by Amity Hope
“I want to take you somewhere,” Seth said as he pulled into my driveway.
I sat for a moment, confused when he pulled the key out of the ignition. “Sure. Where are we going?”
“Come on.” He got out. I followed. He glanced at my feet. I was wearing boots and he seemed satisfied. I followed him straight into the snow, around the side of our house and when the old tree house came into view, I knew that’s where we were headed.
We traipsed through more snow until we reached the base of the tree.
“I’ll go first. Just to be sure these will hold.” He turned to smile at me. “And to make sure nothing is living inside.”
“Be my guest,” I said with a laugh. I motioned to the makeshift ladder—boards hammered sideways into the tree. He took a tentative step up, determined it was safe and continued upward. His head disappeared into the hole at the bottom. The rest of him followed. His face reappeared a few moments later. “Coast is clear. I think anything that might want to live in here is probably hibernating.”
I hoisted myself up. With my mitten covered hands and bulky jacket, it was a lot harder than Seth made it look. I maneuvered myself through the opening in the floor. Then Seth took my hands and helped me to my feet.
The inside of the tree house seemed so much smaller than I remembered it being. Or maybe it was because Seth and I had grown. The bulkiness of our winter clothes also made the area seem a little more confined.
Dad had built the tree house for Dustin when we were kids. By the time he’d grown tired of it, it had become my favorite place. Seth and I probably used it more than Dustin ever had. We’d spend hours up there in the summer. Sometimes in the winter too. Dad would send us up with a thermos of his special homemade cocoa.
There was a field behind our house. In the summer, the field was full of wildflowers. Now, it was a vast expanse of white, skirted by snow-covered pines in the distance. The view was postcard perfect and yet, I wasn’t sure why we were up here. I turned to Seth with a questioning look on my face.
“I remember I was so excited when we moved here,” he reminisced. “Mom told me there were kids next door.”
I smiled. “We were like, what? Four? And Dustin was seven. There were two older boys on the other side of the loop. He wanted nothing to do with us.”
Seth laughed. “Yeah, I took that pretty hard.”
“So you got stuck with me,” I teased.
“I kind of have a confession to make,” he said. “I had a huge crush on you back then. I mean, not when we were four. But a lot later.”
I tried to cock an eyebrow at him. But my face was so chilled I wasn’t sure if I succeeded. “Oh, yeah?”
“I kind of think you had a crush on me too.” He sounded serious but his expression was teasing.
“Guilty.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“Let’s see. Because I had no idea what to say. You were my friend. I had no idea how to tell you. Did I mention…you were my friend?” He smiled at that. “What’s your excuse?”
“All the same reasons,” he said. “So yeah, that’s why I never said anything either.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but why are we up here?” I wondered.
“This is where we were the first time I realized I wanted to kiss you,” he said. “You were sitting right over there. I think we were twelve, maybe thirteen. It was one of the last times we came up here. Your hair was down. Usually, back then, you always wore it in a ponytail. But it was down and you were drinking a bottle of lemonade. You’d just gotten done shopping with Gabby at the mall. You were telling me about all of the different flavors of lip gloss you bought. I’d never cared about your lip gloss before. But that day,” he said with a low laugh, “that was all I could think about. In fact, that’s all I thought about for days. Maybe even years. I wanted to taste every damn one of those flavors.”
“Really?” I asked, unable to hide my surprise.
He nodded. “Did you think you were the only one that wanted that dare?”
I scrunched up my face as I made my admission. “About that…The dare wasn’t really Gabby’s idea.”
“Oh yeah?” he asked, feigning surprise.
“Yeah. It was probably pretty obvious, huh?”
He shrugged but he was smiling. “That night, I just kept wishing that I’d kissed you sooner. Because I knew in the morning you were leaving. I was sure I’d never get the chance to kiss you again. But here you are.”
“Here I am,” I echoed. I didn’t want the moment to end but my teeth began to clatter together. He kissed his fingertips and pressed them to my trembling lips as he smiled.
“I don’t know why I wanted to come up here,” he said. He turned away from me, looking out across the field. “I guess it’s just that I’ve been thinking back, to when we were younger. Actually, after you moved, I used to sit out here sometimes. When I was looking for someplace quiet. I worried your dad wouldn’t want me out here, but he never said a word.”
“You used to sleep out here sometimes,” I said. “Did you still do that after I left?”
Seth turned my way but he didn’t say anything. He had to have known that I knew. Or maybe he thought that the pillow and sleeping bag I started keeping out here had just been my twelve-year old, girly touch on the place. I had told Mom about it. She’d told me that boys would be boys. She assured me that Seth was probably just looking for a little adventure. As I grew older, I realized he wasn’t looking for adventure. He was looking for an escape.
At the time, I had thought he was so brave, sleeping in the dark, all alone. Later I realized his fears didn’t lie outdoors, but in.
“We should probably go,” he said. “It’s freezing out.”
I wanted to scoop my words up and shovel them back inside. Seth had made it clear, time and again, that there were things in the past that he just was not going to talk about. And again, I’d managed to bring up a topic that was taboo. I debated saying something else. I was afraid I was going to make it worse, so I kept my mouth shut.
