by Sam Destiny
She took off his sweater and shirt in one movement, making him wince when the material stuck to his bandage. She met his eyes and then wordlessly walked around him. Throwing his clothes carelessly aside, she peeled the bandage away from the fresh ink.
He closed his eyes as her finger traced what he knew to be the chain belonging to the dog tags and then, ever so gently, brushed over the new mark. It was burning slightly, but her cold fingers eased it almost instantly.
“The first time I looked I hadn’t even noticed those marks on the dog tags,” she whispered. “Jazz…” She was obviously counting them and he just closed his eyes, lowering his head. He knew the number by heart, especially with the latest addition still burning to remind him that he hadn’t taken the time to meet up with Cole another time.
“Twenty-one. Jazz, how long have you been in the Army?”
He just shrugged, knowing that some of his comrades had lost many more people in a lot less time.
She leaned in, embracing him from behind while kissing his back. He took her hands, kissing her fingertips slowly. She was not warming up and he worried that she was freezing. It might be California, but November still crept into the rooms, chilling them when you weren’t prepared yet. He was ready to wrap her into blankets, cuddle up with her in bed, but the way she brushed her lips over his skin just made his feet refuse to do their work.
“I wish … this night would never end,” he said, deciding against saying what he actually wanted to say; that he wished he had his own house so he could pretend they were just a conventional couple, even if it was for a few days only. He wanted to know that he’d wake up with her and then could make her breakfast before they’d hang out at the house, watching movies all day.
As it was, he had a room in one of the army barracks, and a pretty messy one at that, and he’d have to be back at work in less than ten hours. She’d have to leave and he’d only see her again in the evening. If that was what she wanted.
With a quick movement she obviously hadn’t expected from him in his buzzed state, he had her backed up against the door, kissing her hungrily. Never before had he understood how anyone could feel the need to mark their property, but suddenly he wanted to spread little kisses all over Tessa’s body, imprinting his lips on her skin. She wasn’t his and probably never fully could be his, but that didn’t keep him from wanting to possess her at least temporarily.
She kissed him back just as hard and he picked her up, knowing he was steady enough to bring her where he needed her now. Lowering her on the pillows he saw how she bit her lip and then pulled him close on his dog tags. He didn’t think long, actually pulling them off his neck and placing them around hers.
She stared at him in surprise and then almost tackled him to the bed. Maybe you didn’t always need words to convey what you were trying to say, and the way her eyes shone she definitely knew what he was trying to tell her.
Even if tomorrow he’d get hell for having ‘lost’ his tags, this absolutely was worth it and now he’d make sure that there was no doubt about where his heart was. He had lips to spread the love he couldn’t tell her about; hands to caress what meant the world to him and eyes to hold her gaze so she’d know exactly where they stood. As much as everything that had happened this day sucked, it was still amazing because it brought her back to him.
Chapter eleven
Jazz knew he should be tired. After all, he had spent his whole night making love to Tessa, only to fall asleep with her wrapped in his arms three hours prior to his shift. As it was, he was wide-awake though.
“Corporal Connor, you did not properly sign in your girlfriend last night.” Jazz moved away from the car he was working on, wiping his greasy fingers on a cloth before he stood and saluted to the Staff Sergeant that had just entered.
“Yes, Sir, I’m sorry, Sir,” he gave back.
“She never signed that form,” the Sergeant fussed.
“She can still do that, Sir. She’s up in my room and I wasn’t ready to wake her up. I told her to sign whenever she leaves. She has her ID at the front desk still, Sir,” he explained, taking a deep breath as he remembered how warm and soft Tessa had been this morning when he left. “Yesterday was a rather hard day for me and she thought she could offer some comfort,” he went on and the Staff Sergeant’s expression softened the tiniest bit.
“I heard about that, but, Corporal Connor, it doesn’t mean that rules don’t apply. You have been officially warned now. As well, I hear you lost your dog tags. How did that happen?”
