‘I’ll pick the movie,’ Tom said as he threw himself onto my comfortable leather sectional.
‘I’ll call the takeout,’ I said.
‘I’m on uncorking duty,’ Janice added, before thrusting some envelopes at me. ‘Here’s your personal mail from this morning.’
‘Thanks,’ I nodded, taking it from her and setting it on the kitchen island. Right now, food was more important. After lunching on the meagre offerings from the police vending machine earlier, I was ravenous.
Richard
I felt like bashing my head against the floor joists in frustration. Not only had she just set down the mail that contained another reminder that I was watching her, she was supposed to be alone tonight. All of my planning had led to this moment and it was about to be foiled by her two damn friends who were driving me insane with their banal conversation.
When they settled in to watch a second film, I couldn’t take any more. I crawled my way back to my temporary home and headed out to get another packet of cigarettes and a bottle of scotch. If it was going to be a long night, I might as well take the edge off my frustration.
Alex
Once we’d watched Kingsmen: The Secret Service, followed by Bridget Jones’s Baby, all washed down with some good wine, food, and company, I was feeling noticeably less stressed. If Richard was here in London he’d have made a move. Maybe sending me that flower had been designed to intentionally put me on edge. Patience had most certainly never been one of his virtues, and I felt fairly confident that he wouldn’t want to risk another prison sentence by pushing the boundaries of the protection order.
‘I’ll have another bottle while you’re up,’ Tom hiccupped, waggling his empty wine glass at me, as Janice laughed and nodded her agreement.
‘You two will drink my flat dry one of these days,’ I retorted as I made my way over to grab another bottle from the fridge for them to share, and some water for me. I couldn’t afford to have a hangover. Now Castle had wiped me out of original pieces, I needed to get painting again tomorrow. I twisted off the blue plastic cap and guzzled some of the cold liquid back, wiping my lips on the back of my arm as I eyed up my mail. I picked it up and flicked through it. Bill, bill, another bill. I stopped to find what felt like a card in a typed addressed envelope, which piqued my interest. It wasn’t my birthday, and it was a little too early for Christmas cards.
I giggled as I heard Tom and Janice arguing over their age-old debate of who was fitter, Colin Firth or Patrick Dempsey, and opened the envelope.
My laughter died on my lips as I stared at the familiar image printed in gloss on the white card. I felt the room closing in, shadows from the corners chasing away the light as I heard my blood coursing through my veins and my hands started to tremble. It was a postcard of the painting of the galaxy I’d left in Richard’s house. The one that reminded me of the worst times of my life. Hardly able to breathe I turned it over and shook my head as I read the inscription, printed in Richard’s preferred font of choice.
‘My art. Oh, Alex, how could you have been so stupid,’ I said to myself as the light bulb clicked on in my head. I’d done everything to protect my new identity, but step away from the one thing in my life that had brought me joy. And he knew it. He probably knew all along that it would bring me comfort. He didn’t need to try and trace my steps to figure out where I’d gone, all he’d had to do was track and investigate new artists. No wonder he’d come straight to London, he’d probably known where I was from the moment I sold my first piece online. Myself excluded, no one was a greater connoisseur of my work. He’d have recognised it immediately.
‘Alex, what is it?’ Tom called.
‘It’s him. He doesn’t just know where I work, he knows where I live. It’s just a matter of time before he comes for me in person.’
‘Dick? He’s sent you something else?’ he gasped as he shot unsteadily to his feet. I nodded and tried to swallow, but my mouth was completely dry. ‘Ring the police now, this is concrete evidence.’
‘Evidence of what? It’s just like the delivery yesterday. It doesn’t have his name on it, anyone could have sent it. The image only has significance to me, the words aren’t threatening, they won’t do anything.’ I bit my lower lip as I started to pace the floor, adrenaline rushing through my body, making me feel oddly giddy from the hot flush burning my skin and the nauseous feeling saturating it. It was the age-old fight or flight response. Except I’d been complacent. I’d stupidly assumed I was safe and that I didn’t need to learn to fight. Was running away again really my only option? Saying goodbye to my home, my friends, and possibly turning my back on the career I’d forged and loved?
