by Celia Aaron
I plucked at the edge of my panties, pulling them away from my hip. Then I looked at him through my lashes. “Do you think I’d have to go without panties in that dress. Did you see a line?”
He licked his lips. “I-I think—” His voice had lowered two octaves in the space of ten seconds.
When I saw his boner at war with the front of his skinny pants, I laughed. “So busted. Quit ogling my pussy, and go entertain my mom.”
“What?” He cleared his throat and raised his voice into a nasal pitch again. “Oh, vaginas are so icky. I would never—”
“Tell it to your boner.” I crossed my arms over my chest and gave his crotch a pointed stare.
He dropped the act. “Look, I make good money this way, okay? When I played it straight, women never took my style advice. Style is my life, and this is the only way I can be around it and make money at it. Please don’t say anything.”
Guilt filtered through me, and I dropped my arms. “I’m not judging. Well, I’m not now, anyway. I was just messing with you.”
He smiled a little. “What gave me away?”
“Your roving eye.”
“I’ve been trying to work on that, but when I see a beautiful woman.” He gestured at me. “I can’t help it sometimes.”
An idea struck me like a wild pitch. “You get the inside scoop on designer clothes and what the customers come in here looking for all the time, right?”
He ran his thumbs up and down his bright pink suspenders. “Yeah. It’s kind of my job.”
“I’ll tell you what—wait, what’s your name?”
“Cyrano.”
I rolled my eyes. “No, your real name.”
His shoulders drooped. “Cyrus.”
“Okay, Cyrus. You agree to let me interview you for my magazine, and I won’t tell everyone what a true pussy-fiend you are. Sound like a deal?”
“Magazine?” He twirled his mustache.
“I work for Style and Substance.”
His eyes lit up, and he grabbed my upper arms. “Are you shitting me?”
I shook my head. “Not even a little shitting. Not so much as a shart.”
“Yes!” He nearly shouted. Then he ran his hands down my arms. “Sorry about that. It’s just, that’s my favorite fashion mag. It’s so down-to-earth but also classy beyond belief.”
His enthusiasm had my mind whirling in all different directions, but first things first.
“Good.” I plucked one of his business cards from the front pocket of his plaid shirt. “I’ll be in touch, Cyrano.”
After Mom bought the ruffle dress and then guilted the quinceañera dress on me, despite my protests, we finally left Saks and meandered around some other high-end shops. She picked out some obscenely expensive bags and shoes, then we stopped to eat at one of the upscale restaurants within the shopping center.
“We have a reservation. Graves.” Mom handed her bags to the maître d, as if it were perfectly acceptable to treat restaurant staff like bell hops.
He paused for a moment, then took her bags and passed them off to another server for safekeeping. “Right this way, Mrs. Graves.”
We followed him through a sea of tables covered in white cloths and fresh floral arrangements.
“One of your number has already arrived.” He stepped aside and showed us to a table. Carter sat facing me, his eyes traveling down the length of my body.
Irritation rose inside me, and I hissed into Mom’s ear, “What the hell are you doing?”
“Having lunch.” She took the only chair across the round table from Carter, forcing me to either sit at his side or skip lunch. Since option two simply wasn’t something I was prepared to do, I grabbed the chair next to Carter and yanked it away from him. I sat between the two of them, not sure who I should glare at the hardest.
“You look beautiful.” Carter gave a self-satisfied smile. He wore a light green button-down shirt, the collars cuffed to give an air of ease.
Instead of relaxed, I was on edge. I ordered a glass of wine from the first server I saw and settled in to play the silent game.
“How was shopping?”
I stared at him, my lips pressed together in childish rebellion. It may have been juvenile, but it felt so good to see his cheery demeanor fade each second I refused to respond.
Mom cut in, “We found some lovely things. Nikki has a few new dresses, and one was particularly gorgeous on her. Pink has always been her color.”
Carter smirked. “I’ve always liked pink, too, especially since Nikki wears it so well.” He smoothed his hand along my thigh under the table.
Mom, completely oblivious, took a drink of her wine as our server placed a small loaf of baguette on the table.