Jazz had reported it first thing that morning because he knew that the longer he would have waited, the angrier the people would become. He only hoped Tessa would hide her new possession under her clothes. He had to bite his lip when he almost grinned as he remembered his tags against Tessa’s naked skin, the chain being the only thing she wore. It was so damn sexy and he finally could see the appeal of half-naked girls wearing them … as long as it was his girl wearing his tags.
“The chain probably tore apart. We had a drink to Private First Class Albert after our shift was over and I maybe didn’t hear them fall,” he told the Staff Sergeant and after being scrutinized for a full minute, the Staff Sergeant patted his shoulder.
“I’m sorry for your loss, but I cannot and will not tolerate behavior like that again,” he said and Jazz nodded.
“Thank you, Sir, and it won’t happen again,” Jazz promised.
“She really got under your skin, that girl, hasn’t she?” the Staff Sergeant wondered.
Jazz had no idea how to answer to that because he remembered too well the talk he had have with his Sergeant when he had just started to see Tessa.
“I’m not sure, Sir,” he gave back, opting for the vague answer.
“It’s good for you, boy. You are too young to devote your whole life to the Army. At least not without considered your options first. We need guys like you, but only after they have seen life and confirm that the Army is what they wanted. I will not lie though – we won’t refuse you if you still decide you don’t want to try out life. Either way, make sure to get your rules straight and make her sign in correctly next time,” the Staff Sergeant explained and Jazz saluted him again before thanking him another time and then being left alone.
They were doing only maintenance work that morning, changing oil, checking batteries and so on, making it an easy morning for Jazz. Tank strolled in too late, looking like shit.
“Oh boy, what happened to you?” Jazz asked and Tank picked up a brow.
“What happened to you? A hickey right where everyone can see it?” Tank reached out and brushed spot on Jazz neck that he probably hadn’t seen that morning because he had a towel around his neck while shaving and afterwards hadn’t checked the mirror again. It would explain the comment about Tessa having gotten under his skin though.
“Shit, I didn’t realize,” he answered, rubbing his neck. Obviously she had the same idea he had and so he pulled up his collar.
“Better. Before someone sees it and gives you hell for it,” Tank said and Jazz grinned guiltily.
“Already happened. Staff Sergeant Johnson was just here, but he didn’t say anything,” Jazz laughed, getting back to turn on all the lights in the jeep he was working on. The light was put on too low and he needed to fix that.
“Of course he didn’t. You’re the base’s damn golden boy,” Tank muttered and Jazz turned back to him.
“What’s up with you?” he wanted to know and Tank pulled a chair close. He seemingly didn’t plan on working that day and Jazz couldn’t even blame him. He was tempted to run up to his room and see if Tessa was still there.
“Okay, all the things I’m going to say between now and tonight … can’t ever be repeated to anyone. Seriously.”
Jazz arched a brow, thinking that this sure sounded interesting.
“First, that girl of yours made quite an impression last night. The other boys totally crush on her. She just came in and hugged everyone even though she’d never
met them before. That was pretty big.”
Jazz didn’t look up from the light switches, trying to hide his smirk. He couldn’t imagine how Tank felt about praising Tessa. “Yeah, I thought it was sweet, too,” he just said nonchalantly.
“It was just what everyone needed,” Tank admitted. “You said you didn’t call her up?”
Jazz shook his head, pausing for a moment.
“I told her I couldn’t see her because I drank and that maybe I’d see her soon. I didn’t even ask her about coming over because after her last messages I just wasn’t sure anymore what she wanted. I … needed her so bad last night, but again, I just didn’t think I should ask for it. Plus, it’s always hard to handle people who have lost someone. Seeing her at the gate just…” He shook his head another time, not finding the right words.
“She knew you needed her.”
