Whoever said “better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” had to be a fool. Better not to know what she was missing than to experience the ultimate happiness and have it someday suddenly snatched away. Her mother was the living, breathing case in point.
MJ parked the car in front of Nana’s. Her mother and grandmother were waiting on the porch and quickly descended the stairs and hurried toward the car.
No one would have guessed from Cat’s appearance the heartache she suffered. Her makeup artfully concealed the shadows beneath her eyes and brought a glow of color to her pale cheeks, and yet, in spite of cosmetics, she maintained a natural look. Dressed in tailored, gray wool slacks, a silk blouse in a pale rose and a cardigan that matched her slacks, Cat, although several pounds thinner than her usual weight, was as beautiful as ever.
She opened the back door for Nana, then climbed into the front seat next to her daughter. “I don’t know if this is a good idea.”
“Fiddlesticks,” Nana said. “It can’t hurt, and it might help.”
“Oh, it can hurt all right,” Cat said with a shiver.
MJ couldn’t imagine what her mother would feel, seeing her husband with the infamous other woman. “I’ll take you home now if you want.”
Cat shook her head. “I’m no coward. And maybe Grant’s right. Seeing us together as a family again might bring Jim to his senses.” A deep sigh escaped her. “And if it doesn’t, I’d have to face Jim and Ginger together eventually. Pleasant Valley’s my home. I can’t stay away forever.”
I can’t stay away forever.
But that was exactly what MJ intended to do. No matter the outcome of tonight’s dinner, she would return to New York tomorrow. Her father was avoiding her too much for her to complete her photographs. Her flight was booked. Her bags were packed. Call her a coward, unlike her mother, but better to leave now with her heart aching but intact.
When they arrived at Grant’s, MJ had to admire her mother’s poise. Only the slight tremor of her hands belied her outward calm. MJ was a nervous wreck. After dropping a plate that smashed on the tile floor of the kitchen, she was relegated to the living room by Grant while he put the finishing touches on dinner.
Fortunately they didn’t have long to wait. Grant answered the door and admitted Jim and Ginger. MJ couldn’t decide which of the pair appeared more stunned at the sight of Cat and Nana.
From her bed beside the hearth, Gloria issued a low growl when she saw Ginger and bared her teeth.
“No, girl,” Grant ordered quietly. “Stay.”
“You didn’t tell me she was going to be here,” Ginger hissed at Jim and glared at Cat. Her grating voice echoed in the tall expanse of the room.
Jim didn’t seem to hear her. His gaze fixed on Cat like a man coming out of a deep coma. When he spoke, his voice was gentle, almost a caress. “Cat. I didn’t expect to see you.”
Cat rose from her chair and approached the couple. “You didn’t think I’d miss our only daughter’s birthday celebration?”
MJ didn’t know how her mother managed the easy, conversational tone. She was even more surprised when Cat extended her hand to Ginger.
“I’m Cat Stratton. You must be Ginger Parker.”
Ginger ignored the outstretched hand. “Soon to be Ginger Stratton.”
Ginger’s words were harsh and they matched the rest of her. Standing face-to-face, the women were a study in contrasts. Cat, the picture of casual, well-bred elegance. Ginger, coarse and vulgar in her too tight, too red, too short dress. With her hair piled high in disarray, diving neckline, black stockings and stiletto heels, she reminded MJ of a hooker.
Her father would have to be blind not to see the striking difference between Ginger and his wife.
“Ginger Stratton,” Cat repeated without flinching. “I suppose best wishes are in order.”
MJ would have found the look on her father’s face comical if she hadn’t felt such pain for her mother.
“It’s not…we aren’t…I don’t…” At a loss for words, Jim seemed in danger of whiplash as he snapped his gaze from one woman to the other with the expression of a man caught in the path of an oncoming locomotive.
“Come in and have a drink.” Grant gestured toward the living room. “Dinner’s almost ready.”
“No thanks.” Ginger tossed her head in a fit of temper. “We’re leaving.”
