by Sam Destiny
“It’s my mom.” He left and only picked up outside when he was sure no one was around. “Hey,” he said, wondering what was up.
“You know, Kris and I decided to take some time off and take a little trip. I just thought you should know,” she said and he smiled to himself. Both his mother and his sister worked too much anyways and he liked the idea of them being away for a while.
“Good for you,” he agreed and she chuckled.
“So, that girl of yours. Any news?” she asked and Jazz looked up at the darkening sky. The end of his workday was approaching finally and he liked that a lot.
“Actually yes. I always knew she was kind of special, but last night I realized how much,” he admitted and she shuffled something around, making him guess that she had sat down and had pulled a blanket close.
“What happened?”
“A guy that I had basic training with died and I had a few drinks with some of the boys from my unit. I couldn’t drive to see her even though I had promised to. I just … I still called her up because I needed to hear her voice. Just a few second. It was as close as I could get without driving in my buzzed state. I told her I’d just see her another day and then I hung up. She didn’t call back. She didn’t send a message. I was so upset, and not seeing her added to that, especially since I had the feeing that her radio silence meant she didn’t care enough for me. Mom, half an hour later she was here … and worried I didn’t want to see her,” Jazz explained.
“Boy, what did you say to her that she thought that? Your girl should never ever doubt that you’re happy to see her,” his mother instantly fussed and he had to chuckle. He knew that was coming.
“Mom, she is leaving. She’s not my girl and even though I know that she and I are not serious…”
“Is she seeing someone while you see her?” his mom interrupted.
“No, but -”
“Do you see someone else while you see her?”
“Mom, no, but -”
“Do you want to see someone else while she is there?”
“No, mom, but -”
“It’s serious. Can we move on with the talk now?” she asked and Jazz sighed.
“I can’t wait to see her tonight and make sure that she knows she’s important to me. I’ve never felt like I did when she just showed up, knowing exactly what I needed. And the way she was with the boys was incredible. I swear, they all fell in love with her on the spot.”
“Did they now?” his mother mused and Jazz wished he was by her side. He didn’t like just hearing her because it didn’t give him the chance to see her expression. She was much more telling in person since her body spoke for her.
“Can’t you just say what you think?” he pushed and she laughed softly, making him miss her even more. He definitely hadn’t seen her enough the last time because he just didn’t take any time off.
“Don’t worry about that now, boy.”
“As soon as Tessa is gone I’ll take some time off and come and see you. I miss the two of you and I’m sorry I haven’t been by in so long,” he said softly and she laughed.
“I swear, if the girl managed nothing else, she at least got you to see what life is about. I gotta run, boy. So much to prepare for our holiday! Talk to you soon!”
She hung up before he even gave the sentiment back, making him stare at his phone, then he pocketed it with a smile. It was time that he got ready to see his girl because first, the girls knew he was coming anyways, and second he was done wasting time with her.
It was weird ringing the doorbell because normally Tessa was almost at the car before he had even turned it off. To his utter surprise Evangeline was the one opening the door.
“Oh, I should have guessed it was you,” she said, lacking the enthusiasm he had picked up normally when he was around the girls.
“Evangeline…”
“It’s Evy,” she corrected, turning away from him, but he stopped her.
“Did I do anything to you?” he asked and she sighed before facing him again. He wanted her to like him since she was Tessa best friend, but obviously he had gone wrong somewhere.
“I don’t know. What is that between Tessa and you? Do you plan on marrying her? Or trying to convince her to stay yours at least? Don’t get me wrong, I always wanted her to try and enjoy this flirt and fling stuff, but I should have known this just isn’t her. I’ve seen the way she is around you. I was stupid to encourage her even while I knew she would be serious and nothing else. I probably was even more stupid to stop her from seeing you when she so clearly wanted it, because it just made her mad at me, but I see the end game. I know how it is to not be able to stop her tears. I know how it is to hold her while sobs almost choke her. I know how it is when she has her heart broken and you…” Evy rambled on. Jazz’s heart ached at the images she threw at him and it hurt him because he wouldn’t be there to hold her. He swallowed hard, wondering if there was anything he could say to ease Evangeline’s obvious worries.
“I was not aiming for that outcome, and I was never planning on her becoming that important to me, but you know what? You’re right. There’s no chance for us because I’m leaving. Even if I say I make it work with her you would have to deal with exactly the thing you just described. And why? Because I’m going to be in the middle of a deployment I’m not even allowed to tell you anything about. I might be able to write her letters, but let’s face it: They’ll take weeks to reach her. If I could give her something that would not make her miserable, I would. Seriously. But as it is, I can’t, which is as well why I won’t breach the topic of ‘us’ with her. I’m a soldier, and I’m tagged for life! I enjoy what I do. It’s what I always wanted. What chance do you see for us? Huh?” He hadn’t intended to fight with her. In fact, he had planned to ask her about Tank, but right now that was the last thing on his mind. He wanted to turn around and leave until he had thought of something that would permanently keep the smile on Tessa’s face. The thought of her crying tears for him almost killed him. He closed his eyes before taking a deep breath and then focusing back on Tessa’s best friend, noticing something on her face that looked dangerously like envy.