‘They have to listen, surely,’ Janice urged as she plucked the card out of my hands and studied it.
‘They have to find him first and they can’t. You heard them this morning, Tom, they need time. They’re looking for a needle in a haystack, but he’s already found me. He can strike whenever he wants and I’m powerless to stop him.’
‘I don’t accept that, you have the law on your side. We’ll make sure you’re never alone.’
‘I can’t drag you both into this, it’s not going to be safe for you to be near me as long as I’m in London.’
‘Then we’ll go away, the three of us, for a holiday while the police investigate,’ he suggested, stopping my pacing by standing in front of me. He rubbed his hands up and down my arms in a comforting gesture. ‘Or–’
‘No “or.” I don’t want an “or.” I’m liking the whole “the three of us go on holiday” idea,’ Janice protested.
‘Or,’ Tom repeated, raising his eyebrows as he held my gaze.
‘Or what?’ I asked, taking the bait.
‘You ring a certain hot billionaire with his own private island and take him up on his offer.’
‘No,’ I said firmly, shaking off his hold and moving towards the sofa so I could pace again. ‘I won’t put him in danger.’
‘Oh charming, so it’s okay for your best friends to be in the firing line?’
‘Of course it’s not, Tom, but you’re aware, you can choose to walk away. He doesn’t know my history, it’s unfair to drag him into it when he doesn’t have all of the facts.’
‘How are you dragging him into anything? You board a plane and go to wherever he lives. Unless Dick moonlights as a super-spy in his spare time, how’s he going to track where you flew from and to? As far as he’s concerned you’d just vanish for the next however many weeks, which gives the police more time to try and find him. And as far as Castle’s concerned you’re taking him up on a working holiday proposition.’
‘I don’t always agree with Tom, but that does make sense. You’d be safer with Tate Castle than here with us,’ Janice nodded. ‘He has his own security team, one of them came in with him this morning, built like a brick shit house. I’m telling you that no one in their right mind would mess with him.’
‘That’s the problem. I doubt Richard’s ever been in his right mind. There’s no telling what he might do.’
‘Then much as I love you, and I do love you, Alex, while it might not be fair that Dick’s calling the shots on your life choices again, maybe it is safer for me and Janice if you do go away for a while.’
‘Goddamn it!’ I yelled, stamping my foot on the floor in frustration as I covered my eyes with my palms. Would I seriously spend the rest of my life regretting ever meeting this man?
‘Ring Castle now,’ Tom suggested.
‘I need to sleep on it. I just need to get my head straight and consider all of my options first.’
‘Sounds like you’re all out of options to me,’ Janice said sagely. ‘If I had a psycho stalker out there, I’d run like hell, or lock myself in and never leave the house.’
‘You really think he’s out there?’ Tom asked as I lowered my hands.
‘I honestly don’t know,’ I shrugged as I looked over towards the front window that overlooked the street. ‘I’ve had … I’ve just had this
weird feeling that I’m being watched, for weeks now, even before I knew he was in London.’
‘That’s creepy,’ Janice said with a shudder.
‘It really is,’ I agreed. I wrapped my arms around myself in a self-comforting gesture, not sure at this moment that anything could comfort me.
‘I need that drink, something stronger than wine,’ Tom said as he threw open the door to the freezer and pulled out my Vodka. ‘All of this drama has my nerves on edge.’
‘Mine too,’ Janice added.
I gave them both a wry smile. I had a feeling that they had no idea what living in constant fear felt like, where your heart raced constantly to the point you thought it would implode. But I’d never been more grateful to have them both in my corner.
I walked slowly over to the window. Living upstairs I rarely closed the curtains, except in my bedroom, but suddenly I wanted to shut the outside world out. I looked out and blinked a few times as my eyes adjusted to the gloom outside, the street lights casting an unnatural and eerie glow to the cold October haze that blanketed the city. Was he really out there somewhere?