I slapped Carter’s hand away and stood. It hurt to give up on a free lunch, but I couldn’t deal with them anymore. Their plotting was beginning to feel like a dry dick in my ass.
“I think I’ll get a cab home.”
“Nikki, darling—”
“No, I’ve had enough.” I grabbed my wine glass and downed it, then snatched the crusty bread and the little butter dish that came with it. Some things were sacred, after all.
I turned and stormed out, ignoring my mother’s embarrassed pleas. The shopping center was built like a town center, with cobblestone streets and stores lining each side. As soon as I left, the sun hit me, along with the smell of popcorn and freshly mowed grass. If I closed my eyes, it was as if I were at the ballpark with Braden out in front of me, smiling and going to work. My heart felt suddenly lighter than it had the past few days.
I ripped the bread in half and dug it into the whipped butter before taking a huge bite. The baguette was buttery and warm, and stealing it was by far the best decision I’d made in weeks.
I walked a few more steps and readied to take another bite when a hand gripped my elbow almost painfully. Carter whipped me around, sending my bread and butter flying onto the cobblestones. Unforgiveable.
“Hey, fucker—”
He pressed me into a kiss and wrapped his arms around me, caging me against his body. I yelled into his mouth, and he took the opportunity to sink his tongue deep enough to make me gag. He bent me backward, and I clutched at him to try and keep my balance. I would knee him as soon as I got the chance, and he would know to never touch me again.
“Nikki?” Braden’s voice cut through my anger, and before I had the chance to use my knee, Carter was on his back.
BRADEN
I HOBBLED AROUND the store, trying to wrap my head around why everything was so expensive.
“Yes, ma’am. Can you tell me about this here Louis Pee Dong number?” Kasey winked at me, and then smiled at the sales lady.
I almost doubled over until my knee buckled. Fuck. It wasn’t getting any better, and it’d been days since the game.
“It’s Louis Vuitton, and it’s probably out of your price range.” The woman snidely told Kasey.
“You’re lucky you look hot as balls in that skirt. So I’m going to let that one slide.” Kasey waved a flippant hand at the woman and then walked over to me. “You sure this is Nik’s favorite shit? It’s ugly as fuck and the price of a car. It looks like someone shit Shakespeare font all over the side of it.”
“Maybe your car,” the sales lady muttered and walked back over to the counter.
Kasey’s head whipped around. “She’s got ‘tude. And a hot ass. I’m gonna make her hum ‘Louis Vuitton’ on the ol’ clitty bean later.”
“Can you focus? This was your idea. You’re going to get us kicked out, and this is the only place that sells Nik’s favorite shit.” I scowled but wanted to laugh. She was so going to turn that sales lady out later.
“Fine, Braden. Fuckin’ A, sir. You’re lucky I like you.” Kasey walked over to the counter. Though she was the most vulgar person in the entire store, she was also likely the hottest. Tall for a girl, and with blonde hair that plenty of women would kill for, she had a graceful body but a sailor’s mouth. I hoped she would turn
on the charm and make the entire process smoother.
She leaned against the counter. “What’s your name, my pretty?”
The sales lady glanced up. “Gwen.” Her tone warmed a bit.
Kasey leaned closer to her, almost conspiratorially. “Lookie here, lovely Gwen. I apologize, for, you know, making fun of your fancy-ass bags, and the name of your store, and a number of other transgressions I’ve yet to commit. But here’s the thing—my friend over there—” she tilted her head toward me, “—he looks like a derelict, hobbling around like a homeless ass-bag. But, he’s actually a Major League baseball player who just doesn’t know how to dress properly. He had a split with his woman, and he’s trying to get her back. Can you help us pick something?” Kase moved closer and whispered something magical, because Gwen’s cheeks turned pink before she smiled and walked over to me.
Kasey followed behind her and gave me a thumbs up with a giant smile plastered across her face.
Gwen’s heels clacked against the tile floor. I glanced around, wondering what the price of all the bags in the store would add up to.
“So, I understand you’re looking for something for a woman?”
