He was thinking about what Bernadine had said and wondered how many more people thought the same way; there could be millions of them who agreed with legal euthanasia. He did see one possible hitch, though. What if someone was wrongly diagnosed or they did actually cope with their illness for many years without it progressing? Plus, if it were legalized it would have to be a well-structured law, no loop holes for blatant murder. He could understand why it wasn’t legal, if someone with mental health issues asked to be put down, they might change their mind later on. He wondered how it would work if someone like Ivan got to the point of wanting to get put to sleep, would it mean he was mentally unstable if he asked for that, considering how he thought about it now.
As he was tidying the tools and putting them into cardboard boxes, there was a knock on the garage door, and then Ivan walked in. Frank was surprised to see him in the garage; he was puzzled as to why he was here.
Ivan said, “hi Frank, I called around to have a talk with you but got no answer at the front door. I noticed the side door here was open so I figured you must be out here. There’s something I want to ask you, and perhaps talk about if you have the time.”
Frank replied, “didn’t Elsie answer the door? She’s in there, maybe she’s sleeping. I’ll go and check on her, I won’t be long.” He went inside to see Elsie sitting with a magazine on her lap with the TV going but the sound was muted. She was looking as if she had been scared by something. Frank asked, “are you all right? Has something happened?”
She looked at him with a worried expression and said, “there was a man at the front door, I didn’t know him but he went down the driveway. I wasn’t going to open the door to strangers. Where were you? Why didn’t you open the door to see who was there? There’s someone out there, Frank. You should go and have a look; he might be up to mischief.”
Frank replied, “it’s ok El, I know who’s here, it’s Ivan. So there’s nothing to be worried about, everything’s fine. Do you want the sound on the TV?”
“Oh yes, please, can you do that? I thought the TV had broken.”
Frank looked around but couldn’t see the remote control to take it off mute. “Where’s the remote, do you have it?”
“No, I don’t have anything, what do you mean?”
Frank said, “Could you stand up for a moment please, the remote usually sits next to you on the arm of your chair, let’s have a look for it.” Elsie stood up and took just a couple of steps away. Frank pulled the cushion off the chair and there it was, she had been sitting on it. He pressed the mute button hoping it would still work. It did, the sound came back on, very loud. He turned it down to a comfortable volume and placed the remote on the arm of her chair again. She was pleased with that.
Frank left her to enjoy her daytime television chat shows, which he thought were boring. He got back out to the garage and there was Ivan, looking favorably at the tools that were all lined up on the workbench looking clean and functional. Ivan was looking at the sanders, saws, and drills, both cordless and corded, and all the other bits and pieces that went with them. There were many other items also but he didn’t know what they were. Frank even had what looked like plumbing tools. He noticed there were different types and sizes of each item to be used in different ways; he thought Frank must have seriously enjoyed his timber work and other household renovations and repairs.
Frank said to him, “it’s odd that you’re here at the moment. I’ve been going through all these and tidying them up ready to give away. I thought you may know of some people who would like them. If you do, they can have them.”
Ivan was pleased to hear that and said “that’s very generous of you, but why are you doing that?”
Frank said, “I’ve had enough now Ivan, I’m not up to doing what I used to do. I don’t need them anymore, so I’ll give them to someone who needs them but maybe can’t afford to buy their own. I’m not selling them, I don’t need the money; they’re a gift to whoever needs them.”
Ivan was a little surprised, “well to be honest with you Frank, the church could do with them. We were talking just the other day about tools for the church. We have the odd problem sometimes with doors or windows or other things that don’t want to work like they should. Also we are looking at doing a tidy up around the whole building. We have a team of seven volunteers who help sort things out for us at times; they have some basic tools but not like these. So if they don’t have the tool they need for the job, they rent them, using money from their own pockets. They also help other church members who have problems in their homes but can’t afford to get them repaired. If the church owned these that would help the volunteers, who don’t get paid for what they do, but often have to spend their own money to finish a job. So if the church owned them, we could allocate them to help others. The team of volunteers would be grateful for such a blessing. That would indeed be a blessing to us all and an answer to prayer.”
“Well okay then, you can have them. I just hope that your crew knows how to use them properly. But what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”
Ivan said, “Well, I have been thinking about some of the comments you made last time we spoke. You mentioned euthanasia, for both of you. Why is it that you would even consider suicide? Would taking Elsie’s life really be for her benefit or for yours? Honestly Frank, who of the two of you is the most stressed? I don’t believe euthanasia is always for the benefit of the sick person, I think it’s often to relieve the pressure from those that are watching someone they care for getting sicker. But often the sick one isn’t the one who’s suffering the most. Elsie has nothing to worry about, she has no jobs that need doing, she’s not under any financial stress, nor are there any obligations on her. If she asked you to end her life when she was in a mentally stable condition, I could see why you would consider it, but if she’s mentally unstable, is it really her asking you to do it? Of course there are other problems like paraplegia, which isn’t too bad, or quadriplegia which I’m sure would be very awful for those who have it. But people like Elsie who are sick, but aren’t always aware they are sick aren’t really suffering. She’s not even in pain with all the medication she’s on. So perhaps it’s you who is suffering the most, watching her go through these times of confusion, and as she’s pulling away from you, it’s you who may feel like ending it for you both. But does she really want that? In the medical state she’s in now how would you even know what she really wants? So really, would you be doing it for her sake or for yours?”