Richard
When I left the shop I shivered, and pulled my wool coat tightly around me, the bottle safely stored in one of its deep pockets. I sauntered my way back and paused as I looked up at the still-lit windows of her flat. I pulled my cigarettes out and leaned against the wall opposite, using some of the heat from the lighter to warm my cold hands. Taking a deep drag, I flicked my gaze back up, hoping that by the time I returned to my watch post, her friends would have left and I’d be free to finally get my hands on her.
I didn’t expect her to look out of the window and for our eyes to meet. Her physically seeing me hadn’t been part of the plan, but hell, if it didn’t make my fucking day to see the look of horror on her face as she stared at me for a few seconds, before quickly disappearing.
Movement in my left field of vision made me snap my head around and curse. A man was standing in the very shop doorway that I’d used to hide myself in last night, but unlike me, his focus wasn’t on Alex. It was fixed firmly on me, and I was looking right at the lens of the camera on his phone as he took my picture.
I bolted, tossing my half-spent cigarette to the floor. The sound of heavy footsteps coming after me forced me to pick up my pace. If anything, living in fear for your life each day and night in prison, gave you one hell of an incentive to keep yourself in top physical condition.
Alex
A horrified gasp left my lips as I threw myself back against the wall, out of sight. My heart wasn’t just racing, it had just burst right out of my chest.
‘What, what is it?’ Tom asked as he put his glass down and ran over.
‘He’s … he’s there, Tom. He’s standing on the other side of the street looking up at me.’ I couldn’t just hear the fear in my voice, I could almost taste it as it radiated from every pore in my trembling body.
‘What?’ Janice exclaimed, as she rushed over to stand next to him and peer out. ‘I don’t see anyone.’
‘Nor me, are you sure you didn’t imagine it, Alex?’ Tom asked, his forehead pressed against the window pane as he gazed out into the dark.
‘I know what I saw, Tom!’ I cried, reaching up to hold my head as my breath left me in a shaky exhale.
‘Maybe it was someone else and your mind’s playing tricks on you when your head is already full of him. Maybe you just thought it was him,’ Janice suggested.
‘Trust me, that man’s face is ingrained on my memory. I’d never forget it. You have to believe me, it was him.’ I quickly pulled the cord to lower the Roman blind, like that would afford me any protection. ‘He’s not just in London, he’s here, in SoHo.’
‘I believe you, but please tell me that you’ll call the police now?’ Tom said, spinning to face me. I nodded and Janice ran to grab the phone from its cradle. ‘And once they’re done taking statements, you’re going to ring Tate Castle to get you out of the country as soon as possible, while I pack your bags.’
It was four a.m. by the time I crawled into bed, feeling as if I had concrete boots on my feet and a pneumatic drill working inside my head. I’d never felt more weary. Giving statements had been tiring and, I felt, pointless. I closed my eyes, desperately trying to push all the invading thoughts and worries swirling around my brain out of mind.
Richard
Sunday
I was exhausted by the time I snuck back into the flat in the early hours of the morning. It had taken a long time to shake off the guy chasing me, and I felt it was prudent not to head straight back, in case he was anticipating my return to the area.
A quick glance up at her window showed her flat was in darkness, and I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I headed up the rusty rear fire escape to the locked flat. Working quickly with my tools, I used another of the skills I’d picked up in prison to pick the lock of the white wooden door. The thought of finally laying my hands on her again tonight, suddenly chased away the tiredness that only moments before had my feet wanting to head in the direction of my bed.
Shrugging off my coat, I shoved the pair of silver handcuffs and a gag into the pockets of my jeans and went to stand in front of the cracked bathroom mirror. I ran my hands through my hair as I took a second to breathe in the enormity of the moment. I’d thought of nothing else but laying my hands back on her, since the moment I’d been snapped out of my drugged stupor to find the police cutting the handcuff that was chaining me to the bed, only to snap on a set of their own seconds later. And now I was only seconds away from exacting my revenge.
I moved quickly and quietly as I reached her loft access and lowered the stairs. Each step I took towards her had my heart beating so loudly with excitement that I thought I’d alert her to my presence.
