by Sam Destiny
“I’m sorry, Tessa. Totally. This whole Jazz-thing caught me off-guard and the intensity of it has been scaring me from the moment I saw you two together. The way he looks at you, and the way you look at him is just … I came here, hoping and kind of expecting that you as my best friend would give me the attention I’m craving since everything happened with … you know,” she shrugged and Tessa wondered where this was going. “I’ve been selfish and needy, I know, and I’m sorry about that. You and Jazz…”
Tessa took a deep breath, ready to interrupt her best friend, but Evy instantly put up her hands. “I’m not about to fuss. Just let me get out what I need to say,” she pleaded and Tessa resigned herself to listening while Hilary pulled them into a shuttle. It was full and Tessa almost had to stand on top of Evy because room was so limited, but that didn’t stop Evy from finishing all she wanted to say. Not even with the people around them very obviously listening as well.
“You and Jazz just clicked. Every time you two are together, sparks are flying. I know that. And I know that there was no way for you to get around getting caught in the flames. I’ve never seen you as happy as you’ve been those days you saw him. I know you’ll hurt leaving him, but I was stupid for demanding and asking you to step away from that before you get burned. Maybe it already was too late the first night when you and him picked me up. Anyways, I’ve been a sucky best friend because you should be coming to me to gush about how amazing he is. So, to ease my guilty conscience and to show you that I totally believe in you, I got you a job.”
Tessa nodded, only to then do a double take. “What did you just say?” Being torn between feeling insulted and elated, she opted for pretending she hadn’t heard right.
“Two of your clients decided to start a radio station. I know you always wanted to do radio and I still had some of the files you once recorded for me when I couldn’t read because I was too sick … remember that?” Evy asked.
Tessa did remember that. She had kind of made an audio book for her best friend, but still she had no idea what Evy was saying.
“They got the files and loved your voice. Once you’re back you are supposed to contact them. I know you never did a radio show before, not really besides some webcasts, but I trust you can do it. They want you on a show, or at least would be ready to have you try your luck. It would be good if you could bring in ideas about what maybe would work. Truth is, they just have a lot of money. They come from a concert company, so they never really did radio, either. It’s just like a hobby for them and of course your radio station would be tiny, but they pay well and they will offer online radio along with it. Do they have a motto? No, they don’t yet. Is there any music they don’t like? I doubt that. Like I said, once you’re back you’re supposed to call them. It’s my way of apologizing for not being the friend I should have been,” Evy finished and Tessa stared at her.
When she had said she wanted to work on the radio she had planned on getting a behind-the-scenes-job again, maybe doing some weather on air. She had not the slightest idea about making a whole radio show.
“Uhm…” she started, but what was there left to say? ‘Thank you’ didn’t really seem to cut it.
“Just tell me you aren’t mad anymore,” Evy pleaded and for the first time in days she reminded her of her best friend again. And Tessa was glad to see her make an appearance.
“I’m not. I was just so hurt, but I could understand your reasoning. Still, I’m knee-deep in anyways, so we’ll just pick up the pieces together whenever I’m back. Plus, I probably won’t ever have time to really hurt about Jazz because… Wow, thanks to you I have a job,” she mumbled, hardly being able to believe that. One of her worries just had been eased considerably.
Hugging her best friend she jumped out of the shuttle as they stopped, feeling lighter than she had in months. For a few perfect hours her life was fully coming together: She maybe had scored her dream job, she definitely had scored her dream guy and, when she looked up, the sun was shining, adding perfect weather to her amazing mood. Now all she needed was a spell so she could hold onto all of that. Then again, they were at Disneyland. What better place was there to find magic than here?
Jazz was glad he had taken Tank along to meet his mother and sister. They knew him from a few holidays and award-ceremonies and his mother loved Tank as if he was her second son. It made Jazz love his mother even more.
“So, Tank, are you gonna go with Jazz on this deployment and protect him like you did on all the others?” Kris wanted to know, but Tank just shook his head. The playful mood that had been in the air just a few moments ago was gone.