How did Kasey always pull this shit off? One minute, women would be disgusted, and the next they were spreading their legs for her.
“Yes, I kind of screwed up.”
“Kind of?” She put her hands on her hips.
“I fucked up big, okay? Help me?” I held my hands up as a peace offering, and she grinned.
“Well, I need to know what you’re wanting your gift to express.”
“I might be trad—” I paused and collected my thoughts. Trade information wasn’t common knowledge, especially amongst the fans. I didn’t think the woman knew anything about baseball, but I had to be careful all the same. “We may be traveling a lot. Away games and stuff. I thought if I got her some new luggage, it would suggest I want her to go with me.”
“Well, I think that’s sweet.”
“Like your ass.” Kasey was a few feet away running her finger across a bag and checking it for dust.
Gwen’s face turned a brighter pink. “Your friend is a trip.”
“She’s something all right. Anyway, can you help me?” I brushed my clammy hands on my jeans.
“Right this way.”
We walked over to a corner where an entire luggage set was on display. She waved a hand through the air, and the pitch in her voice changed to that of a game show announcer. “This is our top-of-the-line collection. She would love this set. It has three different sized trolley cases, travel bag, cosmetic pouch, toiletry kit, and jewelry case. All the highest quality luggage you can own. She would travel in style and turn heads.”
I scrubbed a hand over my chin. “What do you think, Kasey?”
Kasey stood there ogling Gwen’s ass in her skirt. “Yeah, yeah. Sure.”
Fuck me. I’m on my own.
“So what’s something like this run?” I shook my head at Kasey, and she shrugged, then I turned back to Gwen.
“This set is twenty thousand, and comes with a lifetime warranty.”
I coughed and choked out a few words. “I’m sorry, twenty thousand? American dollars?”
Kasey glared in my direction. “You wanted a grand gesture, right?”
Gwen smiled, as though the lifetime warranty somehow justified the price tag.
I stood there for a moment, staring at all the fucking bags that supposedly would get Nikki back. I turned to Kasey. “You’re sure this will work?” I was willing to pay ten times that much if it meant Nik was back in my life and happy.
“Nothing is one hundred percent. But if you still have a shot, this will do it.” It was the most serious Kasey had been all day.
“Fuck it. Ring them up.”
“Yolo, motherfucker!” Kasey held out a fist.
I tapped my knuckles on hers.
Gwen clapped her hands and practically skipped back to the counter. Kasey seized on the opportunity and smacked her on the ass, eliciting a squeal and a smile.
“This is so romantic.” Gwen tapped buttons on a screen with her bright red nails while Kasey leaned on the counter.
“It sure is. I may let you buy me dinner with your lotto winnings from this sale.” Kasey looked over at me and hip thrusted the counter while Gwen kept ringing things up.
“I may just take you up on that offer.” Gwen smiled, and continued typing in the sales information.
Kasey nudged me and whispered in my ear, “Looks like I’ll be nomming the pink taco later.”
“Thanks, motherfucker, it only cost me twenty grand.” My brows lowered as I glared at her.
“Hey, don’t hate on me for piggybacking some sweet pussy love onto the deal. Hater.”
“You realize I can hear both of you, right?” Gwen looked up at us.
I pulled out my wallet and handed my credit card to Gwen.
“Oh, don’t act like you don’t want me to Michael Phelps that pussy.” Kasey tossed her golden hair over her shoulder.
I choked. When I looked behind me, there stood a family of four with their mouths agape. Breathing became difficult, and my face had to be bright pink. I whirled back around to catch a look of horror on Gwen’s face as Kasey continued to explain the Michael Phelps to her.
“It’s like the butterfly swim technique, see? You spread the legs wide, like you’re underwater.” She whipped both arms out like she just spread a pair of thighs on the counter. “And then you come up and down, like you’re swimming for the pink medallion.” She bobbed her head up and down as if she was coming up for air, and then diving back down between the hypothetical legs.
Gwen stared at me as if she were pleading for help, and slid my credit card across the counter, along with a receipt to sign. I scribbled my name down as fast as possible and mouthed ‘I’m sorry.’
