It was funny, as many times as he’d told her the very same thing, for the first time, Helena found herself believing it. Here, in Xavier’s arms, she was beautiful. No one judged her, and no one cared where she’d come from.
The man reached for the zipper on her dress, pulling it downward to expose the line of her spine. When the tight fabric parted, she felt like she could draw a decent breath for the first time all night, and she told him so, drawing a chuckle from him as he peeled the silk down her torso. “I think it was well worth it.” His breath fell hotly against her almost bare breasts. Magda had lent her some ridiculous little objects she called chicken cutlets to preserve her modesty as the cut of her dress made it impossible for her to wear a bra. She wondered vaguely if Xavier had bought her this particular dress with such a thing in mind a moment before he unceremoniously peeled away one of her cutlets to take the tip of her breast between his teeth.
“Oh!” A little gasp of pleasure escaped Helena as she inadvertently arched into his touch. Xavier’s tongue circled the pebbled tip of her nipple as he drew upon it hungrily, the sensation making her toes curl. She moaned his name, her fingers sliding through his hair as she squirmed, rubbing her thighs against one another in concerted need. When Xavier nipped at the small bud, a soft cry escaped her, moments before he switched to its twin. Helena wanted to protest as he tossed her undergarments on the floor. She would have to return those to Magda – but she found she hardly cared.
Her entire form trembled as Xavier suckled and licked at her aureole, and she felt moisture gathering at the seam of her legs in anticipation. Biting her lip, she pressed his mouth more flush against her breast in a plea for more. She gasped as he obliged her with a few quick flicks of his tongue before releasing his treat. He raised his head to meet her gaze once more, licking his lips, and Helena’s womb contracted in almost painful want.
He reached down to shuck her dress over her hips and let it drop to the floor, urging her to step out of it before he took her hand to lead her into the living room. Helena glanced around the large space, her eyes widening. “No bedroom?” Her inquiry was cut off by a soft sound of surprise as Xavier scooped her up to toss onto the couch before beginning to undo the buttons of his shirt.
“We’ll get there, eventually.” His grin was the sexiest, most wicked thing she’d ever seen – and had her biting back a moan. When he finally stripped off the t-shirt beneath his button up, allowing her an unadulterated view of the chest she’d fantasized about for months, Helena felt her mouth dry. Xavier was pure, pale muscled perfection, from his broad shoulders to the slender definition of his waist.
“Dear God, that is not fair.” She squirmed, suddenly self-conscious, as she covered her breasts. “I thought you were supposed to be a nerd.”
He smirked, raising a knee to place on the couch between her legs as he took hold of her ankle to slide her along the length of the leather until her hips rested on either side of his. “I’m a nerd that likes the gym.” He took her hands, raising them from her chest to kiss the palm of each before placing them atop his head. Then, he returned to his feasting on her breasts.
Lying back against the couch, Helena writhed and squirmed as her nipples contracted into tight, needy peaks a moment before Xavier released them to begin raining kisses down the center of her abdomen. He paused briefly at each hip bone, nipping at the protrusions he found there, before his fingers hooked beneath the cotton fabric of her panties to slide them down her legs and onto the carpet.
Immediately, Helena’s hands untangled themselves from his hair to cover the nest of curls at the crux of her legs in embarrassment. “Xavier, I- no.” She swallowed thickly, trying to be firm. No small feat when her entire body was quivering in sensation and she wanted him so badly it was hard to form coherent sentences. “Not there.”
The blue-eyed man arched a brow before the corner of his mouth kicked up in a sinful smile. “Are you sure? You might like it.”
That’s what she was afraid of. That she would like it too much. Slowly, she shook her head. Xavier shrugged. “Alright then.” Rising onto one knee, he made to stand up and Helena breathed a sigh of relief – a moment before the man’s hands unexpectedly spanned her waist, turning her over onto her stomach to display the glistening folds of her womanhood to him. In a smooth motion, Xavier’s fingers curled into her behind, parting her before his tongue swiped over her damp folds in a long lap.
