by Hines, Jerri
“She is mine!”
“Calm yourself, Josephine. No one is taking your children. I tried to give you time to realize that your children still hold you in their hearts. You can’t imagine that anyone could ever replace someone so dear.”
Her eyes burned with the sting of tears. “Don’t do this to me, Cullen. I understand well how much you hate me. Now you have the power to inflict enormous pain. You have my children.”
“I have no desire to cause you pain, Josephine.” He threw his hands in exasperation. “Can you not see that I have tried to give you time to come to grips with everything around you? Do you not realize I know how much you have lost?”
“You are concerned about what I have lost?” she quipped sharply. “You who plotted to take my son from me? You who told him that you were his real father? How could you do such a thing?”
“I talked to him before we married. He asked if I was to be a real father to him. I answered him truthfully. He is a child who can’t understand fully.”
“No!” she said adamantly. “Do not skim on the surface of honesty. You have made it clear to everyone that Percival is your son!”
“For your information, only a few trusted souls know the truth from me,” he said in a voice void of inflection. “Though I bear responsibility for your predicament, there is nothing I can say that will undo what has been done. I will not deny he has my look, but people can only speculate. Wade made certain of that.
“He made it clear to everyone that Percival was his son. If you fear he will be labeled a bastard, it will never happen. Wade gave him his name and by leaving Percival Magnolia Bluff, he left no question.” He moved to her side. His fingertips cupped her chin and he turned her head so she faced him. “I won’t take that from Wade. I told Percival what a great man his daddy was, if you must know. I told him his daddy did what most would not and I owe him dearly.”
Jo looked in his eyes. He reached back and ran his fingers through her hair. Immediately, she was aware of a warming sensation that surged through her body, spawned only by his simple touch. It was too much to bear.
“Wade loved Percival, Cullen…”
“I know,” he whispered, so close she felt his breath against her skin. “I realize he loved you, also, but what gnaws at my soul is you loved him in return.”
Lowering her gaze, she couldn’t look at him. His words could not be denied. What did he want her to say—that Wade was a ghost that stood between them? She looked back up at him. “I loved him, Cullen, but—”
He placed his finger over her lips. “Don’t say anything…not yet. I have something to show you.” He reached for her hand; they walked across the room. As he drew back the large curtain that hid a door, he asked, “Have you not wondered where this door led?”
She would have been foolish not to realize it was connected to his room. Husband and wives having separate bedrooms were unheard of in the South. She had held the belief she had been placed beside Cullen for appearance’s sake.
Opening it wide, he gestured for her to enter. It was a lovely room, rather large with a fire burning brightly in the hearth. A gold-plated mirror hung over the fireplace. The walls were a deeper, darker blue than her own. A finely carved writing table angled near the window.
The aroma of a warm dinner hung in the air, hovering over a table set for two in the far corner. Close by was the huge four-post bed. It had been turned down.
He came up behind her before she could utter her confusion. His arms wrapped around her waist, he pushed back her hair and kissed her neck.
Startled, she turned in his arms. Confusion reflected in her eyes.
“The children have been taken care of for the evening.” He reached over and caressed her face gently. “I wanted this night to be about us. I know you believe I have set to punish you for some unknown reason, but, in truth, I wanted to give you space to come to terms with what had happened to you. I was told it would take time for you to recover, but I don’t think there is any more time without losing you. I don’t want to lose you, Josephine.”
“Cullen, I don’t know what to say,” she gasped. “I thought you hated me.”
“Never. I have never stopped loving you,” he said in a ragged whisper. “You need to know everything that I have held within me. The torture I have endured first of losing you…and now with you so close. I wanted to tell you and then everything became so chaotic. I…Oh, Josephine.”
Her stunned expression shattered into one of astonished surprise. They stared at each other for a suspended moment. Cullen lowered his mouth on hers. She abandoned all restraint and gave herself up to her long suppressed desire.
Her breath caught as his kiss deepened. After so many years apart—all the protest to the contrary—emotions so long restrained, repelled for self-preservation—unbridled passion was unleashed in the night much like a tide that broke against a dam.
Josephine was lost in his musky scent; his hard body pressed against her. Barely breathing, she looked at him. Reaching up, she touched his face to outline it with her fingers. He was real…it wasn’t a dream.
He took her hand and kissed it. “Forgive me, my love. Pray, forgive me. I love you. I need you.”
Her eyes locked with his, as if frozen in time. Both afraid to move, to breathe for fear all would vanish before their eyes. He cupped her face gently in his hands.
“I have seen you every time I closed my eyes. Your face has haunted me. So beautiful, so lovely, laughing up at me. You so innocently trusting me. I would awaken with the realization that you lay beyond my grasp. I allowed jealousy to gnaw at me. I told myself all I wanted was to have you back in my arms just once.
“Before every battle, I would dream of you. Your lips on mine, warm and eager. I have a thousand visions of you in my heart. I clung to them.
“Now, God help me, I have tried to convince myself it is all for the boy—that part of me that has clung to you was dead—that same idiotic part that told me I could live without you the day you married Wade. I can’t. I’ve tried and find I’m only half a man. Forgive me, Josephine.”