CHAPTER 12
Dad blushed. He actually blushed. It was kind of…endearing.
“Dad, if you want to spend the weekend away with Paula, do it. I’m seventeen. I’m capable of staying home alone.” I pushed my plate away and so did he. Only a hint of the omelets he’d made for us remained.
He narrowed his eyes at me in disapproval. “Exactly. You’re only seventeen.” He paused. “Did Charlotte leave you home alone often?”
The honest answer would’ve been yes. A day here and a weekend there added up over the years. She hadn’t wanted to leave me alone for extended lengths of time. Like, oh say, the out of country business trips she thought she’d be taking. But for a night or two while she’d gone away for a conference, she hadn’t given a second thought to doing that. I felt the correct answer was to tell Dad something else entirely.
“Not too often but yes, I’ve stayed home alone.” For a moment, his expression turned thunderous, so I hurried on. “Look, Dad, all I’m saying is that if you want to go, I’ll be fine.”
The moment he’d walked through the door, I had known something was up. He’d placed an envelope on the counter. It had the logo of Ridgecrest Ski Resort in the upper left hand corner. After some prodding he admitted that some time ago, he’d made a reservation for Valentine’s weekend. Now, he was wondering if he should cancel. I could tell he didn’t want to do that to Paula. Yet, he was clearly also feeling guilty over leaving me here by myself.
He was a man conflicted. It didn’t suit him.
So far, during the month that I’d been back, we’d fallen into a comfortable, unspoken routine. Most weeknights, we were both home. He’d sprawl out in his recliner, I’d sit on the floor, my homework spread out in front of me. On occasion, Paula would join us. I actually would’ve been okay with her joining us more than she had. Yet I knew it was her way of giving Dad and I time to reconnect. The weekends were typically a different matter
.
At first, he’d wanted to hang out. Rent movies, possibly go skiing like we had when I was much younger, and maybe even go to a play. However, I wanted to spend the weekends with my friends. I’d been pretty sure that he’d wanted to spend his weekends with Paula. After a quick but candid discussion, we decided that for the most part, we’d go our separate ways on the weekends.
This Saturday morning, however, we were having breakfast together. I was pretty sure it was his way of making up for leaving shortly. He and Paula had decided to go to Ridgecrest for the day. Apparently this is what had prompted him to dig out his reservation confirmation letter.
“Seriously, Dad, go,” I pressed. I knew that if I wasn’t living here, this would not be an issue. The last thing I wanted to do was cause any issues between him and Paula. “I’m fine alone but if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll ask Gabby or Alyssa if they can stay.”
His shoulders started to visibly relax. I decided to give him another little emotional nudge.
“I like Paula. She seems really nice.”
It worked.
He grinned at me. “Yeah?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“I’m glad you think so. She’s uh…I uh…” For the first time ever, my Dad seemed to be at a loss for words.
“Dad,” I said, as I folded my arms on the table in front of me and plastered a serious look on my face, “are you in love with this lady?”
He gave me a sheepish look. “Yeah, yeah I kind of am.”
“Then do not disappoint her. Keep your reservation! Have fun!” I said it all with a bit too much enthusiasm.
Dad laughed. “Fine, we’ll go. If you’re sure.”
“I’m positive. But now, now you should probably get out of here. It’s a long drive up to Ridgecrest Resort. If you don’t leave now, you’re going to be late. I know you’re supposed to be at Paula’s in twenty minutes.”
“Okay, okay,” he said as he pushed away from the table.
*****
I was rearranging my closet, yet again, when the phone rang. I glanced at the clock. Seth was supposed to be here in less than an hour. I had three outfits spread across my bed. I was rummaging through my clothes, trying to find a few more alternatives. Even though I’d been here a while now, I hadn’t even come close to wearing all of the outfits Mom had purchased for me. I was almost positive she’d gotten me one of every sweater and pair of jeans that Whittington’s carried. While that may not seem like a bad problem to have, at the moment, I was feeling overwhelmed by it all.
I pushed the hanger aside and bounced down the staircase to the kitchen.
A glance at the Caller ID let me know that it was Dad.
“Yes?” I said, drawing out the word. He was supposed to be enjoying a day on the slopes, not checking in with me.
“Harper,” he said, his voice tense, “I’m in a bit of a bind.”
All teasing dropped from my tone. “What’s wrong?”
“We’ve been caught in an ice storm. It moved in pretty quickly. We went in for an early dinner. By the time we came out, it had gotten pretty bad. We loaded up right away. We made it a few miles but the roads are glare ice,” he said. “We had to turn around.”
“So you’re still at Ridgecrest?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said. “I’m in the lobby. They have a room available for us but I wanted to check in with you first.”
“Take it,” I said. The resort was a two hour drive on a good day. On roads that were glare ice, in the dark…I shook my head at the thought. “Seriously, Dad, take the room. It’s not worth risking the drive.”
A heavy sigh slammed through the phone line. “That means you’re going to be home alone.”
“Didn’t we decide just this morning that I can be left home alone?” I pointed out.
“Yes, but that’s when I thought I’d have a few weeks to get used to the idea,” he grumbled.