“She was nervous. She thought I’d be angry about her showing up. It was clear on her face.” Boy, that had cut deep. He never once had wanted her to think that he didn’t want to see her, because it was probably the biggest lie on the planet. “I just stared at her. I couldn’t believe she had come.”
“She knew you needed her,” Tank repeated and finally Jazz looked at him.
“So?” he inquired and Tank looked down at his hands.
“She’s not your girlfriend, she didn’t grow up with you and she hasn’t known you longer than two weeks and yet she got in a car and came to give you exactly what you needed,” Tank mumbled, making Jazz wonder where he went with this. “You look much better this morning and I think she had everything to do with that.”
Of course that was the case. Jazz had been able to hold her again after not having seen her since the previous Sunday. “That hug she gave me at the gates made me feel as if I could shoulder everything as long as she was there. It was like a ray of sunshine in a damn dark world. I hate losing people, and you know that, but with her I feel as if I’d always be able to somehow come out stronger on the other end,” he said quietly, knowing what Tank would make of this.
“She knew you needed her,” Tank repeated a third time and Jazz growled in frustration. He had no idea what was up with Tank, but this was starting to piss her off.
“You said that before and I’d be pretty happy if you could finally spill all that’s going around in your head and that you obviously want me to know,” he fussed, trying to get a bolt loose that just seemed stuck.
“I’m saying that if she lived here I’d encourage you to marry her.”
Jazz’s hand slipped as his head shot up at Tank’s words. Cursing, he pulled out his thumb. It was bleeding, having been cut on some piece of metal.
“Are you still drunk, Tank?” he asked, walking close enough so he could smell his best friend’s breath. And really, the booze was evident.
“Shit, they can get you kicked out for this! Are you fucking stupid?”
“I’m not drunk, Jazz, don’t you see? No matter what we said last night, there was no chance for us to console you and yet, after she came, she carried part of your burden. I’m your best friend. We were supposed to carry that burden together, unless there ever would be ‘The One’ walking in. I didn’t think it could ever happen for you, because after all you were married to the Army, but she doesn’t even have to try! Don’t you see? It’s what I warned you about. I first figured it would do you good to shag her. But then Sunday I did the only right thing in telling you to pull back. I still think you should do that, but you’re in love with her, Jazz. What are you gonna do??”
Jazz had no idea. He couldn’t get around feeling as if Tank considered this something bad though. “I don’t know what you mean, okay?”
Maybe denial was the best course in this case. He could make some macho comment and…
“It was in the way you looked at her last night. Jazz, it was as if you couldn’t believe she was there. And frankly, neither could I. Like I said, if she lived here I’d tell you to get a ring and make this official, no matter how long and how well you know each other, but she’s not from here! Can you imagine the things you will go through once she is gone? Drunk nights, jealousy, worry and more drunk nights? Is this really how you want to live your life? With your luck you wouldn’t see her for over a year. By then you’d be in love with an idea only, and nothing else. She will have changed so much you probably won’t recognize her and…”
“I’m not considering a long-distance relationship with her, okay?” Jazz almost screamed, anger burning its way through his body. The impossibility of this was more than obvious to him, but that didn’t change anything. “She’s the girl. She would be the one suggesting it if she thought about it, right? Besides, she didn’t say anything about the way she feels about me, so I don’t think this will go beyond what we have now. Does that calm you down? Trust me though … I don’t plan on stopping to see her until she leaves. We don’t have much time and I will not waste it. I…”
“You won her heart, too. Why else would she show like that? Let the guys talk like that? Sit in a group she doesn’t know? How did you do it, Jazz?”
Jazz exhaled in confusion. Tank was going one hundred miles per second and constantly changing directions.
“How did I do what?” he asked. This talk sure was taking a toll on him. He hated to admit it, but maybe he preferred the macho-talks he usually had with Tank. At least then he knew what to expect.
