“Do you think Gouda’s reported us to the police?” I asked, crumpling the wrapper.
She shook her head. “He won’t be awake until noon tomorrow.”
Other than that, we were quiet. I guessed we both needed company, but neither of us wanted to talk. We just wanted to be with someone so we wouldn’t be alone.
After it got dark, we drove back to Tokyo.
Looking at her profile as she drove, I felt a peculiar connection to this girl. She wasn’t wearing any particular expression, but she looked lonely. Perhaps it was a reflection of my own state.
When the car stopped at a traffic junction, I reached for her hand that rested on the gear switch. She didn’t react. When the light turned green, I moved my hand away. She shifted gears and the car moved off.
We reached the apartment complex around nine. Half the parking lot was full now, but the original spot was still unoccupied. After she returned the yellow coupe, we went to the back of the building where I’d locked my bicycle.
“Thank you for today,” I said, undoing the chain.
“Don’t mention it,” she said. “Did you have fun?”
“I did.” It was special. Not that I ever planned to pull any stunts like that again. “I won’t ever forget it.”
She smiled. “That’s great.”
I pushed my bicycle through the gate and she walked behind. Once outside, I got onto my bicycle and looked at her. She waved goodbye.
“I know the order is mixed up, but we haven’t introduced ourselves.” I extended my hand. “I’m Ren Ishida.”
She folded her arms and averted her eyes. Feeling embarrassed, I withdrew my hand.
“You’re a good guy, Ren,” she said. “If we meet again, I’ll let you know my name.”
“So I just have to turn up here tomorrow.”
“It’s not that easy. I don’t live here.”
“Where do you live, then?”
Without answering me, she turned around and walked into the complex. I waited there until she was no longer visible. She didn’t look back.
After that day, I never saw her again. And I never told anyone about her.
“Your friend sounds like a fun person,” Seven Stars said.
I smiled. “Yeah, she was crazy.”
“Your girlfriend?”
“Nope.”
“Is she pretty?”
I tried to remember her features, but only vaguely recalled what she looked like.
“Did you like her, Mr. Ishida?” Seven Stars asked.
“Let’s just say she captured my interest. It’s not every day you find a girl who knows how to steal a car.”
She rolled her eyes.
I cleared my throat. “How long are you planning to go on stealing gum?”
“Are you suggesting I upgrade to sports cars?” she asked. “I’ll stop stealing if you ask politely.”
“Please stop stealing, Miss Rio Nakajima.”
“I wasn’t finished. Having you say that is too easy.”
I sighed. “What else do you want?”
“Buy me lunch.”
She had to be kidding. “Why should I?”
“Because you’re my teacher, and teachers should take care of their students.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“I need to change first, but let’s meet at twelve sharp at the gazebo.” She closed the drawer. “I’ll wait there until you show up.”
“Wait, I—”
Before I could raise any objection, she stood and walked out of the room. Not wanting to be there alone, I followed her out. Mr. Nakajima saw us, but he didn’t say a word about me having been in his daughter’s room. I thanked him for his hospitality and left.
Strolling around the neighborhood to pass the time, I thought about the Celica girl.
When the car had stopped at the traffic junction, a soft light had fallen onto her pale skin, highlighting her delicate features. My hand was on hers, but she didn’t say a word, nor did she look at me. She didn’t even flinch. Her body was there, but her mind wasn’t.
That night, the two of us were lonely, isolated under Tokyo’s dazzling lights.
15
All
I Ever
Wanted
Was
to Be
Happy
Seven Stars stood alone under the gazebo. She was in a white chiffon dress and espadrilles. Her hair was tied in a high ponytail, emphasizing her slender neck. This more feminine style suited her well. When she saw me, she smiled.
“What would’ve happened if I hadn’t come?” I asked.
“That wouldn’t’ve happened,” she said. “You’re not the type to break a promise.”
“I didn’t make any promises. You decided everything without asking,” I said. “So, what do you want for lunch?”
“I’ll leave it to you.”
I’d known this would happen, so I’d called Honda from a public pay phone earlier to ask for a recommendation.
“A cozy place to have lunch . . . As in, for a date?” he asked.
“Not really,” I said. The less he knew, the better. “She’s just a friend.”
“What kind of place do you have in mind?”
“Something casual? Preferably around Segayaki, and with good food.”
He thought for a moment before he said, “I do know one you should consider.”
We arrived at a Western restaurant that, according to Honda, was, “Not too crowded and serves delicious steak.” It was only a twenty-minute walk from the gazebo. Even on the weekend, the place was half-empty. Seven Stars chose a square table farthest from the other diners. We sat across from each other.
“Why do you want to sit in the corner?” I asked. It looked like we were trying to find a secluded spot. If anyone from Yotsuba saw us, they would misunderstand.
