by Hines, Jerri
Upstairs, Cullen opened the door to the suite, keeping the door open long enough for Hugh to enter. Hugh hustled in, ignoring Cullen. He flung the packages down on the sofa, except for the bouquet of flowers, yellow roses.
“I know you have missed your flowers.” Hugh spoke to Josephine as if he had known her all his life.
Her eyes softened upon the sight and accepted them. Her head bent down and took in a deep breath. The fragrance seemed to invigorate her. “Thank you.”
Cullen stood to the side. Why the hell did it bother him so that Hugh had brought her flowers? Why the hell couldn’t he act as Hugh? To make her believe she was as she was before they threw her into that hellhole. He watched as his irritation grew.
* * * *
Night had fallen. Hugh had long left, as had the doctor who Cullen had called. Biting off the end of the cigar, Cullen took a deep breath and lit it. Blowing out smoke, he stared out the window at the lights of Washington.
Again he waited.
Tomorrow…tomorrow his father was arriving with his son.
Was she sleeping, he wondered. The doctor had recommended an extended rest. “Physically, she should recover with rest and food.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means she needs her children. That was all she kept saying.”
Deep in thought, he didn’t hear the door open behind him.
“Cullen?”
He turned. For a moment, he was taken back in time. Her raven hair, washed and combed out, hung down below her waist; her face soft in the night light. She had changed to a fresh nightgown that Hugh had bought for her. Another shortcoming he had failed in.
The white nightgown silhouetted her figure underneath. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. God, he was in bad shape, for he wanted her. He must be a sick man.
He pulled the cigar out of his mouth. “Yes,” he said curtly. “The doctor left something if you couldn’t sleep.”
She shook her head as she moved across the room. “We haven’t talked…” She hesitated. “I know how you feel.” She shook her head at him before he could deny anything. “Don’t. I really don’t feel like debating or arguing. My one concern is my children. I need to know what you plan to do about Percival.”
“You aren’t wasting time denying he’s mine now?”
Her eyes met his. “Don’t go there. Wade is his father. He gave him his name, an honorable name. Don’t take that away to hurt me.”
“He’s mine,” Cullen replied forcibly. “Do you know how I feel being denied that fact? Do you know what it feels like to have a child and not be able to acknowledge him?”
“I have had a long time to think.” She sat down on the sofa. Her eyes locked on his. “What did you want me to do? Tell me? What could I have done differently to alleviate your pride, your hurt, your pain?” Her look prompted a blunt reply.
“You should have come with me. If not immediately, I would have come back for you.”
Her eyes flared, the first response he had seen from her.
“How dare you? How dare you?” she repeated, fuming. The room fell into silence, deadly silence. Finally, she questioned, “Have you not thought once about how I felt? What do you think I felt when I was told I had to marry Wade? What did you do to stop it? You told me…promised me everything would be fine. You held me in your arms and told me you loved me. I held to that hope until it was almost too late. I did the only thing I could have done, but once it was done, I could not go back. If you thought differently, you never knew me.”
Cullen shot her a stabbing look and countered, “I never wanted you to marry Wade. Do you think I gave a damn about Magnolia Bluff? I cared only about you. I wanted only you.”
“Then you had time to take me away, Cullen, before you went to rescue Gillie. You had time...” Her voice faded. Her face fell into her hands.
For a long moment, Jo hid her face. Then she shook her head. “This will get us nowhere. If you don’t understand I did it all for my child, for his honor…to be able to live with my conscience, there is nothing I can do to convince you now. I realized when Wade told me you were set to kidnap Percival from me how much you hated me. Now, my question to you is what is going to happen to Percival?”
The room seemed to tilt and blur. Anger burned in Cullen, but at the moment he didn’t know whether it was at the woman in front of him or himself. He said soundly, “He will be with me.”