“We’ll be going now.” The man and his family turned as the wife ear-muffed one of the children.
“Maybe if you Michael Phelps’d your wife once in a while, you wouldn’t be in here buying her some goddamn Louis Deepdong luggage. Pfft.” Kasey flipped the bird at the man’s back as he scooted his family out the front door.
“Yeah, I think we’ll be going too. Come on, Kase.” I grabbed the handles on Nik’s new luggage.
Gwen slid a business card across to Kasey. “Call me.”
“Oh, you’ll hear from me soon.” Kasey scooped up the card and shoved it in her pocket.
“Jesus Christ, you’re ridiculous.” I started toward the front of the store.
We walked through the glass double doors and out onto the sidewalk. I hobbled along, trying to drag the bags behind while Kasey strolled next to me at a leisurely pace.
“What the hell? You usually love it when I pick up chicks.”
“I’m nervous. What if this shit doesn’t work? I have to get her back.” I noticed a few people staring at me, and I tried to walk as normal as possible, ignoring the sharp pains radiating from my knee.
“Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood a little.” Kasey’s eyes darted around to the stores as we headed outside to the parking lot.
“Please. You’re just trying to tame that pussy in there.” I shot her a side eye.
“Oh, is my boyfriend finally getting back to normal? He can talk about pussy again?”
“Boyfriend?”
“Oh yeah, you’re my boyfriend when dudes hit on me. I use you as an excuse for anything I don’t want to do. I just assumed you’d know that. I love your cock. And your jizz. So, so hard.”
I nearly tripped from my sudden loss of focus before righting myself. “Jesus.” I shook my head at her while she laughed it up.
We crossed the street to my car and began loading the luggage in the back. “You’re a master of your craft. I’ll give you that.” I leaned over and gave her a peck on the forehead. “Thank you.”
She wrapped her arms around my bicep and squeezed. “You’re welcome. You know I always got your back.”
> Her grip on my arm tightened suddenly, and her body tensed. Weird. I looked down, and her eyes were wide. She tried to turn and look another way, but I glanced to what she’d been staring at. Nikki was walking out of a restaurant and taking a huge bite of what appeared to be a small loaf of bread. I could have sworn she had a butter dish in her other hand. Typical.
A wave of heat rushed through my limbs when I saw Agent Carter FistFuck walking up behind her. I shook Kasey from my arm and started in that direction.
“Let it go, Braden.” Kasey’s warning fell on my ears but didn’t register.
I heard Kasey’s feet pounding the pavement behind me.
“Fuck that. I’m getting to the bottom of this shit right fucking now.”
I hobbled across the street, not giving a shit that traffic had to stop for my jay-walk. When I reached the sidewalk, I started for them, bumping anyone in my path out of the way.
I couldn’t see Nikki because the tanned yuppie cunt was between us. I was about ten feet away when I watched the arrogant prick kiss Nik, damn near swallowing her face whole. My knee was about to give out, but I didn’t give two shits about that or Kasey trying to tug at my arm from behind.
Grabbing him by the back of the collar, I broke their kiss when I yanked him to the ground. I stumbled around in the process, damn near landing face first into the sidewalk myself.
Carter shot to his feet and flashed that shitty cockboy smirk of his. Kasey wedged herself between us.
Carter brushed the front of his shirt. “Oh, look, the jealous stalker boyfriend. What a surprise.”
“Shut your mouth, Carter!” Nikki turned to me. “What are you doing here, Braden? Are you following me?” She folded her arms across her chest.
“I was, umm—” I turned my gaze to Kasey who shrugged. “Why the fuck is he kissing you?” I pointed to Captain McGillicunty and his fake-ass surfer tan and blond boy-band hair.
“Wait? That’s your ex?” Kasey pointed at Carter and chuckled.
“Something funny, bitch?” Carter glared at Kasey.
Usually, I’d beat his fucking face in, but Kasey would handle that herself shortly. I started to feel sorry for the guy, because he was fucked after that slip of the tongue. My sympathy didn’t last long as I awaited the onslaught.