“I don’t like to have other people sitting around me,” she said. “It’s too hard to have a proper conversation. Everyone stops and listens to what others are talking about. Anyway, why do you ask? Does it matter?”
“It’s fine, as long as you’re happy.”
“I am,” she said, glancing at the menu. “What’s good here?”
“The pork rib isn’t bad; the filet mignon, too. They both come with side dishes.”
Seven Stars narrowed her eyes. “You’ve been here before?”
“No.” I was only parroting Honda.
She clasped her hands. “I’m impressed, Mr. Ishida. You did your homework, for someone reluctant to go out to lunch.”
“Just order your food,” I said.
“Since you’ve gone to such great lengths to research, I’ll let you decide.”
“You might regret that.”
“I doubt it.”
I called the waiter over and ordered the pork rib for myself and filet mignon for Seven Stars.
“How about a drink?” he asked.
I glanced at her, but she simply shrugged.
“Two glasses of water, and that will be all.”
The bespectacled waiter repeated the order back to us before disappearing into the kitchen.
Seven Stars leaned in toward me. “Mr. Ishida, why did you become a teacher at Yotsuba?”
“No particular reason,” I lied, not wanting to mention my sister. “I have no plans for after graduation, and the pay is decent for the job they offered me, so why not?”
She tilted her head. “Wasn’t there any other profession you wanted to pursue?”
I shook my head. “I wish there was.”
“Which university are you graduating from?”
“Keio.”
Her eyes widened. “You went to that prestigious of a university, and you have no plans after graduation? Not to be rude, but you’re s
uch a waste of space.”
I laughed. “You’re being rude.”
“What did you study?”
“British and American Literature.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t know what to choose, so I went with the same majors as my sister, though she didn’t continue on for a graduate degree.”
She nodded. “So you have a sister complex.”
“No, I don’t,” I protested. “I just wasn’t drawn to any particular field of study.”
“Being confused and not knowing what to do in the future, I thought that was exclusive to teenagers. But you’re already old, and you’re as clueless as I am.”
I sighed. I didn’t think being in my mid-twenties qualified me as old.
The waiter returned with two glasses of water and we stopped talking. Once he left, Seven Stars resumed the conversation.
“Last week, the school gave us a career survey,” she said. “We’re supposed to come up with three jobs we’d like to do, but I don’t know what to write. It’s still blank.”
“Do you have anything you like to do? A hobby, perhaps?”
She shook her head.
“How about a childhood dream?” I asked.
“Didn’t have any,” she said. “All I ever wanted was to be happy.”
“That’s too vague.”
“How about you? No childhood dreams?”
I regretted bringing up the subject. “I wanted to be a soccer player.”
“And what happened to the dream?”
“I’m pretty good, but not good enough to play professionally.”
“Too bad,” she said. “I was hoping I’d figure out what I wanted to do sooner or later, and then I’d be set. Now I can see that it’s not that simple.”
“I had the same problem with the career survey when I was your age. I knew I wasn’t going to make it in J-League, but there wasn’t anything else I wanted to do. I ended up consulting my sister.”
“What did she say?”
“She told me to submit some respectable professions so my teacher wouldn’t call our parents.”
“What did you write?”
“Doctor, lawyer, and engineer,” I said.
Seven Stars laughed. “Maybe I should do the same. Accountant, secretary, and social worker. What do you think?”
“I couldn’t imagine you working in an office, but I’m sure your teacher wouldn’t complain.”
She looked up at me. “What do you imagine me doing?”
“I think you’ll take an unconventional path,” I said. “Anyway, just move one step at a time. At least, that’s what I’m doing.”
She nodded, seemingly satisfied with my patchy advice. Changing the subject, she said, “I saw you with your girlfriend the other day.”
That wasn’t possible. “What?”
“You two were at a coffee shop near Yotsuba.”
I shook my head. “That woman is just a friend.”
“Is that so?” She raised her eyebrows. “You looked lovey-dovey.”
“I’m telling you, that’s not my girlfriend.”
“Fine, fine,” she said. “So you do have a girlfriend.”
“Do I have to answer that?”
“Do you have a reason not to?”
“It’s complicated right now.”
She feigned sympathy. “Aww, you’re on the verge of breaking up.”
“We’re not,” I said. “But I’d appreciate it if you stopped asking about her.”
Seven Stars looked unsatisfied with my answer. “Be honest, Mr. Ishida. How many girlfriends have you had?”
I did a quick mental calculation. “Eight, maybe.”
“What do you mean, ‘maybe’? And eight . . . that’s a lot.”
“What do you expect? I’m twenty-four.”
She tilted her head. “How many boyfriends do you think I’ve had?”
“How would I know?”
“Just guess,” she insisted.
“I don’t know.” I took a sip of the water. “You’re young, but good-looking. Maybe four or five?”