“But, Ginger,” Jim pleaded, “it’s Merrilee’s birthday.”
Ginger’s face contorted in an ugly scowl. “I don’t care if it’s the Queen of England’s birthday, Jimmy, you’ll take me home. Now.”
She swiveled on her high heels, stomped out the door and slammed it behind her.
“Well.” Nana, in her usual dry tone, spoke for the first time. “That’s the first time I’ve seen trash take itself out.”
Jim, dazed and disoriented, approached MJ and grabbed her hands. “I’m sorry, princess. I have to go.”
MJ fought back tears. “I’m sorry, too, Daddy.”
Before he left, Jim flashed Cat a beseeching look, then fled out the door. Within seconds, the sound of his truck leaving reverberated throughout the room.
Cat wore the frozen look of repressed emotions. “Well, that certainly went well.”
MJ felt Grant’s arm encircling her shoulders with a consoling squeeze, but she didn’t dare look at him, afraid she’d burst into tears if he appeared the least bit sympathetic.
“I think,” Nana said with a forceful nod, “that it couldn’t have gone better.”
“What?” The word exploded from Cat as if she’d been struck. “How can you say that? In case you didn’t notice, Jim left with that slut.”
“Ah,” Nana said, “but he wanted to stay. I saw it in his eyes.”
“And Ginger wasn’t exactly Miss Congeniality,” Grant added. “She showed her true colors. And her nasty disposition.”
Nana gave Cat a hug. “We have cause to celebrate, in addition to my granddaughter’s twenty-eighth birthday.”
Grant dropped his arm from MJ’s shoulder and motioned toward the dining table. “Then let’s eat.”
DINNER DIDN’T TAKE LONG. In spite of the delicious meal Grant had assembled, only he and Nana ate. MJ and her mother took obligatory bites and complimented his cooking, but MJ couldn’t swallow anything else past the lump in her throat.
She hadn’t known what to expect from tonight’s party, but unlike Nana, she didn’t believe her father’s actions were a good sign.
After ice cream and a chocolate pound cake Jodie had baked for the occasion, Nana pushed back her chair. “Although it’s your birthday, Merrilee June, I’m leaving you to help Grant clean up.”
Alone with Grant, on her last night in Pleasant Valley? No way. “I don’t have a car—”
“No problem,” Grant said quickly. “I’ll drive you home.”
“Thank you,” Nana said with a regal nod. “That will give Cat and me a chance to talk.”
“You can drop me off at Dad’s,” MJ said. “Then you can talk.”
“And leave Grant with all this work,” Nana said in a scandalized tone, “after all the trouble he’s already gone to?”
MJ narrowed her eyes and considered her grandmother, smelling matchmaking like a hound scents coon, but Nana was the picture of innocence. After thanking Grant for his hospitality, she hustled Cat before her out the door. Cat, apparently still shell-shocked by her encounter with Ginger, murmured an almost unintelligible goodbye.
At the click of the front door latch MJ found herself alone with Grant. She hastened to begin clearing the dessert dishes from the table to avoid the heat in his eyes.
Grant took the plates from her hands, placed them in the sink and grasped her by the shoulders. “Leave the rest and come sit with me. We need to talk.”
“There’s nothing more to say.”
Ignoring her protests, he steered her into the living room, then pulled her next to him onto the sofa.
MJ sat rigidly, placing a
s much distance as possible between them and bracing herself to reveal her plans, which she’d kept from Grant until now. “I’m flying back to New York tomorrow.”
Grant grew suddenly still, as if he’d stopped breathing. Silence, except for the ticking of the mantel clock, filled the room. After a long minute he finally spoke. “But your book…”
Why should her book pan out when nothing else had? “A pie-in-the-sky dream. There’s no point in finishing it. The whole idea was to reunite my folks. It obviously didn’t work.”
He cupped her face in the palm of his hand. Despite her best intentions to remain detached, she leaned into his touch.