“No, this is on all on Jazz. He wants to move up that ladder, I just want to find myself a nice little girl and be all good to her,” Tank grinned, trying to get away from the heavy topic that Jazz’s sister just had started.
“You will find a girl that will hook you good,” Jazz’s mom announced, patting Tank’s knee before she looked back at her son. “I had hoped with you knowing Tessa maybe your need to go on more deployments would evaporate,” she then added in his direction and Jazz sighed, reaching for his glass of orange juice.
“They’re not getting married, Ela. In fact, I don’t think they’ll see much of each other once she goes back. They’re living two different lives and Jazz really wants this position. The deployment is his ticket and he’s so gonna make this count. It’s Africa, Raphaela, not Iraq,” Tank explained gently and still Jazz’s mother looked at her son.
“I’m going to be safe, Mom. We’re there to help with diseases and with schools and all of that. Seriously, this will just be four months of me doing good stuff, okay? I’ll be coming back a little more tanned and still the same son to you. Afterwards, I get my Sergeant – position that I have been aiming at forever. I love the Army, Mom, and you know that,” he insisted, wondering if his mother really had thought that Tessa’s appearance changed it all.
“You’re out of the country for four months, so of course I hope that whatever comes along makes you reconsider. Will you be able to call us from there this time? Let me know once a week that you’re okay?” she probed and he shook his head. He couldn’t promise that. In fact, he doubted it. As it was, he had already said more about it than he should have.
“I’m gonna keep you updated,” Tank promised instead of letting Jazz answer and he was glad. He had to grin as he realized that sometimes he just knew why Tank was his best friend when, on other days, he just wanted to knock him senseless.
“You’re such a good man, Thomas,” his mother mumbled, petting Tank’s arm.
“How’s Tessa liking this whole going away thing?” Kris asked and Jazz bit his lip, wondering how best to answer this.
“She’s not his damn girlfriend. Jazz and her just had some sweet times so far, they will spend the rest of her holiday together and then she’s leaving and our boy becomes successful in the Army. One day he’ll be highly decorated and I’m gonna live in his awesome bachelor pad and bring all the hot girls to the party that this boy wouldn’t get without me. We’ll be happily single for the rest of our lives and once we get to a retirement center Jazz and I will sweeten up the ladies there. So really it doesn’t matter what Tessa thinks about all of that. She had his panties in a knot enough anyways,” Tank said, carelessly downing the rest of his coffee.
Both Jazz’s mother and sister watched him intently. It was as if they could read him without any troubles. Just a few months ago he would have agreed with Tank about the way their lives would proceed. Hell, just a few weeks ago he would have totally agreed that this was the best way to spend life, but now he really wished he could make the Army and Tessa work.
“That’s how life should be for you, boy?” His mother asked and Jazz could already hear the judgment in her tone.
“Can we please not talk about Tessa? I have no idea any longer what I want or what I don’t want. I wish I could see her right now just so I know how she’s doing and what she’s up to. Does she think of me? Does she wor
ry as much as I do? Does she hope we could figure this out? Problem is simply that I don’t think we can really, so for now I’m looking forward, focusing on the fact that I am getting closer and closer to that position I want; to reach the goals I have been aiming for. And Thomas, do me a favor and stop pretending Tessa’s just some other girl. She never was and never will be, so you might as well get used to it.”
With that he got up and went outside of the little café they had grabbed brunch in. It didn’t take long and the door opened and closed behind him again.
“What’s up, Jesse?” Kris asked. His sister was obviously the one to follow him and he couldn’t decide if that was worse or better than his mother.
“I don’t know. It’s…” He rubbed his chin, noticing that he had forgotten to shave, then he remembered that Tessa had liked it that way and he decided against shaving until he had to get ready for duty Monday morning.
“It’s what?” his sister wanted to know and he shrugged.