She smiled, but didn’t correct me. Instead, she continued to ask questions. “How long have you been dating your current girlfriend?”
“Around four years.”
“And what do you like about her?”
Another complicated question.
Nae was always accommodating others’ needs. She didn’t demand much, and was easy to get along with. Above all, I knew she loved me. But was I only dating her because she was nice, and had feelings for me?
“Don’t overthink it,” Seven Stars said. “What do you find most attractive about her?”
I thought about it for a moment. “Maybe her sleeping face.”
“What?”
“She has this peaceful expression when she sleeps. I feel at ease just watching her.”
“So you have a fetish for sleeping girls.”
“I doubt it,” I said. “Someone I know never woke up from her sleep.”
Her smile disappeared, and she went silent. I supposed she knew whom I was referring to. I glanced at the kitchen, wondering if our orders would be ready soon. If I’d been in Tokyo, I would have already finished my meal.
“Are you hungry, Mr. Ishida?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Then why do you keep looking at the kitchen instead of straight at me?”
“It’s a bad habit of mine,” I said. “I can’t look into the eyes of the person I’m talking to.”
“Why?”
I shrugged. “I just feel it’s rude to stare.”
“No, it’s rude not to look at whoever you’re talking to.”
“It’s not like it’s obvious I’m looking elsewhere. I would look at your hair, or the scenery behind you. Most people don’t know the difference. In fact, you’re only the second person who’s noticed.”
“Your girlfriend was the first?”
“No, it was my sister.”
A brief silence ensued before she asked, “Isn’t it hard for you to be a teacher, then? How long have you been like this?”
“I don’t know. I realized it when I was ten. Maybe it’s always been that way, but I didn’t know it before then.”
This conversation made me uneasy. Luckily, our orders arrived. The same waiter laid everything on the table. The portions were huge, and the food looked scrumptious. I cut into my pork rib, but Seven Stars didn’t touch her steak.
“Is something wrong with your dish?” I asked.
She shook her head and stared into my eyes. “Look at me. Is it that hard?”
I really didn’t want to discuss this any more. “Can you please just eat your food?”
She didn’t budge.
I had no idea what else to say, so I started cutting her steak into bite-sized pieces.
“What are you doing?” Seven Stars asked.
I didn’t look up. “Helping you cut your food.”
She laughed. “I’ll let you off this time, because I like it when people cut my food for me.”
“So you like having other people take care of you.”
“I like people who care about me,” she corrected. “Do you do this for your girlfriend?”
“Not really,” I lied.
I usually did help Nae cut her food, since she wasn’t good with Western cutlery. “I’m a chopstick person,” she had confessed. Yet for our dates, she always chose Western restaurants, because she thought they were more romantic.
“So this isn’t normal, based on your dating history,” Seven Stars said. “I must be special, then.”
“This isn’t a date,” I said sternly.
She frowned, but finally took a bite. “Mr. Ishida, apart from my parents, you’re the only person who
has ever stepped into my room.”
“Quite an honor,” I joked.
“Yes, it is. You should feel proud.”
“I’m sure you have invited one of your boyfriends over before,” I said. “Or maybe not, since your father is always around.”
“It’s not because of him. My father is easygoing. It’s just I’ve never had a boyfriend.”
I couldn’t tell if she was lying. She had no reason to make it up, really. She’d said it with a straight face, but for such a pretty girl, it was hard to believe.
“What about your friends? Surely, you’ve brought them over,” I said, already knowing that wasn’t true based on Mr. Nakajima’s remark.
She shook her head. “I don’t have any friends.”
“But I always see you arriving and leaving with your classmates.”
“Those are acquaintances, not friends.”
“There’s a difference?”
“Of course,” she said. “Acquaintances are people you know, but friends are people you can count on. It’s totally different.”
“Do you want anything else?” I asked Seven Stars after we left the restaurant.
“No.” She broke into a smile. “Thanks for the meal.”
“With this, you’ll stop stealing?”
“Yes, as promised,” she said. “Not just bubble gum, but other things, too. I’ll never, ever take anything that doesn’t belong to me again.”
“Good.”
“You believe me?”
“I don’t have a reason not to.”
“Don’t be so gullible,” she said. “That’s how people get hurt.”
I furrowed my brow. “Why are you so cynical? Distrusting everyone is a sad way to live, isn’t it?”
“Probably,” she said before we parted ways.
I thought about what she had told me, that she had no boyfriend and no friends. Some people were too beautiful for their own good. Instead of working to her advantage, perhaps her looks attracted hostility.
I imagined her living alone in her bubble-gum-filled world. In that moment, I couldn’t blame her for what she did. It might be the only way she knew how to go on, but no one could live that way forever. Not even her.
16
Rainbirds Page 11