Helena shrieked before burying her face in a leather cushion in embarrassment. Xavier, however, didn’t relent. His mouth covered her as he proceeded to do ridiculous things with his tongue – things that soon had her begging for mercy as evidence of her obvious enjoyment slicked her thighs. No man had ever kissed her there – and now, she thought Xavier might be spoiling her for anyone else. She muffled her moans and cries against his sofa, her eyes tightly shut as she tried not to destroy the damn thing with the strength of her grip.
She felt the heat inside her burning brighter and brighter as her completion built, hurtling her towards a peak faster than she’d ever thought possible. Helena tried to tell Xavier – tried to warn him – but before she could, a sharp gasp escaped her as she tumbled over the precipice, her entire body shuddering with the strength of her orgasm. Pleasure coursed through her body, and she clung to the sofa desperately, trying to keep herself anchored in the corporeal.
It seemed to last for an eternity, but finally, she floated back down to earth to find herself lying absolutely boneless, face down against warm leather. A low sound of protest escaped her as Xavier gently turned her back onto her back, his eyes glittering in triumph. “You were saying?” His voice was low and husky, his tongue darting out to clean his lips of the moisture she’d left there.
Helena flushed scarlet. Luckily enough, the man didn’t let her embarrassment linger very long. When he leaned down to kiss her, she could taste herself on his tongue, and Helena shivered. Xavier’s hand crept between them and she moaned as he found her slick lower lips, rubbing teasingly back and forth over the seam of her. “Ready, sweetheart?” He murmured softly against her lips.
Helena arched against his fingers, reaching desperately for the button of his slacks. “I’ve been ready for weeks.” She admitted unabashedly, making him smile before he raised his head to place a warm kiss against her forehead. The young woman’s fingers undid his pants before pushing them and his boxer-briefs down eagerly. When his erection sprang free to bob against his taut abdomen, Helena forgot how nervous she’d been about the size of him. She forgot everything except the pressing need to have him inside her.
Her fingers wrapped around the scalding heat of his shaft, drawing him forward until the tip of his erection rested against the slick warmth of her entrance. Xavier maneuvered his hand until his thumb pressed gently against the small bud of pleasure above her opening before he took her hip with his opposite hand, pushing forward and into her tight, dark haven.
Helena moaned, long and low, as he filled her almost to the point of discomfort – long and thick and utterly devastating. When his hips finally rested against hers, her thighs quivered in sensation and her breath came in short pants as her hands pressed against his chest. Xavier withdrew, pressing forward once more, and the friction drew a gasp from her. Reaching up, Helena curled her fingers behind his neck, tugging him down to press her mouth against his as she arched her hips against him in a plea for more.
Was this what sex was supposed to feel like? Was this how wanted it made you feel – the intimacy that it signified? Shuddering, Helena clung to Xavier, wanting him deeper, faster, and everything in between. The dark-haired man buried his face in her shoulder, groaning as he rubbed at her clit gently in time with his thrusts.
At the ensuing sensation, Helena cried out, her toes curling as she gripped his shoulders tightly. Xavier kissed up and down the length of her neck, each motion of his hips more forceful than the last, filling her with such perfection that she soon begged him for the completion that loomed large before her.
When the man’s hands slipped backward to curl into her behind, pulling her flush against him so his next thrust pressed so deep she swore she could feel him touch the very core of her, Helena came apart.
Crying his name, she clung to him as her body quivered like a bow that had just loosed a shaft, her inner muscles milking him as she came again, her lips parted and eyes closed with the force of the delectation that crashed over her. Xavier groaned loudly, his hips jerking against hers, and the sudden, warm spill of him within her made her moan almost deliriously. His warm, heavy weight bore her to the couch, and, as silence settled around them, Helena couldn’t ever remember being more content.