Evy blinked a few times, clearly searching for the right words to say, but a gnawing suspicion ate away at Jazz. It turned his helplessness into anger.
“You’re jealous, aren’t you? You are miserable and that’s why she has to be, too. You don’t want her happy. Not even for three weeks. If I had to guess you were probably the reason, too, why she told me we should tone it down. I thought she was your best friend, Evangeline. She would do anything for you. Hell, she’d take that baby in if you decide you’ll give it up. She’s not ready to let you make a mistake, but you’re ready to make her unhappy. In the end, isn’t it about the moments we were happy instead of the moments we’ll regret we never took the chance?”
“You were so eager to correct her when she told you not to be here, weren’t you? You showed up at the door, trying to make it all right. Oh wait, you didn’t! Instead you call her slightly drunk and…” Evy was obviously furious.
“I wasn’t drunk. Not even slightly. I just couldn’t take the chance of driving and risking an accident. And I was stupid for letting Tank tell me that I should stop being so intense about her. I know that now, and trust me; nothing you’ll say will keep me from her as long as she wants to see me. And she does, doesn’t she?” he challenged, but Evangeline just lowered her gaze. Her expression got soft, regretful.
“You’re wrong. I want her to be happy. I just want it to be at home, where she can see him again and again. Don’t you want to know that she is out there, being happy? Isn’t that what you should want if she was so damn important to you? Not keeping anything from her, all the happiness she could get from a relationship with a guy near her?”
Jazz closed his eyes because just the thought of her with someone else cut deep. He wanted to be the one to make her happy, but even if he considered asking her to come to the US with him, why should she give up he
r life in England and join him here after only knowing him three weeks? Was it even possible in a legal way? What would she being doing here?
Only then he realized that even though she might leave a job and a home behind, there was one thing she’d never leave: Evangeline.
They were at a crossroad and no matter which way they went, they would never be the same again. He was not ready to leave the Army and she would never leave her best friend alone, especially not now that a baby was on the way. The worst part was, he was kind of sure Evangeline knew that, too. No matter what he did, he came out the bad guy in the end. It probably was exactly what Tessa’s best friend was aiming at because then she could always tell Tessa it wasn’t her fault. Which, ultimately, it wasn’t, yet it wasn’t his, either.
It almost shattered Jazz, making him consider getting back in his truck so no one would be able to see the tears he feared were coming for the first time since his father’s funeral.
“You know it can’t work,” he finally said and she shrugged.
“I’m not gonna give her up for a guy who will leave her alone most of the time. She’s sensitive and amazing, Jazz. What makes you think long-distance can work for her? And what sacrifices are you willing to make for her? Will you offer her to move and leave your life behind?”
He stayed silent at that.
“I figured,” she said, sounding smug. As much as Tessa thought about her best friend, Jazz couldn’t help but hate her that moment, though it was because she was telling the truth.
“What do you want to hear from me now? I’m too selfish to not see her again, so I guess you gotta live with the fallout and I gotta live with the knowledge of maybe breaking the most amazing girl ever,” he admitted, wishing nothing more than seeing Tessa now so she could ease his aching heart.
“Evy, maybe you should finally stop your intervention and let Jazz come in. Even if it’s only so he can soothe the now already breaking heart of your best friend. I can’t believe you didn’t consider the fact that we all could hear you. That she could hear you. Seriously, Evy, what have you been thinking? You act as if Tessa went in this blind. She’s grown up, for fuck’s sake, and to be honest, right now I’m thinking she might be more grown up than you,” Hilary said, joining them at the door. She was pissed and had no clearly no intention of hiding it.
Jazz looked at the brunette that, in the beginning, seemed to be the one he’d most likely fight for time with Tessa, but who now appeared to be an unlikely alley.
“Come on in and you know where she stays, right?” Hilary asked and Jazz nodded, passing Evangeline.
The two girls were discussing in low voices while he left them behind, hesitating at the door. Was he supposed to knock or did Tessa just expect him to enter?
“She knows there’s no chance for this, she really does. And she doesn’t expect anything from you except making her happy for the remaining days. Remember that, Jesse,” Aimie said, coming up the stairs after him. As much as he liked that she tried to make him feel better, it didn’t help much. He just wanted people to keep their opinions to themselves since he knew he’d be thinking too much about what he could have done differently anyway.
He knocked and then entered without waiting for her invitation. Tessa stood by the window, framed by the late afternoon sun, and he couldn’t help but think she was an angel.
He was by her side in less than two steps, holding her as close as he could.
“You shouldn’t accuse her of things like that, Jazz. She’s having a very hard time dealing with everything and I think she’s jealous, too, but who can blame her? Just do me a favor and don’t fight with her anymore,” she pleaded and he nuzzled her neck, not wanting to say anything. Tessa was making excuses for Evangeline, but she very obviously knew that her best friend had been wrong.