Josephine’s breath left her in a sudden gasp. She leaned up to him and whispered, “Love me, Cullen. Don’t let me go.”
She kissed him fervently, caught in a fierce tide of passion. The result was inevitable. The kiss served as a bridge from yesterday to this moment. He swept her in his arms and laid her on his bed. All else was forgotten except their need for each other, a merger of man and wife, heart and soul together as the years melted away.
The crackling fire burned. He stopped kissing her for a moment, long enough to soak in the sight of the woman who had haunted his dreams for so long. He took the hem of her nightdress and peeled it from her body.
Her raven hair shimmered down in waves over her bare skin, enticing a tightening in his loins. He touched her, sliding his hand downward over her body and then sweeping it upward between her thighs, invading her most sensitive places.
Her breath caught as her hand fluttered over his tautly muscled chest. She moved her hand slowly down to his hard shaft and closed her fingers ever so gently around it. His breath caught on her caress, driving him crazy with need.
“Slow, my darling, slow. I want to savor every moment.”
Leaning on his elbow, he touched her breasts; his fingers circled them, pulled at the tingling tips. He dipped down and his mouth claimed her nipple, intensifying the insatiable hunger deep within her.
She encouraged his assault. He lowered his kisses, claiming her body as his domain. His lips burned with the flame of desire over her stomach and hips, her thighs and mound. Soon she rocked with an unbearable throb, writhing with a sweeping sensation that coursed through her body.
She caught his shoulders and drew him up to her.
“I want you, Josephine, only you,” he murmured huskily.
The whole of her body burned with a desire that he had ignited. “Take me. Don’t torture me more. I need you…you…Cullen…please.”
He answered her plea. His naked body covered her and she rose up against him. Their fevered kisses blended as their own bodies became one.
He entered her; his harsh breathing rasped near her ear, while her own quickening gasps escaped involuntarily from her inner being. She felt his hardness press against her pulse and her senses reeled in ecstasy. He moved in a rhythm that she matched. She knew this and wanted it. Throwing her head back, she almost wept as his final thrust filled her. Waves of bliss suffused through her, but it was more than pleasure shared. He had reached into her very soul and reclaimed what had been lost from the years apart.
The sweat on their bodies glistened in the firelight. Their passion spent, they collapsed in each other’s arms. Since he last had her in his arms, he had been a man possessed with a need to fill the void within him. Searching for fulfillment, he had braved battles and faced death many times. None had brought him the answers he sought.
Deny the fact as much as he had, he had to acknowledge it had always been Josephine. She was the part of him that was missing. Sated, he pulled her to him and basked in the serenity of the peace he had finally found.
* * * *
Josephine stretched languidly beneath the comfort of the warm down-filled comforter. She had slept soundly for the first time since she had left Magnolia Bluff, forgetting for a moment she wasn’t alone. A hand reached out for her and pulled her close to his naked body.
She turned in his arms to find him smiling broadly. Her eyes sparkled as his mouth found hers. She whispered, “Is this real? Am I going to wake up finding all a dream?”
“If it is, then I never want to wake up,” he said. “There is so much more I wanted to say, explain and then I lost all restraint.”
Her eyes searched his. “There is nothing to forgive, Cullen. I don’t want to talk of things in the past. I’m afraid.”
“Afraid? I am never letting you go…”
“Not of you, Cullen, but the world outside those doors. I don’t think I could survive being ripped from you again. I am weak. You don’t know what I felt when you left. I had waited for a miracle that didn’t come. I pushed all my feelings aside to survive. Now you have broken through the barriers…if you don’t feel…I couldn’t…I won’t endure…” Her words faltered.
Tenderly, he kissed her.
She whispered against his lips. “I love you, Cullen. I can live with everything if I know I have you.”
“You have me,” he murmured huskily. “You always have.”
Chapter Eleven
The war raged on within a broken nation. The newspapers were filled with one battle or another, but the feeling held it would not be much longer before this horrific conflict would come to an end.
Despite the ongoing fighting, Cullen had never been more content. Over the last few weeks, Josephine had begun to heal. He had his love, his child, and his family.
Problems lingered. Josephine was fragile, so fragile, but she was making an effort and trying to find a place in his world. He had her moved into his room. He should have never had her in another room. She belonged with him.
The sight of Percival when he had come down the stairs in tears that fateful morning forced him to act. No longer listening to the advice of others, he did what he had wanted to do the moment he had taken her for his wife.
Percival had, at his father’s insistence, apologized to his mother for his behavior, although muttering under his breath that Cullen was his real father. Josephine chose to accept his effort without a rebuttal.
Madeline had been another issue in which Cullen had found an acceptable solution. Mrs. Finnegan would stay on as the nanny while Josephine cared for her daughter in the room that once was hers. Josephine’s worries eased with the easy access to her…their daughter. Wade had cared for Percival as his own; Cullen was determined to do the same for Madeline.
Elizabeth and Josephine’s friendship seemed to flourish. He wished he could feel the same about his mother’s relationship with his wife. The dealings between Josephine and his mother…there were some things that were harder to overcome.