“Impossible. I fell in love with a girl that cannot stay by my side. As it is, I don’t know anything about her really, do I? And still I was considering moving to a British Army base. Am I crazy?”
Kris shrugged and then hugged him tight. “You’re in love, Jesse, truly in love and it scares you -”
“I don’t know about her habits after she gets up. I don’t know what she likes for breakfast. I have no idea if she enjoys relaxing with a bath after work or with a glass of wine. Will she still be crazy for me even if I come home grumpy?” he wondered out loud and then couldn’t help but wish for a trial run with her. He wanted to see it, wanted to get up with her and then come home to her.
“Take off, Jazz. Go and see her. Don’t find excuses. Just stay with her three weeks. Or four. However long you can have,” Kris nudged and Jazz wanted it. God, how much he wanted it!
Looking at his sister he couldn’t help but actually warm to the idea.
“I should,” he mused and Kris picked up a brow.
“So, what’s worrying you now?” she wanted to know and he took a deep breath. He knew that he was about to say the most male thing now, but he couldn’t help it.
“Shouldn’t the girl be the one to talk about that? Be all clingy and stuff? Shouldn’t Tessa be the first to bring up that topic?” He knew that he was trying to chicken out of the talk, but somehow he couldn’t stand the idea of being turned down by her.
“Wow, Jesse! Since when do you play the caveman card? Haven’t you always gone after what you wanted? Why would you change that now? Especially since we talk about her! The girl that you can’t stop thinking about. The girl that came out to see you and offer you a hug when you felt terrible.”
He didn’t need a reminder of how much he was into her, or why. He knew that better than anyone.
“What if she really considered this just fling? What do I do if she expected to go back home and never hear back from me? Maybe that’s why she avoided talking about us,” he suggested, but Kris just gave him a silencing look.
“Is that the idea you got?” she wanted to know.
When he didn’t answer, she went on. “Here’s the deal: The moment I figure Tessa wants something more, I’m gonna tell you and you can talk to her about your plan to see her,” she offered and he breathed in relief.
“Spy girl 1.0 in secret mission. Are you gonna ask her about all her exes and her life plans?” he wanted to know, but she just cocked her head.
“Are you taking the deal or not?” she pushed and he grinned, hugging her. This was the best plan ever.
“Deal,” he agreed and before he could react, Kris had reached for his phone, holding it out to him.
“And now, call her and tell her you’ll see her. Jazz, that girl called just because she was missing your voice. She didn’t mind talking to your mother or your sister. She doesn’t care about sitting in a room with guys over guys as long as she can be there for you. I think Spy Girl heard enough during that talk to know where that girl’s heart is. Now pull your head out of your ass and call,” she announced and he stared at her, surprised.
“Brat,” he grinned then, tousling her hair, before hugging her tight. “I’ll tell her when I see her in person. But for now, let’s go back inside,” he suggested and she nodded, not moving out of his arms and he didn’t mind. Sometimes he was more than glad that he had a little sister and this was definitely one of those times.
The girls worked their way around one section of Disneyland, enjoying the few Disney characters they met every now and then. Whenever they got a chance they took pictures with them, feeling as if they were right back in their early teens. Tessa had never guessed that Hilary and Aimie could squeal like twelve-year-olds whenever they met Pluto, but it was fun to watch.
She had to admit that though she still felt a little sad. Evy and her maybe had solved some issues, but there was still the baby to talk about.
“The Haunted Mansion! Come on, let’s go,” Emma pleaded, starting to pull on Tessa’s sleeve.
“I’m not sure we all should go in,” Aimie said slowly, throwing a long glance at Evy.
“Oh, don’t worry. I don’t mind horror or scary. I don’t scare easily and trust me, Peanut should get used to scary stuff,” Evy grinned while Tessa saw Aimie pale.