Frank was silent a moment then responded, “I hear you. I know why you’re asking these questions. But as you can see, I’m still standing here; neither of us is dead so I’ve not done anything yet. It was just a thought that I mentioned to you, I’m not too serious about it. I’m just looking at the options that have been placed before me. Is it mercy or murder? It really needs to be looked at carefully. The medical profession would have a different opinion from the general public, as the law would have also, and I know the church would have a strong opinion. So it’s just a thought at this time, no need to bother about it, it’s not likely to happen anytime soon.”
That sounded good to Ivan, but he wasn’t sure if he believed it or not, here was Frank giving away all his tools. He wondered if Frank was preparing to end it all. They organized a time when Frank would drop the tools down at the church and then Ivan left to continue his rounds, checking on other troubled people to see if they were all right.
When Ivan had left, Frank felt slightly agitated, which was generally the way he felt lately after Ivan had spoken to him. It was as if his soul was in a battle. He wondered if Ivan really was sharing God’s thoughts about what was happening in their lives, perhaps Ivan really was in touch with God. Frank knew he really did need to decide soon which side of the fence he was on. He was a member of a church, but didn’t really know if God was real or not. Part of him couldn’t be bothered with religious law; but another part of him didn’t want to be on the wrong side of the fence once he died.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Frank was sitting at the dining room table feeling bored and restless, Elsie was being taken care of, and the house was tidy so there was nothing he needed to do. It was Janine’s first work time here, she was going take care of Elsie and look around the house to see how things were. This was not a permanent position; it was a one off so that Janine could see what was needed to be done and to see how Elsie was while in her own home. Also to see how Elsie reacted to having Janine in their home, and getting personal with her care. They would decide later if she was going to be a regular here or not. Frank had decided to actually act on the advice had been given so had arranged for Janine to come. He decided to go to the Over 65s club and spend some time, getting to know the other members. Without having to worry about Elsie, he could do what he wanted while he was there. Having a care-giver here was releasing some of the stress off him; the stress on him had been getting more severe lately. So he was now more at ease and felt like a burden had been lifted off him. He felt like he had a temporary release from his burden.
He got ready to leave, then told Janine he was going out, he would be back home before she left at one o’clock. The drive to the club was easy, he was feeling a lot more relaxed so wasn’t as concerned about the traffic as he had been.
As he got out of his car, he noticed a woman standing by the entrance looking at him. He recognized her as an ex co-worker from many years ago. As he approached she smiled and greeted him, “hello, I’m Tracy, remember me? This is my first time here, do you come here often?”
Frank thought she looked fit and healthy. “Hi, yes, I remember you. I only come here occasionally; I’m not a regular here. Have you been in?”
“No, not yet, I just got here a few minutes ago, I saw you drive in.”
Frank said, “Well, come through then, you’ll need to give your name to Irene so she knows who you are.”
They walked in together and Frank saw Irene and introduced her. “Hello Irene, this is Tracy.” Irene wondered where Elsie was, and why Frank had arrived with Tracy.
As Irene was talking with Tracy, Frank went through and headed for the games table. He sat opposite a man who was sitting with a chess board in front of him already set up ready to play. The board and pieces looked very impressive which had caught Frank’s attention. Frank wasn’t a regular chess player but he knew how to play. His last game of chess was over twenty years ago, but he was up for a game now.
He said to the man sitting there, “hello I’m Frank, do you need a challenger?”
The man answered “hi, I’m Norman,” he then smiled and said in a humorous tone, “but normally Norman is Norm. Call me Norm. Yes, I’d like a game, you up for it?”
They began casually talking as the game started, Frank was pleased he’d come here. The game progressed at a slow pace, which Frank liked. He asked Norm about the pieces. “What are these pieces made of? They seem solid and they’re really detailed.”
Norm said, “they’re handcrafted bone. Not mass produced like the modern ones. This is a real chess set, like they should be.”
Frank was thinking of life and the obstacles he had to face at times while he was playing. He wasn’t overly serious or in-depth with his thoughts, it was just as he removed his opponent’s pieces from the board he lightheartedly thought how sometimes in life we are confronted with a problem, we can remove the problem if we know how to play the game. And with other pieces, he thought, how if we move, we won’t get taken out. He was pleased he had some time to himself now, his problem wasn’t Elsie. The stress he’d been experiencing had been brought on himself by not getting help in their home sooner.
As the game was coming to an end, Tracy came over to where they were playing and sat in the chair beside him. The chairs weren’t very close to each other so he didn’t react at all; he knew someone had sat there but didn’t bother looking to see who it was.