The friction between the two hadn’t eased. Cullen doubted it would in the foreseeable future. In the spring, he would take Josephine and the children to Rosemount.
Now, his home was filled with the aroma of cookies and evergreen. Christmas was upon them and he had never known such contentment. The sight of his wife moving about the drawing room, exchanging gifts she had taken such care picking out, warmed Cullen’s heart. He had taken her out shopping after much persuasion that his money was hers.
She had asked him a million questions about the likes of everyone, even the servants. He had let her do all she wanted and enjoyed every minute of it, for she smiled and laughed. Moreover, for the first time he had picked out gifts for his son and Madeline, which made Josephine tear up at his effort.
Nothing compared with her reaction to the present he had given her in bed before they readied to go downstairs. He had picked out a locket, a gold locket with a heart encircled with vines. Inside he had placed a picture he had taken of the children, leaving the other side empty for another picture, one he wanted with her, engraving the back with Yours forever, Cullen.
While she stood in the mirror and admired her gift, he pulled out a small box. Looking at him oddly, she opened it and gasped at the sight. He had hunted down the emerald wedding ring Wade had given her…that had been stolen from her. An impossible task, but he had been determined. It had cost him both favors and money, but he had been successful. Overwhelmed, she wept happy tears.
Gone was any lingering jealousy he held toward Wade. In a way, the ring signified a healing. Now, he thought of the Wade he had known in his youth without the anger and rage that the war had wedged between them.
Cullen watched Madeline toddle over to Josephine with her stuffed bear. Josephine hugged her tight and sent her over to her Aunt Elizabeth, who laughed joyfully. Percival played with his soldiers in the floor. His parents sat on the sofa, looking happier than he had seen them in a long time. Cullen finished his drink and sat down to play with his son.
* * * *
In late January, news of the war filtered back to Cullen, not unexpectedly, but he tried to keep most from Josephine. General Sherman had made his move from Atlanta through South Carolina, destroying almost everything in his path, a path that diverted from Magnolia Bluff.
Devastation lay throughout the South with the trail that Sherman left. It was a calculated strategy to strangle the life out of the South, a harsh reality to the cursed war. The stubborn, prideful Southerners had steadfastly refused to contemplate surrendering. The Rebs had fought for over three years without supplies, ammunition, food, guns… The war should have been long over, but someone forgot to tell the Rebs.
Cullen understood, not at the beginning, but during his time with Farragut. The Union had been lukewarm in its attempt at the beginning of the war, feeling torn in fighting their own. The South had never had that issue. The Rebels felt they were fighting for their way of life—their families. They fought with what was most dangerous—their heart, a dangerous opponent.
He understood it had come only when Lincoln had taken the stance that the war needed to end and instructed Grant and Sherman to have the South feel the full wrath of the North. Shouldn’t the responsibility of all actions of this bloody godforsaken war hold consequences? The only way to conqueror the South’s undying spirit was to strangle their heart and cut it out.
Cullen had never doubted the stance he had taken. He believed fervently in the Union and believed just as strongly that they were in the right in the sight of God. The Union needed to be preserved. But unlike most he fought beside, he loved the land he battled. Despite everything, he loved Charleston, the people and his family.
He had long ago given up on pretending to have all the answers. Those days had passed with each battle and the good men lost. He sighed as he looked at the telegram in his hand. He had to make a trip to Washington.
&n
bsp; Looking back over his shoulder, he watched his wife donning her new apparel for their night out at the theater. She had finally agreed to go out socially. He wanted this night to be perfect.
Josephine looked stunning in the blue silk faille evening gown, worn off the shoulder with a bodice cut low across her full bosom. Abundantly decorated with white silk braid and blue ribbon, the exquisite dress had a row of decorative bead drops. The hem was edged with silk ribbon pleated with handmade lace.
She peered over her shoulder, lightly touching the string of pearls he had given her. She smiled. My God, she looked lovely! His mind easily pictured her wearing nothing but those pearls. Tonight, he would make his fantasy a reality.
He tucked the letters into his desk drawers. The news could wait. In truth, he doubted he would even mention the letter that arrived from Andrew with news of Magnolia Bluff. Cullen saw no reason to share the correspondence with his wife and spoil her evening. The news would only sadden her.
Cullen,
Magnolia Bluff has survived. Though, I am over laden with guilt, not only over the way I have kept Magnolia Bluff from being burnt to the ground, but Josephine. I had no choice, but that knowledge has not eased my conscience. The papers have painted Jo a Jezebel with her marriage to you, believing she has betrayed Wade. I take solace in the fact that Magnolia Bluff and the family has endured. I am committed to overseeing Magnolia Bluff and the estate until Percival is old enough to take over his inheritance. Mother misses the children desperately. She doesn’t understand why Josephine left. Again, it bothers me that Jo can’t defend herself. Mother doesn’t comprehend the danger Jo would have been in had she stayed, the danger the family would have had to face. As to your concerns about Harry Lee—I understand he died not long ago in a Northern prison camp, Fort Delaware, dubbed the Fort Delaware Death Pen. You might be able to confirm the information since it is the Union which held him. As always, I will keep you informed to the best of my ability. Andrew