Long minutes passed before either of them recovered. Then, slowly, Xavier lifted his head to gaze down at her with a lazy grin that brought a soft laugh to her lips.
“Well, don’t look so satisfied with yourself.” He pecked her forehead, each cheek, and then finally, kissed her properly. The gesture long and lingering. When he pulled back to meet her eyes once more, his smile was still firmly in place.
“This has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with you.” His hand settled under her jaw as a slender thumb stroked over her cheek. Xavier seemed to hesitate for a moment, before his eyes grew soft. “Helena, I love you.”
The young woman stared at him, hardly daring to believe her ears. She was suddenly assaulted by a profusion of emotions, ranging from elation to terror, as she registered the seriousness in his eyes.
He loved her? How the hell had that happened? She’d given him no reason? She’d been nothing but snarky and degrading – had teased and annoyed him. She’d fallen firmly into the place where a friend would linger, but never cross over to be anything more.
And yet, here they were – he still deep within her, and gazing at her in a way that she’d never imagined any man could.
He loved her.
And God help her, she loved him too.
Chapter Five: All That Matters
Helena came awake the next morning slowly. She cracked her eyes open to be greeted with an alarm clock that read seven thirty – but most certainly wasn’t her own. It took her a moment to work herself out of the profoundly deep sleep she was in, and to remember all that had happened the previous night.
When the memories started to flood back, her lips curved into a smile. Usually, she would have been up late into the night studying, but last night, Xavier had kept her up for a very different reason.
The man hadn’t been satisfied with having her only one time – oh no. Nor with twice. In fact, she was pretty sure they had explored every surface in Xavier’s household, from his kitchen to his laundry room and back again. By the time they finally made their way to the bed, as he’d promised, she was exhausted, and deliciously sore. Helena had knocked out without a second thought, and surprisingly, she had slept the entire night without stirring. Now, she rose carefully, turning over to look down at the man beside her.
He was absolutely beautiful.
She didn’t think she’d ever seen Xavier with his guard down, so this was a rare vision. He was sprawled over the majority of the bed, and she’d slept cradled in one of his arms. His hair was mussed over the pillow, jaw slack in slumber, the sheets riding low on his hips to expose his magnificent chest. His skin was milky pale – badly in need of a tan but she didn’t dare tell him that. He’d told her once how much he adamantly hated being out in the sun for long periods of time and she wasn’t setting out to try and change that.
Reaching out, she gently trailed her fingertips over his abdomen and up to his chest. There, she could feel the strong rhythm of his heartbeat.
Last night, this man’s parents had all but called her trash. They told her she’d never go anywhere or do anything because she was bound by where she’d come from. And he had defied them, taking her home, sharing his body with her.
Telling her he loved her.
Her smile fading, the young woman retracted her hand.
Though she couldn’t deny that the words gave her a certain measure of elation, they also scared her absolutely breathless.
She had lost everyone she had ever loved. Her mother, who had refused to accept her even after she’d tried for sixteen years. Her father, who had never stopped loving her, but had been taken from her far too soon.
Helena was terrified. She couldn’t love Xavier, because to love him inevitably meant to lose him. It would be a mistake, wouldn’t it? Their lives were headed in different directions anyhow. He wanted to work on his IT business while she was bound for med school. Sure, he felt like she meant something to him now, but that would soon change.
If there was one thing Helena had learned in her life, it was that everything changed.
Slowly, carefully, she made her way from the bed, standing, bare, over Xavier’s sleeping form. She felt tears beginning to well and swallowed her grief. Quietly, she made her way around the apartment, gathering up her clothes from the night before. She was lucky that she’d brought a t-shirt and shorts in her bag and changed into them, picking up the gorgeous dress that Xavier had bought her to lay across his couch, smoothing the fabric fondly. As much as she had complained, the garment had really looked stunning on her.
But she could never keep it. Just like she could never keep him.