Pressing her lips together, she sat back as pain swept across her face. “I realize that I am in no position to ask. I am homeless and have nothing but my love for my child. In truth, I don’t know how I’m to keep Madeline and myself. I can’t go back to Magnolia Bluff. I doubt I will ever be able to return after everything that has occurred. I have racked my brain, Cullen, trying to desperately come up with a semblance of a plan.
“I was hoping that maybe you could find it in your heart to find me a place of employment. I was thinking perhaps a housekeeper. I love to teach but I doubt I could find work as such in the North. If I could just be close to him…please don’t take him from me.”
Cullen frowned. “I don’t believe finding you employment will be feasible. I was going to wait until in the morning, but you realize that there were conditions to your release. You don’t think you simply walked out?”
As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he watched the whole of her body tense. He walked closer to her. She shrank back into the sofa, pulling her feet up to her much like he had seen her in the morning.
Jo shook her head. “No, please don’t send me back. Cullen, please.” She began to rock. “I haven’t done anything. Please, let me see my children. I only want to see my children. I can’t go on…”
What was wrong with her? He gripped her shoulders and pulled her up to him.
Her hands clutched his loosened shirt. “Please.” Her eyes looked frantically at him. “Don’t do this. I can’t take more. I have lost everything except my children.”
Suddenly, she withdrew. “Is that what you want? You want me destroyed. You want me dead!” Jo fell on her knees. Her mind wandered. She began to ramble. “Oh, my God! Madeline. Who will look after her? My baby. Will Percival know…?”
Bending down, Cullen pulled her back up to him. Hysterical, she kept shaking her head, mumbling incoherent words, not listening to a word he said in an attempt to calm her. Restraint lost, he shouted, “Shut up! Shut up!” He drew back his hand and caught himself only a moment before he would have struck her.
Shocked, her eyes widened in fear…fear of him.
God in Heaven! What had he almost done? He had come so close to hitting her…physically hurting her. The next moment, he pulled her to him.
Josephine pushed back with everything she had, but he was stronger.
She broke into sobs.
Cullen let her cry.
****
Cullen held her, his shirt damp from her tears. He had lost his sense of time…he didn’t care. It had been so long since he had held her in his arms. How many nights on board ship had he dreamed of her? No matter what he had vehemently denied—he did love her.
It was himself who he hated.
He hated he hadn’t taken her away the first night they landed in Charleston. He hated he hadn’t given her an option when he had gone back for her. He hated to admit that damn honor and duty that she held to so fervently, he had also.
He had left her, not she him.
For the first time, he admitted to himself his own shortcomings. Was it his own jealousy that drove him? That she had chosen to make a life for herself and her child?
Or was it that Wade accepted Percival as his own?
Wade…oh, dear Lord…he was jealous of his cousin. Cullen thought he knew Wade so well. But to react the way Wade had and become the man he had died, there had to be only one reason: his love for Josephine.
The thought plagued Cullen—did Josephine return that love?
His own father had written of what a fine boy Perci
val was. His father knew; from his letter he readily understood.
I find I’m dealing with another young man as was his father, stubborn and with the distinct habit of never being wrong, but I find I have had experience with such a young man before and have used it to my advantage. He is bright, intelligent, and has a love for the sea, he tells me, but he is extremely worried about his mother. He has more than once explained to me that he is the man of the house and needs to protect his mother and Madeline. Madeline, now, is thriving. The first couple of weeks were difficult, given the fact we thought we might lose her. She refused to eat, but Elizabeth has formed quite the attachment to the little lady, and eventually the baby returned that love. Monica adores her also; she’s quite a beautiful toddler. With all that has happened over the last few years, I have to say I have enjoyed the diversion. The house is alive again. The gloom that had descended down upon us over the last few years looks as though it’s lifting.
Cullen felt Jo’s hands push back against him as she tried to sit up. Gently, he pressed her back down to his chest. “Don’t. Not yet.” His voice was low and soft. “You’re not going back to prison ever. I gave them my word that you would not reveal what is going on at Magnolia Bluff. That was enough for them to release you.”