After just a few more moves he heard it, Norm said, “checkmate!”
Frank had enjoyed the game and didn’t mind losing, not being a regular player he thought he had done well to have the game last as long as it did.
Norm then started packing up the chess set into a handcrafted wooden case. “I need to go now, thanks for the game. This set is mine; I don’t play with the cheap plastic ones. I take this set with me when I want a game; I’ve had it for about thirty-five years. It was a present from my father, it used to be his. We can play again sometime if you’re up for it. Bye”
As Norm walked off, heading for the exit, Tracy spoke to Frank. “So, is this what happens here, we all just sit around playing games, or talking, or reading. I see some painters over there, but I’m not interested in that. I notice you’re here on your own. You still married, or divorced or widowed now?”
Frank replied, “I’m still married but my wife Elsie isn’t well, she has Alzheimer’s so sometimes she doesn’t like meeting new people or going out now. She also has osteoporosis so she can’t do what she used to do. She was once very active but she’s not now. She just reads magazines or watches TV. Not long ago she got hit by a car and that caused a few problems for us, she had her leg broken and her head thumped the road. But she’s over that now. It’s really just the Alzheimer’s that’s the problem. The osteoporosis wasn’t really any major issue, but things have gotten worse for her now.”
Tracy looked at him and smiled then said, “That’s a shame, Alzheimer’s is fatal. Do you own your own home or lease an apartment somewhere?”
Frank wasn’t sure why she asked that but replied, “we own our own home; we live not far from here. We aren’t the sort of people to live in apartments. Elsie loved her gardens and I liked doing things around the house. What about yourself, what’s your story?” Although he remembered her they only worked for the same firm, they were never close friends. Frank thought getting to know people is what you do here.
She said, “I live not far from here, I’ve moved in with my daughter and her husband. But it’s a bit hectic with the grandchildren there as well. I’d like to live somewhere else. My husband died of a heart attack two years ago. He was a heavy smoker and loved his fatty foods, and his bourbon. I just turned sixty-five four months ago. How old are you?”
“I’m seventy-eight, but I’m still healthy. I gave up overly fatty foods when I had a cholesterol problem; it was the right thing to do. I’m still alive and well, so I’m glad I was given food advice. I don’t take medications now because I don’t need them. But I was getting regular check-ups just to make sure I was doing okay, although I haven’t had one for a while”
Tracy looked thoughtful as she said, “you know Alzheimer’s will kill your wife eventually, and probably get her taken into full-time care. Why not deal with it yourself? It would nicer for her to die in her own home than in a care-home or hospital bed. I think we should be allowed to end the suffering of those we love. I believe in euthanasia, I wouldn’t want it for myself but I think others should be allowed to do it if they think it’s necessary. I’ve had a good idea, want to hear it?”
Frank thought how yet again here was a healthy person talking of death for the sick when she herself didn’t have to deal with it. It seemed easy for people who weren’t involved to talk of death for others. He was interested in what her idea may be but he wondered what her motives were, so he said, “yes, say what you’re thinking, what’s on your mind?”
She seemed very thoughtful, “will you take me to your home to meet Elsie? I do have a good idea, but I need to meet her before I talk to you about it. It’s for her sake as well as yours. Do you want to do that? It would be beneficial for you both.”
He looked at the clock; there was enough time to do that so he agreed. “Okay, but we need to go now, if you’re ready, let’s go.” It was turning into a fun day out.
Tracy was indeed ready; this was just what she had hoped for. There was another reason why she had come to the club. It wasn’t just about having something to do, she wanted to meet someone.
> As they were leaving the club, Frank glanced around at the people who were there. Most of them seemed to be very normal people; he thought he might start spending more time here. He noticed Bernadine sitting with a few of the club members having a discussion; she sat slightly apart from them as if she was the chairwoman of a meeting. He didn’t want to get involved with that again. The drive to his home was pleasant since he had someone with him who was able to engage in conversation, and who didn’t need to be scrutinized regarding their mood or behavior.
As they approached his home, Tracy seemed to be excited. She said, “this is a nice neighborhood, I love these homes. They all have gardens and the houses are all clean and tidy, much nicer than where I live.” She liked what she saw.
After parking the car and taking her inside via the back door, he introduced her to Janine who was busy doing some tidying in the bathroom. She had given Elsie a bath and after cleaning all the surfaces, she was wiping them with disinfectant. Frank was pleased but surprised she was doing that. He hadn’t thought of doing any of that type of cleaning. To him cleaning was just about what he could see, like doing dishes, washing clothes, and vacuuming floors. He didn’t get overly particular about it.
Elsie was in the living room watching the TV. Frank noticed how well kept she looked and how her hair had been tidied. That was not something he would have ever done for her, it was not his way of thinking to brush her hair or trim her nails and such like. Even what she was wearing was appropriate and she looked good. Frank was pleased with how she looked and how the whole house had a clean, fresh aroma to it.
He said to her, “hi El, you look good, how are you?”
Goodnight, Elsie Page 13