I was about to place my foot on the lounge floor when a soft snore from the sofa made me freeze. I snapped my head in its direction and silently cursed. Face down, out for the count, was her fucking queer assistant Tom. He wasn’t exactly likely to put up much of a fight if I had to go toe to toe with him, but he was an added complication that could give Alex time to call for help.
‘Fuck, fuck, fuck!’ I cursed under my breath, as I retreated and pulled the loft access shut. I lay on my stomach and peered through the peephole directly over the bed. She was asleep on top of the bed, her friend Janice under the covers next to her. Damn her for making friends.
‘Isabelle,’ I called. ‘Isabelle. You can’t protect yourself forever. And the second you’re alone, I’ll be fucking ready for you.’
Alex
I startled myself awake, a sheen of perspiration covering me as I panted for air. It was still early on Sunday morning, with no hint of daybreak. Janice was softly breathing to my right, totally oblivious to my night terror as I bolted upright.
‘He’s not here, you’re safe. He’s not here, you’re safe.’ I repeated the words over and over as I took long slow breaths to try and calm myself down. I might be saying them, but why didn’t I believe them? I could feel his presence surrounding me, choking the life out of me. I’d even imagined I’d just heard his voice faintly calling my name, Isabelle, in that sing-song creepy way he always had when he was approaching my bedroom.
I staggered into my bathroom, closed the door and turned on the light, squinting until my eyes adjusted to the brightness. I always felt safer in the light, but monsters attacked when you least expected it, they had no sense of time or compassion. I stripped off and stepped into a hot shower, scrubbing at my skin in an attempt to remove any trace of the memory of his touch from my body, until parts of it were almost raw.
It was a sobering thought when I realised that this was going to be my life until he was caught. Living on a knife-edge again, always in fear, while bit by bit he stripped away the confidence and happiness that I’d painstakingly built in the last five years. I decided there and then, he may own my past, but there was no way he was going to own my future.
I stepped out of the shower and
grabbed a towel to wrap myself in as I came to a decision. I needed to buy myself some time, somewhere he couldn’t get at me, mentally or physically. I needed to start dealing with the pain I’d internalised, and I needed to learn how to protect myself. I might be Alex Bishop now, but once I’d been Isabelle Knight, the woman who had fought back, who didn’t let him break my survival instinct. Maybe a bit of her still lived in me, as I was determined he wasn’t going to do it again.
Castle
‘Who the hell was he?’ I asked Davis, as he relayed the fact that he’d chased a man who’d been staring up at Alex’s window from the street, last night. I felt on edge at the news, the need to take care of her was almost bordering on an obsession. But I couldn’t help someone who didn’t want to be helped.
‘Unknown at this stage. I managed to get a photograph, but it wasn’t that clear given it was dark, and our systems couldn’t trace him. I threw it over to Davenport earlier this morning. I’m not sure if he’ll have any more luck with it.’
‘Keep me updated, and next time I want to be told when it happens, not hours after.’
‘Sorry, sir. I didn’t feel it warranted a call late at night as nothing actually transpired.’
‘Consider it does warrant a call, in future, regardless of time, or time zone differences, Davis,’ I ordered, sure the frustration was apparent in my tone.
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Goddamn it,’ I muttered as I hung up.
I ran a hand through my hair before staring out of the plane window. If I’d had this information last night, I wouldn’t have been so hasty in giving up on waiting for her to call me, then jumping on board to head home. If we’d only just left London, I might have thought about turning back. But as it was, we’d be starting our descent into Tortola any time soon and my plane would need to refuel, not to mention that my pilot would need time to rest before a return trip to London. Besides, what would be the point? Setting aside this fast and potent attraction I’d developed for the woman, it wasn’t like she’d given me any indication that my presence in her life was welcomed. If she couldn’t even accept my offer of help, I wasn’t about to force myself into her life uninvited. I’d already crossed the line with what I’d done without her knowledge, in an attempt to keep her safe from whomever she was running from.
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