“Why would they allow such, Cullen? Why would they take your word for me?”
“Because, as your husband, I could speak for you,” he said bluntly. “Father and Percival will be here in the morning. We will be married tomorrow afternoon.”
“Oh,” she whispered and then silence. They sat in the darkness. Neither said a word. Then she said softly, “You can’t. My reputation must be in shreds with everything that has happened. I can neither go back home nor stay here without whispers and stares. I know Philadelphia…”
“Hush, Josephine. Stop. I know of everything that has happened. It’s my fault. Moreover, I’m not going to throw the mother of my child in the streets.”
He paused. Could he tell her he should have married her so many years ago? He should have taken her off the plantation after Wade died. That it was his biggest regret. But he said nothing.
Tears flowed freely against his chest. She whispered, “If this is what you want, Cullen. I will have my children?”
“Of course.”
She wiped her eyes. “Could we go back to Rosemount? The children would love to go to the countryside and it’s such a beautiful place.”
Cullen’s heart faltered with her remembrance of Rosemount. “I’m still in the Navy, Josephine. I don’t know if I have time to take you there yet. The war shouldn’t last much longer and I do plan to resign after my furlough. Give me some time to settle my affairs.”
Josephine inhaled a steadying breath. “Of course,” she said simply…dispassionately. “I understand.” She turned away. “I believe I will retire.”
As he watched her walk back into her room and shut her door, he said nothing else. Cullen stared at the empty space where she had stood and then he lit back up his cigar. His eyes focused on the glowing tip of the cigar.
Jo had always been full of fire and life, but being in prison had certainly diminished both. And he knew he was to blame. Could she…would she…ever forgive him?
* * * *
Cullen rose early in the morning to take care of a few errands before his father arrived. He had left Josephine a note explaining he would be back shortly. Thankfully, he had been able to get everything accomplished quicker than he first thought.
Walking down the corridor to his room, he reached in his pocket for his key. Suddenly, the door swung open and Josephine bolted out. Startled at his presence, she recoiled, but then recognition lit in her eyes. Smiling broadly, she cried, “They are here! I’ve been waiting at the window. They are here!”
“Whoa!” He laughed and caught her by her waist. By God, she looked beautiful smiling…happy. “They will come upstairs. You will miss them if you go down.”
“I hadn’t thought of that.” She stepped back into the room. Biting her lower lip, her face dropped with a sudden worry. “Do you think Percival will be mad with me or forgotten me?”
Cullen stared at her. Her confidence had all but disappeared. He reached over and touched her face tenderly. “He will be as happy to see you as you him.”
Tears welled in her eyes, but the smile returned when down the corridor a call came out.
“Momma!”
Cullen kept his hand upon Jo’s shoulder as not to have the reunion in the middle of the hall. But nothing could stop the patter of small feet running as fast as he could into the room. Cullen stepped back as the young lad ran in with his arms outreached. Jo clung to her son, hugging him tightly.
A strange nervousness gripped Cullen. He hadn’t seen his son since the day he was born. He couldn’t get a clear view. Percival’s face was hidden against Jo’s shoulder. All he saw was a headful of dark, thick hair after Percival’s hat fell off.
Glancing over at the door, Cullen watched his father walk in, smiling brightly. When he extended his hand to his father, his father shook his head and pulled him into an embrace.
“It’s been too long, son. Too long,” Jonathan said. “Done us proud. Mother has told everyone about your medal of honor.”
“It’s good to see you, too, sir,” Cullen acknowledged. “Thank you for bringing Percival. Jo has been upset being separated from the children.”
Josephine drew her son back to get a good look at him. “You have grown a foot.” She choked back her tears. “I can’t even imagine how much your sister has changed since I’ve last seen her…” Her voice faded; tears flowed.
“Don’t cry, Momma,” Percival said, quite straightforward. “I’m here. I will protect you like I’ve protected Maddy. Isn’t that right, Grandfather?”