“I’ll be fine. Seriously, take the room before they sell out. You need to think about Paula too.”
“I suppose you’re right,” he relented. “But I want you to cancel your date with Seth.”
“What? No,” I said in a tone that was on the edge of a whine.
“Yes. The storm is headed toward Woodbury. I don’t want you to get into town and get stuck there.”
I had wandered over to the dining room window while he was talking. He was right, the storm was moving in. Already, the window pane was dotted with sleet. As the sun continued to set, the temperature would drop. The sleet would freeze into a layer of ice on the road.
“Okay, I won’t leave the house,” I agreed. “We’ll just do something here.”
Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. I was met with a few moments of silence. When Dad spoke again, he sounded stressed.
“I do not want him spending the night.”
“Dad! This is our first date! What kind of girl do you think I am?” I asked, sounding appropriately offended.
“I know. But he’s a—”
“—guy,” I finished for him. “I got that. But really, you can trust me. We’ll just stay here instead of going into town. I’ll send him home at a decent hour.”
“Your curfew is midnight. I don’t want him to stay much later than that.”
“Okay.”
“I’m trusting you,” Dad said.
“Got it,” I replied.
“Love you.”
“Love you too. See you tomorrow.”
After we hung up, I called Seth to let him know I wasn’t allowed to go into town. He sounded disappointed at first but when I asked if he wanted to come over instead, he immediately agreed.
I finally chose an outfit. I settled on a pair of jeans and a pale blue sweater that I hoped complemented my blue eyes. I left my hair down and touched up my make-up one final time before heading into the kitchen. In less than ten minutes, I managed to put together something for dinner.
I slid the pan into the oven just a few minutes before the doorbell rang.
“Hey,” Seth said as he stepped inside. “I hope you don’t mind that I grabbed these.” He held up a stack of Will Ferrell movies. “No offense, but your selection just wasn’t that great.”
“That’s perfect,” I said as I took them from him.
“Your Dad was right. It’s getting pretty nasty out there,” he said as he tossed his coat onto the wrought iron coat stand. “I think this was a good call.”
“I’m sorry about missing the game.”
He shrugged. “It’s fine. I was just going to get the tickets when we got there. So I’m not out anything.” His gaze wandered toward the kitchen. Since we had been planning on dinner out, I’d assumed he hadn’t eaten when I’d called to tell him about the change in plans. I had offered to make something.
“Homemade pizza,” I said in response to his questioning gaze. “Canadian bacon and black olive? I hope that’s okay. I was going for fast and easy.”
“Sounds good. I’m starving,” he sheepishly replied.
When the pizza was done, we carried our plates downstairs. Seth picked out a movie from his stack and turned it on. By the time we were done eating, our attention had already drifted away from the TV.
“Have you heard from your mom lately?” Seth asked.
“She called again the other night. She said that she assumed once I had time to think about it, I’d do the right thing,” I was sitting on the couch, cross-legged, facing Seth.
“By that she meant you would do what she wanted you to do.”
“Exactly. I ended up giving the phone to Dad. He left the room. I’m not exactly sure what he said to her, but she hasn’t called back. I did tell her it would be pointless to make me move again. I turn eighteen in April and I’ll just move back.”
He gave me a crooked smile. “You like it here that much?”
“I wish I’d never moved in the first place. I don’t think a day went by when I didn’t think of you,” I admitted.
He studied my face for a
moment. “Really?”
“Really,” I said with a small smile. “Of course, that could be because I had a picture of you on my nightstand. It was the last thing I saw every night before I turned my lamp off.”
He laughed at that. “The Halloween picture? The same one you had on your nightstand when you lived here?”
The picture had been on my nightstand since first grade. It was the year we’d convinced our moms we were old enough to go trick or treating by ourselves. We’d walked around the loop that made up Idyllic Acres. We carried plastic jack-o'-lantern buckets to collect our candy. Our moms trailed just far enough behind to make us feel like we were on our own. I’d gone as an angel, Seth as a devil. I could still remember our moms joking about our costumes because really, they should’ve been the other way around. I never thought twice about doing things I might get into trouble for. While Seth had always been quiet and well-behaved.
“Yeah, that one,” I said with a laugh. “I can’t believe you remember which picture was on my nightstand.”
“I can’t believe you still have the picture. We were six!”
“I love that picture,” I said sincerely.
“Do you know what picture I like?”
“I have no idea.”
“Our sixth grade Halloween picture.”
I had to think about that for a moment. Then I started to laugh. Fifth grade was supposed to be our last year trick or treating. We’d managed to wheedle our way into one last time in sixth grade. Seth had gone as a hockey player. I’d gone as a cheerleader. It was the only other year that we’d coordinated our outfits.
“I have a copy of it in my desk drawer,” he admitted.
He nodded as I raised questioning eyebrows at him. “Yeah,” he said in answer to my silent question. “Your skirt was awfully damn short. I think I stopped to tie my shoe at least twice that night just to get a better look at the view.”
“You did not,” I said as I playfully smacked him.
“Well, if I didn’t, I should have,” he teased back. Our laughter faded off before he spoke again. “I thought about you a lot too.”