“Don’t give up on dreams, Merrilee. They make life worth living.”
“What if dreams turn into nightmares?”
“Are you talking about your parents? I’m talking about us.”
“There is no us, Grant.”
He placed his other hand on her face and forced her to meet his gaze. The love glowing in the deep molten-brown of his eyes was unmistakable. “Deny it all you want, Merrilee, but you can’t change facts. I’ve never stopped loving you. Look me in the eye and swear you don’t love me.”
She tried to turn away, but he held her firm. She closed her eyes, but blocking her vision only intensified her awareness of his touch, the warmth of his palms against her cheeks, the chocolate-coffee scent of his breath. Heat surged through her like magma in a long-dormant volcano building toward eruption.
“You can’t say it, can you?” he demanded.
“You know I can’t.”
“Don’t leave.”
Purposely misunderstanding, she opened her eyes and twisted her mouth in a wry grin. “Since you’re my transportation, I can’t go until you take me.”
Too late, she realized the double meaning of her words.
“Only if you let me.”
He waited a millisecond for her to protest before his lips devoured hers and she opened her mouth to him. Shifting his hands from her cheeks to entwine them in her hair, he drew her closer.
Drawing on all her inner resources, she finally wrenched away. “This is pointless. I’m leaving tomorrow, Grant, and I won’t be back.”
He cupped her face in his hands. “Then let me have tonight, Merrilee. Just one night to remember.”
“It’s not a good idea,” she protested over the yearnings of her heart. Leaving him would be hard enough as it was.
“Then think of it as a goodbye gift,” he said softly and lowered his lips to hers.
Reaching deep inside for the will to resist, she came up empty. Every cell in her body longed for him and her nerves sparked like frayed electrical cords. She felt the flick of his tongue against hers and a burgeoning heat flared in her lower body.
Abruptly he drew back, leaving her breathless and wanting more. His lips lifted in a sensuous smile. “I’ve never shown you the rest of the house.”
Oh, lordy. The bedroom was the only part she hadn’t seen.
Before she could respond, he swooped her into his arms and started up the stairs.
Stop him now, before it’s too late, an inner voice warned her.
But she’d crossed the boundary of reason when he’d kissed her. Now her only reality was the comfort of his embrace, a safe haven against the craziness in her world. She buried her face against his chest, tightened her arms around his neck and beneath her cheek felt the thunder of his heartbeat synchronize with her own. The haven Grant offered was safe, but it was no calm harbor. Her emotions churned, her senses reeled and desire blazed through her like a forest fire out of control.
In the spacious loft Grant set her on her feet and kissed her again while he removed her clothes. Crazy with love, trembling with need, she stripped off his and they fell in a tangle of arms and legs onto the bed.
“Merrilee, I’ve missed you so much,” he murmured, then trailed kisses down her throat. His hands stroked her back and drew her along the length of him, enfolding her in his warmth.
He dipped his head to nuzzle her breasts and slid his fingers between her legs, his expert feathery strokes producing a delicious tension.
“Don’t—” she cried.
He raised his head, his eyes questioning.
“Don’t stop,” she begged. “Please.”
He smiled and his magical hands continued until she experienced an explosion of sensation that melted her bones.
Before she could catch her breath, he removed a foil packet from the nightstand, tore it open and slid on the condom. She tilted her hips to meet his plunge, then wrapped her legs around him. He moved with slow, easy strokes, his eyes never leaving hers.
For the first time since she’d returned to Pleasant Valley, she felt she’d truly come home to the place where she belonged. To Grant’s arms, his home, his bed. Tomorrow she’d be gone, but she could savor tonight, treasure the moment.
She felt the tension building again and when he slipped over the edge, she followed him in an intense, white-hot burst.
Grant eased his weight off her, pulled her into the crook of his arm and stroked her hair. “I love you, Merrilee.”
For the first time in six years, she felt complete, but she couldn’t bring herself to say the words. Their love-making had been perfection. Tonight had been a birthday present to herself, a moment to treasure in the long, lonely days ahead.