Cullen caught Josephine’s eyes widened on the utterance. His father’s face colored a dark shade of red with an apology on his lips for allowing Percival to call him by that name, but it was the young man himself who had Cullen speechless. If there was any doubt of his parentage, it vanished upon the glance. It was like looking into a mirror. Percival had his nose, his chin…his eyes.
Percival stopped suddenly as he caught sight of Cullen in his naval uniform. Instinctively, Percival stepped back into his mother’s arms, as if he was protecting her from him. Josephine smiled softly at her son…their son.
Her head tilted to the side, pointing to Cullen. “Percival, do you know who this is?”
Percival shook his head, but leaned against her. His small hands cupped her face so she could look only at him. “He’s a Yankee.”
“Yes, darling, but you remember when I said there were good Yankees, like Lieutenant McFadden and all the sailors on board the Sovereign?”
He nodded but his eyes were fixed on Cullen. He looked back at his mother.
“He’s your daddy’s cousin from Philadelphia. You remember when I told you the stories of the uncle you were named after? How he and your daddy got into lots of mischief? You remember I told you they had their cousin with them? It was Cullen. Remember I told you how your daddy saved me before we married and his cousin helped him? It was Cullen. He was there the day you were born. And now, Percival, this afternoon, he is to become your father.”
Josephine stood with her hand on her son’s shoulder. She slightly pushed him toward Cullen.
Percival jerked back rebelliously. Then he stepped forward himself. He eyed Cullen from head to toe. “Do you command a ship?”
Cullen knelt down, feeling his heart in his throat. He nodded. “I did. Now though, I feel it’s time to concentrate on my family.”
“You fought my daddy?”
“In the war, we were on different sides, but soon the war will be over. Then we all will be on the same side again and be a united country.”
Percival glanced back at his mother, who nodded to him. He extended his small hand to Cullen. “It is nice to meet you, sir.”
* * * *
In the late afternoon, Cullen
exchanged vows with Josephine in a church that he had searched out that morning. Percival was there alongside the man who had already proclaimed himself to be his grandfather. Hugh stood as Cullen’s best man. His father had brought the ring he had requested, a simple gold band, but it had been his grandmother’s. When the preacher pronounced them husband and wife, Cullen leaned down and kissed his bride’s cheek. It was done. She was a free woman and he had his son.
* * * *
A week had passed quickly. Soon Cullen would return to Philadelphia. He couldn’t remember a more pleasant time. Percival had been constantly by his side and seemed quite impressed that his new father commanded a ship, even an enemy ship.
Cullen understood the necessity that dictated that he could never openly proclaim that Percival was truly his son, but he wouldn’t contradict anyone who assumed he was. He took pride in the fact most assumed Percival was his as they walked around the shipyard. Percival was a handsome lad, if he said so himself, and quite intelligent, too much so at times.
Cullen took Percival aboard the Pailulda, the battleship he had returned on from his tour of duty. Percival climbed up high on the railing in a position Cullen was certain his mother would never approve. Cullen wrapped his arm about Percival’s waist and looked out over the harbor.
“I like ships,” Percival announced. “You like them too.”
“I have all my life. My father commanded ships.”
Percival looked up at him with inquisitive eyes. “Are you my real father?”
Taken back by the question, Cullen answered with a question. “Why do you ask that?”
“Ya’ promise not to tell Momma?”
“If I do not need to tell her, I won’t.”
Percival lowered his gaze for a moment, and then looked back up at Cullen. “When they thought I was sleeping, I hear’ ’em. Auntie Elizabe’ said just look at the boy. He has to be Cullen’s son. You’re Cullen, aren’t ya?”
Cullen nodded his head slowly.
Percival asked again. “Are ya? Are ya my real father?”
“I married your mother. So, yes, I’m your real father,” Cullen said. “I knew your daddy very well. We were like brothers. He was a great man who was brave and courageous and did what many men would not do. I owe him greatly…a debt I can never repay.”