind of a relief to talk it out loud. Like it makes it more real.

  “Yes,” I admit. “For now, anyway.”

  �
��Oh, gosh!” she squeals. “That’s so exciting!”

  I grin — her enthusiasm is infectious. “We’re keeping it a secret for now, though,” I tell her.

  “Oh, sure, I gathered that,” she nods sagely. “Don’t worry, honey. Your secret’s safe with me.” She reaches over and squeezes my hand, and I can’t help but feel a wave of affection for this sweet, kind girl, who seems so innocent in spite of everything.

  Just then, Noah comes back out with his little backpack and his drawings. I take the backpack and carefully put the papers inside. “How about we take ours home, and let Jewel keep the one of her?” I suggest.

  “Okay!” Noah nods. He hands it to Jewel, who kneels down and thanks him with a hug.

  “Thanks, kiddo!” she says. “You take care, now, okay? I’ll see you next week and you can tell me all about preschool.”

  I open the door and hold it for Noah to go through. We wave goodbye to Jewel and then walk out to the car. Noah’s talking a mile a minute, which means one thing: he’s about to crash. Sure enough, I get him strapped into his seat, and by the time we’re halfway home, he’s already asleep and snoring softly. I smile at my little boy adoringly as I look at him in the rearview mirror. I’m glad Jewel fed him something, because I think he’s down for the count.

  Which means I can actually have grown-up food for dinner for a change.

  I made decent tips today at the clubhouse. Maybe I should splurge on some Chinese delivery, I think jubilantly.

  My stomach rumbles in agreement.

  24

  Jenna

  I’m contemplating the very serious choice of sesame chicken vs. salt and pepper shrimp as I park my car, hoist a sleeping Noah into my arms, and climb up the stairs to my apartment. I fumble with my keys for a few seconds, then finally unlock my door and push it open.