Making sure she had all of her things, Helena left his apartment quietly, closing the door behind her. She was lucky enough to have woken well before her first class, and if she was lucky, she could get some studying in. Even though she knew that no amount of reading would be able to erase last night from her mind, it might start the slow process of coming to terms with reality.
And all that lie ahead of her.
She had reached the bottom of the staircase and was reaching into her bag to call a cab when a strong arm wound around her waist and a foul smelling hand covered her mouth, jerking her back into the shadows before she could cry out. Helena’s heart leapt into her throat and she struggled immediately, trying to break free as panic enveloped her.
What the hell? She was in the middle of one of the ritziest apartment complexes in town? Who would be idiotic enough to try to hurt her in broad daylight in front of the modern gentry?
“Shh, shh!”
All at once, Helena froze. A small, thin figure stepped out of the shadows and into the light, and the young woman’s heart plunged into her stomach.
It was her mother, looking more worn and haggard than ever. She had somehow lost her shoes in the six months that they hadn’t seen each other, and half of her teeth were rotted clear out of her mouth. She could make out such details because the woman was smiling.
In triumph.
She had obviously gotten someone to do her dirty work for her, as it was quite clearly a man that held Helena captive – and a strong one at that. The pervasive smell that emanated from him clearly pronounced him an addict as well – and it was that moment in which the young woman knew that she was in very real trouble. “Hey, baby.” Stepping forward, her mother patted her cheek lightly. “It’s been a while.”
There was nothing Helena could think to say – and even if she had, her words would have been muffled. “I miss you so much, honey.” Janette affirmed, running her dirty fingers through her daughter’s hair. “You have to come home with me. I need you.”
It didn’t look like Helena would be getting a choice this time. The man holding her lifted her clear from her feet to drag her behind the last row of apartment buildings, towards a waiting, beat-up van. Helena’s eyes widened as she realized that her own mother truly intended to kidnap her. That she would lose everything that she had worked so hard to achieve in the blink of an eye.
And all because she’d left Xavier’s bed in a bid not to hurt him.
Closing her eyes, she let the tears flood down her cheeks.
Everything changed.
**
When Xavier woke up alone, he tried not to take Helena’s absence too hard. He liked to think that he knew her pretty well, and in knowing
her, he’d long discovered that she needed time to undergo any sort of change. It had taken her a month to allow him to kiss her, and six months after that until he’d finally gotten to see her in the heights of passion.
And oh what a sight she had been.
He lay in bed for hours after waking, unable to leave as he let the memories from the previous night wash over him. He’d made love to Helena…admitted feelings that, if he was frank with himself, he had to say had been present within weeks of getting to know her. Now that they were in the open air, he supposed he should have expected Helena to be somewhat uncomfortable. He didn’t doubt that there had probably been a fair amount of men who had loved her in her lifetime. She was just so absorbed in reaching her goals that she tended to pass them by.
But she hadn’t passed him by, and for the moment, he could revel in that fact alone. Larger professions, perhaps, could come later.
Around noon, he woke up and began preparing a small meal before his first class. When he found Helena’s dress draped against the back of the couch, he smiled, shaking his head. She’d been well and truly adamant about not keeping it. He was sure that, given some time, he’d be able to persuade her otherwise.
He hung the dress neatly in the closet behind his own clothes before beginning his morning routine. He’d be lying if he didn’t admit that he’d much prefer to shower with Helena. He’d love to introduce her to shower sex and all therein implied. He groaned as he left the bathroom with a very prominent erection and told himself to bury his lust for the moment. No doubt Helena would want to talk about what had happened between them, and he would be in no fit state to do such a thing if he was pitching a tent in his pants.
Once Xavier was dressed, he left his apartment, hurrying down the stairs towards his car. If he was late, Lachey was going to eat him for breakfast…
A Kiss of Color: A BWWM Interracial Romance (Book 1) Page 8