“I don’t expect a miracle, Jazz, I just expect us to be special for two more weeks. You think we can do that? Pretend no one ever out there mentioned that there’s something coming after my trip here?” she pleaded in a hushed voice and he pulled back enough so he could kiss her lips. Neither of them was ready to commit to anything beyond the given time frame and even though it ripped him apart thinking that she would be out of his life soon, this compromise was the best thing he could wish for.
“Oh Tessa,” he groaned, pulling her back against him just so he knew that for now she was still with him.
Chapter Twelve
“God, you girls are getting on my nerves,” Hilary fussed and the rest of the group laughed. They had finally taken off for their trip to Disneyland and Hilary was the poor girl driving for now.
“We aren’t doing anything,” Emma quipped, starting to hum the song that they had been driving Hilary crazy with. It took only thirty seconds and Emma was breaking into a giggle fit.
“I gotta pee,” Aimie announced and Tessa knew that Hilary was about to stop the car and just make them walk.
“I’m hungry. And I need something to drink” Emma shouted.
“I’m the pregnant woman! Only I can demand stuff. And I need to pee, too,” Evy grinned, giving Tessa a wink.
Tessa forced a smile, but then turned away. Evy had tried talking to her about the fight with Jazz, but Tessa had just hugged her and told her there was nothing to worry about. She didn’t feel like causing a rift between them due to a guy, but she couldn’t help feeling hurt, either. It sure had sounded as if Evy had been trying to keep Jazz away. Seemingly there was nothing Tessa could say that would ease her best friend’s mind, and that was a damn shame. She wanted those two to come along because it was not a battle for affection. This was her life and she had enough room in it for both of them, even if Jazz and her were no longer connected once she went back.
“Okay, there’s a diner on the way. We’ll stop there and then all of you go to sleep. Oh, and Tessa moves into the front seat with me. You all kill me,” Hilary shouted over the giggles that still spread in the car every ten second.
She parked the car some twenty minutes later and the girls hopped out.
“I can take over if you want to,” Tessa offered, but Hilary just pocketed her keys, grinning.
“Nah, I suck at giving directions. I just want some peace in the front seat. Evy is taking too much part in the shenanigans going on in the back seat; she might as well be sitting there. You’re a little off since yesterday and I just want to keep you out of it if you want to,” Hilary shrugged and Tessa felt like hugging her.
The other three already had vanished inside the diner, but Tessa just wanted a moment to clear her head.
“You are still excited about going to Disneyland, right?” Hilary asked to reassure herself and Tessa instantly nodded. She thought, just like Jazz, that this would do them good. The girls needed some time away to get their heads cleared.
“I am super excited, I’m just…”
“You aren’t avoiding the pink elephant, you opted for riding it?” Hilary grinned and Tessa nodded.
“There’s one thing that Evy doesn’t understand,” Tessa whispered quietly. She had known for a while what she felt, and that there was no going back with her heart intact. She just planned on taking the positive thing with her, and that was the fact that love always came unexpected.
“That you love Jazz? Like really and truly? If she doesn’t know that, I feel sorry for her,” Hilary replied and Tessa gave her a gentle smile.
“I don’t know. Even if he fulfills her wish and stops coming over, it doesn’t change where my heart is,” she admitted and Hilary paused with her hand on the handle.
“Between us, did you consider taking this further?”
Tessa looked away from Hilary, staring at the door of the diner and yet not seeing anything. “I don’t think there’s any chance for us really. Not right now. He won’t leave the Army, and I would never ask him to. Coming to the US to work sounds easy in theory, but getting a green card is hard. It might take me months over months. So what if I decide to come here, take half a year to get the card and then
he doesn’t even want me anymore? Don’t get me wrong, I would love to live here, but I just don’t see it happening. Not with the current situation,” she finally explained, crossing her arms in front of her body. She would never ever leave Evy alone with the baby, especially not if her best friend decided to give it up.
“Would you really consider adopting your best friend’s baby? You’d be a mom from one moment to the next! You don’t have a job, Tessa! How do you think this would work? And the thing between Evy and you could never stay the same. You two might ruin your friendship this way! You cannot be serious!” Hilary was obviously more than unhappy about it, but Tessa knew that she could never let Evy make the mistake of giving up that baby. She wouldn’t lie though; she hoped Evy would decide for it.
“Hils, stop, okay? I can be serious! I’m grown up, and I know her better than I know anyone! I just can’t let her do that,” Tessa finally announced, hoping that this would close the topic.
“You do realize that this is exactly the argument Evy is giving for going against you and Jazz, right?” her friend asked and Tessa couldn’t help but swallow. She hadn’t known for sure, but it was easy to imagine. After all, Evy and her had been friends for over a decade. They usually did everything together.
“This is different,” she whispered, but Hilary just stared at her before throwing up her hands in exasperation, hugging her then.
“You two are impossible, but if I could, I swear, I’d make it all right for you,” she promised and Tessa had to laugh through the tears that formed in her eyes. She was too damn emotional for her own good.
“Okay, I need food now and they are probably eating without us already. Let’s go,” Hilary grinned, grabbing her arm, but Tessa just shook her head. She needed to hear Jazz’s voice, even if it was for only a second.
“Tessa,” Hilary pleaded, but Tessa just gave her a smile.