Dreams might shatter, she reminded herself, but memories were forever.
Chapter Twelve
MJ climbed the hated four flights of stairs to her apartment, anxious to strip off her clothes and soak under a hot shower. The seven-year-old’s birthday party she’d just photographed had ended in an all-out food fight and cake icing flecked her clothing and glistened in her hair. She’d been lucky to protect her equipment from the sticky barrages. With a grim nod, she decided to add a whopping hazardous-duty fee to the bill for her services.
She’d been back in New York almost three weeks, but in many ways, she felt she’d never left. Except for longing for Grant in the wee hours of the morning when she couldn’t sleep. And worrying about her parents. She hadn’t spoken with her folks since the disastrous dinner party. Nana had driven her to the airport and promised to report any news, but, ominously, MJ hadn’t heard from Nana, either.
The only news she’d had was from her agent. He’d found a publisher interested in her pictorial book on country vets. But, as much as she’d enjoyed returning home and being with family and friends in the place she could no longer deny loving, MJ had no intention of returning to Pleasant Valley to complete her photographs for the project. She couldn’t bear watching her father continue to break her mother’s heart. And the idea of being around Grant scared her to death. She’d come too close to succumbing to his marriage proposal the night of her birthday. She’d needed all her strength to slip away in the predawn hours to catch her flight.
She entered her apartment and almost dropped her camera bag in alarm. Her parents rose from the sofa and stood with their arms around each other in the early evening light streaming through the tall windows.
“Mom! Dad! What are you doing here?”
Her mother enfolded her in a hug, either not noticing or not caring about the frosting that covered her. “Phil and Randy across the hall had your spare key and let us in.”
“Hi, princess.” Her father embraced her, too, then held her at arm’s length and flicked a piece of icing from her hair. “Rough day?”
Confusion and hope bubbled through her. Her parents were together! But what were they doing here? A chilling thought struck her. “Nana?”
Her mother smiled. “She’s fine and sends her love.”
MJ stowed her coat and equipment in the closet. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“No thanks,” her dad said. “We’re taking you to the best restaurant in New York for dinner. We’ll have drinks then to celebrate.”
“Celebrate?” MJ asked.
Cat’s eyes twinkled. “The demise of Ginger Parker.”
“Not literally,” her father said, “but definitely as far as our family’s concerned.”
“Come sit between us,” her mother said.
MJ settled between her parents on the sofa.
“First,” Jim said, “I owe you an apology, princess, for my horrible behavior. I hurt you and your mother terribly, and I intend to spend the rest of my life making it up to both of you.”
MJ felt she was living in a dream come true. “What happened?”
“There’s no excuse for it,” her father said, “but I can try to explain. I let myself get rundown, physically and emotionally, and when Ginger came along, I fell into a fantasy. With you here and your mother in Asheville, I had no one to pull me back to earth.”
“Until Grant’s party,” her mother said.
“One look at your mother,” her father continued, gazing at Cat with such devotion it brought tears to MJ’s eyes, “and I realized I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I’d traded something real and precious for a few cheap thrills. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”
“Jim took Ginger home that night,” Cat said, “and left her immediately. He was waiting for me at my Asheville apartment when I returned from your nana’s.”
Her father’s contrite expression warmed MJ’s heart. “I begged your mother’s forgiveness and asked her to give me another chance.”
MJ looked from one parent to another. “So everything’s all right?”
Her mother took her hands and squeezed them. “Not yet. Not totally. But it will be.”
“We’re seeing a marriage counselor,” her father said. “I’m trying to understand what happened to make damned sure it never happens again. And the counselor’s helping me deal with my guilt over the pain I’ve caused my family.”
“And,” her mother added, “helping me handle my anger.”
MJ shook her head. “But how, after all that happened…”
Her mother’s smile was radiant. “How can we still be together? The bigger question is how can we not?”
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