“Make her look at you as if you hung the moon. Those pretty blue eyes just look up to you and then they shine. I don’t think she even knows all they that convey. With one touch you make her melt, and when you touch her cheek, she just leans into it, taking a deep breath. It’s … heart-warming. It’s incredible. It makes me sick …” Tank whispered and Jazz stared at him, ready to say something when Tank added more. “Sick with jealousy.”
From all the things Tank had ever said, this probably was the first that made Jazz truly speechless.
Entering Hilary’s house at nine in the morning was weird. Weirder though was the fact that besides Evy no one else was up.
“Morning, girl,” Evy said, her expression worrying Tessa. She didn’t want to hear another speech about how this was wrong and how Evy would have to be the one to pick up everything after Jazz left her broken.
“I…” Tessa started.
“Hilary’s ex came by last night. He made a pretty big scene. God, he’s an ass. I swear if you had been here I would have convinced you to join in and act as if you, Hilary and I are a couple. I probably would have made us dress in the hottest underwear we had. It was terrible,” Evy said before she got any further. “I planned on giving you a major talk about how you’re being ridiculous, but after seeing that last night I say go for it. We need a happy girl in this house and right now you’re probably the only one who receives enough kisses to be able to still pass out so much love we all get a little sparkle from you. Thank you.”
Tessa stayed in the door, staring at the person she was sure was her best friend, but wasn’t talking like that at all. “Okay, if I back up slowly now, do you promise to not exchange me for an alien like you did with my best friend?” she asked, slowly walking backwards.
“Stop being stupid, Tessie. You know exactly what I’m talking about. I’m sorry about all the things I said before, even though they were right, but you’re glowing again. And you just returned now. So I’m guessing he was pretty happy to see you,” Evy said, pointing Tessa to join her.
Tessa took off her jacket and then unwrapped her shawl, pausing as Evy stared at her.
“How old are you? Fourteen?” she asked and Tessa stared at her.
“I’m not sure I follow,” Tessa admitted, finishing shedding her winter clothes. Arriving, she had thought California was warm, now though she considered it pretty cold.
“He sure made sure no one could miss what you did last night. You look as if you have a rash,” Evy announced matter-of-factly and Tessa walked over to the hallway mirror, looking at all the love bites along her neck and down her
breast. She knew she should be pissed at him, but she found herself to be more excited than angry.
“It’ll be gone before we go back,” she told Evy, knowing that was a lie. She’d have remnants of that probably for a month. Turning away from the mirror and therefore trying to forget the way Jazz had touched and held her last night, she went back to her best friend and sat down. Evy looked like hell.
“Okay, so tell me about last night. When did the douche stop by?”
Evy shrugged, getting up to put on a pot of coffee. Tessa liked that, her mouth watering as the first amazing whiffs of the smell reached her nose.
“He came at one or so. I woke up because I thought someone had actually torn down the front door. Hilary was faster down the stairs than I was. I kind of think this isn’t the first time this has happened. Tessa, it was terrible. The things he said, the names he called her, only to bring on the tears and beg her to take him back. It was a disaster. I watched her crumble, Tess. She wanted to take him back.”
“She wouldn’t,” Tessa protested.
“She would. She’s lonely. He might be an ass, but he’s a guy, and he could be her ass. She was sobbing quietly. It broke my heart. Aimie and I stayed on the stairs; Emma went down and stood by Hilary. I swear, she looked ready to kick the dude in the balls!”
“I wanted to,” Emma mumbled, coming in. “She cried all night. It took forever until she fell asleep.”
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here,” Tessa whispered, looking at Emma, who instantly went over and filled the waiting coffee mugs. Tessa grinned as she realized that Emma knew exactly how she took her coffee: one spoon of sugar, one-third milk and then just coffee. It seemed to be automatic since she didn’t even pause to think as she prepared it and then placed it in front of Tessa.
“I think she was glad you weren’t there. She tries to be extra strong and cheery in front of you. I can’t even tell you why,” Emma explained and Evy nodded.