Tessa went to Aimie’s side, linking arms with her. “I’m scared, too, but we just sit down, cover our faces with our hands and then we’ll be fine,” she suggested with a grin. She couldn’t help but wish Jazz were there. She could cuddle into him, hide her face in the crook of his neck and maybe even tease him. Horror sure could quickly turn into something different. But, Jazz wasn’t there and therefore Tessa would be literally holding her friend’s hand.
They entered together and Hilary and Emma took Evy between them. Tessa couldn’t help but be disappointed. She secretly had hoped to get a spot between Evy and Aimie, but instead she just made sure that strangers surrounded her as they entered the foyer. The doors were closed and a bodiless voice started to tell a story about all the pictures hanging on the wall. It was almost completely dark in the room and Tessa clutched to Aimie until another hand reached for her, squeezing her free hand. It was Evy, turning to her with a wink. As much as Tessa wanted to focus on the story, she knew from experience that it was merely meant to distract people from ‘ghosts’ sneaking up on them.
“Why did we go in?” Aimie asked, her voice strained.
“Because Hils would have kicked our asses if we hadn’t?” Tessa asked back, her voice shaking.
Suddenly the disembodied voice announced that the room was stretching and all doors would vanish. It got pitch black and something flashed blue at the ceiling. Tessa didn’t get an exact look at it, but she didn’t care. As people started to scream, so did she. After all, they had to have a reason, right?
Aimie held onto her as if her life depended on it, then luckily the low light was turned back on. It was better than nothing. They were led out of the room and told that ghosts only came out if no one used a flash. Tessa seriously considered taking out her phone and turning on the light, but she figured then she’d be kicked out sooner than she thought.
Huh, maybe that wasn’t the worst plan after all.
They stood pretty much at the front of the line, getting into one of the carriages with Evy still between Emma and Hilary. Those three seemed to have the time of their lives while Tessa felt as if she was dying a slow death. Her heart was racing in her throat while she was told that legs and arms were to remain inside the carriage for the entire ride.
Tessa snorted.
“Who the fuck would reach out here? You never know what you’d be touching,” Aimie mumbled and Evy twisted in her seat.
“You two do realize that none of this is real, right?” she asked, laughter in her voice.
“This darkness is pretty real,” Tessa gave back just when they started moving. She covered her eyes with her hands, not wanting to see anything. The noises were enough; like the thing that sounded like a damn witch
doing some spell. The voice made the little hairs on her arms stand up.
“Yeah, call all the spirits,” Aimie cursed and Tessa almost would have laughed at her friend’s tone, but as it was, she could barely hear anything over the blood rushing in her ears. She knew she hated scary, but she simply hadn’t been ready to look like the weak link in the group.
The few times she actually did sneak a glance through her eyes she saw a huge ballroom with a table in the middle. There obviously was a feast going on and 3-D-projections made it possible to have dancing couples vanish and reappear. Tessa lowered her hand in awe. This was almost … beautiful.
“See, it’s not that bad,” Hilary said from the front seat as they passed paintings where one character vanished every now and then. It didn’t stop Tessa from covering her eyes again though. She figured that this ride would still end on a scare and wasn’t ready to risk anything.
Only when they crossed the threshold did Tessa breathe freely again.
Hilary pulled them further along, making them get some food on the way. She wasn’t obvious about it, but Tessa noticed how both, Hilary and Emma, constantly watched out for Evy, ensuring she drank enough or didn’t get out of breath. A few times Tessa was ready to remind them that Evy was only in her first trimester, but seemingly that didn’t matter to either of them.
“Ohhhh,” Hilary suddenly screamed, pointing straight ahead. “The Screamin’ Roller Coaster! Let’s go,” she pleaded, turning to them. She was still walking a little funny in her pants, moving her butt left and right a few times.
Evy instantly declined and as much as Tessa wanted to go, she wouldn’t leave her best friend alone while the rest had fun.
“I’m gonna do a second round later on with you,” Aimie promised and Tessa checked the fast-pass-line. It wouldn’t be more than ten minutes wait for them. Even if they wouldn’t have the passes it wouldn’t be more than quarter of an hour.